Nothing ever becomes real till it is experienced – John Keats

CHAPTER TWENTY- EIGHT | NOT YOUR BARBIE GIRL

SOFIA

Hindi ako nakapagsalita at sinundan lang ng tingin si Stas na lumabas ng silid. Napahawak ako sa dibdib ko at gulat na gulat pa rin sa inaakto niya. What the hell was his problem? Why was he mad? Ano ang masama kung dumating ako ng naka-Grab car? Natural iyon ang sasakyan ko. Wala naman akong sariling kotse dito dahil ayaw ko din naman magkaroon since na hindi naman ako madalas na umaalis. Tapos lagi pang may nakasunod na bodyguard sa akin. Mabuti nga kanina napilit ko si Daddy na isabay na si Oleg at pabayaan akong pumunta sa kasal na mag-isa.

I was getting married. I was about to be imprisoned in this loveless and cruel relationship. So, kahit siguro sampung minutong panahon para sa sarili ko bago ako makulong sa pagsasamang ito ay sasamantalahin ko na.

Wala naman akong ibang pinuntahan kundi ang simbahan. Nagdasal ako. Sobrang taimtim na kulang na nga lang ay lumakad ako ng paluhod hanggang sa altar. I was asking God to give me enough strength to win over this battle. To let me have the ultimate revenge against Stanislav Rykov. I was risking everything. My freedom, my life, my love. I gave that all up just to get the revenge for my parents.

And now that we were married, he was mad at me? Because I took a fucking Grab to our wedding? Baliw talaga ang isang iyon.

Sinamaan ko na lang ng tingin ang pintong dinaanan niya at inis na hinubad ang suot kong damit na ipinahiram ng nanay niya. Hindi man lang niya na-appreciate na sinuot ko ang damit ng nanay niya. Ang ganda-ganda ko kaya ngayon. Nag-effort akong mag-ayos at siniguro kong hindi siya mapapahiya sa mga bisita nila na hindi pangit ang mapapangawa niya tapos ganoon pa ang arte niya? What a fucking moron!

Dumeretso ako sa banyo at naligo. Nang lumabas ako sa shower at humarap sa salamin ay napatingin ako sa mga nakapatong sa lamesitang naroon. Complete set of skin care. Tumaas ang kilay ko at kinuha ang isa. Nabasa kong Obagi ang tatak at complete set iyon. Wow. Alam ko ang isang set ng ganito ay umaabot ng fifty thousand pesos. Ang arte naman ng lalaking iyon. Kaya naman pala walang pores sa mukha kasi mas matindi pa ang skin regimen sa akin. Samantalang ako ay moisturizer at sun screen lang okay na.

Nagtapi lang ako ng tuwalya at lumabas ng banyo. Tumingin ako sa paligid at doon ako nag-isip. Wala akong damit. Hindi ko naman alam na sa ganito kami dederetso. Akala ko ay may chance pa akong bumalik sa unit ko para mag-impake ng mga gamit ko. Tinungo ko ang cabinet na naroon at binuksan. Napa-wow ako nang makita ang nasa loob. Kumpletong mga gamit at damit ng babae ang naroon. Dresses, casual wear, shoes, under wears. Kumuha ako ng isang panty at iniladlad iyon. The fuck. I knew thong panties, I wore these sometimes, pero nang tingnan ko ang mga panty na naroon, walang regular panties. Lahat puro thongs.

Jesus! Anong palagay sa akin ni Stas, kakapiranggot ang nasa pagitan ng hita ko?

Inis kong ibinalik ang panty sa lalagyan at naghanap ng maisusuot na pantulog. Pagdating naman sa pantulog, wala namang mga pajamas, o kahit sana short-shorts or kahit boyleg panties na kumportable kong isinusuot sa pagtulog. Ang mga narito ay puro nighties. And these were not just ordinary nighties. They were almost naked nighties. Puro lace na lang ang tatabing sa katawan ko kung isusuot ko 'to.

Naihilamos ko ang kamay sa mukha ko. What the hell am I going to wear? Napapailing, humugot na lang ako ng isang itim na nighties at dahil no choice din ako sa panty, nagtiyaga akong magsuot ng thongs. Naghanap ako ng robe para maipatong ko dito dahil ayaw ko naman na makita ako ni Stas na ganito ang hitsura ko. After what happened ni Romblon, I am going to make sure that it won't happen again.

