Reviewed by: christeewrites

Book Title: Battle of Invisible Thorns: Part 1 of Rise of Midnight

Author's Name: Swanangel15

Cover: 6/10

The cover doesn't properly convey the story's theme. Consider adding a more moody and dark backdrop and maybe changing the picture to one that fits a more YA vibe. The title font is a bit harder to read as well. Consider changing the font to something lighter and bolder to grab attention.

Title: 6/10

"Battle of Invisible Thorns" is evocative but feels more suited to a high fantasy novel than a contemporary young adult story. While it captures Alexis' emotional struggles, something simpler like "Alexis' Song" or "Unseen Struggles" might better fit the genre and theme. Adding "Rise of Midnight" as a series title still provides a sense of continuity.

Blurb/Description: 7/10

The blurb sets up Alexis' journey and emotional stakes effectively, highlighting her desire to become a singer and find people who love her for who she is. However, it could be more concise. For example, rather than "Would she find people who would look beyond the surface and embrace her inner self?" you could say, "Will Alexis find acceptance and achieve her dreams?"

Creativity and Originality: 8/10

The concept of a protagonist struggling against familial neglect and societal obsession with appearances is relatable and compelling. Alexis' dream of becoming a singer adds a unique angle. Her contrast with her sister Diamond's golden-child persona gives the story depth, though themes of sibling rivalry are familiar territory.

Plot and Flow: 16/20

The plot is heartfelt and emotionally engaging, especially the depiction of Alexis' neglect by her parents. The pacing is generally good, though some scenes feel repetitive—for example, repeated instances of Diamond being praised while Alexis is overlooked. A stronger emphasis on Alexis' growth and steps toward her singing dream would add balance.

Character Development: 7/10

Alexis' character is relatable and sympathetic, especially in moments like her yearning for recognition ("Would they ever see the girl inside the plain façade?"). Diamond's arrogance and favoritism are well-drawn, but her growth, if any, isn't apparent yet. Supporting characters, such as Alexis' parents, are one-dimensional, defined only by their favoritism.

Writing Style, Grammar, and Spelling: 7/10

The writing effectively conveys emotions but could benefit from polishing. For instance, phrases like "Mom was smiling as she played with Diamond's hair, experimenting with new hairstyles" feel overly detailed for their narrative weight. There are minor grammatical errors and awkward phrasing, such as "directing a small, delicate index finger in my direction." Simplifying sentences would enhance readability.

Genre Relevance: 9/10

The book fits well in the young adult genre, tackling themes of self-identity, societal pressures, and family dynamics. Alexis' internal struggles and her dream of becoming a singer resonate strongly with readers looking for an emotional journey.

Reader Enjoyment and Communication: 8/10

The story's emotional core is engaging, and Alexis' struggles evoke empathy. Moments like her attempts to summarize classic novels for her parents are endearing. However, the narrative sometimes lingers too long on repetitive scenes of neglect, which might test readers' patience. Highlighting her small victories or moments of hope would provide a better emotional balance.

Overall: 75/100

Battle of Invisible Thorns: Part 1 of Rise of Midnight is a touching exploration of self-worth, family, and ambition. Alexis' journey is relatable and heartfelt, though the narrative occasionally feels weighed down by repetition. With more focus on her growth and less on her sister's triumphs, the story could soar. While the title and cover do align with the themes, they could be adjusted to better fit the young adult contemporary genre. It's a promising start to a series, especially for readers who enjoy character-driven young adult stories.

Tips:

Update the title: Consider a title that better fits the contemporary YA genre, like "Alexis' Song" or "Unseen Struggles."Enhance the cover design: Incorporate elements of Alexis' singing aspirations or her emotional duality for a more eye-catching appeal.Add depth to supporting characters: Develop Alexis' parents beyond their favoritism to make their actions more impactful.Balance emotional tone: Include moments of hope or progress for Alexis to counterbalance the heavy focus on neglect.Streamline descriptions: Simplify sentences and focus on what drives the narrative forward.Flesh out Diamond's character arc: Show whether she's capable of change or remorse as the story progresses.Incorporate Alexis' singing aspirations earlier: Highlight her steps toward achieving her dreams to give readers more to root for.

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