Reviewed by: ChristineAcedon

Title: Bhagya

Author's name: Uditasree

Cover: 9/10

I love the image that you use for your cover as well as the coloring of it. It comes off as intriguing and beautiful. The title is clear and easy to read, though maybe a bit too close to the top?

Title: 10/10

Your titles are always so simple, and you give the meaning for the word right at the top of your blurb which is a great touch for those of us reading without the insight into the culture and language.

Blurb/Description: 7/10

The description is enticing but doesn't really say what the story is about. It should be a short description; the character, setting, conflict, etc. The last line of your description is fantastic, leaving your readers eager to dive in and learn about the anklets; where she got them, how they brought her BHAGYA, and what made her change her mind about hating the sound of them.

Creativity and originality: 10/10

Once again, you do well with the creativity here. I find this story to be very original and creative. I love that you started it with a letter before going back to the time the story actually took place. Devi and Nandan are such interesting characters and I love that it's not what I expected the story to be about. I also enjoyed how you used this story to address issues that women have across the world.

Plot and Flow: 17/20

I would love to see more details throughout the story. You do a good job of telling your reader what is going on, what has happened, and what someone is thinking, but sometimes it would be better to show instead of tell. Show the type of person the town drunkard is and why one may pity their spouse. Do it through their actions so that readers can form their own opinions.

There are also moments, such as between Devi's father and Nandan, that I feel are glossed over. I would imagine it would've been an important conversation for both of them; strong emotions, strong reactions, etc.

Character Development: 18/20

As mentioned above, I think you would do well to show instead of tell sometimes. Possibly some flashbacks of Nandan's past as well as Devi's. Give their backstory to better understand their current feelings and actions.

Writing style: 9/10

Love your work, love your style. The fact that you define different parts of your culture makes your work enjoyable, fun, but also informative and education toward cultures outside of the reader's own. That's not something that everyone thinks to do and not something everyone can pull off while still maintaining the 'fun' aspect of a story. You do it well.

Grammar, spelling, etc.: 6/10

There were points in the story where you were missing punctuation or maybe a word was capitalized when it shouldn't be. For example in the first chapter, third paragraph, there should be a '.' between the word 'homeworks' and the ending quotation marks. Homework is also the same singular or plural and should just say, 'complete your homework.' The following paragraph, the word 'replied' should not be capitalized as it is a part of the dialogue and telling who is speaking.

In the second chapter specifically, I noticed times where the wording was a bit confusing. For example, "when a bird with wings cannot fly, how can a caged one can?" While I believe I understand the meaning behind what is being said, I believe it could be phrased better.

Overall: 86/100

You touch on a very important issue within this story and you did it well; taking a stand without allowing it to define the entire story. Of the three stories I've been able to read from you, this one is my favorite. I love Devi's thirst for knowledge and her desire for more just as much as I love Nandan's loyalty to those who are important to him.

I would've loved to see more of them both and I would've really enjoyed seeing just how much of an impact they truly had afterward. I'm a sucker for happy endings and you always deliver.

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