Katherine's POV:

Even though I remembered everything, the nightmares never left me. Instead, they grew stronger. 

I was absolutely sure by now that they had nothing to do with Nate and my feelings toward him, they were about something else, something I'm afraid to know of. Maybe they were something about the missing memories I still haven't remembered yet or maybe they were a hint. But whatever it is, I have no clue about it right now. 

My day went by as usual, from meetings to attending public events to charity work. The evening was cleared out for me though, a request made by Nate. I could still remember his words, ringing through my head and telling me I should start believing him. Why would he demand a right to explain when everything is as clear as the sky?

The fact is he cheated on me and he never tried to say otherwise, so no amount of talking would make me change my mind. Still, I agreed, but only for the sake of my love towards him. Not wanting to regret my decision in the future and cling on to my regrets. So I'm giving him the benefit of the doubt.

Not going to lie, I feel like taking my words back any second now and just run away, and the proof to it is the fact that I'm hiding in the restroom right now. I'm supposed to be attending a meeting with a couple of dukes to discuss our future work on improving charity matters and ways to be able to provide better lives for those in need. Yet here I am, using the restroom as an excuse only to end up just hiding in it to clear my thoughts. 

Everything about Nate kept buzzing in my head, interrupting everything else and making me unable to concentrate on my current task. The heartbreaks and the lies, the broken promises and misunderstandings, but most importantly, the chances and new starts.

"The last time I choose to remain quiet, I ended up almost losing you and I can't risk that anymore. I know I broke my promise by not fighting for you, but I'm not going to repeat my same mistake twice. I did some bad decisions in the past that ended up hurting you, but I want to make it up to you. I love you Katherine. Give me one last chance to explain everything and start making up for my bad decisions"

The flashbacks were still there yet, but not flashbacks of my missing memories, instead they were of my last conversation with him.

"All I'm asking for is a chance and if we don't clear out everything after I've had my chance, then I'll willingly let you go. You can have your divorce, you can run away from me, and you can even hate me if you want"

My heart felt as heavy as a rock and the brimming in my eyes came back to me as if we're having this conversation all over again.

"I want us to work out because I love you and I know that you love me too. You might not feel it now, but I know that deep down inside of you the feelings are still there. Let's not lose the special thing we have over something we haven't talked about clearly. Misunderstandings happen all the time and I know one has happened to us"

I could feel myself being pulled towards the ground all over again, with shaky and weak legs. I held on to the edges of the sink and shut my eyes tightly.

"Let's do therapy Kate. Talk our misunderstandings out with a professional with us, to guide us through it all. To help us get out of this rough timing we are going through, safe and happy"

I never believed in therapy, thinking it's just an excuse for people with destroyed marriages that they actually still have a chance when they clearly don't, yet here I am agreeing to it. I don't think our marriage is destroyed though, I just don't agree to therapy. Bringing in a stranger into our lives and letting that stranger know all of our issues. It just didn't feel right to me.

But talking on our own, fixing our messes by ourselves got us nowhere, so maybe letting a professional stranger guide us through our problems would help us solve them.

Taking in a couple of deep breaths, I fixed my clothes turning my posture rigid and straight, and headed out of the bathroom back to the meeting. 

......................................................

5 days later

......................................................

The sessions were daily, same time same place. Sometimes they felt like they'd get us somewhere, others didn't.

We've gone through every detail of our story, mentioning even the smallest part and letting none out, even the parts I didn't remember yet. The therapy was more of extensive and it made me feel bare as nothing was private anymore. The therapist said it would help make solving the problem easier, and the only reason I agreed was because of the love between Nate and I.

 We haven't reached to the part where we start giving our opinions on things, and this was the part I feared the most. Nate and I thought differently, each on a separate page, yet somehow we managed to live on one. But what if our differences got the best of us? What if our misunderstandings were meant to stay that way?

"Your majesty"

I looked up from my hands and shook the thoughts out of my head, focusing on the person calling me. The stranger I didn't want, our therapist.

"Still here with us?"

I nodded, both at her and Nate who was looking at me worriedly.

"Alright then, let's continue. Katherine, what do you think made you start getting flashbacks and end up remembering?"

I shrugged "I honestly have no idea, never gave it enough time to think it through"

"Then let's retrace your memories. When did the first flashback come to you?"

"More of a nightmare actually, and it was the first night I spent on my own after Nate ran to America" I answered quickly.

"So now what do you think triggered your nightmare?" 

"Nate's absence" I let out honestly.

The room became silent for a while, Nate was staring deeply into my eyes and I knew exactly what he was thinking and feeling. Admiration. Love.

I almost felt these emotions too, almost, but I didn't. I didn't and I couldn't, because the fact that he cheated on me was still there, like a thin thread of hair. Separating what we could've had and what we actually have.

"It doesn't matter. How I remembered doesn't matter because eventually I would've remembered and I would've discovered the truth. The horrifying truth that while I was blaming myself for a lot of things these past few months and trying to make up for them, I was the one who was supposed to be made up for. I was the one who was cheated on, deceived with sweet words, and left with nothing but broken promises and a shattered heart" I expressed with tears in my eyes.

