Chapter 28 - Hesitations of Fear
Byul's POV
"I... I do." My mind spoke itself.
It was an answer I was hiding for a long long time.
From the day we met at the village, from that moment when our eyes met each others. I knew it. I knew it.
Those feelings couldn't be contained. They were overflowing right from the start - like a major waterfall thundering its way down meeting the river - but I was hesitating at the edge of the cliff, afraid to go with the flow, afraid to get hurt once again.
Our feelings are like a bush of roses, its stalks decorated with thorns meant to hurt its intruder - fear. However sometimes, fear carries a pair of scissors that snap away those thorns and swallow us, shadowing the other emotions that we feel, forcing us to succumb to it.
Fear, is what I feared most. This detestable feeling that prevents us from doing the things we want to.
Love, that tingling feeling when you've fallen so deep, to the point you'd die for it.
I feel like I'm standing on the edge of the cliff, wondering if it's worth to jump to rekindle the love that was fogged.
Or should I let my fear get the best of me and run away, in fear that I'll get hurt and that history would repeat itself.
"D-do I stand a chance then?" His voice deep, with a hint of sadness laced in between his words.
"I... I don't know, Hansol-ah." This name I desperately wanted to call for ages. Smoothly did it roll off my tongue.
"I'm confused, I'm afraid. History almost repeated itself. I've been hurt too much. To the point that it's overwhelming like a huge wave engulfing me." I felt like a surfer, surfing on a dangerously high and gigantic wave, slowly losing the fight against that wave.
"Furthermore, I've forgotten how to love." My feet suddenly looked so much more interesting, my eyes desperately avoiding his in fear that I would break the wall I painstakingly built up to protect my vulnerable self.
"I'll help you. We can do this, as long as we're together. I will make up for all those times I have lost. Please, just give me a chance, a chance to prove myself worthy of mending and protecting your wounded heart."
Should I?
"I want to be around our children, especially with Vanessa. It'll pain me to hear her call me 'uncle' when in fact I'm her father. Please, consider this for the sake of the children, and for the sake of our broken hearts."
He lifted my chin gently as our eyes met one another's. Memories flashed through my mind - happy memories filled with so much fun and love despite its short term.
Staring at his teary eyes, I realised he was right. I can't let this chance slip through my hands. It's just right in front my eyes; a happy family filled with warmth - something I dreamt about ever since the day I realised my mother abandoned me.
I can't let fear get the best of me. I can't let it strip me off my chances to experience love.
"Help me then. Help me mend this broken heart of mine. I'd do the same for you." I whispered as I gazed into his brown orbs, my own tears falling.
"Thank you, for giving me another chance. I love you." Vernon cupped his hands on my cheeks as he rested our foreheads together, tears rolling down his cheeks.
He opened his eyes and asked me a question I'd always give the same answer.
"Would you be my wife again?"
The answer is obviously
A resounding "yes."
In spite of my fears, I jumped off the cliff, entrusting myself into the embrace of the river to protect me.
-THE END-
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