So here we are. Wowza. I never pictured getting to THIS point, that's for sure.

Just a forewarning for everyone I don't know if this is going to be in chronological order. I'm just gonna write whatever I think up. But I think it's only right we start at the catalyst for most of this story's plot. You ready? Here we go...

...

Yixing's POV

...

"But father," I kind of half whined. "I don't want to go out and do something today." Which at least was the truth. The last couple of months he'd really cracked down on me, shipping me off on date after date. It was exhausting. It was suffocating. I was tired of being paraded around like a Barbie doll. It was Saturday. I only wanted to eat breakfast in my favorite lounge next to my room with Luhan, in our pajamas, watching random shows on the TV.

"I don't care what you think." Father's cold tone sliced through the silence. My covers were tossed aside, and I winced at the sunlight streaming through the crack in my curtains. "Jiang Ying Yue's family is a very powerful one. They control a lot of the northern country." I pondered that for a minute. Most of my other dates were of a more minor royalty status. Ladies and young wealthy common folk. We knew of the Jiangs of course. We kept a close eye on them.

"Alright," I agreed at last, rising and stretching my arms above my head. I felt my back crack with the action, which reminded me randomly that I needed to make an appointment. I was pretty sure most seventeen year olds didn't sound like glow sticks when they moved. Father gave a satisfactory nod and strode off. I sighed, letting my shoulders drop only once he'd left. I didn't want to. I didn't want to do any of this. It was futile anyway.

Junmyeon.

I shuddered as his name flashed quickly through my mind, so fast it barely registered. Of course I remembered Junmyeon. He was a bit hard to forget. And maybe I should be contacting him more. But communication was a two way street, and he wasn't putting forth much effort either.

I took a quick, lukewarm shower. Just enough to scrub the dirt off me. If I stayed here any longer I'd lose all motivation to leave it. I changed myself into a sharp navy suit, no tie. Mother always said ties made me look older than I appeared, and I wasn't feeling it today. I faced myself in my vanity mirror. I looked sullen.

"Sire?" I breathed a sigh when a familiar voice spoke up. I turned as Luhan pushed his way into my room. He definitely didn't look ready for the day in a plain grey shirt and black shorts. He cocked his head to the side. "What are you all dressed up for?" he questioned. "I thought we were having breakfast in the lounge?"

"We were supposed to," I explained. "But father thinks I need to go be entertaining again. Doesn't he know by now I'm not always the most sociable of creatures?" Luhan gave a little chuckle, anf my shoulders sagged again. "I don't know how much longer I can keep this up Lu. Everyone I've met... They pale in comparison to what I had." I sat on the edge of my bed, gazing down at my socked feet like they had all the answers I sought. "What if I can't find anyone else? Not after..." I stopped abruptly. Some days it still felt taboo to say.

"Junmyeon?" Luhan asked pointedly. A flash of guilt coursed through me. By all accounts I should've been thrilled to bring him up. I should've been so, so proud to have been with him. But our time together terrified me more than anything. More than I admitted. Because after having a taste of it, I didn't want it to end. I wanted a future painted with him in it. I wanted happiness over duty.

Stop it! I closed my eyes as I screamed at myself internally. You can't think those thoughts! They're bad thoughts! He's not yours. He never was...

"Xing?" I felt fingers on my chin as it was lifted. Luhan's worried expression filled my vision. "Hey, it's alright," he added, switching tones quickly to the one I called his "soothing mom" voice. "Everything's gonna work out eventually." I sighed, grabbing his wrist and lowering his hand.

"I'd better get going," was all I responded with. "You're relieved kf duties for the day. Let's try for dinner in the lounge tonight instead." Still, he looked troubled. Nothing got passed him easily. He could tell I was trying to evade the subject matter. The honest truth right now was I didn't know how I felt. Well... I didn't know how I felt about my dates. But him... God if a person ever felt like home, he did.

I sat in the back of the limo, all alone, watching the beautiful countryside whir by outside the window. Soft music played from the small speaker near the front, some traditional song I knew I knew the name of but couldn't think of it right then. I leaned my head on my hand. It wasn't raining yet, but angry clouds hung heavy in the air, threatening to spill their contents any moment. Could I be a cloud for a day? No one complained about them having not found a partner yet. No one said anything when they poured out their frustrations.

"Sire, we're here." I jumped as the driver spoke, and it took me a second to realize that we'd stopped moving. I crawled out of the limo, brushing imaginary dust off my jacket and gazing up at a stunning older style castle. The stones were so well kept they practically glowed on their own. A moat around the front, a drawbridge lowered over that. Two guards stood at the ready, sizing me up as I approached. But when I got closer they hastily moved aside.

"Oh, Your Majesty," the one on the right said. "Our apologies. We didn't know you were coming so soon." I waved the matter aside and strode inside, my breath catching at the artwork on the walls in the main hall. Paintings so ancient we thought they'd been lost to time. An ornate sculpture dominated one wall to the right, a series of stained glasses, looking sporadic but stunning. Whoever this Jiang Ying Yue was, her parents certainly lived a lavish life.

