I am astounded.

I'm quite shocked that it didn't happen. I am so confused.

Muli akong huminga ng malalim before I decided to swim underwater again. My Lenses are activated and I can see the magnificent view of the sea. The corals are perfectly placed on the right edge of the sea floors and fishes underneath are totally refreshing to see. I tried to swim more but when I think my lungs screaming air I decided to pull myself up.

Sabay ng aking paghabol sa aking hininga ay ang aking pagkagulat when I saw Alastair standing with dominance in the small Yacht that he brought. Napalunok ako ng bahagya nang pasadaran ko ng tingin ang kabuaan ng binata.

Alastair is wearing hawaiian top orange shirt, matching it with his white khaki shorts.

Bakit ang yummy ng mga mashkelsh nito sa suot nitong damit? Dapat ay maluwag iyon sa kanya pero ang lumalabas, medyo humapit iyon sa kanya. Sharap!

Napailing ako ng bahagya sa tumatakbo na naman sa aking isipan. For once, Asia. Tama na muna ang kahalayan sa utak.

Tinalikuran ko siya nang ambang magsasalita ito at saka ako nagsimulang lumangoy patungo sa maliit na bangka na dinala ko.

Hindi pa ako nakakalimang kampay nang marinig ko na may tumalon sa dagat at biglang may humawak sa paa ko sa ilalim. Bahagya akong napairit dahil doon but I was stunned when I felt somehow hugging me behind.

"Where do you think you are going?" he asked me with his deep baritone voice.

Pakiramdam ko nag-init ang aking pisngi sa naging tanong nito. No, hindi pala sa tanong nito. Pakiramdam ko nag-init ang pakiramdam ko kasi topless si kuya niyo. Jusko, ramdam na ramdam ko ang balat naming nagdidikit.

Utang na loob, patience and virtues, kapit lang. Kaya niyo pa ito.

"I'm just... swimming." Tanging sagot na naibigay ko sa kanya.

Napalunok ako nang mariin when I felt his arms hugging my small waist tighter. He even placed his head on my neck at tila ayaw niya akong pakawalan.

"When I heard from them that you went to the sea... I thought, you left me." He reasoned out but it just made my eyes rolled.

"As if I can leave this place using the sea, Alastair." I said sarcastically. "Sumabog na ang bangka ko kung sakali mang umabot ako sa boundary ng dagat."

It's true, from the moment a person stepped inside their territory, there's no way you can get out. Even the sea, it will never let you leave the place.

There's a hollow boundary on each sides of the place like a cube. It composes of mixed electricity and electrons that once touched of any tangible things, it will be burned and electrocuted.

"What is it to you if I leave you?" Matapang kong tanong sa kanya. Kahit ayoko mang tanungin ang tanong na iyon but if that's the only way for me to know why, then go!

I felt his hug tightened and his head burried on my neck. Ramdam ko rin ang mabilis na pag-angat baba ng dibdib ng binata sa aking likuran. Napalunok rin ako sa naging epekto ng tanong ko kay Alastair.

"We're not even in a relationship for me not to leave you." Dugtong ko pa.

From the moment I said that, there seems to be a light bulb twinkled on his mind. "Then let's do it. Let us be in a relationship. A'right?"

I scoffed from his immediate reaction and decision.

Ako ba ay pinaglololoko ng lalaking ito? He's offering relationship na parang nabibili lang iyon sa kanto.

Sarap bayagan ang hayup. Pasalamat siya, kailangan ko pang hawakan iyan. Hihihi!

"You're impossible." Komento ko na lamang sa kanya and I tried to escape from his grip but he didn't let me.

"What? Don't you want that? You implied that we need to be in a relationship so you won't leave me. Let's do it then, say yes."

