Thalia wakes with a jolt.

She doesn't know where she is, only that there is commotion bustling around her, and that she is in the very centre of it. She presses her hands to the ground below her, attempting to heave herself off of it, but a hand presses firmly onto her shoulder blade and keeps her planted on the ground.

   "Stay down," they instruct. "I haven't fully healed you yet, you'll mess up the progress."

She groans, flopping backward onto what she now registers as a makeshift gurney, her head meeting the solid pillow beneath. The Healer continues their work, and Thalia lets out a choked sob at the feeling of sensation she has never been particularly fond of.

The Healer sighs frustratedly, "You must lay still, Thalia. You are only making this worse for yourself."

Truly, she is trying her best. But her body is in an immense bout of pain, and she feels as though every one of her bones has been snapped from the inside and she has been left with the sharpest parts lodged into her flesh.

She clamps a hand down onto the side of the gurney, squeezing it as tightly as she can manage. With her other hand, she digs in her fingernails to the skin of her palm, attempting to dull the pain emitting from her stomach region. But it doesn't dull, and Thalia cries out pathetically.

Finally, after what Thalia suspects is the worst healing she has ever been the recipient of is over, the Healer steps back and dusts their hands off, "Done."

Thalia tried to push herself up again, but once more, the Healer tuts as though they are scolding a misbehaving child and forces her back down, "You cannot move yet, you need to rest."

"You need to back off," Thalia snarks, slapping the Healers hand away. She does not recognise the man, whose tawny hair and nimble fingers she has quickly come to despise, but can tell he is older from the aged lines on his face. "Seriously, dude. Get away from me."

He shoots her once last glare, but steps back. Thalia gives him a sarcastic smile, finally succeeding in the task of getting off of the gurney. The pain in her side, though palliated by the work of her new worst enemy, still stung as she lowered herself to the ground.

"Go easy on it," the Healer advises.

Thalia scowls, muttering to herself, "Go easy on yourself."

Examining her surroundings, Thalia comes to the realisation that she is (somehow) back at camp. This is indicated by the First Army soldiers wandering the grounds, and the Ultralight stationed near the edge of the camp. She does not know how she got back here or why, only the feeling of a knife plunging into her side, her head cracking against the ground, then the darkness.

Upon attempting to scrape a hand through her hair and sort the mess out, Thalia finds the now dried blood from her earlier fall. She cringes at the feeling, retracting her hand and wiping it down on her Kefta. She does not know how the knife infiltrated literal bulletproof material, but Thalia supposes it all has to do with who is wielding the weapon.

She limps her way toward the Grisha tent, pressing a hand against her wound. She really should have let the Healer polish off his work, but she's not going back now. Not when Snarky McSnark will applaud himself for having been right.

Thalia has already been stabbed, she doesn't need her ego bruised too.

She (somehow) manages to make it to the Grisha tent without collapsing, and practically stumbles through the doorway and onto the armchair that was usually occupied by Zoya. She sinks into it with a wince, leaning onto her side to try and lessen the pressure on her wound.

Unsure of what to do with herself, Thalia closes her eyes and leans her head up toward the ceiling. She imagines the stars in her bedroom, a small comfort in this utterly mind boggling situation.

And soon, Thalia falls asleep, soothed by the ruckus outside and oblivious of the impending doom that awaited her.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Several days later, and Thalia is still none the wiser about the location of the Grisha she last remembered being with. According to the head of camp, they had sent for First Army soldiers in the area to transport Thalia back to the camp while they continued the hunt for Alina Starkov and the Stag.

The soldiers had done as they said, and that explained how Thalia was back at the camp she never seem to be away from lately. Still, it didn't explain the sudden influx in Grisha and guests from all over that she did not recognise.

   At least, it didn't.

But then one morning, as Thalia miserably ate her breakfast, a body planted themselves next to her at the table and started up a conversation that could only have originated from one place. Or rather, one person.

   "So, I've been thinking about the man I want to marry. But I've got a dilemma, I can't decide whether or not I'd like children with brown hair or blonde. Genetically, they are more likely to inherit my hair colour, but what if something goes wrong in there and I end up with ginger children?"

