Reviewed by: HuntedAcolyte

Book Title: Age of POWERS

Author's name: Lityo23

This will be a spoiler free review.

Title: 4/10
The title, while eye-catching, doesn't fully captivate or draw the reader in. "Age of POWERS" feels somewhat generic and could benefit from refinement or expansion. Adding more depth or specificity could make it more compelling. For example, a title like The Age of Power: Growing Darkness or The Age of Power in a Shrouded World might evoke a stronger sense of intrigue and better reflect the story's tone and themes.

Cover: 3/10
Unfortunately, the cover needs significant improvement. It lacks the vibrant colors or striking visuals necessary to grab a reader's attention, and the details are hard to discern without focused effort. This is particularly disappointing given the quality of the artwork featured within the chapters. Don't hesitate to use tools like AI to create eye-catching, visually dynamic covers that draw readers in.

The saying, "Don't judge a book by its cover," doesn't apply to books—readers often make their first decision based on the cover alone. Studies show that over 70% of readers admit to choosing a book primarily because of its cover design. This makes the cover an essential marketing tool and often the biggest selling point for your book. A captivating cover can be the difference between a potential reader picking up your book or moving on to the next.

Blurb: 1/10
The blurb is the second most critical element of your book, acting as a key selling point, much like a trailer is for a movie. It should provide a concise yet engaging summary of the overall plot that hooks the reader's interest. Unfortunately, the single sentence currently doesn't do justice to your story. A compelling blurb should be 4–6 sentences long, offering enough detail to intrigue potential readers while leaving them eager to dive into the book.

Overall Plot: 4/10
The overall plot of your story is undeniably enticing—a great evil threatening to destroy the universe by spreading chaos and destruction is a fantastic premise. However, the execution feels overwhelming. There are too many plot threads happening simultaneously: friends turning into rivals, ancient evils rising one after another, battles raging, and armies clashing. It's a lot to process and can leave the reader struggling to stay engaged. I suggest narrowing the focus to the great evil and the ally-turned-enemy subplot, which was the most compelling part of your story.

What also detracted from the story was the lack of character progression. Instead of showing Rei's growth, you tell it. We don't see her struggle, her training, or how she achieves her transformations. Time skips are frequent, and suddenly she has advanced significantly without any explanation or buildup. For example, the moment she gains the ability to summon alternate versions of herself from other universes comes out of nowhere and feels unearned. This approach risks losing your readers, as it skips the most engaging part of the story—the hero's journey. Take your time with Rei's development. Show her struggling, learning, and overcoming challenges. Let readers feel her growth and invest in her journey.

Another issue was the setting, which felt unclear and disjointed. Characters jump between universes so often that it's difficult to keep track of where the story is taking place. Condensing the locations to a handful of significant ones would help ground the narrative. For example, you could focus on an Earth-like planet as Rei's home or even make it Earth itself. The key is to make readers care about the universe being threatened. Why is it worth saving? If the setting is constantly changing, it's hard to build that emotional connection.

Time also feels meaningless in the story. The universe is under immediate threat, but Rei takes years to train, even disappearing mid-fight for several years before returning stronger. This undermines the urgency of the conflict. Time should be critical and limited—it raises the stakes and makes the reader more invested in the heroes' success. Compressing the timeline and emphasizing the urgency of the threat will create a more intense and engaging narrative.

In summary, simplify the plot, focus on Rei's journey, clarify the setting, and treat time as a valuable and pressing resource. These changes will help make your story more cohesive, impactful, and memorable.

Pacing: 3/10
The overall pacing of the story needs significant improvement. Many chapters are far too short, resembling the length of prologues or author's notes, with only a few reaching an appropriate length. Additionally, the narrative often feels like you're recounting events to a friend rather than immersing the reader in the story. To strengthen your storytelling, consider following the golden rule of narrative: address the Who, What, When, Where, How, and Why. The story currently lacks a clear setting and overall structure, which can make it difficult for readers to stay engaged.

