Katherine's POV:

Waking up in Nate's arms, in my case on top of him, is the best thing I've ever experienced. I looked forward to sleeping in his arms every night. The warmth I felt, the comfortability, and the safety, all of which I only felt when I was in his arms.

He didn't mind it as well, thank god for me, in fact he pretty much liked it as much as I did. He loved snuggling, and he snuggled pretty well. Too much sometimes, but it never bothered me.

Still, it did nothing to close the empty feeling in my chest. The feeling of something missing, my memories. It's been three days already, half of our therapeutic vacation, and I haven't remembered anything yet. Not even a glimpse.

We've been to almost each and every place I've seen, but nothing yet. The grocery store I met Alex in, the land of trampoline as it seems it was what I called it, the bar it turns out I got drunk in, and the mall Nate and I shopped in. All seemed like places I'd go to, well except for the bar, and the familiarity to them seemed to confirm it, yet nothing helped me remember.

The dress I'm wearing right now is the same dress I wore during the occasion, even my make up and hair were done the same. Tonight we're reliving Gray's party, Nate managed to convince Gray to lend him the house and decorate it just the way it was before.

The party he's making has no point, unlike the last time, the actual one. Nate managed to invite random people that we know to fill the house, so as I said, no point at all. The point of this whole thing is to help me remember, completely sweet but unnecessary.

Not that I don't appreciate his effort, I really do actually and I admire him even more for trying, but what's the point if I feel it deep down that I won't remember. I would never want to hurt Nate that way. It's something I can't control, but I feel like if I don't remember, then I'd be repaying Nate for all his effort by pain.

The deep red lipstick seemed like a bold choice, something I don't usually wear, but if I did, it must've been for a reason. The pink dress though, sweet as icing. It flowed in a nice way, I truly felt like a princess tonight, yet at the same time, it showed enough curves and skin. Not too much, absolutely perfect.

Just the way I love it.

I put my black heels on and left the room. I walked down the stairs slowly, stair by stair, my eyes going back and forth looking for Nate while making sure I don't trip. I stopped midway when I heard footsteps behind me. Nate gave me a sweet smile as I looked back at him and continued walking down the stairs along with my pace, never changing the amount of stairs between us. I could hear his footsteps suddenly stop and I knew exactly why.

"Nate, stop staring at my behind" I commented, without looking at him.

He faked a gasp "I did not!"

I turned to look at him again narrowing my eyes at him. He gave me a confused look, a fake one if I may add.

"Plus why would you think so?"

"Because I'm starting to feel holes from your starting"

He smirked "Well, you do have a hole by the way"

I gasped, this time for real and loud if I may add "Nathaniel! Get your mind out of the gutter"

He fastened his pace to be next to me, laughing all the while. Wrapping an arm around my waist as we reached the floor, he brought me closer to him, and kissed the side of my forehead.

"You have an absolutely gorgeous behind, so you have nothing to worry about if I stare"

I laughed, hitting his chest lightly. He then suddenly stopped walking, stopping me with him along the way. He turned me to face him, looking both seriously and lovingly at me.

"Have I told you how beautiful you look tonight?"

I shook my head, smiling.

"Do you want to know what I'm thinking of?"

I nodded, still smiling.

"Breathless. Absolutely breathless. A goddess sent from the ancient Greeks that looked magnificently breathless. That was all I could think of from the moment I saw you walk down these stairs"

I blushed, hard, as tears filled my eyes.

"A sight, that's what you are" he added lovingly.

He removed his hand from my waist as he took my hand, kissing it, and guided us towards the car. He opened the door for me like a true gentleman, giving me a worthy smile, and went to his side. Signalling the driver to start the car, he got into his backseat next to me.

His eyes never left mine all throughout the ride. I got lost in them that the ride felt like seconds instead of minutes. In no time we were in front of the house -or more like the mansion. I used Nate's offered hand to help me out of the car and guide me into the mansion. 

The first floor felt like one of these outrageous royal parties we usually attend, the second floor on the other hand, was the total opposite. It felt like college all over again. Every room you enter, you find a couple occupying it. So I made sure to avoid the second floor like a forbidden one, both Nate and I. 

The fancy party was filled with familiar people, people that I actually remember. Only a couple of people that I didn't remember, people that I should -more like want to- remember. Gray, Stella, and Alex. 

Gray and Stella weren't that strangers to me by now, they visited me every day during the week I was in the hospital. Alex though, I haven't been able to meet him until now. From what I heard from everyone, we were really close, kind of like Bella and I close. Now he just feels familiar, along with my many forgotten memories. 

I had no idea how to react when he approached me, I didn't even know how he looked like. Thank god for Nate being by my side and alerting me that the person walking towards us is Alex. Other than being really handsome, Alex was a cheerful soul. I felt close to him already, just the way I felt with Nate, except no feelings attached. Only pure friendly feelings. 

"How are things going in paradise?" Alex nudged me once Nate excused himself to the restroom. I chuckled at the term he used.

"Paradise is going fine, I guess"

"You guess?"

