Nathaniel's POV:

Could you die while still being alive? Because that's how I felt the moment the news was dropped on me like a bomb. 

My heart just, stopped.

I rushed to the car panicking, forgetting all of my surrounding. I need to get to her, I can't lose her. That was all my mind could think of as I recklessly passed car by car throughout the streets, as I arrived to the emergency door, and as I parked the car right by it not caring about anything else. Not the fact that I parked where ambulances park nor the fact that I left the engine working and the car unattended. 

My bodyguards would take care of that, but that seemed to be the last thing on my mind. All I needed to know now was Kate is alive, but as I arrived to the door, I froze. My system seemed to shut down and I couldn't function anymore all of the sudden. 

Breath Nathaniel, breath. Inhale, exhale. 

How hard could this be? All I have to do is take a step into this hospital's premises, go to Katherine's room, and make sure she's alright. Not that hard right? I mean she's probably doing fine with just a bit of scratches and I'm blowing this whole thing out of proportion.

She would still be mad at me, refusing to even talk to me, and I'd work my arse off to make it up to her. I'd start by apologising to her and when, if, that doesn't work then I'll use plan B.

Beg, even get on my knees if I have to, asking for her forgiveness. She'd probably say no, like the stubborn beauty she is. Torture me and make me beg even more while laughing at my misery, and then after having her dose of fun, she'd forgive me out of the kindness she is. 

But no, my mind refused to believe that, convinced that something serious has indeed happened to her. 

Still, you won't get to me.

I refused to believed what my mind tortured me with and stepped into the hospital squeezing the slightest hope left in me as it was needed. 

I slowly headed to the receptionist paining myself even more because fear had started to take over me once again. It seemed easier to let the fear take over since my mind seemed to stay shut down, so I let it be. 

The slower you arrive, the slower it takes you to find out the ugly truth.

My mind kept telling me that refusing to believe that Kate was just fine, but I was too anxious to listen. Katherine is my first and only priority, I need to find out how she is. So I rushed to the receptionist with a new purpose and refused to let my fear take over once again as it kept denying me of what I needed to know. 

'I'm trying to protect you' my coward of a mind kept reasoning.

What about Katherine? Who's going to protect her and be there for her when she desperately needs it as she fights for her life in this damn hospital? It's my job to do so and I'm not going to fail her. I won't repeat the same mistake twice, I can't risk loosing her again.

"Excuse me" I interrupted both my thoughts and the receptionist. She looked up and her eyes immediately widened realising who I am "Katherine, my wife, was brought to this hospital a while ago. I need to know which room is she in"

Her eyes remained widened, shock taking over her, but nevertheless, did as told "Room 101, VIP floor. The whole floor has been emptied for her and her bodyguards secured it already, your majesty"

I nodded thanking her and headed to the VIP floor. The floor was indeed empty as the receptionist had mentioned, only a couple of doctors roaming around and a minimum of 10 guards around the floor. 

I should really keep it in mind to find the bodyguard who called me yesterday and have a word with him, but for now, I need to see Kate.

Room 99, 100, and at last, room 101. 

'Moment of truth', I thought as I held the door knob and twisted it revealing a pale sleeping Katherine with a bandage wrapped around her head, tubes coming and going out of her, and scratches all over her body covering it like second skin. 

My heart ached at her sight. She looked lifeless, like her soul was taken and her pale, fragile form was left for me as a reminder of my doings. It pained me knowing that my girl was hurt and it was all my fault. 

My girl.

I never got the chance to tell her that nor confess my love to her. I shouldn't have let her walk out of that door. I shouldn't have been a stubborn arse refusing to acknowledge my feelings and letting my fear take over. And I certainly shouldn't have refused her demands, I should've just given her my trust.

I should've handed her my heart, my soul, and just all of me. She was more than worthy of it after all, she proved it a lot of times, but it was all too late now. And it's all my fault.

I couldn't stay in the room anymore, it felt confined all of the sudden and I was catching on air. I got out closing the door and leaned against it as I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply feeling breathless. 

My eyes landed on a guard as I opened them and remembered that I needed to have a talk to one of them. I needed to release some pain and blame someone for my doings, even though it's wrong, but the selfish bastard in me decided to do it while having the talk with that bodyguard.

So I went to the guard that my eyes landed on first and gave him a stern look "Where is the bodyguard that called me to inform me of the accident?"

