Beautiful art was done by Arneewenn on deviantART. 

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto.

Warning: All warnings are addressed at the bottom of chapter two.

Beta: Cyndaquil123

So I'm tired of all the pain, of the misery inside -

and I wish that I could live, feeling nothing, but the night.

You can tell me what to say, you can tell me where to go -

but, I doubt that I would care, and my heart would never know.

Bad Apple

I watched him squirm, round little cheeks red.

He was too tiny. Too fragile.

Kaa-san smiled.

She was too tiny, now. Too fragile.

He cried, and she stopped breathing.

Tou-sama ushered us out, and Iyaozo-niichan carried our newborn brother outside with us. We each took turns holding him, as we waiting for Father to return.

Izuna held him for a long time, before he gave him to me.

I held him in my arms for the first and last time.

I instantly loved him.

But he was too tiny.

He did not last long.

.

. .

. . .

My head rested in Obito's lap as my teammate idly played with my hair. I had found that I quite enjoyed having my hair played with. The relief team was supposed to arrive at any minute, so we had packed all our things in preparation for the journey back to Konoha. I was inordinately pleased that I would be saying goodbye to my crutches. Given my condition, I would be carried back into Konoha before being taken straight into surgery to fix the blown tenketsu around my heart. It was agreed that the oral report would be given for my entire team after surgery, but the ANBU would likely provide their own report.

Kakashi cleaned his kunai, sitting beside Obito with his back against the wall. He only paused in his work to look up at Flamingo entering the front room of the base. The woman brushed back her long pale blonde hair, and seemed to be smiling at each of us. "Panther has sensed the approaching squad. Let us head out to meet them, children."

Our faces contorted in perfect synch at the word children, but we each obediently got up and made sure our things were packed.

Obito and Kakashi placed one arm each around my waist, and I draped my arms over their shoulders. With ease, the three of us followed Flamingo outside of the base, where Panther and Tiger stood, waiting for us.

Panther did not bother looking towards us, while Tiger gave us a jovial wave. Two minutes ticked by in utter silence before we were surrounded by an entire squad of ANBU—at least twenty of them—and another squad of Jōnin/Chūnin.

I was utterly surprised by the amount of forces Hiruzen had sent. Prior to our mission, Konoha forces were stretched to the point that the three of us were all he could spare to send out to position that desperately needed reinforcement.

Had my single move provided with so much immediate relief that Hiruzen was able to do all of that?

In the same time I processed the amount of forces Hiruzen had sent, three ANBU appeared around us. Kakashi and Obito instinctively tensed, but I remained at ease. I recognized one of the masks as ANBU Rabbit. She had been one of the ANBU on call to care for Grandmother. Her short white hair glistened underneath the moonlight, and she reached out towards me. "Allow me to care for hime-sama."

Kakashi and Obito withdrew their arms as I reached out towards Rabbit. With ease the tall woman picked me up and adjusted to carry me bridal style. "It's been a while."

"It has," Rabbit agreed. "I will escort you straight to the hospital with your teammates. Obito-kun, Kakashi-kun, do either of you require assistance?"

"No," they both denied quickly.

Rabbit nodded her head, then glanced at her comrades. "Let us move. We must reach Konoha by sunrise."

There was a subtle shift in the atmosphere, and at once, most of the ANBU departed together. Only Flamingo and I were carried to Konoha, though.

True to her word, as soon as Rabbit reached the Konoha, she split off from the others and took me straight to the main hospital. She entered through the front door, and I was greeted by an array of doctors and nurses, each anxious to escort me to the surgery room.

Kushina was there, too, with a bright smile on her face and promises of making me dango as a reward.

All too happily, I closed my eyes on the gurney, anxious to be returned to my full strength.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

After the surgery, I was kept in an isolated ward. I had an hour before we were scheduled to meet with the Hokage. In that hour, I had a single task to accomplish.

Something of which I could not do confined to a hospital bed, so I broke out and went on my merry little way.

