Jesus lol. Lots of comments last chap. It almost rivals chapter 11.

What to write about what to write about what to write about.

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Yixing's POV

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"It's an easy enough conversation to have," I mumbled to myself, flipping through pages of my notebook even though I had no notes on this subject. "He's your boyfriend. This isn't rocket science." So why did my stomach insist on doing flips like it was at a skate park? Probably because of the last time this conversation was brought up. The end result played over and over in my mind.

This time will be different. We got this.

"Junmyeon?" I knocked on the door to his office, but no noise came from within. "Junmyeon? Baby? Come on and open up. I want to talk to you." But only silence greeted me. I frowned at the hard wood. I knew he was in there. He'd been in there all morning. I tested the knob, and found it thankfully unlocked. I swung the door open, squinting at the dim light. "Junmyeon?" I called into the dark room. I closed the door behind me. I approached his desk slowly, and when my eyes fully adjusted I chuckled. I pulled one of the earbuds out of his ear and leaned down to peck his forehead. "Wake up baby," I whispered to him.

"Uh." He lifted his head from the desk. Another chuckle as I smoothed down his ruffled hair. "Did I fall asleep again?" he asked sheepishly. I could only nod, smiling oh so fondly at his natural cuteness. "What's up?" I pulled a chair around so I was facing him. He swiveled in his office chair to face me, removing his other earbud.

"I want to talk to you about...that," I said carefully, watching his face screw. I held up a hand. "It's been a few weeks since we've talked about it. And I know it's an uncomfortable subject for the both of us. But we need to talk seriously about it." He folded his hands in his lap, giving me his focused, undivided attention. "I know you're scared Jun. I get that, I truly do. This is scary for me too. It's something I've never gotten a chance to explore either. We both grew up believing we'd never get this opportunity. But...but I want to do it."

"I know." His voice remained surprisingly steady. "A lot about this relationship scares me Xing. A lot about any relationship scares me. It's not like I've had the best track record with these things." He took a deep breath, closing his eyes. I reached out and threaded his fingers through mine, giving them a gentle squeeze. His eyes fluttered open and he shot me a lopsided smile. "And I know it's something you want to do. I want to as well. Eventually. I still don't know if I'm ready." I gave a little sigh.

"Alright Junnie," I said. I released one of his hands so he could get back to work, but kept one in mine, tracing patterns on his palm with my fingers. We sat side by side quietly for a long time, soaking in each other's presence. I would never tire of this man. We may squabble from time to time, but at the end if the day, this was the man I loved beyond all measure. And nothing would ever change that fact.

I couldn't lie and say I wasn't disappointed though, because I kind of was. And maybe the tiniest bit hurt. Was I not good enough for him? Did I not...turn him on? God these thoughts needed to go away. I glanced sideways at him. Observed the way his brows furrowed at his laptop screen. Watched his fingers tap restlessly against the desk top. I scooted my chair a bit closer and rested my head on his shoulder. He turned and kissed the top of my head, sending a jolt down my spine. I did love the simple, homey life we'd created for ourselves.

"I can tell you're bothered." I glanced up to Junmyeon, but he'd barely looked away from the computer. "I can tell from your posture. You're tense. Talk Xing." He closed the lid of the laptop and focused on me. "We're never going to get anywhere if we don't talk to each other." I glanced up to the ceiling like it provided me the answers I sought.

"It's stupid," I finally said. "Nothing to worry about." His fingers found my chin and he forced me to look at him, his expression setting my skin alight when our eyes met. I shivered.

"Nothing you think is stupid," he said matter-of-factly. "Please talk to me Xing. I know neither of us is always the best with words. But we can't grow together if we don't try, okay? And I want forever with you, so we'd better try quick." He released me, leaving a tiny trail of kisses where his fingers had been.

Damn it Junmyeon.

"...stop." I managed to get out before I did something I'd regret doing later. His actions paused and his gaze once again met mine, eyebrow rising in confusion. "I'm going to be very blunt with you, okay? If it makes you uncomfortable, say so." He nodded slowly, features morphing to match his confusion better. "Do I not turn you on?" His eyes widened, and if this situation wasn't dead serious, I might have laughed. "I've made my stance on the matter quite clear, obviously. But I have to know. Otherwise..." Otherwise what, Yixing? I'd leave him? Never. But... I was still a male, and I still had needs to fulfill. I guess I had to know whether he could provide that.

"Jesus, you weren't kidding about being blunt." His attempt at a joke failed when he looked about two seconds away from panic. "Of course you turn me on Xing. Damn, have you seen yourself?" Despite myself, I blushed. "I just... I... Ugh why is this so hard." He kind of laughed. But I wasn't laughing. I had to know this answer. Today. "Of course you do babe." Ouch, pet name. Laying it on extra smooth. "I guess I'm just not sure what to do about it. No one else has ever made me feel this way, so it has never been a problem before."