Hindi ko mapigilan ang mapapikit ng mariin dahil sa sinabi nito. Kahit gaano ko pa siya kagusto at kahit ito na ang nag-o-offer, it's a no for me. Hell I want him to be with me if he just insinuated that because I mentioned it. Ano iyon? Dahil sa iyon ang hinaing ko, iyon ang magiging dahilan para alukin niya ako? Ulul!

"Of course not! Why would I be in a relationship with you?!" hindi ko na napigilan ang magtaas ng boses. His reasoning is beyond my reach. Tempting offer but I'm still a woman and I'm still a normal person. I still want to be in a relationship wherein the man loves me dearly.

Nagulat ako nang bigla niya akong hinarap sa kanya. At first, I'm glaring at him because of his offer but I ended up looking away because of the intensity of his stares. I think it's not stares anymore. It's more like glaring. What? Is there something wrong with my question?

Isang minuto ang nagdaan ngunit wala itong sinabi na kahit na ano. He's just looking at me.

"Ayaw mo ba sa akin?" he asked in tagalog. I was at the edge of scoffing hard because I heard him the second time speaking tagalog but it's a good thing I was able to stop myself from doing that.

Mas lalo akong hindi makatingin sa kanya. I just stared at the little waves of the sea surrounding us. I just can't really bare looking at him this near. Mas mabuti pa yatang hindi niya alam na nakakakita ako para hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko siya nakikita.

I decided not to close my Lenses because it's a nonsense anymore lalo na kung nasa malapit siya. Nararamdaman kong pipilitin niya akong buksan ko ang paningin ko para makita ko siya. I may be assuming that would be the reason but knowing Alastair, he will push you to do things on his own discretion.

"I don't." I replied. I don't really hate him. At all. Never. Hindi ko alam kung bakit pero hindi ko kayang hindi siya gustuhin. Not because of his looks and importantly not because we're in the same position where Apollo ruined our lives differently.

"Then why you're not okay to be in a relationship with me?" he asked even more and I think my patience slipped a bit.

I glared at him and I saw him flinched a little from what I did. I think he would never think or at least it will never slip from his head the reason and the answer that he wants from me. Might as well, tell him directly, damn it!

"Do you even like me for you to ask myself if I want to be in a relationship with you?" I asked with solidarity. He's making this a big fuss whereas all he wants is for me not to leave him. I need to slap him that question even if it tightened my heart.

Tila natigilan ito sa naging tanong ko sa kanya. His face stilled and he looks disoriented because of my queastion.

And since I'm a quite a straightforward person. Mas palalain natin ang tanong.

"Or do you even feel something towards me like what they called... love?" I added.

I'm quite shocked for a moment when he laughed a bit and held my whole face with his big hands.

"Do you believe in love, Bella Cieco?" he asked as if that's the most ridiculous thing that he heard from someone. "You shouldn't be, Bella. Because it's not true. Love will only be your weakness, especially with this kind of life that we have. Love will only make you feel vulnerable. And that's... what your enemies will use for you to be killed."

For a moment, I felt something crushed within me. I may be overacting right now but I felt like he crushed my feelings for him. Damn, fine. I admit, may gusto ako sa kanya! Hindi ba halata?

But hearing his own perspective towards love? I couldn't help but to pity myself. I'm liking a person who couldn't give you back the same feelings that you have. And I think? That's one of the most vulnerable moment that I can feel today. Nakakapanghina na to the point I'm asking myself why am I even liking him? I shouldn't be. Like palang naman ito. Hindi naman siguro ito aabot sa love na sabi niya, hindi siya naniniwala.

I held out his both hands on my face. I've seen for a moment a scared reaction from his face but I ignored it. Ang hirap niyang basahin pala kapag nakikita ko siya.

"Unfortunately, I believe in love, Alastair. I'm still dreaming to be loved by someone. And for me? It's not a dangerous thing that you can ever feel because your enemies can use that against you. No, I would never agree with your opinion. You know why? You're right about the chosen life that we have, but it will never be wrong for us to feel that kind of love that we can get even just for a spilt seconds. Love can be our salvation from the dangerous path that we chose. Salvation in a way that we can still prove to ourselves that it will never be wrong to be happy in the midst of disaster and death." Lintanya ko sa kanya habang nalayo ako sa kanya. I'm preparing to swim back to my boat.