In the Shinobi District (the district where only shinobi and kunoichi and their immediate family were allowed to live) there were a few buildings that were well known for their ridiculously high security. It was also well known that those buildings housed ANBU, elite Jōnin, and retired shinobi/kunoichi. If one was looking for ANBU off duty, the best bet was to head to one of those apartments and ask around.

Now, of course ANBU were meant to be secretive and people shouldn't be able to find their identity willy-nilly.

When someone joined the ANBU they had the option of either keeping their identity entirely secret, or embracing the ANBU entirely.

If they chose to keep their ANBU identity a secret, then they would remain in their day-to-day lives and had to balance their ANBU missions with their regular missions. That option was the ideal option for those who were training their own Genin team, had a family, or were integral to part of their clan.

The second option involved being officially declared ANBU. Their file would be marked as SS, and they would essentially disappear from the ranks of Jōnin, Chūnin, or wherever the hell they were from. Their comrades would know they were ANBU, even if they did not know their mask, and they would receive special accommodations. Those accommodations included an offer to live with their fellow elite in one of those special buildings, the ability to not have to pay rent when sent on particularly long missions, and of course access to the ANBU elite library, training grounds, and research center. The catch, however, meant they had to cut the majority of their ties with their fellow comrades and their missions were entirely dedicated to S-Ranked and above.

Both options had their ups and downs.

Returning to the point, however.

The majority of ANBU chose the latter of the options. As a consequence, if one were to look for a specific ANBU off duty, all one had to do was head to one of those special apartments and ask around.

Which was exactly what I planned to do.

I stood outside the first of the apartment buildings, frowning at how I was unable to enter due to the fact that my chakra was not keyed into the seals.

A tremor rocked my body for a minute, which made stumble.

I technically was not supposed to be out of my bed, but the sooner I had this taken care of, the better.

"Senju-hime, is there something I can do for you?"

I turned around, meeting the gaze of a woman with pale blue spiky hair, and vivid red eyes. From her Jōnin attire, I gathered that she was likely a resident of one of the nearby apartments.

"Perhaps," I said slowly. "I'm looking for ANBU Tiger, although he might have been promoted to ANBU Panther recently. We were comrades in arms not too long ago, and it is imperative that I speak with him soon."

She smiled at me. "I know who you are talking about. I'll take you to his apartment, if you'll allow me to assist you, hime."

My lips stretched into a charming smile, even as the (likely ANBU) kunoichi held her arm out to me. She probably knew about my surgery, and saw my tremor earlier. Since I chose not to use crutches, it would be difficult to travel further on my own. I overestimated myself a tiny bit.

Snaking my arm through her's, I allowed her to guide me into the nearby apartment. When presented with the stairs, she merely glanced at me before picking me up bridal style and carrying me up them.

My ego wanted to protest, but the inner Madara inside of me snarked at it, so I remained silent.

She took me up to the tenth floor, through more secured doors, before dropping me off at apartment 10C.

I knocked on the door when she left, and a full minute passed by before it opened.

An undressed Tiger with a towel wrapped around his waist greeted me—

My eyes were glued to his well toned adult body.

Tiger smirked coyly at me. "Like what you see, hime?"

"No," I lied, entirely unabashed. He was an adult. It was okay to admire his physique. "I need to speak with you. May I come in?"

Tiger stepped aside to allow me inside, and I strode through the front door. I assessed the neat apartment with a sharp gaze, noting the abundance of cat toys. It didn't take long to find a large cat feeder in the kitchen, an even bigger automatic watering bowl, and three fat cats lounging in a sun beam by the open window.

Tiger brushed passed me, into his open kitchen and opened the fridge. "Want anything to drink?"

"No, thank you," I answered him, taking a seat on the pale brown couch. "I shouldn't stay long. The hospital will figure out that I've gone AWOL soon enough, and I'm quite certain they will send Nee-chan after me again."

Tiger grabbed a bottle of water for himself, scratching at his golden-brown messy hair. "Huh. It's been awhile since I've seen an angry Kushina. Might be fun."

"For you," I retorted. "That anger will be directed at me, and I can assure it: that's not fun at all."

