Anyone else furiously (sometimes literally) play Superstar SMTown, JYPNation, or BTS? Because those mobile games will be the death of me.

...

Junmyeon's POV

...

I once again found myself at Yixing's door, feeling my heart slam against my ribs for no apparent reason. Except for maybe this time it was because I was finally coming to terms with what was happening to me. I raised a fist and knocked, waiting to hear if there was any movement. Much to my delight, there was. After a few moments, Yixing threw open the door, and my jaw nearly hit the floor.

"Prince Junmyeon, hello," he said calmly, like he didn't know he was dressed up. "What brings you here?" I finally picked my jaw up, and I gave him a funny look.

"Can't I come see you after I get done with my prior engagements?" I asked him. "After all, you are my guest." He seemed to think about that.

"I suppose," he said, and his slightly aloof tone felt like a punch to my gut. What was happening? "How was your date today?" he asked, leaning against the doorway with his arms crossed. I nearly choked on my saliva.

"It was...nice," I answered carefully. "How did you know I had a date today?" He lifted a shoulder in a shrug, and I fought back the urge to scream. It was like I didn't know him at all again, and I hated it. Where was my smiling, happy, Yixing that I adored so much? "Hey, I was thinking," I continued, hoping to shake off the awkward atmosphere. "Once this weather finally clears up, would you like to walk through Seoul with me? It's a beautiful city."

"That's very nice of you," Yixing said, everything coming out sounding careful and calculated. "Yes. That would be nice. In the mean time, is there anything I should know about while I'm here?"

"No, not really," I said, feeling my spirits sink. My Yixing was gone, replaced by a boy who's walls were so high he couldn't possibly see over them. "I'm a bit tired. I think I'll go sleep for a bit. Maybe this weather will lighten up." I tried for a smile, but he didn't seem in the mood for jokes. His neutral expression dropped into a frown, and I sighed quietly. "I will see you later Prince Yixing," I mumbled, dropping into a clumsy bow.

"Until later Prince Junmyeon," he responded, and I didn't dare look him in the eye. I turned and walked briskly away, hearing his door click shut behind me. What the hell just happened here? That wasn't the Yixing that had been keeping me company. That was Prince Yixing, a display model for the world to see. Not the boy I was falling so hard, so fast for.

Instead of going to my room like I should have, I found myself wandering aimlessly around, no end destination in mind. Maybe if I kept moving I could just forget about all of this. I passed the kitchens, the dining hall, the throne room, countless spare rooms and guest rooms. I passed rooms whose sole purpose was for passions. A piano and violin in one. A small stage with spotlights in another. I couldn't say my parents didn't shower me with affection, because they did. I had everything I could ever think I needed.

Except a clue about my future. I didn't have that, as much as I wanted it. The only thing I knew for certain was, whatever the outcome, it seemed I was destined to be unhappy. If I did hide what I felt and took a bride, I'd fear my love would forever be false, built only on a sense of duty and not of any actual affection. And if I did ever mention how I felt to my parents... Well, I wouldn't be "Prince Junmyeon" much longer after that. Princes couldn't like other princes. It was like some unspoken rule, and breaking it was beyond taboo.

I found myself mounting the staircase to the tower, an area that was normally forbidden. But right now I didn't particularly care. I emerged into a musty room that looked like it hadn't been used in years. I stalked to the windows, throwing the curtains aside. I sulked, feeling simultaneously tired and wide awake all the same time. Life was complicated. Way more complicated than it needed to be.

"What are you doing up here?" I turned to the sound of my mother's voice. "One of the guards said he saw you come this way," she continued, sidling up beside me. I turned back to the window, swiping my fingers through the dust. "Junmyeon," mother said softly. I felt her hand in my hair, something she always used to do when I was small. I sighed. "What's wrong baby boy?" she asked.

"Nothing mother," I lied, praying she wouldn't dig any deeper. But her thoughtful look had me tense. "It's... Yixing," I admitted. "We didn't fight, but, something happened. And I don't know how to explain it, because I don't even know myself." Mother just stared, taking that all in. "It's silly," I said.

"But it's bothering you," she pointed out. "I don't like seeing you upset." I bit my lip and turned away. To hell with my feelings sometimes. "You can talk to me you know," she added. "I'd like to help you." For a long time, I didn't say anything. I just watched the rain making patterns on the dirty glass.

"It's not something I can easily explain," I answered at last. "And it's not a problem that's just going to go away in a day." I watched her reflection on the window in front of me.

"You think I don't know you're unhappy huh?" she asked at last, and it felt like someone punched me in the gut once again. "I'm sorry about breakfast the other day Junnie." I refused to look at her. "I know we promised you. I didn't forget. The Zhang's decided, basically the night before, that they were ready to sign the treaty, so we had to rush over there." Her hand ghosted over my hair again. "I promise I'll make it up to you. On a day when we aren't so busy. We'll go out and have another mommy and Junnie breakfast, like we used to do when you were younger."

"Really?" I asked, skeptical of anything she said. It wasn't like I didn't want to trust her, but I knew how busy they were.