He pointed at the last guard at the end of the hallway, not uttering a word and squirming a bit in fear. Choosing to ignore the fear in his eyes that is caused by me, I turned to the guard he pointed at and started walking to him.

Once I got to him, I held his collar roughly pulling him to me and chocking him a bit in the meantime. He's probably twice my size and he could crush me with a snap, but he remained still giving me the power over him. 

"How did this happen to her, aren't you supposed to be with her all the time!" I gritted through my teeth.

He kept quiet and I'm glad he chose wisely. Sadly, it did nothing to sooth my anger "What do I pay you for!"

I shook him in anger as I yelled at him while he stood there like a statue. Feeling like I released enough anger on him, I moved back giving him the opportunity to explain.

"She looked rather disturbed, her eyes were even red and puffy, and dried stains of tears covered her face. She asked to drive on her own and we would follow her in another car. Driving around for some time helps her release whatever emotions inside of her, she's even done it a couple of times before, so it's nothing out of the ordinary"

How could I not notice something like that?

"This time was different though. She drove really fast and recklessly, we even had trouble keeping tracks of her. Then all of the sudden her car started swaying while slowly declining the speed, but it seemed like she couldn't control the car enough because she ended up crashing into the wall. By the time we got to her, her head was laying against the steering wheel and she was out of conscious"

I can't blame anyone, this is clearly all my fault. She probably was replaying our argument when she lost control of the car.

I sighed. The guilt was eating me alive.

I patted on the guard's shoulder and gave him a grateful smile "Thank you for taking care of Kate and I apologise for losing it a while ago. You clearly didn't deserve it"

He nodded, gratitude showing on his face "No problem your majesty, I would've done the same thing if it was my wife"

I nodded back at him not feeling in the mood to talk anymore and walked away. As I reached Kate's room, the door opened and a doctor walked out of it.

"Is she alright doctor?" I asked with concern, scenarios starting to form in my mind. Bad scenarios.

"No change has been made up till now and we shouldn't expect one. Her body is tired from the hit so we gave her sedatives to keep her asleep for a couple of days. This should help her recover faster and not feel any pain in the progress"

I nodded taking in the information, but still not satisfied with what I got "Did she break any bones or ribs?"

He shook his head no "Nothing broken, just a bit of scratches. She did take a quite hard hit to the head though"

"Will it affect her anyway?"

As he opened his mouth to reply, his phone buzzed. He took it out glancing at it then looked back at me "I'm sorry your majesty, but I need to take this, it's an emergency "

I watched him as he walked away leaving me with a serious unanswered question. Great, one more thing to add to my long list of worry.

I went back to Kate's room and took a seat on the chair next to her as I started making some necessary calls.

I started by calling my assistant and asked him to postpone all my meeting for the whole week. All the meetings that weren't able to be postponed were handed off to the next person in charge to handle them.

Perfect, once less thing to worry about.

Next thing needed to be done was to tell the family about the accident. I started by calling Kate's mother since they became close over the past while. I didn't bother informing my parents since they don't even care and I couldn't care less if they were here. 

They were never a support to me.

Then I called Alex even though he might be out of country, still, he had the right to know. After that I called Arabella, I might be a bit afraid of her after that sour punch I received from her, but what needs to be done has to be. 

And at last, I called Gray, I postponed him to the last since I knew he would be the hardest to talk to. He is mad at me after all, but he needed to know because he considered Kate as a sister.

About an hour later, Gray and Stella were the first to arrive to the hospital as informed by the receptionist I talked to earlier. I got out of my seat and headed to the end of the hallway where the elevator was to greet them and lead the way.

Sadly, the greetings didn't go well as I received a punch that was a bit too familiar. His fist happened to connect with the same spot he hit me at the night of the Coronation. I deserved it back then and I certainly deserved it right now.

The sudden impact of the punch managed to catch me off guard and lead to my fall to the ground. Stella screamed in surprise and shock while Gray smirked at me giving me a look that said 'You deserved that you arse'

I didn't argue with his look and put my head down avoiding more eye contact as I remained still on the ground.

You deserved that.

The look he gave me stuck in my mind like a broken image and it managed to even increase my guiltiness. I couldn't help nor stop the tear that escaped my eyes and I couldn't care less about it.

The guilt was building up and eating me alive.

"Gray do something, I've never seen him like that" I heard Stella whisper nudging him to do something. I got off the floor wiping the tear that fell and gave Stella a small fake smile 

"I'm alright, I'll be fine"

But in reality I wasn't, I was dying alive.

.......................................