19. Jealousy
Song: Alien by Jonas Blue ft Sabrina Carpenter
This feeling's so alien
Need to know if you're just a friend
Are you a secret I'm holding in
So leave it on my brain if you feel the same
Light, but I notice it
Don't know the rules but I got to win
The paranoia is sinking in
So leave it on my brain if you feel the same
Ooh, let me discover all of your colors
If you love me let me know
Luke was pacing outside Glacia's room door. She had returned late after the training with Asher, and then had gone on to have ice cream with the Rose, Savannah and Jo. She hadn't been her more talkative self, but it was a huge improvement from how she had been the previous week. At first, she had stared into space all day, thinking of nothing but mourning and bloodshed. She would so often scramble from nightmares, yelling after seeing Livia blown to bits.
Luke had been there to hold her, tell her that it was just a nightmare. She had confided in him, let out her grief. But somehow, it was Asher that cheered her up the most. Especially since she had her hesitations: Luke was siding with the Insurgents, who were the ones to kill her mother. Did he know what they had done? That was the question she couldn't bring herself to ask.
His face lit up with relief at the sight of her. He took quick strides to where she was and wrapped her in a tight hug. "On a scale of ten, how bad has today been?" He whispered into her hair.
He did this everyday for those seven days, and her answer had been the same. Blankly, she replied. "Nine. Not ten, because there's always room for more heartbreak." Yes, this gesture had comforted her in the past, but it was only for things like having worse style than Laura Riler that day or for accidentally dropping her ice cream on the floor. Not for grief like this. Still, she didn't tell him about that.
Luke smiled, pulling back and touching the ruby necklace Glacia was wearing. "I felt more happiness in you today. I can sense some of your emotions, remember?"
She had nearly forgotten that she was wearing his gift. The thought of a red ruby suddenly felt sickening.
"Some grieve by tears, some by anger, but all I feel is emptiness." Like someone had dug out a pit of my heart, leaving it hollow.
Luke made a strangled noise, sighing. "I know, you've said that everyday this past week, even if you don't remember it."
Had I? Glacia's eyes widened. Guess she was less into it than she thought she was. Luke was quick to ensure she wasn't feeling bad about it, though. "We can go somewhere, and talk about the happiness that you felt."
One place came to mind. She hadn't been there for long, and thought he would like it. She tugged on his hand, and led him to the Night Garden.
Glacia was right. When they entered, he was amazed at its wonders, just as she had felt when she saw it for the first time. Here, it was safe to talk. She sat down, cross-legged, on a rock and pat the spot next to her.
Luke followed, and took her hand again instinctively. "I'll never forgive Asher for this."
"Asher?"
"He's the one who did this. He's trying to pretend that the Insurgents plotted it, but it wouldn't make sense. Why would Dante kill your mother, if he knew that she was the woman that was the love interest of the first Insurgent? Even if it had been the King, and not Asher who had done this, I'll make sure Asher get his revenge instead. We can no longer take it out, on the King, now that he's dead..."
"He's dead?" Glacia thought about how Asher had come to the training room with shadows in his eyes too. She thought about how he told her that he got rid of his grief by sparring.
Luke looked away. "He is now."
That knowledge scared her. It wasn't publicly announced that the King had passed away. Why was he, a non-Royal, the first few to know?
"Luke." Her grip on his tightened. "The Insurgents actually do have a reason to want me dead. Dante knows of my mother, but he doesn't know that she bore a child, I think, or he would be looking for me. He has reason to kill my mother — she knows about the Energiser, and the Red Ruby. And she might come to possess more in time, so he wanted to make sure to she wouldn't be a threat to their plans."
Luke furrowed his brows. "Energiser? Red Ruby? What's that?"
Did he not know? Dante retained more information from his own "allies", than she thought he would.
"Never mind." She replied Luke lightly, placing her head on Luke's shoulder. Even as she was with her best friend, she still felt a tinge of longing, wishing it was Asher she was against. Thoughts of him filled her mind: was he mourning? How did he feel? If he was, she should be there to comfort him as he did for her, share the grief and burden.
Luke and Glacia sat in silence, watching the crystal blue butterflies flutter. The yellow and red flowers had bloomed to form a sea of autumn colours. The stars twinkled from above in the surreal sky.
"I have something for you." Luke whispered to Glacia, placing something in her hand and enclosing her fingers around it.
She opened it to find a lot of pens and brushes. The feeling of wielding such tools gave her excitement — she loved to paint, and that would be a good distraction from the world around me.
"There's canvas in your room. I remember how the walls in your room in the mortal world had been your canvas, and I tried to mimic it. Go paint it, go make it yours."