"And you might not know, Love can also give you strength to live longer. Because you know someone is waiting for you after the battle." Huli kong dagdag bago ko siya binigyan ng maliit na ngiti na hindi aabot sa aking tainga. "Don't offer me relationship if you can't even offer your heart and soul. Korni man pero babae pa rin ako. Nangangarap ng ganoon. If you can't give me that? Maybe... someone would. I just need to wait for him."

Iniwan ko siya doon at pinaandar ko na ang speedboat na dala ko.

The vast wind is keeping my senses alive and normal because deep inside, I'm quite heartbroken. My god, ganito pala ang pakiramdam nang masaktan. Mas masakit pa sa libu-libong suntok na binigay sa'yo ng kalaban. Nothing can make you feel numb unlike sa sakit ng katawan na may gamot para do'n.

When I landed my feet on the sand, nakaantabay na roon sina Claude and Austin. They're waiting for my arrival.

"Why you're all here?" I asked them both.

Binigyan ako ni Austin ng bath robe. Claude is holding Chizo on her arms and her smile... it seems like it's too sad.

"Sorry for listening, Premiere. I think, nakalimutan mong i-mute ang sarili mo kanina while you're swimming. We heard your convo with Alastair." Malungkot na wika ni Claude sa kanya pero ang pakiramdam ko'y gusto ko nang kainin ng buhangin ng dalampasigan.

"Forget that, wala lang iyon. Tarantado lang ang isang iyon." Wika ko na lamang habang kinuha ko si Chizo kay Claude.

"Kung gusto mong bugbugin ko, sabihin mo." Alok ni Austin sa kanya na madilim ang mukha.

Alam ko kung bakit sila ganiyan. Hindi man ako nagkukwento sa kanila na nagugustuhan ko na ang tagapagmana ng Privus ay naramdaman nilang may gusto ako sa kanya sa mga narinig mula sa akin kanina. They're not dumb. Hindi sila manhid.

Sa ilang taon na magkakasama kaming tatlo, kilalang kilala na ako ng dalawa. They know when I'm faking my words or when I'm being truthful.

"So, what's your plan now?" Claude asked me. She tried to make the atmosphere aloof. Isang bagay na mas makakapagpagaan ng pakiramdam ko.

"Same plan pa rin. I just need to make myself alone. I'm still a living bomb right now. Kahit hindi ko alam kung bakit walang nangyayari sa Fifth Wave pero iba pa rin ang kutob ko sa nangyayari." Wika ko sa kanila and the confusion gets back at me.

Nagugulumihanan pa rin ako hanggang ngayon kung bakit wala pa ring senyales na nagsimula na ang Fifth Wave. Isang bagay na hindi pa nangyayari sa huling apat na beses na narasanan ko ito.

"I know, I'm still researching about it but from the Archives that we still have from your mother's disk, I can't find any." Tugon ni Austin sa kanya.

"Hangga't wala pang nangyayari, I want the both of you leave me alone." Anas ko sa dalawa. "I don't want the both you be a victim of the Wave."

Hindi sila sumagot sa sinabi ko. Sanay na kasi silang dalawa dahil alam nilang para sa ikakabuti nila iyon.

"Let's just—"natigilan ako nang bigla akong makaramdam ng sakit sa aking dibdib. It seems like there's someone punched my chest. It's throbbing right after that.

"Asia!" Both of them screamed but I raised my other hand to stop them from touching me. Umiling iling rin ako sa kanila, senyales na ayoko silang madamay sa nangyayari sa akin ngayon.

"Get Chizo out of here, I-I'll be just here. I n-need to keep this to myself so that... no o-one will be harmed from the Wave." I told them and they agreed on it.  "Make sure na walang makakalapit... sa a-akin dito."