Napakunot ang noo ko nang makarinig ako ng paparating na sasakyan. Lumapit ako sa bintana at sumilip doon at nakita kong mayroon ngang sasakyan na dumating. And who could this be? Si Patek kaya para mag-report sa boss niya? Nakasilip pa rin ako at nag-aabang kung sino ang bababa sa sasakyan at napataas ang kilay ko nang makilala ang babaeng pulang-pula ang suot na damit na nangingibabaw kanina sa kasal namin.

Bitch na bitch talaga ang hitsura ni Ilyenna. And she also knew this place? Talaga bang alam niya ang lahat ng tungkol sa buhay ni Stas? Nakakainis na ang babaeng ito. Masyado siyang mapapel. At lalong nakakainis na talagang nakapula pa siya kanina. Mang-aagaw ng eksena.

Nakita kong nakangiti agad si Ilyenna nang makababa ng sasakyan. May dala itong kahon at kandahaba ang leeg ko nang salubungin siya ng isang staff. Sinasabi ni Ilyenna na hinahanap niya si Stas. Dali-dali akong lumabas ng kuwarto at patakbong bumaba pero agad din na napahinto at nagtago nang makita kong nakatayo sa may sala si Ilyenna at kaharap na si Stas. And he welcomed that bitch without any clothes on. Hitsurang ibinabalandra ang katawan niya sa babaeng iyon.

"My guess was right that you are going to bring her here," nakangiting sabi ni Ilyenna.

"And what are you doing here?" Seryosong tanong ni Stas.

Lalong lumapad ang ngiti ni Ilyenna at nakikita kong taas-baba ang tingin ng babaeng iyon sa katawan ni Stas. Parang nakakita ng nakakatakam na pagkain. Ang bitch lang niya talaga.

"I want to personally give you this gift. I mean this is for you." Iniabot nito ang isang kahon kay Stas.

Napaawang ang bibig ko. What? Dalawa kami ni Stas na ikinasal tapos si Stas lang ang may regalo? This woman has been testing my patience since the moment I met her.

"What is this?" Tanong ng magaling kong asawa.

Tumawa ng malandi si Ilyenna. "Open it."

Binuksan naman iyon ni Stas at kandahaba ang leeg ko para makita ang laman noon. Ano 'yon? Mga packets. Small boxes. Wait. Packets and small boxes. Wait... I knew that logo.

The black and gold packaging. Trojan Magnum.

"I bought many. I know you don't have your size sa mga local brands. I know you are going to need that and I chose the XL size. I know it fits you well." Nakangiti pang sabi ni Ilyenna.

Condoms? Fucking condoms? Ilyenna gifted my husband fucking condoms?

I was expecting Stas to reject her gift. But instead, I found him checking it one by one and all he could say was 'oh.'

"Congratulations on your wedding." Napahinga ng malalim si Ilyenna at ngayon ay kita ko na ang pagkapeke ng ngiti niya. "Use it, Stas. You know how I protected you from those women who wanted to get a hold of you. I am used to take away those trash. And we both know she is just the same as them. You cannot trust that woman. You cannot make her pregnant."

What? What a fucking bitch. Gusto ko na talagang lumabas sa pinagtataguan ko at sugurin ang babaeng iyon. Ang kapal ng mukha niya. I am not like those women. I am not a whore. Pinakasalan ako ni Stas.

"I know," maikling sagot ni Stas na nanatiling nakatingin sa hawak na kahon.

And that answer put me back into my senses. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit pakiramdam ko ay may kumurot sa dibdib ko. For him, I was just like those women that he fucked?

What would you expect? He doesn't love you. You are married to him because your family needed each other. You are just using each other. Huwag kang ilusyunada, Sofia. Remember the reason why you married that asshole.

Iyon ang tila sermon ng utak ko sa akin.

"Stas," nakita kong hinawakan pa ni Ilyenna ang kamay ni Stas. "You know I will be always here for you. Whatever happens, I will stay with you."