Simply put, Thalia squealed. If you want to dive deeper into the specifics, then you should know that Thalia felt as though the air had been stolen from her lungs for days and the returned out of the blue upon Zoya's return, leaving her gasping and trying to comprehend the situation.

"Where have you been?!" Thalia cried, wrapping her arms around Zoya's shoulders and pulling the girl into an overly tight hug. "I've been here all alone for days and I didn't know why."

Zoya laughs breezily, slinging an arm around Thalia's waist and squeezing back with just as much fervour, "We went to find the Stag, remember?"

   She nods, feeling anticipation begin to brim, "Did you?"

And if the look on Zoya's face is any indication, then the mission was a resounding success. But her face does not show the expression Thalia had believed it would, but rather. . . regret?

"Something. . . happened," Zoya reveals, her voice heavy. Any cadence of joy that she might've held before was gone. "We can't talk about it here, come on."

Following the tug of her arm, Thalia dazedly follows Zoya back to the Grisha tent. It is now filled with other Grisha, but the two go into the designated bedroom area and blows the doorway closed. From there, Zoya takes a seat on her bed and pats the bottom of it with a shoed foot, indicating for Thalia to sit.

She does as instructed, her chest feeling suddenly constricted. She doesn't understand, doesn't know what's going on, doesn't know where Mal is or whether or not they managed to find the Stag, doesn't know if Alina is okay.

Doesn't doesn't doesn't doesn't—

Then Zoya speaks, and this time, the breath truly is stolen from Thalia's lungs. Zoya's voice is monotone, but the fear is evident and Thalia doesn't know what to do. She doesn't know anything, and that thought was more terrifying now than it had ever been before.

"I don't know what his plan is," Zoya continues, her voice lowered to a mere whisper now. "But I have a feeling we're going to have to fight back."

And when Thalia falls into bed that night, alongside Zoya because the thought of being alone the night before they may die is utterly paralysing, she feels as though everything that had happened in the past few months suddenly made sense.

She had never been meant to live a normal life, and the events of tomorrow's trip across the fold might prove that once and for all.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

According to Zoya, Mal was taken somewhere in the camp by Ivan. He had been heavily injured at the scene, then healed, but was now being held hostage. She did not know the exact location of Mal's whereabouts, but had told Thalia that it was likely somewhere that was usually secluded and not guarded.

So, when Thalia woke the next morning before sunrise, unable to sleep any longer no matter how hard she tried, she pulled on her boots and Kefta and made her way out into the camp.

The only people awake assumed to be those preparing for the journey. Guards began preparing tables for the check in that would take place morning, cooks starting to put together materials for breakfast.

Thalia's wound is better now. Not best, and she doesn't think she'll be able to handle a heavy brawl until she finally has a Healer see to it again, and she now suspects that she very well might've broken her hip on impact.

But as Zoya said, she has a feeling that they'll need to prepare for a fight. So Thalia puts pressure on the wound, attempting to get used to the pain so that she can ignore it easier should a fight come around.

She reaches the centre of the camp, now surrounded by a number of tents. There is the Grisha tent, the tent designated for First Army, Kirigan's tent, the breakfasts tents and the medical tents. And none of those seem like a practical idea, so she keeps looking.

That's when she spots the stable. That is the only place that Thalia can think of him being kept, because nobody has any reason to go into the stable since they are all travelling via the Ultralight as of today.

So she sets off toward it, her boots tracking heavily in the mud. Hopefully it rains before they set off, and her tracks are melted before someone finds them. When she arrives, she finds the guard fast asleep in his chair, arms folded over his chest and chin tucked into his neck. She rolls her eyes, scoffing lightly under her breath, sneaking past him just in case he's faking and pushing through the slightly closed door into the stable.

The occupant she finds, you ask? Well, the answer is simple. The only living beings in this stable are Thalia, the guard, and a Saintsforsaken goat.

