T.W. Anxiety over one's past.

If possible, the building in front of them seemed more dark and brooding than it had the past few weeks. But, he supposed, that was because they were only driving past, and were never actually planning on going inside. They didn't know what lay behind the doors. They say to never judge a book by it's cover, but he did. And he couldn't help but feel the urge to run. Run away from the building, and away from the darkness that threatened to lay inside.

The building shouldn't seem as threatening as it did, but when he knew what could happen after they'd walked inside, he knew that he wouldn't ever feel the same. He knew what they were there for, and he didn't know whether he was excited or nervous. He knew he was both, but shouldn't he only feel one? He was there with his husband to see about adopting a child. They'd called the people inside, and asked to meet some of the children. They'd explained what kind of child they'd wanted, but they were open to any of the children in there. If it was up to his husband, they'd adopt all the kids, but they weren't financially stable enough for that. They lived comfortably, and could afford one child. That was it.

He looked over at his husband and smiled, noticing he looked nervous too. He reached his hand out, and smiled as it was taken welcomingly. One thing that they swore that would never do, even as they grew older, and had been together for too many years to really remember, was that they would never stop acting like a teenage couple. They'd been married for 5 years, and boyfriends for 10. They'd been together all through high school, and college, and any distance that was put between them, didn't matter, they were able to get through anything, because they loved one another. Their pasts didn't matter, and they were happy building their own small family. Small, but full of love.

After a deep breath from both males, they took a step forward, getting closer to the front door. They weren't sure why they were so nervous, maybe it was the memories from one's childhood, that still haunted them, from their mistreatment, but they pushed forward anyway. As long as they had their husband's hand in their own, they were okay.

They knocked at the large Iron doors, and waited for the owner of the orphanage to answer the door. They didn't know why the doors were so heavy, or why it felt more like a prison, but they knew at least one more child would be free of it. No matter their demons, or flaws. They would be saved, and as much as it pained them, it would only be one. Hopefully, they would be back in a few years to adopt another child, but they knew they couldn't promise that, even though they wanted to more than anything.

The door opened to reveal a middle aged woman, who looked like she would much rather spend her time dealing with cats than kids of all ages. She seemed to dislike her job, and if they ever conversed, she would be rather monotonous. He sighed as they were let into the building. He could hear the distant noise of kids running around and squealing with happiness. It was nice to know that some kids were able to make friends and be happy, even without actual parents.

As they made their way to the desk, they noticed all the small posters littering the walls, some were educational, others were fun and from magazines, mostly puppies and kittens. He looked on in awe, if only where he was from looked like this. The pale purple walls, the slightly red carpet, and the posters were almost enough to forget how tough the exterior looked. He knew he was wrong for judging, especially since every time they'd been past there before, the doors weren't iron, and the building wasn't dark, but still, he knew how bad his anxiety could get when he was reminded of his childhood.

He smiled at the lady behind the desk. She was younger, and seemed sweeter, more like the children's first teacher. He couldn't help but notice how professional she looked, even though she was around children a lot. He would have thought they would be dressed in t-shirts and jeans. They must have a dress code for certain staff.

She smiled warmly at him, as they passed through. Her smile seemed to brighten when she noticed that they were together, and it wasn't another 'normal' couple. She opened the door through to the main part of the orphanage for them, and exchanged very few words. She must have been the one they spoke to on the phone.

As soon as the door shut behind them, Roman was filled with a familiar sense of dread, reminding him of when he first went to the orphanage he stayed at. If it weren't for his husband's hand in his own, he would have left the building.

As he surveyed the crowd of children, in what seemed to be the mess hall, two stood out to him. A boy and a girl. At least, that's what they looked like from the back. They were huddled close together on the farthest bench, and no one seemed to venture near them, or even want to be there. They seemed afraid of them. They also seemed to be the oldest in the orphanage, and that made his heart ache. He knew what it was like to be the oldest, knowing you had no chance of a home. He didn't want that for them.

His husband seemed to have noticed them too, and met his gaze. A silent agreement passed between them, and they made their way over to them.

A few gasps erupted from the few kids that noticed them, but everyone seemed too wrapped up in what they were doing to even notice the possible parents wandering around.

As they sat in front of the two teenagers, they gained their attention. Upon closer inspection, and based on looks alone, they were siblings, twins, and were male and female. They seemed skeptical as to why they were being sat with. Yet, it didn't phase the two males. They were happy to talk to them and get to know them.

-

A few hours passed, and they had to leave, but they made sure to promise that they would take home the twins, who they had learned a lot about, especially about why they always sat alone.

Roman knew how they felt from past experience, but he vowed that no one would go through that, especially not two 15 year olds, who didn't know any better. The eldest twin, Emily, or River as they preferred, hated who they were, they hated their body, and they didn't want to be female. As for the boy, Ethan, he tolerated himself, he was fine with his gender. Both hated their sexuality, they thought it made them unnatural, and when they saw Patton and Roman, they felt better instantly, and they knew they weren't alone.

The two husbands spoke with the receptionist, and they filled out the paperwork they needed, and went home, ready to sort out what they needed to, in order to make their home as accommodating as need be.

-

After a week of constant back a forth between their home and the orphanage, Roman and Patton were finally ready to welcome their two new children into their home.

They knew they only set out for one, but when they saw River and Ethan, they knew they couldn't only take one. It wasn't fair. They were all the other had.

As promised, River and Ethan walked into their new home, with their new dads, and were instantly in awe. Their house wasn't the largest, but it was definitely bigger than an apartment.

River was the first to find their bedroom.

Both bedrooms were minimal, due to Patton and Roman knowing very little about either teen, so they knew they had to shop for more decorations, but River seemed thrilled with what they had.

Ethan loved his room, and Roman knew he would, due to how similar he was to Ethan when he was 15.

-

After a few months of them living together, they had become a tightly knit little family, and none of them would have it any other way.

1417 words

I know very little about orphanages and adoption, so please excuse any incorrect information.

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