"Prince Yixing," a deep baritone voice called out. I swiveled in place and saw an older gentleman, probably in his early forties, approaching me. He was dressed in a blood red suit and tie to match, a small crown pinned to his head. Ah. "Welcome, welcome." Mr. Jiang greeted, extending his hand in greeting. I accepted it, giving a curt nod. "Thank you for coming on such short notice," he continued to babble as he led the way inside the palace. "Ying Yue can't wait to meet you."

"I can't wait to meet her either," I replied politely. I was so good at going through the motions anymore the words rolled off like nothing. I said that to every father/daughter duo I met. I can't wait to meet her and the pleasure is all mine being staples of my vocabulary. I glanced around as we walked. Tapestries, ornately woven, littered the walls. I had to admire the beauty of their home. It was small, but they decorated it masterfully.

"I will be right back," Mr. Jiang said as he let me into what appeared to be a small throne room. I only nodded, moving off to study the ancient map on the wall behind their thrones. If only father knew what was behind these walls. I moved away from that after a bit, standing awkwardly in the middle of the room. My fingers itched to take out my phone and keep myself busy, but it was unprofessional at best. Actually, I kind of really wanted to talk to one specific person right now.

"Prince Yixing." This voice sent a jolt of electricity down my spine. I whirled around, coming face to face with a girl about my height. My breath hitched. She was beautiful. Sharply defined features, giving her a fierce look, but the little crinkles at the corners of her eyes gave away how much she smiled. Black hair braided across her head and down her back a bit. She was stunning, really.

"I... I..." I stuttered. What was wrong with me? It felt like someone deep fried my brain. Her hand flew up to cover her mouth as she giggled, and damn if the sound didn't about drive me wild.

"A poet, I see," she said, gently jabbing me in the side with her elbow. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you sire," she added. "You've been quite the talk of the town recently."

"I have?" I asked lamely. Another beautiful giggle that turned me to mush. I could get used to her giggles.

"Come," she said, hooking her arm with mine. "I have something I want to show you."

"M'kay," I mumbled, letting myself be dragged along. My final thought before the throne room doors closed was how there was a lingering scent of jasmine.

...

"Oh, sire, hello," Luhan greeted as I plowed into the lounge. "You're home already?" I threw myself onto the couch, placing a hand over my heart. It felt like my heart was trying to explode out of my chest right now. "Why so happy?" Luhan asked curiously, pausing his movie and scooting to the front of his chair. "You're all flushed. Are you sick?"

"No Lulu, not at all," I assured. "I'm over the moon right now." My date went so much better than I ever expected. She showed me the grand ball room. The gardens. Then we sat in a room together and I (badly) played her a song on the guitar. O was a bit rusty after not playing for awhile. But the sparkle in her eyes was more than worth fumbling over my notes. Luhan's brows drew together.

"You must like this girl?" he inquired. I felt my blush growing and I hid my face in my hands, mumbling something incoherent. "That's good Xing. I've only ever seen you like this one other time." And suddenly I  came crash landing back to earth. I removed my hands and sat up, staring fixedly at a point opposite me. Right.

"Junmyeon," I whispered. Luhan made a noise, though I couldn't quite decipher what it meant. "Damn it Lu why?" Silence, which either meant he was thinking or didn't have an answer at all. "Can't I just..." I trailed off, not even wanting to finish the thought. Because I didn't want it. I still wanted my future with him painted in it.

"You do whatever you think is right," Luhan finally cut in, reaching out and patting my knee. "You know I'll always support whatever decisions you make." I sank back against the cushions, nibbling my lips as I contemplated what to do.

"I think," I began hesitantly, turning to Luhan to watch his reaction. He urged me to continue. "I think I'm going to set up a second date with Ying Yue. We had a really good time today. And... I want more of it." I stared at my hands which I balled into fists on my lap. "Am I doing the right thing Lu?" I suddenly blurted. He arched an eyebrow. "This feels so...dirty I guess. After all, I lo..." I abruptly stopped. Luhan stayed quiet.

"I can't tell you what the right answer is," was all he said at last. "That's for you to decide. But if you do love him enough to want to make it work, let him know. For both your sakes."

"My head hurts," I announced, rising. "I'm gonna turn in. Goodnight Luhan."

"Goodnight sire." His worried tone faded as I left. I let myself into my room, and when the door closed I sank against it, sliding down until I was sitting against it. My hand went over my heart again.

Ka-thunk. Ka-thunk. Ka-thunk.

"Heart, what do I want?" I whispered to my empty room. "What do you say?" But it offered no advice. I groaned, my head thunking against the door as it fell back. Why were feelings so complicated? Why couldn't I seem to figure out what I wanted with my life? Sometimes I loathed the position I was in. I just wanted to be happy. Wholly and completely happy without a catch. Was that too much to ask?

...

Not necessarily the place everyone probably expected to start off. But I feel like this was definitely necessary. Both because of it being their first meeting, but also to show the turmoil he felt from the get go.