"Ah," I said. "Gotcha." I leaned forward and pecked his cheek. "Alright Junnie. Thank you for clarifying for me. When you feel ready, just say so, okay?" He nodded, and once again we lapsed back into silence. I put my head on his shoulder and watched him work.

Simple, domestic life. How I loved it so.

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Junmyeon's POV

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I thought talking with Yixing about everything would make me feel better. I thought it would fix everything. But all it did was leave me feeling like I'd swallowed a large rock and it sat in the pit of my stomach, taunting me. It was more than I'd ever admitted to anyone. I had no idea he thought that why, but in hindsight I could see how it was possible.

Do I not turn you on.

It was a stupid question to ask. Short answer: yes. Long answer...was a bit more complicated to explain. I couldn't exactly put into words how he made me feel. I could just tell when the time came to it. He made me feel things I'd never felt before. And it exhilarated and terrified me all at once.

These thoughts plagued me through the rest of my work day, and all through dinner as well. Yixing carried on like nothing ever happened, chatting away and cracking jokes and making my heart thump unevenly in my chest. I hung on every word that passed his lips. Watched with adoration at the way he talked with his whole body. Let his laugh fill my eardrums and warm me to my very core. I loved this man. Everything about him. I always had.

"Wonsik and Kyungsoo really are a formidable team," Yixing said as he changed into pajamas. I lounged on the bed, already changed. I glanced his way. He tugged his shirt over his head, exposing his back to me. I gulped. It's not like I'd never seen him naked. I had. Plenty of times. So why did tonight feel so... different? I sat up a bit straighter as Yixing pulled a shirt over his head, sliding under the covers next to me. He barely had time to settle before I was on him, attacking him with kisses. He laughed a little. "Jun, that tickles," he said.

"Hmph," I huffed. I trailed kisses down his jaw and neck, and when I got to just before his shirt collar, I nipped oh so gently at the exposed skin. His breath hitched and he grabbed me by the waist, digging his nails into me. I repeated the action, albeit harder this time. Then I moved to do the same thing down the other side of his face.

"Junnie," he said, and his tone about drove me nuts. Deep and husky, a fae cry from what it usually was. "Junmyeon." Finally he pulled me away. A hungry sort if light shone in his eyes, and he quickly shook his head. "Baby, I know we just talked about this. But please. Don't do something that I'll hate myself later for."

"But what if I want to?" I whispered. His expression darkened, and he rose. He grabbed ahold of my shoulders and shoved me back until my back hit the bed. I gazed up at him hovering over me, biting my lip and waiting for this moment to pass. He placed his hands on opposite sides of my head, easing himself down so he practically covered me.

"Are you sure Junnie?" he asked, choking over my name with desire. This Yixing... Man why did I ever wait for this Yixing? The powerful, in control one. I nodded. "I need you to speak baby," he continued. He pinned my arms above my head and kissed me down my neck and shoulder. Then he lifted my shirt a bit and kissed down my stomach. I squirmed under his hold.

"God Yixing, yes," I panted. He grinned, sliding up so we were face to face.

"Alright baby," he said. He reached over to my dresser, and I felt heat crawling to my cheeks when he easily flipped open the top drawer and found a little bottle. "I'll take good care of you, okay?"

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Yixing's POV

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"Wow..." I breathed. It was long after Junmyeon fell asleep, but I felt far too wired to settle down. That had been... incredible. Junmyeon wasn't experienced, but that hardly mattered. Damn it was a good time.

I glanced down to the boy in my arms, sleeping peacefully with his head on my bare chest. I prayed no one would come to wake us in the morning. They were in for quite the surprise. I brushed a stray strand of hair from hos face, feeling him shift beside me. He mumbled something in his sleep I couldn't quite figure out, but right now I felt too buzzed to dwell on it. I still couldn't quite believe tonight was the night.

I always pictured my first time with Junmyeon would be...well, a bit more special. Maybe set up some fancy date beforehand. Or maybe during holiday. All those cliched things we adored. Rose petals and scented candles and satin sheets. I didn't picture it to be a random Thursday night with no warning. Then again, a lot about this man surprised me. And it wasn't a bad thing. It was so, so good.

Today also served as an important lesson for the two of us. If we wanted to grow our relationship at all, we would have to start actually talking to each other. We would have to voice our concerns if we wanted to be heard. Neither of us were mind readers. And neither of us was perfect. There was still a lot we were figuring out. But we would figure it out together.

"Oh Junmyeon," I whispered into the quiet night air, broken only by the sound of his steady breathing. "Oh baby boy. I love you so, so much." I kissed the top of his head. "I always have." I let out a huge yawn, settling myself a bit more comfortably. "I always will." I closed my eyes, lulled to sleep by the heat radiating off my boyfriend and the sound of his heartbeat.

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AUTHOR NIM IS AWKWARD AND I'M SORRY BUT YA'LL ASKED FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS SO HERE IT IS.

I'll let tour imaginations fill the gaps on this one. We ain't about to lose our PG rating for a PG13.