"I promise," she vowed. "And Junmyeon, you know you can tell me anything, right?" I remained silent. "I know it has something to do with why you haven't been very enthusiastic about the dates your father insists he set you up on," she continued, and my whole body tensed. "I just want you to know that, whatever it is that's troubling you, it will never determine how much I love you." I finally turned to her, glancing up. She smiled down at me, laugh lines appearing at the corners of her eyes, and I was suddenly struck my how beautiful she looked. No wonder father fell for her. Anyone would. "I just want you to know that I will love you no matter what." She kissed my forehead. "Don't be late for dinner tonight. We do have guests right now."

"I won't," I promised. She turned to leave. "Wait, mother," I said, and she turned to me. "Thank you." She smiled once again, a smile filled with love and life and all sorts of good in the world. She turned and made her way down the stairs. I stood at the window a moment longer. I wished someone would smile at me like that. I wished that I could marry someone I truly loved, rather than settling for something that would only lead to loneliness.

...

Yixing's POV

...

"Sire, you're really starting to worry me." I looked up briefly to see that Luhan did indeed look worried. But I let myself face plant back into the blanket, hoping to muffle out the world a bit. I felt the bed dip beside me. "Yixing, please," Luhan said quietly, and I finally looked up to face him fully. "What's wrong Xing?"

"Nothing." I paused. "Everything. I don't know Lulu. I really don't." But I wished I did, so I wouldn't be feeling this way. "Do you think he likes me?" I suddenly blurted.

"I mean, I'm sure he does," Luhan replied, but I shook my head. I wanted to know. Or rather needed to at this point. "I can't read him Xing, or I'd try to tell you. He's got his guard up a lot. But," he added, holding up a finger as I went to say something. I stopped. "It's been dropping a bit when he's around you. That much I can tell." Whatever that meant. "But yours came back up today. Why?"

"You overheard that?" I asked in disbelief. "I thought you were sleeping."

"Oh, I was," he assured me. "You think you grow up in my profession without learning a couple tricks?" There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, and I couldn't help but smile. "But yes, I did in fact hear that conversation. Why are you pushing him away. He came to see you after his date. That's got to count for something, right?"

"I don't know," I mumbled, easing myself back down so I was face first on the mattress again.

"You're the first person he thought of when he returned," Luhan once again pointed out. "He sought your company first. Trust me, it counts." For a long time, neither of us said anything. I felt the bed move as he rose. "Sire, I have something to attend to in a little bit. Are you going to be okay while I do so? Should I call one of the Kim's staff to keep you company?"

"I'll be fine," I said. "Just go Luhan. You're dismissed." I risked a glance up, only to see him staring down at me, a frown etched into his features. "That's an order Luhan," I said firmly, suddenly wanting nothing more than to be all alone. He blinked, looking a bit taken aback. But soon he bent at the waist.

"As you wish sire," he said quietly. "I will see you tomorrow." Slowly, he backed out of the room, closing the door softly behind him. I released the breath I'd been holding, flopping back down but rolling to my side instead. I hated ordering him around like that, but unless I did so, there was a good possibility he wouldn't have left at all.

Now that I was alone, the silence was almost suffocating. Even at home, if I was alone, there was something going on in the background. Staff talking to themselves. Or mother and father talking in the room next to mine. Someone playing the piano down the hall. Here it seemed no one dared visit this wing of the palace. And it felt lonely. Then I remembered Junmyeon's room was only a few doors down, and I felt a twinge of sympathy once again.

"Ah, young Prince Yixing." I lifted my head, seeing Queen Kim framed in the doorway. "I knocked a few times, but you didn't answer." She smiled. "Lost in your own little world, are we?"

"Um, yes ma'am," I said, sitting up. "What brings you here?" She sat on the edge of my borrowed bed, and I was suddenly stuck with a mental image of her doing this same thing countless times with Junmyeon. I felt slightly drawn to her, so I crawled over until I too was sitting on the edge of the bed. I drew the music box onto my lap from the bedside table, running my fingers over the lid.

"Motherly instincts I guess," she answered at last. "You are only a few months younger than my own son, so I suppose it would be natural for me to seek what's bothering you as well." I glanced down. "Is it my son?" she asked.

"I, uh, don't particularly know myself," I said honestly. I opened and closed the lid of the box, briefly hearing the sweet melody from inside. "I'm confused by life," I continued. "I don't always know what I want to do with it, as crazy as that sounds." I sighed, setting the box aside. "Junmyeon's been very nice though," I added as an afterthought. "He's made me feel very welcome."

"I'm glad," she said, reaching over and ruffling my hair. I smiled slightly. "It's been great having someone else here, even if you haven't seen us much. It's nice to have someone for Junnie to wake up to. It's nice seeing him so genuinely happy." With each thing said, I felt the knot in my stomach clenching tighter. "If you ever find yourself in the neighborhood, whatever the occasion, know our doors are always open to welcome you back."

"Thank you very much," I said. "I'll remember that in the future. And thank you for the opportunity to learn right now, and for making me feel so welcome. I appreciate it."

"You're a good kid Yixing," she said at last, rising. "No wonder Junmyeon seems so smitten with you." I simply stared. She patted my cheek affectionately. "Dinner is with the whole family tonight. I hope you'll be there."

"I will," I promised. "And Queen Kim," I added as she turned to leave. I bowed deeply. "Thank you for talking with me."

"Any time Yixing," she said. "Any time." And with that she left. And I felt as confused as ever.

...

Junmyeon's mom isn't all bad huh.