So, this is chapter 20. Kind of hard to believe huh?

Well hot damn. I wasn't going to post this chapter until I was completely done with chapter 27, but this story reached a thousand reads, unbeknownst to me. Holy crap guys. Thank you so much.

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Junmyeon's POV

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I awoke this morning with the same heart-wretching feeling I had two years ago, all for the same reason. Yixing was leaving today. And even if I hadn't spent every waking moment with him, I was dreading it all the same. I didn't want him to leave. Not again. It was like I was sixteen again, experiencing it all for the first time. Feeling the way my stomach clenched at the thought of watching him walk out our doors. Feeling my heart ache at the thought of losing him all over again.

I pulled him closer to myself, holding onto him for dear life. I buried my face in his hair. I felt tears stinging my eyes once again. I knew he was going back, yet I was still getting emotionally worked up. And for no good reason. Yixing wasn't mine. He never really was. But it still felt heart breaking to basically lose him a second time, and I couldn't control it this time either. I couldn't lose him again, no matter how much my mind said it didn't matter.

I loved him far too much for that to make a difference anyway.

Yep. If this whole week had done one thing, it was let me finally come to test with what was going on to me. Even if I suspected it before, it was now painfully obvious. I loved him. I always had. It was stupid of me to try and hide that feeling away. But now it was far too late. He was going to go home to Ying Yue, and in four months he was getting married. Any effort I put in now would all be for nothing. I was too late. The person I loved most in the world would never be mine.

"Junmyeon." An alarmed voice punctured the silence. "Junmyeon, hey, it's okay," Yixing continued, switching our positions so he was hugging me close. I buried my face in his chest in an attempt to stifle the sobs wracking my body. "Junmyeon, what's wrong?" he asked as calmly as he could manage, his fingers gliding through my hair. "What's going on."

"I love you," I managed to choke out, and his fingers stilled. "I love you so much Xing. Fuck." I squeezed my eyes shut, but the wetness still leaked out. "I'm sorry I couldn't tell you this sooner, and I'm sorry it's now, but I had to tell you." I took a ragged breath, hoping it would calm me down. But the tears only immediately formed again. "I love you Yixing." Two years worth of pent up feelings were finally spilling over. "I love you, I love you, I love you..."

We both laid in silence as I finally managed to calm myself down. I swallowed lung fulls of air, my breath coming out in ragged gasps. I still couldn't look at him, even when I'd returned to normal. Through this whole thing he'd been silent. I wondered what he thought. He did hold me tight as I cried though, never once letting go. When I finally did muster up the courage to glance up at him, I wasn't all that surprised to see his eyes shiney, visible tear tracks on his cheeks. I took a deep breath.

"I love you too," he finally responded. "So, so much. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things, but mostly I'm sorry I didn't say it to you sooner than this." I risked another glance up. He looked far away. "And I'm really sorry for everything you're feeling now. You shouldn't be feeling it."

"I only do because I care about you," I answered, glancing down, grabbing a fistful of blanket in frustration. "But it doesn't even matter, does it? All of this, everything we're saying, it's all for nothing." He flinched, and all I could do was sigh again. "I knew falling in love all over again was never going to be good. But I did it anyway."

"I'm sorry," he replied, placing a kiss to my forehead. "I'm sorry. I don't know what else to tell you Junnie." My nickname still sounded so wonderful falling from his lips. "I can apologize to you over and over until I'm blue in the face, but it doesn't change anything." And that was the bitter truth. That no matter what we did or what we said, nothing would change. "I really wish I would've voiced that sooner. Or figured it out sooner. Something. Anything." He scooted down so we were face to face.

"It's like losing you all over again," I said quietly, watching as the waterworks began. I gently brushed a thumb under his eye. "I don't know if I can handle it Xing. The first time was hard enough. But this time... I don't get another chance. This is it. And it kills me inside, because damn it, I just want to wake up every morning like this." I paused, and he took the moment to connect our lips in a quick, yet meaningful, kiss.

"You don't think I haven't dreamed of it?" he asked me. "Because I have. Numerous times." He settled back down, trailing his fingers down my spine. I shivered. "As always, I'm sorry."

"There's really nothing to be sorry for," I said at last. "It is what it is. We knew it would be this way." I gazed at him steadily. I stared sadly back.

"Yeah," he answered. "We should get up, even if it's..." He trailed off and reached blindly behind him. He held his phone above his face. "Seven thirty in the morning." Reluctantly, we both rose. He got off the bed and began to gather his things and put them in his suitcase. "I shouldn't waste much time," he murmured quietly. "I do have someone waiting for me at home."

"Yeah." I raked my hands through my hair. I'd just woken up and I was already sick of the day. "I can see you out to the limo but that's it. I have to prepare for my trip to London."

"I know," he answered. "Wanna meet back up in a bit?" I could only nod, getting off his bed and padding softly down to my room. We'd stayed in his room this time, probably because staying in mine would be too painful to bear. I sat on the edge of my bed instead of getting dressed, wishing I could rewind time a little, just so I could have a little more time with him.