Tiger shrugged. "Let me throw some pants on first, and then we'll talk."

"If you must."

"Come back when you're a bit older and then we'll talk," Tiger laughed, heading out of the front room.

I snorted at that. Thirty seconds went by before he returned in some black sweats, and a yellow t-shirt with pictures of cats on it. He took a seat from the lounger across from the couch, and immediately two cats leapt into his lap.

As he idly pet them, he asked me, "So how can I help the mighty Oni Kodama?"

"The what?" I blinked.

A grin that could rival Cheshire's stretched across Tiger's face. "You mean you haven't seen the latest bingo book?"

"I just finished my heart surgery an hour ago," I crankily snapped. "What are you talking about?"

Tiger reached over to the coffee table in between us and picked up a clean leather bound bingo book. He tossed it to me. "Flip to page two-ninety-one."

I flipped through the book, then gasped upon seeing my picture (the picture of me taken from graduating the academy—so quite some time ago). Right below my picture was a—

"I have a Flee on Sight?" I squealed, unable to contain my happy giggle. "Oh. My. This is amazing! Oni Kodama is my moniker? Not bad at all! This is—this is fantastic."

"I'm glad I was able to make your day," Tiger chortled.

I grinned wickedly at him. "Not quite, Tiger. The whole reason I came here wasn't for a bingo book. I want you to nominate Kakashi and Obito for Jōnin. I want you to talk to Panther and Flamingo, and see if you can get them to do the same."

Tiger cocked his head. "Hm. They did entertain me with their pissing contest, and I suppose they showed some level of competency. Sure, why not? You owe me for this, though."

"I'm sure I'll be able to repay you, so long as they both receive their promotions with me," I promised. "You have my word."

Tiger smiled coyly. "When you're of age, you can buy me dinner and drinks."

"What makes you think you'll be alive by then?" I asked slyly.

"For free dinner and drinks from a beautiful princess? Not even a Shinigami could keep me."

I snorted at that.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

.Rabbit was actually the one who found and escorted me to the Hokage's tower, citing that Kushina was preoccupied with Minato's own return.

I met my teammates, awarding them with a bright smile, before the three of us headed into Hiruzen's office and began our debrief.

When the summarization was over, Hiruzen puff his pipe, and the three of us stood in attention.

"How long will you be out of commission, hime?" Hiruzen asked me, his gaze boring into me.

"Two weeks," I admitted. "Week and half if all goes well, though."

He nodded his head. "Very well. You three have accomplished much, more so than I ever would have expected. We're seeing a total retreat from enemy forces in our lands, which has given us much needed breathing room, and a chance to prepare for a final offense."

"A final offense?" Obito repeated, his eyes widening with excitement. "Does that mean...? We'll finish the war soon?"

Hiruzen smiled darkly. "Yes, and in far better condition than our enemies. For the moment, though, my shinobi, rest. Report back to me in two weeks, if I have not called for you sooner."

We saluted our Hokage, before the boys turned to leave. I glanced at them. "I'll be out in a moment."

Kakashi nodded his head, grabbing Obito and pulling the curious Uchiha out.

When they left, and shut the door behind them, I said, "I want to push forward with our promotion to become Jōnin. All three of us. I suspect you'll receive recommendations from the ANBU that accompanied us sometime today."

"So soon?" Hiruzen asked. "You truly think Obito is ready?"

"He is," I stated confidently. "You do not need to take only my word, though. Tiger, Panther and Flamingo will be able to vouch for him, as well."

Hiruzen nodded his head slowly. "Very well. I will propose the three promotions to my Jōnin Commander tomorrow, so long as the recommendations are in order."

I bowed shallowly to him. "Thank you, Hokage-sama. Is there anything else I can do for you?"

The Hokage paused. "The Daimyo is keen to meet with you, especially after your.. Show of power. I will delay this meeting until the war is over, given how essential you are to our plans. When the war is over, however, prepare yourself for meeting with him."

"Do you have a specific goal in mind for our meeting?"

Hiruzen nodded shortly. "It will be treated as a mission, hime. A honeypot mission."