Characters achieve their goals too easily, often through time skips that are simply stated to the reader. Instead of saying, "Eight years later, they achieved transformation," show those eight years. Depict the struggles, the pain, and the growth required to reach that transformation. Readers connect with characters through their journey, not just the end result. Remember the principle of "show, don't tell"—let readers experience the story alongside the characters.

For pacing, aim for chapters between 500–1,200 words for short stories and 2,000–4,000 words for novels. This will give the narrative more depth and room to breathe. Additionally, the story relies too heavily on narration, which can make it feel static and less dynamic. For example, the alien races introduced are said to have existed for over 30 billion years, defending millions of galaxies and universes. This scale feels excessive and difficult to grasp. Considering that our own universe is roughly 14 billion years old, reducing the timeline to several tens of thousands of years—and narrowing the scope to one galaxy or even a single universe—would make the story more relatable and easier to follow.

Similarly, you've introduced chaos creatures, but their purpose and threat level are unclear. Why are they dangerous? What do they do? Without this context, it's hard for readers to feel the stakes. The narrative also jumps around too much, which makes it confusing to follow. I recommend narrowing the focus to a small cast of key characters, one or two central antagonistic factions, and a more contained timeline and setting. This approach will allow the story to flow more smoothly and make it easier for readers to connect with both the plot and the characters.

Writing Style: 3/10
While your creativity is evident and impressive, your story currently lacks a cohesive setting, which is essential for grounding readers in the narrative. The chapters are quite short, and the story feels more like an overview of events and powers rather than an immersive experience. This makes it difficult to get emotionally invested because it comes across as the author explaining the story rather than inviting the reader into it.

To create a strong narrative, you need to establish clear settings. Where is the story taking place? When is it happening? Are we on Earth, another planet, or in a completely different dimension? Is it set in the past, present, or future? These details are crucial for helping readers understand and visualize the world you've built.

Additionally, the dangers in your story need more depth and emphasis. Right now, they are mentioned briefly and then quickly brushed aside, leaving the reader unclear about who the villain is, what the stakes are, or even who the characters truly are.

For a successful narrative story, focus on the following foundations:

Setting: Provide vivid descriptions of where and when the story unfolds. Use sensory details to bring the environment to life and establish a sense of place. Characters: Develop your characters with depth. Show their motivations, flaws, and personalities. Readers should feel like they know and care about them. Conflict and Stakes: Clearly define the central conflict and what's at stake. Who or what opposes the protagonists? What are the immediate and overarching dangers? Why should readers care? Show, Don't Tell: Instead of explaining events, powers, or factions directly to the reader, weave these elements naturally into the story through character actions, dialogue, and world-building details.

Your ability to create is remarkable, as evidenced by the number of stories you've written, and your creativity is undeniable. However, this style of writing is better suited for a story index, where you explain the various factions, worlds, and powers. For a narrative story to succeed, it needs to draw the reader in with immersive settings, compelling characters, and a sense of danger that keeps them invested in the journey.

Creativity: 6/10
You have the foundation of a fantastic story, but it needs significant refinement to address the issues I've mentioned. The universe you've created is undeniably rich, even with the limited details you've provided so far. I suggest taking more time to flesh it out and streamline its scope. Right now, it feels too vast and complex to follow, which can overwhelm readers.

Additionally, the early chapters are far too short, coming across more as character introductions than fully developed narrative segments. At times, your writing transitions into what feels like story notes with their own titles, as if you were rushing to reach the conclusion. This detracts from the depth and pacing of your story.

Take your time with the narrative. Crafting a compelling story often requires patience and dedication. My own book took five years to write and develop, and even now, I continue to find ways to improve it. Allow yourself the time to explore your universe, develop your characters, and let the story unfold naturally. With careful attention and effort, your story has the potential to become truly exceptional.

Characters: 4/10
Your characters seem intriguing and have the potential to be truly engaging, but I say "seem" because I don't actually know much about them. The only character I remember is Rei, and that's mainly because the story focuses heavily on her. However, even with Rei, you don't take the time to let her just be—to sit down, reflect, or interact with others in a way that reveals who she truly is. Instead, the narrative is constantly telling us what's happening or what she's doing, including her training, but it's not presented in a way that allows us to connect with her on a deeper level.

