Trigger Warning:

This story and chapter will tackle religious beliefs that may be sensitive to other readers. You can stop from here and read something else. Please understand that this is a work of fiction. Any references to real people, places, organizations and events are intended to provide sense of authenticity and are used fictitiously. All incidents and dialogues came from the author's imagination and not be construed as real. Any similarity to real life is purely coincidental.

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You are what believe yourself to be – Paulo Coelho

THE ROZOVSKY HEIRS 9 | DANIEL GONZALO

CHAPTER ONE | BELIEF

DANNY

"What's the occasion?"

Iyon ang bungad ko kay Kuya Damien nang sagutin ang tawag ko. Naka-receive ako ng text kay Mommy na kailangan kong pumunta ngayong dinner sa bahay namin. Dapat ay nasa Play Space ako. It was a big night tonight. New models would be introduced from the members of my sex club. A bidding would be held and those Russian girls would be taken home by some of my lucky members tonight.

And I needed to be there. I needed to see how my club was getting famous. How those animals would become rabid just by bidding those women. I wanted to see how they spend their hard-earned money in my club. I didn't want to miss that part.

But I couldn't say no to my Mom.

"Mom wanted us to be here. There will be visitors too." Damang-dama ko ang saya sa boses ni Kuya Damien. Hindi pa ba naman sasaya ang kapatid kong ito, kakatapos lang ng kasal nila ni Peyton two months ago. Kakauwi lang last week mula sa walang tigil na travel around the world. Kinailangan nga lang nilang umuwi dahil buntis na si Peyton. Ni-require na ng doctor na mag-bedrest.

"Visitors? Sino? And I need to be there? You know how busy I am," reklamo ko habang naglalakad palabas ng office ko. Nakita ko si Griffin na kakatapos lang magta-tattoo ng isang client at alam kong huli na niya iyon ngayon araw. Sinenyasan ko siyang hintayin ako.

"You know you cannot say no to Mom," magiliw pa rin ang boses ni Kuya. Naririnig ko pang sinasaway ang mga anak niya.

"But I need to be in my club," hininaan ko pa ang boses ko dahil pakiramdam ko makakatikim ako ng pingot kapag narinig ito ni Mommy.

"Sorry, bro. You need to be here. Do you need to choose? Your club or Mom?" Tumawa siya ng nakakaloko. "It's like choosing between food or water."

"Funny." Asar kong sabi at tumawa nang nakakaasar. "Fine. I'll be there. But would you know who are Mom's visitors? Mamaya 'yong mga taga-orphanage na naman 'yan. Alam mo naman ang mga madre na 'yon parang gulat na gulat kapag nakikita ang mga tattoos natin. Laging parang mga naeeskandalo."

Tuluyan nang natawa si Kuya Damien. "Hindi ka pa ba nasanay? But, I don't know. Mom said it's a surprise. See you, bro. The twins are missing you already."

Doon na ako napangiti. "Tell them I have gifts for them. All right, see you."

Napabuga ako ng hangin nang matapos kaming mag-usap ni Kuya. Nagtatanong ang tingin sa akin ni Griffin dahil hindi ko siya pinaalis agad.

"What's up?" Tinapunan pa ng tingin ni Griffin ang dumaan na client niya at kumaway dito. "Anything wrong?"

Natawa ako. "Anything wrong ka diyan. Just going to ask you if you are good here? Are you enjoying your stay?"

Lumiwanag ang mukha ni Griffin. "Am I enjoying my stay here? In Play Space? Are you sure you're going to ask me that? Of course, I love it here. Free membership in this expensive place. Free fucks everywhere," kumindat pa sa akin si Griffin. "I am living the life, bro."

Inakbayan ko si Griffin. "Well, I am glad you love it. How about going with me and meeting my Mom?"

Agad na lumayo sa akin si Griffin na nanlalaki ang mata. "Your Mom? Mrs. Sofia Rozovsky? And your dad will be there? Fuck no."

"Bakit naman?" Natatawa ako. "Hindi mo pa na-get over ang crush mo kay Mommy?" Nakita kong namula ang mukha ni Griffin. Alam ko naman kasi na matindi ang crush nito sa mommy ko nang makita niya sa mga pictures. Nang makita sa personal si Mom nang one time na dumalaw sa Russia, akala ko ay naging rebulto na si Griffin. Hindi na nakagalaw habang nakatingin lang kay Mommy. "Sa totoo lang, ikaw lang ang hindi nabugbog sa lahat ng mga may crush kay Mom. And don't worry. I won't tell my Dad."