I blinked at that. "Sex—"

He shook his head. "No. Sexual honeypot missions are reserved for a special section in ANBU. This is purely a friendly persuasion honeypot. More can be discussed about it later, though. For now, please rest. We need you for this war."

I bowed again. "Very well, Hokage-sama. Good day."

"Good day."

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

We received our Jōnin promotions a week later. There were no exams, or trials that were typically held during times of peace. Apparently, we had received more than a typical amount of recommendations, and given the gargantuan affect our successful mission had on the war, people were clamoring for us to advance into the ranks.

Kakashi and Obito had also entered into the bingo books, though neither had quite the reputation I had groomed. They were still viewed hatefully by Kumogakure and Iwagakure for their apparently systematic, merciless, and utterly brutal clean-up from my attack.

It would appear my sadism had rubbed off significantly onto both of them, and they both shared in Tiger's desire to avenge their fallen comrades.

Let's just say, some of the mangled heads Obito provided for me were not mangled from my attack.

I could not have been more proud.

Upon receiving our promotion, we were all treated to a lovely dinner by Obito's mother, Kushina and Minato. Obito only cried a little bit more than Kushina.

When our two weeks of rest was up, we were sent off on our hopefully final mission for the war.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

I sat beside Minato, flipping through a small notebook that had numerous jutsus Madara wanted me to memorize in it. It was written entirely in English, and had a handful of diagrams and sketches for demonstrational purposes.

Minato and I sat on a rather large rock in the center of a wide clearing in the forest. Kakashi was standing, stiff, behind us. I knew he was slowly growing more and more irritated at Obito. I thought about trying to calm him down, but one of the passages Madara had written caught my attention and I became far more interested in than that than Kakashi and Obito's latest pissing contest.

Suddenly, Obito shot out of the tree tops, almost falling flat on his face. We all looked over at him, and Kakashi marched straight towards him, his eyes narrowed in a glower.

"Did I make it?" Obito asked hopefully.

"No. You're late," Kakashi bit out. "Did you forget what time we were supposed to meet?"

Obito sat up, looking mildly guilty. "Well, I was on my way, but this feeble old lady with heavy bags asked for directions—and I-I got something in my eye—please don't put splinters in my boxers."

"If you're going to lie, at least make up a good one," Kakashi snapped, while I looked up with mild amusement.

"Alright, Kakashi, that's enough. I'm sure Obito showed her the way to go. Obito?"

"And carried her bags," Obito laughed.

"You're too nice, Minato-sensei," Kakashi accused Minato. "Obito will never—"

I finally closed my notebook. "Kakashi, relax."

Kakashi cut himself off, giving me a look that crossed between frustration and embarrassment. He clenched his hands into fists, and pointedly looked away from me, his eyes narrowed. Obito gave Kakashi a sly look, to which Kakashi awarded him with a dark glower.

"Today's a special day for you, isn't it, Kakashi? So try to have a least a little fun," I teased, standing up and shutting my notebook.

Kakashi glower faded away, and he sheepishly lowered his gaze. "... It could be a special day for you, too, Naasica."

I shook my head. "Next time."

"Huh?" Obito asked, cocking his head.

"Well, now that the three of you are Jōnin, I thought it was time for Kakashi to lead a mission," Minato said. "Kakashi and I will break up into two teams—you two will follow under his lead for the mission. Hime will lead the next mission as a Jōnin, and then you, Obito."

"Aw," Obito pouted. He was the perfect picture of a disappointed teenager. "Why can't it just be me and Oni-hime, and then Kakashi and you, Minato-sensei?"

I laughed at Kakashi's affronted look, and Minato laughed.

"Don't be silly. I know you three will get along just fine," Minato said easily. "Even if Kakashi is in a bad mood today."

"No kidding," Obito lamented.

"I am not in a bad mood—"

"You kind of are," I agreed with them.

"Naasica! I thought you were on my side."