My gaze travelled over a small package on my nightstand. My gift from the Zhangs. Still unopened. I drew it to myself, carefully peeling back the paper. I smiled softly when i realized the simple wooden box inside was. I flipped the lid open, and a quiet melody filled the air, but I realized with a start it wasn't just any melody. It was the melody to the song I sang to him. That meant this music box... It had been custom made.

My dear, my dear, love you...

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Yixing's POV

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My suitcase was packed. Breakfast was already consumed. Luhan was inspecting his room to make sure he didn't leave anything behind. The limo driver was pulling the limo up to the doors for us. And I felt sick to my stomach.

I was transported back to a scared sixteen year old. A heart broken one. Junmyeon was right on one thing; I was leaving him behind all over again. Only this time, I left with the knowledge that he loved me, well and truly. It just made it all the harder. Because while he smiled and joked with me and Luhan, and while he put up a good front about the whole thing, just under the surface, he was breaking. And so was I. This time it felt like I was leaving a whole part of me behind.

But reality called. And it said that this, us, we were never meant to be anyway. That all we'd get to have is stolen kisses in the middle of the night and holding each other as we slept. And it would only last a couple days. When I got home, I would begin my wedding planning. And while I liked Ying Yue, the feeling paled in comparison to the way Junmyeon made me feel. It always did. I was just too naive to see it.

"Ready?" Luhan asked. I started, blinking at him a few times. "Didn't realize you were spaced out," he said. "Are you ready to go Xing?"

"Yeah," I replied. We made our way to the limo. Junmyeon was there, giving some instructions to the driver. When he saw us, however, he stopped. "King Junmyeon," I said with a bow, feeling my throat constrict. "It was a pleasure to stay with you this week. Thank you for hosting us."

"Thank you for staying, Prince Yixing," he replied with a bow of his own. "Please, do visit again. Safe travels to you." He stepped back, biting his lower lip. "Take care of yourself Xing," he added lowly. "I'll see you at the wedding."

"Yeah," I said, allowing Luhan to shuffle me into the limo. No sooner had we buckled and we were off. I glanced behind me. I expected to see him standing in the driveway once again, but to my shock he was already gone. I guess not that I blamed him. I wouldn't have been able to stand there and watch him disappear.

"Yixing?" Luhan asked tentatively. "Are you alright?" And with that simple question, a switch inside me flipped. I buried my face in my hands as sobs were yanked out of me. I felt a comforting hand on my shoulder. I'd tried. I'd tried so hard to move on. To forget. And when we got here, I told myself that I couldn't fall in love a second time. But I did it anyway. I didn't want to get hurt again.

"Life sucks Luhan," I hiccupped. "Why? Why did it have to be him?" I took a ragged breath, swiping my hand across my eyes.

"Feel better?" he asked when my cries finally subsided. I shook my head. "I've never seen you act this way," Luhan continued, rubbing soothing circles on my shoulders. "Not even when we left the first time. What's going on?"

"I love him," I said, leaning my head on the window and closing my eyes. "He said he loves me too. I'm so stupid. I should have waited. Now I really feel like I'm going to be unhappy in my marriage. I thought I was ready. I thought I could handle it but I can't. Damn it Luhan even when I wasn't around him, or even if I didn't talk to him, he still invaded my life. I just want to lie down at night and wake up every morning and he's there. I want him in my life. But it's too late."

"Because you're engaged," Luhan replied. "There's still time to back out you know. You don't have to go through with the wedding." But again, I shook my head. No. No, I couldn't just back out of it. It was four months away, and in five I took control from my father. I needed a wife, or the public would have an uproar.

I watched the world outside pass by in a blur, feeling hot tears stinging my eyes once again. Damn those romantic movies I used to watch with mother and father never mentioned how painful it actually was to leave the love of your life behind. This time it felt times as worse as the last. Because he was right. After this there was no more chances.

"Yixing?" Luhan said again after an uncomfortably long stretch of silence. I flicked my gaze to him. "Are you going to be alright? You have me worried." I stifled another sigh, finally sitting up straight.

"Of course I'll be alright," I lied, and judging from his look he didn't believe me for a second. "I have to be alright. I'm going home to my family and my fiance. What more can a guy ask for?" Luhan still looked unconvinced, and I allowed my facade to drop away. "I don't know Lu," I said. "My world is tipped upside down, but I have to pretend everything is normal and I'm not breaking down inside. Maybe in a week I'll feel better. Maybe tomorrow. And maybe not for a few months. But right now, I'm not okay."

"It's not good for you to bottle up your emotions," Luhan pointed out. "I'm always here if you need to talk." I nodded. He would be. Ever my loyal shadow, but I wouldn't know what to do with my life if he wasn't a part of it. "Or there's plenty of people for you to talk to if you don't always talk to me. But please, don't always keep it to yourself."

"I won't," I promised. "Thank you, Luhan." He nodded, and I resumed watching the world speed by. This was one thing I'd always keep to myself though. No one else could know I was hopelessly in love with the king of another country.

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I realized both chapters ten and twenty both deal with Yixing going back to China and that was not planned I swear.