Muli silang tumango and they ran as fast as they can.

Huminga ako ng paulit ulit because I can feel my breath is shorthening. I faced the calm sea and glared at it.

I never thought na magiging ganitong kagulat gulat ang pagdating ng Fifth Wave. It was like a month after the last wave, and yet, here it is. Killing not just me but everyone around me.

My tattoo glowed like hell. The blue sky turned into black and the sea became angry because of the thunder. My eyes glowed in the midst of the darkness. The wind became murderous, the sea became titans as the waves become larger and bigger. The thunder is roaring spontaneously and the heavy rain started to fall.

Muling nanumbalik sa akin ang mga alaala ng mga naunang Waves na halos pumatay sa iilang inosenteng tao.

Every wave has its own way to kill someone. That's the consequence of using the Apollo too much. I clearly remember how the waves occured.

First Wave.

I clearly remember the night I dreamed about my parents. But unlike Archilliah's dream, I've seen how they were killed by their own enemies.

Napaluhod ako sa buhangin when I felt my heart is pounding too loud that gives back the pain I felt before. The pain of seeing them killed and how does the dream became real. The situation became the root cause why there's a waves to determine how my life will end. And the cause why am I blind.

Second Wave.

I clenched my fist on the sand when I remembered the day I killed someone because of my greediness. The day that someone is depriving myself to get the information of my parents about the Apollo. It was the day that one of my old friend tried to break the video clip of my Mom about her confessions to me.

My old friend reasoned out that I shouldn't believed anything about the mythical stone and it's something that my parents created to avoid the fact that their criminals. To save their asses from being investigated.

I killed him because of that. I killed him by stroking my hand forcefully on his chest and dragged his heart out of it.

Napapikit ako nang matandaan ko ang itsura niya nang gawin ko iyon. I clearly remember as well the facial expression that I used to kill him. My face was stoic and unreadable. Matched it with the Apollo's curse, and I was able to kill him without hesitation.

Third Wave.

I was on my college days that time in Massachussets when the Third Wave occured. I'm trying to be normal again that time. I left my friends in the Philippines and I didn't finish the training that I had there and flew all the way in America. They're helping me to get used of seeing darkness but I would like to learn on my own.

I once believed that yes, I accepted the fact that my parents did that horrible experiment way back when I was still a child and the fact that they're job before was to kill people— an Assassins, in short.

Pero lahat nang paniniwala ko na iyon ay nawala when I saw a poor boy being beaten up by an elderly man right after my class while walking on the way to my apartment. That time, Apollo's being bitch to me and playing at me by giving back my eyesight once in a while.

Nakilala ko ang lalaking iyon bilang isa sa mga pinakamagagaling na manlalaro ng Soccer. He's kicking the poor boy while he's screaming for help. I was there standing and shocked from what I've seen. The man saw me and he just put his pointing finger on top of his lips and grinned with evil, then he continued kicking the poor boy.

Hindi ko nakayanan ang galit na namutawi sa akin noon. I have a pretty shallow heart for people who's in need. But right there, a realization come up over me.

Not all people are good. Not all poor people deserve to be treated fairly. And not all people deserve forgiveness.

The tattoo glowed in the middle of the dark where am I. Even my eyes were glowing looking with rage at the man who's killing a weak guy. The man looked at me when he noticed the light that I was emitting. Horror manifested on his face when he saw my state. Fear enveloped him.

When he was about to run, I casted a word that caused the discovery of my curse.

"Stop." I ordered.

The man stopped from running. He was screaming help but I ended up shutting his mouth as well. I made him looked at me. I looked at him with rage and power.

The vast wind horrified the surroundings. Thunders are booming at the night sky. I held his face when he's now kneeling at me, asking for forgiveness. Unfortunately, rationality has gone on my system. I just looked at him with my stoic expression not listening to his desparate words.