"Fuck you, Danny." Halatang napipikon si Griffin. "I am over your Mom. And it's just a fucking crush."

Ang lakas ng halakhak ko. "Bakit nagba-blush ka? 'Tangina mo, Griff. Hindi bagay sa'yo ang magkulay tae." Pang-aasar ko pa tapos ay muli siyang inakbayan. "Dude, come on. It's cool. Gusto ko lang na may kasama kapag umuwi ako kina Mommy. You're my new wingman. I cannot rely on my brother anymore. Masyado nang baliw iyon kay Peyton."

Halatang kinakabahan pa rin si Griffin. "But your Dad. Baka patayin ako ng daddy mo."

Pinigil ko ang matawa. "I'll zip my mouth." Nagmuwestra pa ako na isinara kong parang zipper ang bibig ko.

Kahit ayaw talaga ni Griffin na sumama sa akin ay wala siyang nagawa nang bitbitin ko siya pauwi. Pagdating namin sa bahay nila Mommy ay may mga nakaparada nang kotse doon. Mukhang maraming bisita si Mommy. Bakit hindi naman nabanggit sa akin na magkakaroon ng ganitong get together dito sa bahay? Talaga 'tong nanay ko mahilig sa surprise.

Si Masha ang nakita kong nasa may gate at may kausap sa telepono. Hindi malayo dito ay may nakatayong isang lalaki na alam kong bodyguard niya. Kita ko sa mukha ng kapatid ko na pissed off na. Last month kasi ay hindi na pumayag si Dad na wala siyang bodyguard. My only sister has been doing some things that our parents didn't want. Sumusunod sa yapak ni Saryna ang babaeng ito.

"Masha, sino na naman ang kausap mo? Bakit ka nandito?" Iyon agad ang bati ko sa kanya. Maasim lang siyang ngumiti sa akin at tinapunan ng masamang tingin ang bodyguard niya.

"Can you please tell Dad that I don't need a bodyguard?"

"Why don't you tell it yourself?" natatawang sabi ko. Kinawayan ko pa ang bodyguard at bumati naman sa akin. "It's your fault, baby sister. Kung hindi ka ba naman nagwawala, 'di hindi ka bibigyan ng extra baggage ni Dad."

"I am twenty-two! Too fucking old to have a bodyguard and too fucking old to be treated like a kid," reklamo pa rin nito. Si Griffin ay natatawa na lang din at napapakamot ng ulo sa nakikita naming pagta-tantrums ni Masha.

"If you keep on acting like that, trust me, Dad won't give you your freedom. We'll get inside," iyon na lang ang nasabi ko sa kapatid ko.

Nakasimangot pa rin ang mukha ni Masha tapos ay sinamaan ng tingin ang bodyguard niya. Pagdating namin sa loob ay naramdaman kong hindi tumuloy ng lakad si Griffin kaya nilingon ko siya.

"Bakit?" Taka ko.

Nakatingin lang siya sa Mommy ko habang kausap nito ang Daddy ko.

"I think I am going to die tonight." Kita ko ang kaba sa mukha ni Griffin.

Natawa ako. Sigurado akong dahil nakita nito si Daddy.

"Fuck you, you look like a scared clown." Inakbayan ko na si Griffin at deretso kaming lumapit kina Daddy. "Mom. Dad."

Agad naman na tumingin sa gawi namin ang magulang ko ngumiti nang makita ako. Yumakap sa akin si Mom tapos ay tumingin kay Griffin.

"You are Griffin, right? The one responsible for the artworks on my sons' body?" Paniniguro ni Mommy. Ang hitsura ni Griffin ay parang natuka ng ahas na titig na titig kay Mommy. Agad naman na lumapit si Dad at ipinulupot ang kamay sa baywang ni Mom.

"G-good evening, Mrs. Rozovsky. Mr. Rozovsky. S-Sir." Ang hitsura ni Griffin ay mukhang hihimatayin na sa harap ng magulang ko kaya tawang-tawa na ako. "S-Sir... Ma'am... t-they want to have tattoos... I mean, I am just the tattoo artist and..."

Sumenyas si Dad kay Griff na tumahimik pero seryoso ang mukha. "Their body, their choice. You don't need to explain." Bumulong si Mom kay Dad tapos ay nagpaalam na sa amin. Naiwan kaming tatlo doon. Ngayon ay halatang nagpipigil nang matawa si Dad pero seryoso pa ding nakatingin kay Griffin. "I know how you look at my wife, Griffin. Just to let you know, you can ask my son what I do to those who tried to look at my wife."

