Nathaniel's POV:

"Gray, I just finished with work and I could use a drink, meet me at our usual place"

"Be there in 10"

"Perfect"

I quickly hung up, took my keys, and left my office room. I got out of the palace as quickly as possible as I was avoiding Kate like a disease. My thoughts are all over the place ever since last night's surprise, and I'm starting to regret going out with her in the first place.

I got into my car and rushed to the usual club. In no time, which was about 15 minutes, I was outside of the club parking my car. I tug my face down a bit to make sure no one recognises me and enter the club from the backdoor.

I immediately head to the bar and thank the lord Gray was already there. I do our usual greeting and order 10 of the strongest drink this club could offer.

The 10 drinks were gone in less than 5 minutes and I still couldn't call myself drunk nor have I uttered a single word to Gray. So I ordered another 10 and now I could feel myself loosen up a bit.

"Nathan, that's enough" Gray said as he tried to take my drink from me.

"I need this, don't stop me" I said weakly and with a sigh, he nodded.

"Did the date go badly, is that why your drinking?" he asked all of the sudden making my head snap to him as I shot him a confused look

"How did you know? I didn't tell you anything yet"

He rubbed the back of his neck feeling caught then gave me a sly smirk "She may have called me for help and I may have did it. That was why she caught you before leaving for your usual place"

I had no idea what to say nor think, so I ended up having another couple of drinks.

"I'm not mad at you for doing what you did, I actually had a good time" I let it out all of the sudden. What can I say, alcohol makes an honest man out of me.

Gray smirked as he got closer and put a hand behind his ear "What did you say? I couldn't hear you" he mocked

I got out of my place and got on the bar as I screamed on top of my lungs "I had the best bloody night of my life with my wife"

Gray looked at me shocked then his head snapping back and forth scanning through the people staring at me, probably to see if someone recognised me. He let out at deep breath that he was holding as he was sure that no one knew I'm the king and helped back to my seat.

"Alright, that's enough drinking for you"

I shook my head "No, I still need talk about something else"

"Well, you can talk without drinking"

"I won't say a single word without another 10 drinks next to me"

"Then don't talk!" he snapped.

"Then go, the bartender would love to hear my story" I said as I glanced at the bartender who was lost making drinks.

"Fine, you win" he said sighing and called the busy bartender to order my 10 drinks. He then turned his attention back to me as he gave me a pointy look "Now talk"

"She told me about what happened between her and her ex" I begin quietly

"And?" he asks impatiently

"He did exactly what I have been fearing people would do to me, he used her. I'm starting to think I may have misjudged her"

"You may have?! Aren't you a bit too late for that!" he yelled

"Why the hell are you screaming at me?!" I yelled back

"Because I warned you, everyone warned you. I told you she's different, I told you not to treat her that way, but you never listened! You let your fear and insecurities take over you, and now it may have cost you the love of your life, who by the way, you keep denying"

I felt the air being sucked out of my lungs, and even my whole body. The place bit by bit feeling smaller and even though I'm not claustrophobic, I now know how it feels like, the only difference is that the truth was crowding me.

"Maybe you're right, just not about the love part" I breathlessly said. Acknowledging the truth has a price, and I'm paying for it right now.

"I am right! About all of it" he mimicked the way I talked, only he had his full breath. I ignored his remark and went back to drinking.

After all, I needed it.

Katherine's POV:

I heard some commotion coming from Nate's room and as much as my mind was telling me not to go see, my heart was saying the opposite. My heart won't be able to take another hit of seeing my own husband and the love of my life cheating on me, but I had to make sure of his well being.

He doesn't deserve my concern, yet here I am laying in my bed, tossing around and not being able to sleep just because it's past midnight and Nate isn't back yet.

I removed the comforter off of me and headed to the door adjoining both of our rooms. I open the door not bothering to knock because I want to catch him red handed and let him see my concern for him while he's out doing God knows what, but what I don't expect is to see him passed out and Gray dragging him to his bed.

I quickly rushed to Gray and helped him lay Nate softly on his bed then turned to Gray demanding an answer with just a look.

"The doctor is on his way, Nate had over his capacity"

I arched an eyebrow at him "And why would you let him drink that much? He could've killed himself!"

He raised his hands in surrender, probably sensing my hostility "I tried, I really did but he wouldn't listen then he started talking, or more like blabbering and I realised how much he needed it, so I let him"

"Gray, stop talking in codes. First, what you said before hanging up the other day and now, this" I warned him making him sigh and come closer to me.

He held both shoulders in his hands and gave me a sweet brotherly smile "Both of you have a lot that you don't know about each other and that was why I wanted you both to go out together the night of his birthday. The more time you spend together, the more you confide in each other" He glanced at Nate's passed out body then back to me

"He cares about you, more than the both of you think. I promise you he needs a bit more time, he's just fighting his inner demons and figuring out his feelings for you"

I couldn't say anything and I was glad the doctor interrupted us at that time. He quickly checked on Nate and gave him an IV to help clear the alcohol in his system.

"He may be out for the rest of the night and tomorrow as well. He shouldn't drink for about a month, he had enough to last him a lifetime. It was a miracle nothing happened to him, that's how much he drank. Someone needs to spend the night with him as he might wake up a couple of times and throw up"

"I'm staying with him" I quickly intervened

"Alright, if you need anything else your majesty, I'm available anytime"

"Thank you so much" he nodded and gave us our privacy. I went to watch Nate's fragile body, the only indication of being alive is his rising chest, as worry took over me.