Glacia closed my hands around the tools tightly, closing my eyes. Yes, this was what she needed. Her home back in the mortal world was gone. She had to start afresh and do something that would keep her sane.
When she opened her eyes, she thought she had seen a shadow watching from afar, silently. He had an unreadable expression, which stirred her from her comfortable position against Luke, under the tree — the tree that Asher had always sat under. Something twisted in her gut, she realised how wrong it had been to bring a guest here uninvited. Her lips parted, but he was gone.
Asher turned and walked away, leaving her to wonder if it had been jealousy that she had seen in his eyes.
***
Ellione stirred awake and yelped at the sight of Atlas. He was in front of her, stricken. She knew that he had often wandered outside her door in the late night, but it was the first time that he had actually come in, and hadn't made a sound since.
"My father's dead." He said.
Ellione made a low sound as she reached for him and pulled him to where she sat. She threw all caution to the wind, her heart was weak and would always give way easily, especially at times when he was vulnerable like this. She knotted her fingers in his hair, whispering against him.
"I would say I feel sorry for you, but I know you don't want that."
He took her hand and nuzzled his cheek against it. "He may not have been a good King, but he was closest to me. We had our ups and downs -- sometimes he was mad at me for being not enough to become a Crown Prince, but other times he had shown love for me."
Ellione closed her eyes, feeling the urge to cry as if the tears that Atlas could not release were now hers. She gripped his palm and kissed the fingertips and creases, watching his eyes widen. "You know you've seen this coming, Atlas."
His breathing hitched. He made a disgruntled noise as he reached for her, pulling her up with him. He kissed her fiercely and felt her wrap against him, the heat tingling between them. She gasped, he knew where to hold her and how. He pressed his lips to her collarbone, feeling the ache of being away for so long.
"I planted a listening device on Glacia. I can hear her conversations."
"You -- what?" Ellione woke from her state of desire for a while, holding him away so she could talk to him without getting carried away.
"I embedded something into my brother's balisong, and he gave it to Glacia, so I can hear her. I know how the King died."
Ellione was going to say something about eavesdropping on Asher's conversations, if not for the fact that it was Glacia's burden now.
She could see the darkened eyes of Atlas. He was firm against her skin, feeling some anger mixed with his emotions. "Someone's been giving him a concoction called Red Ruby progressively. Asher knew this, but he let it happen --"
"He probably didn't know it soon enough. It would be too late." Ellione interjected.
Atlas dug his fingers into the coverlet. "For all I know, Asher was the one that helped kill Orion. It made sense -- now Asher just has to contend with Callum, and he'll have the throne. He and Orion always hated each other anyway, I bet he was laughing as it happened."
Ellione shook her head. "Ash wouldn't do that."
Atlas bemoaned the fact that she was still siding with Asher. He continued, "Did you know? Even if Asher was the Crown Prince, Orion was plotting something, hoping that I'd rise to that position instead. I wouldn't be surprised if Asher knew about this plan. The King sent Rogues to kill Glacia, because he wanted her to hate Asher and the Royals. He thought that if Glacia went to stand with the Insurgents, she would get rid of Asher, and I could take her out to claim the throne." He held up a vial of green liquid. "Because the King made me a dose of the Energiser. The one dose that works."
Ellione eyed the vial, becoming rather fearful. She tried to push Atlas off her. "So all this while, you've been plotting Asher's death?" Her voice broke.
Her thoughts went to what Asher had said about his Vision. She was right, it would be Atlas that would take the Energiser and kill Asher. She suddenly felt sick.
"It's not going to be successful. Glacia said she believes in him, she's on his side now. I need to tell the Insurgents about it so Dante can get rid of both of them first, and then I'll step in."
Ellione placed her palms against his chest and pushed him back, but to no avail. She struggled out of his grasp only half-heartedly.
Atlas' eyes were dark again. "Please don't leave me, Ells. I need you by my side."
"I want you just as much as you want me. But do you think I'll really be with someone who's plotting to kill my brother?"
"He's not your brother. He's a half-brother who's just using you. Watch how he doesn't acknowledge you in public, he cares more for his image than he does for you."
Ellione winced. "That's... that's not true." She said this, but could barely believe it herself. After all, Atlas was right. He had acted as if they were siblings when they were with each other, so she never got acknowledged as a princess. But he had been kind to her when there was no one else...
"This plan will take place, regardless of whether you're on board or not. But if you stay with me, Ellione, I promise I won't hurt Asher. I won't kill him, if you don't want me to."
Ellione was trembling. "He's your brother too, Atlas. Take Glacia down by all means, but not him. Please."
Atlas sat up a little, his eyes seemingly sincere. "Okay."