Lalo nang natakot si Griffin kaya napahalakhak na ako at umakbay sa kanya.

"My Dad is just fucking with you. We're cool. Let's go," halatang gusto pang magpaliwanag ni Griffin kay Dad pero hinila ko na papunta sa likod. At nang makarating kami doon, nakita ko na maraming bisita ang mommy ko.

This was not a simple get together.

This was a big party.

Uncle Patek and his family was here. Same as Uncle Pavel's family. Tita Ilyenna and Uncle Lev. Uncle Jed too and his family. What the hell was this? A reunion?

"This is not just a dinner, Danny." Bulong ni Griffin sa akin. "This is fucking huge party."

"I can see that too," mahina ding sagot ko. Agad kong hinanap si Kuya Damien at nakita ko siyang nasa isang mesa at katabi si Peyton. Naroon din ang kambal at pinapakain ni Pey. Hindi ko maiwasan na hindi mapangiti. At least, after how many years these two still found their happiness with each other.

"Danny!" Si Uncle Patek ang tumawag sa akin at ngiting-ngiti na sinenyasan akong lumapit sa table nila. Sinunod ko naman para bumati. Yumakap ako kay Uncle Pats at humalik sa pisngi ni Auntie Kat. Naroon din ang mga anak nila. Si Antoinette Nicole at ang magkasunod na si Noel at Liam. Sa mga ito, si Antoinette na nakasanayan naming tawaging Tonie ang panganay. Like me, she was the hard headed eldest of Uncle Pats and Auntie Kat. Like me, sakit din ng ulo ng mga magulang. Maagang natutong magbisyo. Alak. Sigarilyo. Drugs. Barkada. Grades flunking just like me. I remember how Uncle Pats always tells dad that Tonie was giving him a hard time. I still remember when I last saw her before I went to Russia. The nose and brow piercings. Rumor has it that she also has nipple piercings and clit piercing. The punk-ass pink hair, black lipstick, and racoon-style eye make-up. Plus, her skimpy clothes. She always wore her black crop top, leather mini-skirt, black stockings and and Doc Martens boots.

But right now, I didn't see that wild girl anymore. In front of me was totally different from the Tonie that I knew five years ago. The Tonie in front of me was quiet. Timid. No skimpy clothes but long white dress with long long sleeves and turtle neck. Her body was totally clothed. No dark eye make-up. No piercings. The total opposite of the wild child of Uncle Patek. What the fuck happened to her? Nakatapak bai to ng nuno sa punso kaya nagbago?

"And look at you, young man. You are full of..." unti-unting nawawala ang ngiti ni Uncle Patek habang tinitingnan ako tapos sa tabi ko si Griffin. Pareho kaming punong-puno ng tattoos ang katawan kahit na nga nakabihis kami ng disente. Ang tattoos ko ay kita hanggang leeg ko. Sa braso ko. Mas marami pa sa itinatago ng mga damit ko. Tingin ko, kahit nagkikita kami ni Uncle Patek, hindi siya masanay na maraming tinta sa buong katawan ko.

"Tattoos," ako na ang nagtapos ng sasabihin ni Uncle.

"That's art." Si Auntie Kat na ang nagsabi noon. "Tattoos are art."

"No. Tattoos are work of the devil."

Pare-pareho kaming napatingin sa nagsalita noon. Hindi man nakatingin sa amin, alam kong si Tonie ang nagsalita noon.

"Tonie," tonong nananaway si Uncle Pat at humihingi ng pasensiyang tumingin sa amin.

Doon tumingin sa gawi namin si Tonie. At kita ko sa mga mata niya na hindi siya natutuwa sa nakikita niya sa amin ni Griffin.

"Leviticus chapter nineteen. Verse twenty-eight," seryosong-seryoso ang mukha ni Tonie. "You are not to make gashes on your bodies for the dead. Or put tattoo marks on yourselves. I am the Lord." She looked at us with full of disdain. "Tattoos are work of the devil. You two are spawns of the devil."

"Tonie, enough." Saway ni Uncle Pat. Nakita kong naitakip ni Auntie Kat ang kamay sa mukha na hitsurang nahihiya. Ang dalawang kapatid ni Tonie ay nagtatawanan.

Alam kong gustong-gustong sumagot ni Griffin pero pinigilan ko na lang. As a tattoo artist, I knew how Griffin would like to defend his art. He had been living like this the moment he started to became a tattoo artist. Kahit naman ako. Ganoon din. People see tattooed people in a different way. Madumi. Masamang tao. Hindi makakarating sa langit. Laging negative ang tingin sa mga taong may tattoos. But I never imagined that those words would come from Tonie. From someone I thought was part of our family.