Where Mal is, Thalia doesn't know. He might've run for the hills by now, or he might be hiding in the very tent she had just left. Either way, she does not have a good feeling about it.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

The sun rises eventually, and Thalia finds Zoya as soon as she can. The aforementioned girl is sitting at the breakfast table, though she is not eating. Zoya swirls her fork around the plate, picking meaninglessly at her unidentifiable food.

Thalia sits at the table, pouring a glass of orange juice and lifting it to her lips, "Mal is gone."

Zoya's head whips around to meet her eyes, "What?!" She hisses.

"Mal is gone," Thalia repeats. "I went to the stable where I suspect he was being kept, and all I found was a sleeping guard, a goat, and a pair of stray handcuffs."

   "I don't understand," Zoya said. "How can he be gone? Why hasn't Kirigan raised an alert?"

   Thalia sighs, "I don't know. I don't know where he is or if he's safe, but I just. . . want to know that he's okay."

The other girl begins to stand up, wiping down her Kefta lightly and frowning at Thalia, "That's the thing about loving someone, Thalia. You just want them to be okay, even if you know that it's the last thing they are."

She's too wrapped up in her thoughts to notice the exact words Zoya used, so Thalia barely manages a nod, swallowing the lump in her throat.

   Wherever you are, Mal, she thinks. Please be okay.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thalia does not think she has ever seen the skiff this packed. In every corner, there is a Grisha or there is a guest. Every twist and turn is packed, shouts echoing from every which way and making Thalia feel as though she is being consumed by the commotion.

At the main sails, Zoya is perched in her signature blue Kefta beside Feliks. Her eyes are dark as she watches on at the uproar below, and Thalia is envious of the small area that Zoya luckily gets to herself. She shakes herself of the jealously, knowing that now is not the time, and takes her place at the heart of the skiff.

She spots Alina at the front of the skiff, her attire a simple beige shawl. Thalia had not seen her since the night of the winter fete, but after the explanation from Zoya about the happenings on their hunt. She had not went into detail, but nothing could have prepared Thalia for the sight that she comes face to face with when Alina shrugs off the shawl.

Almost immediately does Thalia recognises the antlers of Morozova's Stag. But this time they are not on the stags head, but melded into Alina's collarbone area, and Thalia feels bile rise in her throat. The antlers look as though they have been forced through the barriers of Alina's flesh, her body violated by them.

Then, she feels the skiff begin to move. No longer does she have time to gawp and gaze at Alina, and quickly rushed to her designated place before she was scolded.

Thalia cannot bring herself to pay attention as they push into the Fold, feeling as though she is right back at the scene of Zaria's death. The area where her blood had been splattered was wiped clean, as if she had never been there at all. Like she had never existed.

And that's how Thalia had been acting lately. She would rather have pretended that Zaria never existed than face the grief and admit that she was gone. Admit that she would never see her face or hear her laugh again.

Admit that she was truly alone, no matter how much she tried to convince herself otherwise.

Kirigan and Alina seem to be having an altercation, and when she attempts to walk forward, he pulls her backward and pushes his hands down onto her shoulders. Light bursts from her chest, carving a tunnel into the darkness of the Fold.

Confused chatter breaks out between the guests aboard, each and every one of them as confused as Thalia had felt before Zoya had explained what happened. Kirigan had killed the Stag, and David had bonded he and Alina together using a piece of the same antlers melded into Alina's chest. Her power was no longer her own.

   The skiff stops.

Thalia, for the slightest moment, allows her focus to falter. When there is light the Volcra will not dare come near, and she does not need to listen out for their heartbeats. Her gaze travels the skiff, across the guests rapidly falling into a tightly packed circle, worry etched on their features.

Kirigan takes centre stage and divulges into a speech, his voice booming. What his words are, Thalia does not know and does not particularly care. It is surely nothing she hasn't heard before.

But a single moment can turn out be momentous, especially when one moment Novokribirsk and its waiting citizens are visible, and the next the Fold is surging forward to claim them as its own.

Alina pushes the light further in attempt to combat the expanding darkness, but Kirigan merely forces her to the ground. Zoya has appeared beside Thalia, her mouth hung open in horror, a silent cry. Of the few things that she knows about Zoya, it is that she has family in Novokribirsk. Family that have no doubt just had their lives stripped away from them.