"Yes, no, I mean I don't know. All I know now is that I need to gain my missing memories to be certain whether paradise is going to be fine or not"

He nodded understandingly. He changed the subject right after that -I was very thankful for the gesture- and moved to announce his big surprise. 

"I'm getting married!"

I stared at him blankly. I didn't even know he had a girlfriend.

"I finally gained the courage to ask her and she said yes. Lucky me! I know you don't remember right now, but I introduced you to her before. I know as well that you don't remember me right now, but you still are my friend and always will be, so I want you to be her maid of honour. Both her and I actually. But I get it if you don-"

"Don't even think of it. Whether I remember you or not, you will still always be my friend as well. So yes, I'll be her maid of honour"

"What did I miss?" Nate interrupted.

"Alex is getting married! And I'm going to be the maid of honour"

"Congratulations man, it's about time. Just a year late" they both laughed as Nate hugged Alex, then turned to me "Alex here, has been trying find the courage and propose even before we met  him, which is about half a year now. You spent a lot of time trying to convince him that she is madly in love with him and she won't say no, so I guess your hard work payed off"

 Alex nodded "It's true, it's all thanks to you"

"Well then I'm glad I helped, even though I don't remember anything" I joked. They didn't laugh, seems like my memory is a sensitive subject to them. 

The rest of the night was spent dancing, no talking, no thinking, and no worries. Putting everything aside for a couple of hours didn't seem hard nor a bad idea, so I stuck with it. I enjoyed my night with Nate, waltzing under the chandelier, in the centre of the ballroom. 

We were both tired and breathless by the end of the night, so we announced our farewell since we were the centre of the attention for the night and said goodbyes. 

My brain turned on automatically once we got into the car and started driving. All the thoughts and the worries came back to me, all at once. It continued in the palace as well, only difference, Nate was well aware that I was drifting. He didn't comment, just went to change his clothes in silent, realising my need of space.

I changed as well, then started staring at the bed. I couldn't sleep, I couldn't even think about it. Something was missing. I needed to know more about the missing gap in my memories. For some reason, whatever Nate was doing didn't seem to be enough, my mind wasn't satisfied. I needed to see myself in that missing time. I need something to see to force my mind into remembering. Going to the familiar places just didn't seem enough.

I went to Nate's office and opened the laptop there. I started googling the both of us and searched through the results. All of the pictures of us seemed too formal, too distant, and too fake. Forced smiles here and there, on both sides, fake closeness, like we couldn't stand each other, and non-existent attraction, as if neither one of us seemed like they wanted to be there. 

The videos and interviews were even worse. All meaningless words, especially the last interview. Both Nate and I were distant, sadness among many other feelings showing in our eyes. Nate was trying to hide it, while I didn't even bother.  The problem is we weren't that bad actors, our fake expressions didn't even seem obvious to strangers, but it seems like I was the only one who could see behind all the acting. Maybe it was because I knew about the scheme to begin with. 

Searching for pictures made everything even worse, maybe I should've just asked for our personal pictures from Nate. I shut the laptop close, frustrated even more than before, and left the office back to our room. Nate was already in bed, tugged nicely and laying on his back just as always. He glanced at me and smiled, then went back to staring at the ceiling.

I copied his position in bed, praying sleep would come to me quickly. My prayers weren't answered though, I kept tossing around and around for a straight hour, my brain swarming in thoughts. Nate didn't sleep as well, glancing every now and then at me, and burning holes in my body trying to figure out what was occupying my mind.  

I huffed as I sat on the bed, legs crossed, opposite to his laying figure. He put his hands behind his head and looked at me attentively. 

"Do we have any pictures that I can look at, maybe it would help trigger something?" I used his words to justify my question.

"We weren't on best terms most of the time" he answered sympathetically, still in the same position.

"What about the times we were on best terms?" I still had hope. Hope was the only thing I had from the day I lost my memory. I depended on hope, I lived on it actually.

He shook his head no "We were too busy savouring the moment I guess"

That triggered something, just not what I was hoping for. I shot out of bed, put both my hands on my waist, and gave him an angry look "You guess! How could we not even have a single picture together?! And how could you say it so easily without feeling something, as if nothing means something to you?!"

He got out of the bed in silence after I had released all my anger. He didn't give me a sympathetic look this time. He had felt exactly what I was feeling, anger, sadness, and disappointment. 

He slowly walked closer to me -so slowly it felt like he was barely moving- looking intensely at me all through the while, until he reached me. He hugged me tightly, moving his palm up and down along my spine, in a comforting way, until we both calmed down.

"I can't change the past, you and I both know that. And I sincerely apologise for that, but what I can do though, is change the future" he whispered in my ears.

I said nothing. I remained in the same position, disappointment still filling my insides. He let go of me moving back once he realised he hadn't gotten a response out of me and looked at me sighing.

"How about a clean slate? We start new; new memories, new everything. And this time we document it all, not in case one of us loses their memory again, we document so we have something to look back on when we grow really old"

"You think we will still be together when we're that old?" I asked in a small voice.

He smiled "I know so"

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