Hindi kumibo si Stas at tumango lang. "Good night, Ilyenna. Thank you for your gift. You can go."

Halatang ayaw pang umalis ni Ilyenna pero halata ring gusto na siyang itaboy ni Stas. Humalik siya sa pisngi ni Stas at dahan-dahang umalis na doon. Nakita kong nakatingin pa rin si Stas sa kahon at lumakad. Dali-dali akong umalis sa puwesto ko pabalik sa kuwarto pero agad din na huminto. Tumingin ako sa ibang mga silid na naroon at ilang pinto pa ang nakita ko. Papalit-palit ang tingin ko sa pinto ng silid at ibang pinto doon. Napatiim-bagang ako at dumeretso ako sa ibang silid at pumasok.

Dito ako matutulog. Bahala ang Stas na iyon na katabing matulog ang mga condoms niya.

Nahiga ako sa kama at ngayon ako nakaramdam ng lungkot. Weddings were supposed to be a happy day. A special day for a woman like me. I always dreamed of myself walking down a long aisle, wearing a princess like gown with a long trail and a long veil. And my prince charming would be waiting for me at end of the altar. Smiling at me. Crying while waiting for me to come and hold his hand. And when the ceremony was finished, he was going to lift the veil and will kiss me passionately and from those kisses I would feel that I am the happiest and the luckiest woman in the world.

But what happened today was the total opposite of that dream. There was no long aisle, no princess like gown, no long trail, no long veil. There was not even a proper kiss. What Stas gave me was a peck on the cheek then he stormed away from me.

There won't be a prince charming for me. Because I am already married to the beast and God knows what kind of life this beast would give me.

But I told myself, even if he was the beast, I am the one who was going to tame and kill that beast.

Napabuga ako ng hangin at ipinikit ang mga mata ko para lang mabulaga nang biglang pagbukas ng pinto at makitang nakatayo doon si Stas na dilim na dilim ang anyo.

"What the hell is your problem?" Inis kong tanong sa kanya.

Nakita kong nagngangalit ang mga bagang ni Stas at inilang hakbang lang ako tapos ay walang sabi-sabing kinuha ako sa kama at ipinasan sa balikat niya.

"Put me down!" Sigaw ko habang nagpapapasag pero ang higpit-higpit ng hawak niya sa akin. Para lang siyang bumuhat ng isang sako ng bigas. Dumeretso siya sa kuwartong pinuntahan namin kanina at pabagsak akong ibinaba sa kama.

"What the hell, Stas?!"

"What the hell?" He said that in between his teeth. His eyes were full of anger looking at me "What are you doing in that room?"

"I am going to sleep. Ano ang gagawin ko doon?" Asar kong sagot.

Lalo nang nag-apoy ang mata ni Stas at talagang galit na galit siya sa akin. Siya pa ang may ganang magalit samantalang siya 'tong nakikipaglandian sa Ilyenna na iyon kahit may asawa na siya.

"You don't do that to me. My staff will talk."

Kumunot ang noo ko. "They will talk? About what?"

"They will talk na kakakasal lang natin tapos hindi tayo tabi matulog. They will talk about us, about our relationship, about our fucking marriage. Huwag mo akong ipinapahiya."

"What? Ipinapahiya? Ikaw? Ipinapahiya kita?" Tumawa ako ng nakakaloko. "Hindi kaya ako ang ipinapahiya mo sa kanila? By entertaining that woman in red on the night of our wedding?"

Hindi nakasagot si Stas at ibinaling sa iba ang tingin.

"They know who is Ilyenna. They know that she works for me." Katwiran niya.

Tumaas ang kilay ko. "Works for you? Kaya pala isang box ng condom ang regalo sa iyo? Wow, gaano kayo ka-intimate ni Ilyenna at pati size mo alam niya?"

Nagtatakang tumingin sa akin si Stas. "Were you listening to us?"

Hindi agad ako nakasagot. "N-no. Bakit ako makikinig sa pinag-uusapan n'yo?"

Ngayon ay nawala na ang bangis ng mukha niya at halatang nagpipigil na mangiti na nakatingin sa akin.

"You heard what she told me. How did you even know that she gifted me condoms? No one knows it but me. Are you stalking me? Inside our house?"