"I'm on my own side," I retorted. "I get that you're just nervous, seeing how this is the first time you're leading a mission as a Jōnin. Moreover you're leading a dangerous mission with your precious comrades that you adore—"

"I am not nervous, and I do not adore—"

"Jeez, Kakashi, I didn't know you felt that way," Obito said, swinging an arm around Kakashi's shoulders.

"I don't!" Kakashi snarled.

Minato laughed heartily at us. "Alright, children—"

"Children?!" we demanded.

"—we should get a move on," Minato finished, smiling at us.

We exchanged glances, Obito and I petulantly pouting.

"If we must," I muttered, then my eyes sparkled mischievously. "Since I nearly ended the war the last time I lead a mission, I expect you to do the same, Kakashi!"

Kakashi snorted. "If all goes well this should be the final push to end the war in our favor."

Obito's eyes lit up. "Ever since hime made that forest Kumogakure's forces have been steadily withdrawing and Kirigakure won't hire shinobi out to Iwa and Kumo anymore."

I tossed my hair over my shoulder. "After we crush Iwa, Iwa and Kumo will have to offer us their unconditional surrender. Or the Hokage might just send me out to their village."

Obito tugged at his Jōnin flak. "Nah. He has no need for you when he's got his future successor right here."

Minato reached over and ruffled the Uchiha's hair. "Well. You can be my future successor."

I snorted quietly at that.

"Enough," Kakashi instructed, "let's finish this."

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

Destroy the Kannabi bridge, huh? I mused, trailing behind Minato. Kakashi was on my right, and Obito on Kakashi's right. This war is finally reaching the end. After this, the talks of peace will begin between the Kages and Daimyos.

We walked quietly through the tall forest, before all of us froze. Each of us detected another presence.

I sensed their quietly suppressed chakra (same for Minato, most likely)—Kakashi probably smelt them—and Obito reacted on instinct. Through the corner of my eye, I could see Obito's mature Sharingan slowly awaken, as he scanned the environment. I, on the other hand, reached for Kakashi's hand and once I grabbed it, I slowly traced the directions where I sensed the other chakra source.

Kakashi reached over and grabbed Obito's hand, relaying the directions. Obito's eyes snapped to the far upper left branch above us.

Kakashi traced along my palm.

Obito sees him—confirmed—just one.

I only sense one, I responded.

I'll attack. You—no escape. Obito—assist.

Alright, I won't let him escape, then, I thought, with drawing my hand from Kakashi. Minato had stepped back, and was watching us with a pleased smile.

We were young.

We looked like children.

When we held hands, we looked like scared children.

Our opponents always underestimated us when we did that.

I slapped the palms of my hands against the ground, and felt the rush of chakra leave me and grab onto the root of the tree the enemy hid in. Smirking in triumph, I manipulated my chakra to take over the tree. Wood shot on from all around the opponent, straight from the tree itself, and he leapt out of hiding.

Right on time for Kakashi to engage him.

The enemy's face twisted into a silent snarl, as Kakashi dug his foot straight into his stomach and launched him straight towards Obito's great fireball.

The flames enveloped him, and he let out a scream.

"Wow," Obito said, as the burning corpse hit the ground. He looked disturbed for a moment, but then cleared his throat and pointedly focused on us, and ignored the corpse. "No one has actually ever been hit by one of those before, you know. It always was used as a distraction."

"Natural selection took part in today's fight, then," I hummed.

"Or just good teamwork," Minato said, beaming at us. "Excellent work."

Obito scratched the back of his head sheepishly, and Kakashi looked away, a lighter gleam in his eyes. I smiled charmingly at all of them.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

"... And then there were three," I said, after we had split up with Minato. "Hey, let's actually not walk out in the open anymore and try to be sneaky about this."

"I guess we should probably play it safe," Obito agreed reluctantly, "but, it's not very fun."

I smiled at Obito. "Look at you. Such a long way from a crybaby who couldn't use his Sharingan. Now you're turning into a bit of a sadist, like me!"
Kakashi shuddered. "That's a scary thought. I still have nightmares about that training regime you put him through to bring him up to our level."

Obito cringed. "I try to suppress those memories."

Kakashi reached over and mockingly patted his shoulder. "I don't blame you."