He could've died.

"Alright, I need to go back to my pregnant wife, if you need anything, anything at all, you have my number" Gray announced as he got up from his seat. I hugged him and thanked him then let Nate take over my attention once again.

I moved the single seat sofa that was decorating the corner of the room and positioned it by the side of the bed where Nate was laying. God, this is going to be a long sleepless night.

I spent a couple of hours watching his chest rise and fall worrying the whole time that his breath might stop any second now, but ended up drifting into sleep.

The moment my eyes shut, they snapped open as I heard Nate mumbling some incoherent words. Then all of the sudden, he woke up and ran to the bathroom. I ran after him guessing he went there to throw up and my guess was right as I saw him on his knees with his head in the toilet.

After he was done, I handed him a towel to clean himself up and helped back to the bed "Why would you drink like that, you could've killed yourself?" I asked helplessly as I helped him lay back on the bed.

"Why are you here? After everything I've done to you, why are you here taking care of me?" Nate mumbled all of the sudden ignoring my original question.

"I couldn't not care, not worry. I tried fighting it, God knows I've tried, but I couldn't. At the end of the day, you're still my husband" I groaned the last part out, not because I don't want him as my husband, but because after everything that happened, I still consider him my husband.

He lazily nodded, but more like to himself than me "You want to know why I drank myself to my own death?"

He didn't give me the chance to answer as he continued "I was having a battle with myself, wondering if I should let you in or not. What you said about what your ex did to you kept pondering in my mind because it was exactly what I was afraid you'd do to me. I just couldn't risk ending up being used and hurt so I let my fear take control and it pushed you away from me, but no more. I'm going to let you in"

As much as I wanted an answer, I wanted him to give it to me while being sober, with no regrets.

"Don't Nate" I interrupted "Don't say something you might regret telling later on. I want you sober when you tell me your story, so sleep it off right now and in the morning if you still want to tell me then I'd be more than happy to listen to you"

He shook his head to himself and looked a bit disappointed "How did I ever get so lucky with you? All I ever did was treat you terribly, yet here you are concerned about my well being and worried that I might regret whatever I'm about to tell you right now. I guess this is another reason why I'm going to tell you"

I was about to object again, but I was interrupted before I could even start "Mary isn't my mother" he said all of the sudden and left it hanging at that.

I could see his mind going in circles trying to figure out his words, so I gave him the time he needed as I probably needed it as well to digest what he just said.

No wonder he's been always been a bit bitter to her no matter how much he tries to conceal it.

"My real mum was a maid in the palace" was? "My father and Mary tried for years to have a child, but were never able to so they came up with the idea of using a surrogate, the only problem was that she never knew she was one. My mum was the one they choose as their victim. Father let her believe that he was in love with her until he impregnated her. During the time my mum was pregnant, Mary stayed off sights making the press think that she was the one pregnant. After I was born, Father confessed everything to my mum and handed me off to Mary. Still, he kept my mum close as I needed her for breastfeeding"

He took a really deep breath leaving me thinking this is the hard part "At the age-" he cleared his throat and sat straight as he continued

"At the age of 4, my father decided that mum was no longer needed, so he decided to get rid of her, fearing that his secret might be exposed. He publicly accused her of betraying the royal family and announced that she would be hanged for treason. Any normal 4 year old wouldn't remember anything about that year, but for me, I remember every little thing, especially that day. I watched my own mum being hanged and I couldn't do anything about it. After that day, I distanced myself from everyone and as I grew up, I started rebelling as it was the only thing I can do. I couldn't even avenge my own mother's death"

By now tears were running down both his face and mine. I couldn't watch him like that so I got off the sofa and got into the bed next to him. I pulled his shaking body towards me and enveloped him in a comforting hug. After letting years of bottled tears out, he looked at me with red eyes as he started talking again.

"You want to know the last thing she told me?" I nodded "She asked me if I knew why she named me Nathaniel, and when I told her no, she replied with 'Nathaniel means gift of God and you my baby, are my gift from God'. This was one of the things I remember about her"

I let out a small smile as I thought about 4 year old Nate in the arms of his sweet mother "What else do you remember about her?"

He smiled through his tears at what seemed like a good memory "She always used to sing the same song to me every night before falling asleep, it was called Smile"

I helped him lay his head gently on my thigh as I caressed his hair softly and started singing the song his mother used to sing.

Smile, though your heart is aching
Smile, even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky
you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through
for you

Light up your face with gladness
Hide every trace of sadness
Although a tear may be ever so near
That's the time you must keep on trying
Smile what's the use of crying
You'll find that life is still worthwhile
If you'll just
Smile

"I miss you mummy" Nate muttered, all of the sudden, through his sleep as I finished singing.

...........................

I've been waiting to write this chapter for a long while. This is finally were you get to know why Nate is the way he is and why he pushes people away. If you didn't get it then I'll say it again, Nate is afraid that if he ever gets attached to someone, then he might lose that person just like he lost his mother. He's also afraid that he might be betrayed just like his mother was by his father.

Now that we got to know his story, the action begins. I can't wait for you guys to see what's next.

I hope you enjoyed this one, let me know what you think.