Ellione felt relief but wariness at the boy she desired so incredibly much. Her mind was a mix of confusion, but she could pick out one thing: I want you. She pulled him close.
"Then I'll be with you."
***
Glacia sighed, quietly begging the Queen to follow her to the hangar before Asher's plan wore off. Amalyse's eyes had almost seemed hollow, she looked like a train wreck. She was torn apart, breathing, but not quite alive. It was like looking into a mirror and seeing how her grief must have been.
"Please let go of the pillar, Your Highness," Glacia muttered as Amalyse shook with sobs at a marble pillar just outside of the hangar. If not for the promise she had made to Asher, she wouldn't have done this. She didn't feel like the best person to comfort Amalyse, after all, Orion had once wanted her dead.
Just as this happened, the doors open and Asher appeared, looking grand and handsome in his mourning suit, the colour a piercing white. Amalyse let out a strangled noise and rushed forward, clinging onto him.
"My son, my son." These were the only words Glacia had heard her say all day.
Asher was torn. He bent down and caught his mother, who suddenly seemed fragile and small compared to how much he had grown. He was whispering in her ear, little comforts that could not heal the pain but could ease the weight.
They had decided to leave during the King's funeral, since all the guards would be on the lookout for it. It was a time when people would least expect Amalyse to run away, so it was timely to save her and bring her to the Realm. Asher would go back and report that she had fled with grief, and that no one could touch her if she did not wish to come back. It was the best way to protect her, safe from all the threats.
Glacia kept trying to catch Asher's attention. She wished to tell him, I got you. We'll get through this. It was how he had dealt with her own grief.
Asher didn't look her way. He was pale and awfully blank as he caught Amalyse up and they climbed on board the jet, heading towards Dubai.
He had asked her that night to fetch his mother for him, but did not clarify if she was to tag along. Still, he didn't protest when Glacia swung herself on board. She eyed the crying figure at the back of the plane and headed forward next to the captain's seat.
Her hands slid over Asher's briefly as he put on his headphones. "You're mad at me."
There was no reply. Glacia tried again. "I was wrong, Ash. I won't bring anyone there again."
He leaned in Glacia's direction for a split second to turn something on, she closed her eyes as he brushed against her briefly. "It's not so much about you bringing a person to the place, but rather, who you bring, and why." He mumbled.
"What do you mean?"
Asher scowled. "It was a place that meant a lot to me. My place. I don't just bring anyone there, you know." He looked away.
I'm not just anyone. That thought wasn't making sense in Glacia's head. She tried to meet his eyes, but he wouldn't oblige. She felt the ice rise in her, morphing into defensiveness. He said it was his place? "I thought it was a common area, and that's why I brought him there. Or were you just being possessive about the place --"
Asher's eyes were a cold fire. "You're not helping, Glacia."
The plane took off and Glacia nestled deeper into her seat. She looked out of the window, watching the clouds pass by at breakneck speed. She guessed they would be able to reach their destination before the sunset.
They didn't speak to each other throughout. Glacia just couldn't guess why he would react like that. What was he feeling? If only she could get inside of his head...
"You're grieving. You said you wouldn't miss him, but he's your father after all. If you're hurting, I wish that you let it out on me so I, your socius, can heal you."
"It's not the grief that's making me feel this way..." He grimaced now. "What? You're only doing this because you think you're duty-bound as a socius? When I talked about how socius were warrior partners, having each other's back, I didn't mean you had to act like one intentionally."
Glacia winced. "What? It wasn't an act --"
Asher huffed, he was so distant now. Glacia couldn't stand this, and unbuckled her seatbelt, scooting over to where he sat. Asher was taken aback for a second, watching her solely. "What are you doing?"
Glacia placed her palm against his. She gave a pointed look to where fire brimmed at his fingertips. He was heating up, and she felt the heat flow into her, his virtus channelled into her. "You bragged about controlling your virtus well. I trusted that you would at least keep up with that."
Asher pulled away. She couldn't understand why there was so much hurt behind his eyes. It had seemed more than just grief, it was something else he had felt. "I need to fly this plane, Glacia. Don't distract me."
Glacia went back to her seat and leaned against the window. She yawned. "Wake me up when we're back in the Realm. And I pray you won't leave me in the mortal world while I'm asleep."
"If only I could."
"Hey!" Glacia threw a pillow at him. It had been adorning each of the velvet seats. She waved an accusatory finger at him. "If I wake up and find myself in the middle of the Atlantic Ocean, I'm going to scream. I'll call the Rogues and make them turn you into their pet chicken."
Asher abandoned his scowl for a second to seem slightly amused. "A chicken?"
"Chickens are cute."
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