He explained why he did that however, as soon as I touched his face, I saw everything. I saw how his life worked hitting the poor guy which was the person who helped him to be in his position. His explanations were nonsense. He's creating his own story. His turning all the tables and putting all the blame on the guy.

I heard the guy he's beating up. He's coughing with blood. He couldn't stand because his wounded feet.

I glared at the man that I'm facing. While gritting my teeth, I manipulated his brain to cut all interactions and connections he has with his lower extremities. His feet are not useful anymore. He will never use it to hurt anyone from now on, and he can't use it anymore. I removed his right to control his lower body. That was the rightful punishment for him. And the punishment has been served so well.

THE pain from my chest has been lifted slowly when I felt someone is hugging me from behind. I can still feel my whole body is shaking while I'm still coping up with the effect of the Fifth Wave.

Nang tuluyang mawala ang sakit at ang aking panginginig ay gano'n din ang pagkalma ng karagatan at ng kalangitan.

Apollo... you're surely can control the elements around me.

"I'm here, Bella Cieco... F-Fuck, I'm here, please calm." I realized that it was Alastair who's hugging me behind. I moved myself to see and meet his eyes.

My heart melt from the sight that I'm seeing right now.

His eyes... his eyes are screaming concern and fear. Concern from what's happening to me. And fear... fear from losing me? Umiling ako at tinanggal na ang mga naiisip ko at yinakap siya ng buong puso.

He stopped the Wave. He helped me somehow.

I AM actually looking at him right now. He's too focused of reading the book that I gave. He's sitting right next to me. His other hand is holding the book while the other hand is holding my hand where I'm lying.

It's been a week since the Wave occured. He ordered me to stay on his pad and do nothing but to rest. When I say he ordered, that means, we've had undergone a lot of arguments before I surrendered and just followed what he wants.

From the day he stopped my Wave, my body was nearly at my reach to the point that I couldn't stand or walk either. Ganoon naman talaga ang nangyayari sa akin pagkatapos ng isang Wave. Apollo is consuming my life span and the effect is a total body shutdown.

Alastair didn't ask anything about what happened, how did it happen nor ask anything related to it. I don't know why he's not asking anything but for me, it's a big thing that he never asked. Dahil hindi ko rin naman siya masasagot ng totoo at maayos. I would end up lying at him. Until now, he never asked anything. At napapangiti ako sa respetong binibigay niya sa akin.

"I know you're wondering why I'm not asking anything from what happened a week ago, Bella Cieco." He stated while still reading. Napalunok ako sa naging pasaring nito.

It seems like nakakaramdam na ito na iyon ang naiisip ko.

"You still need to say something about it or else, I will ask the two other professors that you were with last week." He added that made my heart beats so fast.

Nakaramdam ako ng kaba. Mukhang nakita niya kaming tatlo na magkasama bago ang nangyari. Kapag kinausap niya at tinanong ang dalawa, paniguradong gagamitan niya ito ng compulsion. Claude and Austin will obliged... for sure.

"I will tell you about it... but not now." Iyon na lamang ang nasambit ko habang iniiwas ko ang tingin sa kanya.

"You should." Anas nito tapos ay sinarado nito ang libro na hawak. Then he looked at me, "Why do you want me to read this boring book about Patience?"

Napalabi ako at pinilit ko ang sarili na hindi tumawa dahil sa tanong nito. Iyon kasi ang librong binigay ko sa kanya bilang pagsisimula ng misyon kong turuan siyang kontrolin ang kakayahan nito.

"Because you need that before anything else. I'm pretty sure that you don't have in you, right?" I answered him and rolled my eyes on my question.

Natigilan ako nang bigla itong umibabaw sa akin sa kama. Nanlalaki ang mata ko nang halos tabunan ng malapad niyang dibdib ang paningin ko.

"I still know how to be patient, Bella Cieco. I guess I made you feel that."