The same goes for her friends, the villain, the chaos creatures, and even the storm guardian. I don't know anything meaningful about them. A great story needs a memorable and well-developed villain. Consider iconic stories like Alice in Wonderland, Star Wars, or Star Trek. Their villains—Darth Vader, the Red Queen, Khan—are so well-written that they often leave a stronger impression than the heroes. You need to flesh out your villain just as much as your protagonist.

Similarly, Rei feels underdeveloped despite being the central character. What are her characteristics, her dreams, her likes and dislikes? What are her bad habits and her greatest attributes? These are the questions your story needs to answer to make her relatable and compelling. Right now, all I know about Rei is that she has cool abilities, but that's not enough to make me care about her journey. Take the time to put yourself in her shoes. What does her day-to-day life look like? How does she feel about the challenges she faces? These details make a character come alive.

The story also suffers from an imbalance: you include too much content but provide too little depth. To compare, your story spans like an ocean, yet its narrative depth feels as shallow as a pond. Remember the saying, quality over quantity. It's better to focus on a handful of well-developed characters and settings than to scatter your efforts across multiple universes. Take the time to build your characters and the world they inhabit, and your story will resonate much more powerfully with readers.

Character Development: 3/10
Character development in your story feels sparse. Your characters remain largely the same as they were at the start, with their abilities being the only aspect that evolves. A fantastic example of meaningful character development can be found in Prince Zuko from Avatar: The Last Airbender. Over the course of the series, Zuko undergoes a profound transformation—from an honor-obsessed prince relentlessly pursuing the Avatar to a humble outsider who seeks the Avatar's help. His decision to defy his father and abandon the dream he had chased for so long is rooted in his realization that it was ultimately hollow. That is the kind of depth and growth that makes a character truly memorable.

I'll give you credit where it's due—your characters do struggle, and that's a good start. But you need to take the time to flesh them out fully. As I've mentioned before, let your characters breathe and reveal who they are through their actions, thoughts, and interactions with others. This goes for your villains too. Consider telling parts of the story from their perspective. Show their motivations, struggles, and why they've chosen the paths they have. A well-rounded villain can elevate your narrative significantly.

Right now, your story reads like a synopsis narrated from a distance, rather than an immersive experience. It reminds me of the scene in Parks and Recreation where Andy humorously summarizes the entire plot of Rocky and other movies. While entertaining in a comedic setting, this style of storytelling doesn't allow readers to connect with the characters or the world.

Expand your chapters. Build the settings and let readers experience the story through your characters in the present moment. Show the passage of time—day to day, week to week, and eventually years if necessary. Let the struggles of training and the need to become stronger unfold naturally. Depict the devastation wrought by the chaos creatures and how the ancient ones are involved. These details not only immerse readers but also create opportunities for characters to grow and evolve organically.

Take the time to delve deeper, and your story will transform from a summary of events into an unforgettable journey for your readers.

Grammar: 5/10
Your story would greatly benefit from a thorough proofreading. Grammar errors, misspellings, and run-on sentences are prevalent throughout your chapters, and addressing these issues will significantly enhance readability and overall quality.

Total Score: 36/100

Overall Enjoyment: 5/10
Overall, I found it difficult to fully invest in your story. As I've already explained, there are several reasons for this, which also contributed to the length of time it took me to complete this review. I often had to pause and take breaks because the pacing felt rushed, and so much was skimmed over. That said, it's clear that you are a very creative writer. The sheer number of stories you've published is impressive and reflects your passion and drive. I'm still in the early stages of my second book, and seeing how prolific you've been is truly inspiring.

However, this creativity needs to be balanced with a more deliberate approach to your storytelling. Your story feels rushed, as though you went with the first idea that came to mind without refining or fully developing it. Take your time—time is essential when it comes to world-building, fleshing out characters, and creating a rich, immersive setting. While I enjoyed certain aspects of your book, the rapid pacing and rushed action made it difficult to connect with the narrative as a whole.

Slowing down and giving more attention to detail will allow your story to reach its full potential, creating a more engaging and memorable experience for your readers.

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