"Our vows was the first thing I remembered when I remembered you, but I guess they mean nothing to you compared to what they mean to me" I continued, leaving nothing to myself.

The therapist was looking back and forth between us now, while Nate was looking down, avoiding my eyes. The whole cheating thing was the only thing that was left out when we detailed our story. When we reached that part and Nate was about to talk about it, I interrupted him by continuing with my side of the story, leaving all this part out.

Talking about something that pains a person's heart the most isn't easy. Not to the person who caused you the pain, and certainly not when a stranger is present. 

"As I can see, this part was left out and I can understand the reason" the therapist started, interrupting Nate's heated stare with the floor and my dark thoughts "Katherine, I know this is something hard for you to talk about, but you could never move on from it without talking about it. Confronting a person about something wrong that they did helps you understand the reason they did it and how to act after that. Communication is the most important thing between partners, because if they don't communicate, they'll never get to know the truth"     

I nodded. Maybe she was right, maybe it was time to hear Nate say the words. Confirm the story that I knew happened, but only from the vision of my eyes. 

I cheated on you.

I don't know what I might do after hearing him say these words, but at least I'll get the chance to start figuring it out. Staying with him would be out of the picture, cheating isn't something to be taken lightly. A person who does something wrong while knowing it and knowing the consequence of it, wouldn't mind repeating it over and over again not caring about their significant other, or at least forgetting how they'd feel for a while. But that's just my opinion. 

"Let's hear your side of the story Nathaniel" the therapist directed and Nate nodded.

"I didn't cheat on you Kate"

My head snapped in his direction immediately.

"How could you lie about something like this when I was there! I witnessed the whole thing right in front of my eyes, yet you dare lie about it?" 

The therapist was looking at the both of us silently, taking notes every there and then. Of course I was boiling, both on the inside and the outside, and surprisingly, so was Nate, even though he had no right to.

He furiously got out of his seat and started roaming around the room. He stopped right across of me and stared into my eyes, taking a deep breath.

"You never gave me a chance to explain. Every time I'd open up my mouth and try to explain what actually happened, you'd shut me before I even start" He paused to inhale deeply and sooth his heavy breathing.

"I know I was an arse to you before, but I never would have cheated on you Kate. My feelings were all over the place that night and the alcohol in my system didn't help as well, so I thought going back to my old ways would make me forget everything, even if for a little while. But I couldn't do it, my mixed feelings that I had towards you stopped me. I know you saw us go into my room and I know you heard us kiss, but that was all. I gathered my thoughts and I kicked her out. It was only a kiss, but it felt like cheating to me and I had to carry the guilt with me for a long time"

I shook my head. This wasn't what I expected, yet somehow it felt like a relief and I could see a different future for us. Maybe we still do have a chance after all.

"I'm sorry Katherine. There hasn't been a minute when I didn't regret what I did. I made you cry when I should've been the last person to make you. You spent that whole night sobbing, all because of me and I couldn't do anything about it because I was the one who caused it. I even remember waking up on the floor right by the door between us and feeling like a completely different person. An empty and broken one"

I broke down after the last word and I could see Nate fighting his tears. He was there through one of my weakest moments and I knew that now. I could see him differently now, a loving husband and a person I could spend the rest of my life with, like the man I once believed he could be.

All thoughts thrown aside, I got out of my place and quickly walked towards Nate. I threw myself into his arms and hugged him tightly, sealing our fate with the hug. Taking my time, I inhaled Nate's scent letting the homey feeling surround me. He was my home and I knew that now.

I moved back a bit after a while to see his face clearly, while still being in his arms "I'm sorry for going out with Hugh and hurting you the way I did. I used the loss of my memory as an excuse just to see if you and I have a chance, to prove it to myself, but I ended up hurting you terribly and I now know that nothing can justify what I did to you, even my memory"

Nate shook his head, smiling softly at me "Don't apologise, because what you did ended with us back together. If you haven't gone out with him then I wouldn't have left you and you wouldn't have remembered me. So no, don't apologise. It did hurt in the beginning, but now it all turned out for the best for us and I wouldn't change a single thing about what happened"   

We spent a couple of seconds staring into each other's eyes, letting the depth of our stare guide our minds and align our stars, but then the throat clearing of the therapist brought us back to reality. So now we're back in our seats, but closer than ever and with our fingers entangled together. 

"I'm glad you both worked things out, as I said communication is the key to all misunderstandings. But now we need to continue just to make sure nothing is still misunderstood. Let's start with you Katherine. We figured out the reason of your memory loss and the reason you got it back, but did you get it all back or are there things unclear yet?"

I hesitated for a moment. This was something no one knew, including Nate, and it could be all in my head. Nothing was certain yet, and letting it out now, without any proof, might cause unnecessary problems.

"Some things are still unclear" I hesitated once again "When the flashbacks first started, they started with a nightmare. It was fragments of memories of how the accident was caused and I remember someone smacking my head into the steering wheel causing me to lose control over the car. I don't remember seeing a face, I don't remember anything else, it's just this repeating over and over again every night"

"We'll figure this out love, I won't let anyone harm you" Nate kept whispering in my ears repeatedly in hopes of calming both my thoughts and his. It was the calmness that we needed before the storm hit.

........................................................