Putangina ka!!! Yes, I can feel it! Jusko po!

Napalunok ako bago ako tumugon. "A-Ang... Ang b-bastosh mo."

I saw him smirked from my response then he put down his lower part on me para mas daganan ako. At hayun mga kaibigan, may troso ako nararamdaman pucha!

"What I'm saying, patience not to ask you anything from what happened to you."

Ako na ang mahalay, bwisit ito!

"And yeah, maybe... that one too. I can still stop myself ravishing you."

He was about to kiss me when the door of his pad suddenly opened.

Parehas kaming dalawa napabalikwas at napalayo sa isa't isa.

Mapapatay ko ang magkapatid na ito! Magaling tyumempo! Nandoon na 'eh! Mag-kikissh na, oh!

"I'm really sorry to interupt from what the both has to do but... Boss? You need to see this."

Parehas kaming napaseryoso ni Alastair sa balitang hatid ni Oliver.

"Mamaya na ang sexy time, mga tropa. This is too important." Segunda naman ni Aarav.

Mabilis kaming sumunod sa gustong ipakita ng dalawa. I closed my Lenses and Alastair understood the purpose of doing that. He helped and held my hand for us to walk faster. I felt the surrounding that we are at the grand terrace of Villa Tradimento. I can hear everyone's gasps and whispers that why I decided to open up my Lenses again.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa nakita pagkabukas palang ng aking paningin. Alastair knew that I can see again that's why he put his big hand on my eyes. Pero hindi ko siya hinayaang gawin iyon. I removed it and looked once again on the people on the ground.

Sa kada Villa ay may mga nakatayong tatlong flagpole at nakasabit roon ang tatlong sangay ng Privus Trata. Nanginginig ang kalamnan ko sa nakikita.

There were twenty-three dead students on the ground lying in an awkward position. It seems like the murderer placed them on the ground to form a words.

CURSE YOU

Napatakip ako ng aking bibig when I raised my head on top of the flagpoles. May tatlong estudyante naman ang nakatusok na parang baboy while their bloods are still flowing on the ground.

I looked away because I think I will vomit anytime soon. Sa pag-iwas ko sa nakita, I saw Austin and Claude on the ground. Claude is clenching her fists and tears are flowing on her cheeks. Austin is holding her. Claude is also an emotional type of a woman, I know she will do something unforgivable kapag hindi siya hawak ni Austin.

I saw Austin held his ear— to connect his plugs on mine.

"We are about to visit you when we saw this." Pauna nitong wika. "The reason why we are going to visit you is because we have a theory about your Waves. Something that is connected on the people trying to kill you."

"Continue..." bulong ko kay Austin.

I felt the sudden anticipation because of the theory he has for me. He might got it from the archives of my Mom's disk.

"Every waves that occured were activating the Curses of the people that was affected by the Apollo. Sa bawat dahilan kung bakit mo nagagamit ng sobra ang Apollo ang mental ability na natatanggap ng mga naging biktima noon."

Natigilan ako when I realized the point of Austin's theory about my Wave.

Nagbalik sa aking alaala ang mga taong may abilidad na nakuha nila sa Apollo sa sitwasyong nangyayari sa akin noon sa kada Wave na nangyayari...

Ability to see the future. Ability to paralyzed. Ability to compel. Ability to torture minds.

"Your life is not at risk sa kada Wave na nangyayari, Premiere. The Waves are signals that the hidden ability of the victims of Apollo are awakening. You're the Activator. You're trigerring the bomb inside them and creating monsters that can end your life in the end."

Muli akong napatingin sa mga patay na estudyanteng nasa lupa at ang mga nakasabit sa pole. "Meaning to say... these kids were killed because of..."

Naramdaman ko ang paglingon ni Alastair sa akin when I said those words. Confused with it.

"The Fifth Wave happened last week and it seems like, you were able to activate someone who could kill these many and butchered them in a most nasty way."