"Well you're in a better mood," I pointed out.

"I wasn't in a bad mood to begin with," Kakashi defended irritably. "Obito's tardiness just annoyed me."

"Yeah, yeah," Obito dismissed. "So what do you say, Oh-Fearless-Leader? Play it safe?"
"Given that we're at war, and we're in enemy territory, with no hope of receiving reinforcements, and we are Jōnin perfectly capable of being unseen by the enemy... I think it's a no brainer."

"Start screaming and running through the forest in hopes of starting a battle royal?" I asked slyly.

Obito swatted at me. "Bad bloodthirsty kunoichi, bad."

I giggled.

"You guessed it," Kakashi deadpanned.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง

"That was... that was actually way easier than I thought it would be," Obito said quietly, as we finally reached the bridge. "I thought we would have more adversary getting here."

It helps that we actually played it smart, and that Kakashi and I had trained Obito properly.

"Think you can destroy the bridge from here?" Kakashi asked, kneeling beside me from our perch in the trees.

"I'm offended that's even a question."

I won't even have to draw on Madara's seal for this.

Kakashi smirked at me. "Can't blame me for asking. I don't want you vomitting on me again."

"That has only happened five times in our entire life," I defended.

"She's only vomited on you five times?" Obito demanded. "You lucky bastard."
"I bought you new shoes!"

"It's not about the shoes, it's about the emotional scarring you gave me," Obito growled, a spark of mirth dancing in his eyes. "I will never look at a taiyaki the same way ever again! You have ruined them for me."

"So I overindulged a few times—"

"You're allergic and you still ate like ten!"

"I love them," I whimpered. "It's not fair I'm allergic to what I love."

Kakashi patted me consolingly on the shoulder, while I looked off into the distance and mourned my lack of ability to eat adzuki beans.

"Tragedies aside," Kakashi said slowly, "we should probably end this war."

"War on allergies?" I asked hopefully.

"Later," Kakashi promised. "Naasica, while you're destroying the bridge, Obito and I will flank the opposing forces and engage. I don't think we really need much of a plan aside from that."

"If any of you actually get hurt by such pathetic forces, I will dislocate your knees after the battle," I told them sweetly.

"You're such a good motivational speaker," Obito deadpanned. "You should teach at the academy."

"Don't give her ideas," Kakashi whispered, eyeing my smiling face carefully. "The last thing we need is an entire generation of bullwhip cracking sadists like her."

I blinked at that. "I don't have a bullwhip."

"Really?" Obito asked in disbelief. "I always pictured as someone who had a bullwhip."

"I don't have one. Really."

The two boys exchanged dubious looks.

"It's true," I insisted.

"What about a dungeon?" Obito asked. "I always thought you'd have a dungeon."

"She doesn't," Kakashi answered for me. "But she did ask for one."

"In a sarcastic tone," I lied.

"I believe him more than you right now," Obito admitted.

I sniffed, turning my head away. "Hope you like splinters, bastard."

"I've grown accustomed to wearing a cup before bed. I'll add goggles to that, and I'll be golden."

"Whoever said I would add them to your bed? I was thinking more along the lines of that nice bamboo bath—"

Obito whimpered. "I'm sorry I ever doubted you. Please forgive me, Great One. I am not worthy."

I sighed woefully. "I suppose I can show you mercy. Provided you make me more taiyaki when we return home."

"But you're—" He fell silent at my challenging look. He hung his head. "Okay."

Kakashi shook his head, then cocked his head. "We move on three. One, two, three!"

Another lovely massacre occurred that day.

(ง ⌣ ~ ⌣) ง  

Answer: Heavy Rain. Like. Wow.

Question: Who is the best well done villain in published works? It can be a written villain, like Voldewhore, or an actor who did a particularly great job, like Heath's Joker.

Up next: Politics. Politics. Politics. And a trip to the Capital.

Then Tenzou.

You know what happens after all that?

Naruto happens.

Naruto is about to happen, guys. So please bear with me as I begin to hit the fast-forward button.

Reviews are love!