"Of course not! Why will I stalk you? Wala akong pakialam kahit ano ang pag-usapan n'yo ng babaeng iyon. Wala akong pakialam kahit ikaw lang ang binigyan niya ng regalo. And what do you think of me? A prostitute? Like those women that you fucked before that you needed to use condoms? I am not like them. I am clean. I don't have any experience with any men. I am your wife and don't you ever compare me to those whores that you fucked!"

Napa-hmm si Stas at hinawakan nito ang bibig na tila pinipigil ang gustong sabihin. Sinundan ko lang siya ng tingin nang lumakad siya at tinungo ang maliit na mesa na naroon at dinampot ang kahon.

"This is what you saw." Binuksan niya iyon at ibinuhos sa kama ang laman noon. Nagkalat ang napakaraming condoms na naka-packets at naka-box. Puro XL ang size. "Throw it away."

"What? Bakit ako ang magtatapon niyan?" inirapan ko siya. "Huwag mong itapon. Baka magamit mo pa 'yan sa mga babae mo."

"Jesus Christ," mahinang sabi ni Stas at naihilamos ang kamay sa mukha. "You just said you don't want me to use condoms on you. Now I am telling you to throw it away and you still have an issue?"

"What?" Naguguluhan kong tanong sa kanya at nanlalaki ang matang nakatingin sa kanya. "Wait... what?"

Napapailing si Stas at napahinga ng malalim.

"You are such a pain in the ass but I cannot resist you," mahinang sabi niya habang nakatingin sa akin. "You..." itinuro pa niya ako. "You are a fucking temptation," at napabuga siya ng hangin. "Have you seen yourself in the mirror?"

Tiningnan ko ang sarili ko. May mali sa suot ko? Samantalang wala namang ibang mga damit akong pantulog na maisusuot mula sa cabinet dito.

Nang mag-angat ako ng tingin ay nasa harap ko na si Stas. Wala na ang apoy ng galit sa mga mata niya. Ibang klase apoy na ang nakikita ko doon.

"Fuck those condoms, Sofia. Trust me, when I take you, I am going to take you bare. Because you're my wife and you are mine."

I was about to protest when he put his index finger against my lips.

"Shut it. You cannot do anything about tonight. It will happen. You like it or not, you will lose it with me tonight. Whatever you wanted it. Rough, soft. Whatever fucking position you want, I will take what is mine."

Stas face was looking straight into my eyes. His voice was cold and I swallowed hard when I realized he was wearing gray sweatpants, and the bulge between his thighs was screaming back at me.

And just like the size of the condom I saw that Ilyenna gave him, it was really his size.

Extra-large.

I could see how he was proud of his ripped body. The tattoos on his chest and arms were screaming at me. I hated men with tattoos but with him, it blended on his skin so well. It was done artistically. He walked towards me while his gaze was fixed on me. He was looking at me like I was a meal that was denied for him a long time. And suddenly, I am no longer sure if I should be terrified or turned on with the way he was looking at me.

He pulled me closer to him. I could feel his muscle bulge against my body. His warm hand that touched me brought heat down to my core and I felt my throat became dry. But looking at Stas looking at me like I was his favorite meal, I think I needed a gallon of water because of the thirst I was feeling right now. This was the first time a man looked at me like this. Like I was the only thing that matters to him. I wanted to scold myself. Why would I feel heat by the way he was looking at me? I hated this man. I vowed to wreck him and that was all in my head. But my body? Damn my body. It was betraying me. My body was telling me to give in to him. My body was telling me that no other person could ever made me feel more alive but him. My body was telling me that Stas was a dangerous being but still, he could give me the never-ending ecstasy that no other man could give.

The fire in his eyes never left him. He put his hand at the back of my head and kissed me. His lips starting to claim my mouth, bruising to take my breath away. His hand began to caress my arms down to side of my body. Touching the soft delicate fabric of my nighties against my skin. He found the hem of the nighties and suddenly he yanked it against my body. Ripped it until the only thing that left in my body was the tiny thong panties that I wanted to hide from him.