Marami pang sinasabi si Tonie pero pinatayo na ito ni Uncle Pat at pinaalis doon. Sinundan lang namin ng tingin ang mag-ama tapos ay nakita kong naiiling-iling si Auntie Kat at hitsurag problemado.

"Danny, I am so sorry about that. Sometimes, my daughter is getting out of place." hingi ng paumanhin ni Auntie Kat.

"Nothing to worry, Auntie. We're cool. Punta muna kami kina Dad." Magkasunod kami ni Griffin na pumunta sa mesa nila Daddy. Kahit alam kong asiwa ang kaibigan ko doon, mas gusto na niyang kasama dito kaysa makaharap uli si Tonie. Hindi naman kami pansin nila Dad dahil busy ito sa pakikipag-kuwentuhan kay Uncle Patek. Kami ni Griffin ay inabala ang sarili sa pagkain at pag-inom.

Unti-unti naman ay nagiging palagay na si Griffin sa mga tao sa paligid. Nagiging at ease na siya kasama si Mom at Dad. Minsan-minsan ay lumalapit sa gawi namin si Kuya Damien pero hindi maiwasan nang matagal na hindi kasama si Peyton. Dumating si Daci na naka-uniform pa. He was on his police training. My damn brother wanted to be a police officer even if our father was totally against it. Nalaman na lang namin na kumuha na ng exam at nakapasa na. Si Noah ang tumulong. Wala nang magawa si Daddy at Mommy. Nang tumingin ako sa gawi ng mesa nila Uncle Pat, naroon na uli si Tonie at tahimik lang na nakaupo pero halatang hindi gusto ang nangyayari sa paligid.

"Dad," umurong pa ako palapit sa kanya. "What's the deal with Tonie?"

Tiningnan din ni Daddy si Tonie tapos ay natawa. "Possessed."

Nanlalaki ang matang napatingin ako sa kanya. "For real?"

"Of course not." Umayos siya ng upo at nagsalin ng alak sa baso ko. "More of like brainwashed."

Nangungunot ang noo kong kong nakatingin lang sa kanya. Napahinga siya ng malalim at seryoso nang tumingin sa akin.

"She changed her religion. She joined this sect and after she became like that."

"Religion? Sect? And Uncle Pats allowed it?" Naguguluhang tanong ko. "I thought Uncle Pats is a diehard Catholic?"

"If you became a parent, you will get soft. You will do and accept everything so your kids won't go away. Tonie was a wild child. Like you," natatawang tumingin sa akin si Dad. "And Patek and Katerina did everything so they won't lose her to her wild friends. To his wild ways of living. But they couldn't do anything about it. Matigas ang ulo. Tulad mo. When they were about to give up, she went home totally different. Telling them about the bible. Telling them she found her calling. Saying verses from that book. I mean, from being a wild child to becoming a bible person real quick? That was a big character development. And she came back to her family. That what only matters to Patek and Kat. They learned that Tonie joined a new religion. Ways of the Cross of Christ something and the leader is Tonie's new boyfriend."

"Oh," iyon lang ang nasabi ko at muling napatingin sa gawi ni Tonie. Now she was looking at me. No. Glaring was the right word. She was not really happy to see me and Griffin with tattoos all over our body.

I wanted to confront her. Bakit kami lang ni Griffin ang pinag-iinitan niya? Puro tattoos din naman si Kuya Damien.

"We already did a background check to that religion and to its leader. All came clean. Iyon nga lang, they are all hardcore believers of their church and sometimes their beliefs already disrupt their normal ways of living. They are becoming provocative. It's like their way or no way."

Natawa ako. "That's not a religion, Dad. That's a cult."

"Try to tell it to her and she will fight you to death. Don't you think your Uncle Patek didn't say that?" Tumingin ng makahulugan sa akin si Daddy. "But as long as Tonie is not cutting ties with her parents, your Uncle Pat is okay with that. At least nagbago daw si Tonie."

"Nagbago nga, naging parte naman ng kulto. Hindi kaya mas masakit sa ulo 'yan?" Natatawa pang sabi ko at ininom na ang hawak kong baso. Nang muli akong tumingin sa gawi ni Tonie ay nakapikit na ito at hitsurang nagdadasal. Napapangiwi ako. What the hell happened to her?

Well, if that was her, I would let her believe whatever she wanted to believe.

After all, we all have our own views that would help us live in this world as long as we respect each other's beliefs. 

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