He moved away from me and looked at my almost naked body. The fire in his eyes was burning with so much desire while looking at me. My eyes went down to his gray sweatpants and his damn bulge was bigger this time. It already made a tent in between his thighs. His eyes were feasting at me. Looking at my breasts like he wanted to taste it and drown from it. He pulled me against him and kissed me again hungrily while his hand was now skimming my naked skin. I couldn't explain the heat that pooled right between my thighs. His touch was electrifying. My nipples dragging against his bare skin was sending chills down my core. I hated to admit it but my body was liking this. The savage way he was doing to me. Damn it. My body was liking it.

He pushed me against the bed. The moment my back touched the soft mattress, his body followed against mine. His kisses were demanding. His tongue exploring inside my mouth. A soft moan escaped from me when his mouth trailed down to my neck. I bit my lower lip when his tongue traced slowly to my ear and started to lick it.

"You're stunning..." he whispered in my ear while gently licking it. "You are the prettiest girl I have ever seen..." his tongue was probing against my earlobe. Fuck, that was good. I couldn't contain myself not to let out a moan. "There you are... moan...fucking moan for me," while his tongue was playing in my ear, I felt his hand began to trail in between my thighs. Playing with the tiny cloth that was covering my pussy. A little squirm came out from me when he ripped my panties and his palm immediately covered my pussy. He began massaging it until his finger started to trace my slit up and down.

"Damn, I always love that you are always wet for me."

His mouth was still at my ear breathing heavily against it. His tongue playing against my earlobe while his finger kept on tracing the wetness against my slit. Until he slowly reached for my clit and gently rubbed it. A sudden gasp came out of me while my body was moving against his finger.

"You are loving this, right?" I could feel his finger began to move faster against my clit. His mouth trailed down from my ear down to my neck, down to my breast and licked each of my nipple. Finger still teasing my core while his mouth kept on moving down to my stomach. My breath becomes heavy while I was looking at what he was doing. His eyes catch my gaze until his mouth landed between my thighs.

His finger stopped teasing my clit but his tongue replaced it. "Oh God..." a tiny gasp came out from me while my hips rose to follow the movement of his mouth. I heard him chuckled and rose his head.

"Greedy girl." He was smiling and I could see the glistening wetness on his mouth.

I didn't care what he was telling me. I felt I was in another dimension and my body wanting to feel his mouth against my core again. I held his head, pushed it again to place between my thighs. He knew what I wanted and he gave me what my body was desperate for. I whimpered as his tongue began to drag through my slit. The feeling was so powerful I felt I was like a drug junkie getting the best trip that I could ever have. I couldn't explain the agonizing pleasure his mouth was giving me while his tongue dances with my clit. He sucked it gently while his tongue continued to encircle it. My hips were thrusting following the movement of his tongue. I felt his finger was tracing my slit and while he was sucking my clit, he pushed a finger inside me.

"Oh my god... Stas..."

I tilt my head back, grasped his hair while my body was giving in to the sensation that he was giving me.

Until I felt the sudden sensation of something exploding inside me. He kept on devouring my core while his finger kept on pushing in and out.

"I know you're coming," he said that while his mouth still pressed against my pussy.

I couldn't answer back. I felt I was in trance. My only attention was focused on the feeling of explosion I was about to give any minute.

"Come for me." He sucked my clit. "Come in my mouth. I want to taste you."

He pushed his finger deeper, sucked my clit harder. I moaned louder until I felt the release. I let go a tiny scream of pleasure as my orgasm flashes through me.

He kept on licking my pussy and when he stopped, he moved against my body ang kissed me passionately. Letting me taste my own wetness against his mouth.

"You taste so good." He said while still kissing me. I felt his hand moved and pushed his sweatpants down. I felt something hard was brushing against my thighs. He took my hand and guided it there. I looked at him when I realized what was it.

"Are you ready for this?"

He was looking straight into my eyes while he was guiding my hand to stroke his hard length.

I swallowed hard. I felt my hand began to shake as I tried to touch and grip his hard shaft.

It was hard. Long. Big. Really XL size.

I looked at Stas and he was looking back at me. He kissed me again and gently removed the tiny hairs that went on my face.

"Don't worry. I got you. I'll try to be gentle." He said softly.

Shit.

With his big dick against my hand, I knew that was the ultimate scam.