Kirigan steps to the front once more, his voice amplified by the terrified silence around them. "Today, we redraw all the maps. With the power of the Sun Summoner at my command, I control the Fold and its monsters. I can move it to any border I like." He pauses there, as the Zemeni minister breathes in sharply. He smirks, like a teenage boy who just had his first kiss with the prettiest girl in his year.

He continues, "Engulf any harbor. Consume any city. Take what you have seen back to your home countries. Tell the Fjerdans. Tell the Shu Han. There will be no more war with Ravka. All countries will answer to us. For who would oppose us now?"

   A gunshot rings out.

Mal pushes his way through the crowd, still in possession of the gun that he had presumably used to shoot at Kirigan. He pushes past the guards armed with rifles, but as he steps nearer Kirigan, Ivan slows his heart and he drops to the floor.

   "Keep him alive," Kirigan demands. "He could be useful to us."

   Alina attempts to reach out to him, "Mal—"

Kirigan glowers as he heaves her up from the ground, "Focus. You put your attention on the light that's keeping us all safe, or your friend dies now."

Her arms stretch out and her power surges, amplifying the fading light. She crippled to the floor once more, reaching for Mal's hand desperately. Thalia's heart is in her throat as Zoya walks backward, followed by Feliks, her face set in fury.

The Zemeni minister steps forward, "General Kirigan, this will only turn the world against you and all Grisha." She tells, and if that isn't the truth then Thalia doesn't know what is. "You'll be seen not as a savior, but a heretic."

She is helpless to watch as the sounds of guns cocking diminishes and the people holding them drop to the ground as Mal had moments ago, falling into a crumpled pile at Ivan's hand.

   "Shame," Kirigan notes, "I'll have to give that speech again now."

The skiff begins moving once more, Zoya at the main sails, and Kirigan calls out her name. She does not reply, but to Thalia, that is answer enough.

Always be prepared for a fight, Zaria had said. Never let yourself be caught off guard.

She had been caught off guard too many times, and Thalia would not allow herself to lose another friend to this damned Fold.

Another gunshot comes from behind her, but Thalia jumps out of the way quickly enough to avoid being hit. Her Kefta might be bulletproof, but it still hurts like a bitch. The gun and its owner clatter to the ground.

Then, from the main sail, a knife propels through the air. It lands square in Kirigan's chest, and her mouth quirks up in a smile on its own accord. Bullseye.

Kirigan seizes, demonic black veins crawling up his neck, and he pries the knife from his chest. "It will take more than this!" He screams, his voice raw. He brings the darkness further toward them, pausing it at the edge of the main sail. "You stay in the dark."

   A Volcra laments in the distance.

Thalia does not wait a second, pushing her way through the remaining crowd and toward the main sail. She heaves herself up just as Zoya is thrown to the ground, and her breath catches in her throat. A girl leans over Zoya, repeating her name rapidly. Thalia climbs the rest of the way up.

She kneels down beside Zoya, looking at the girl, "Deal with the Volcra," she instructs, "I've got her."

The girl gives a nod, pushing up onto her feet once more and tearing knifes from her pockets, throwing them in every direction with expertise. Thalia focuses on Zoya, speeding her heart to wake her while she keeps her blood flow steady.

   "Zoya," she urges. "Zoya, come on. Wake up."

The scene is all too much like Zaria's death. Zoya has the same blank look on her face, her eyes rolled to the back of her head. It's the same picture in different paint and Thalia can't look at it any longer. She failed Zaria by trying to do this alone, and she will not fail Zoya the same way.

She grips the side of the skiff, pulling herself to her feet. She looks down onto the lower section of the boat, but cannot see where bodies have fallen and fights have broken out. Beside her, Feliks is already dead, and the only other Corporalki on this skiff is Ivan.

Then she hears another cry, eerily close. They are no longer in the light, and the Volcra have free rein over whether or not they take the humans for their own. Then the figure plummets toward them, and, her movements are too slow, too minuscule to avoid it.

   "Oh, no," Thalia whispers as the monstrous figure gains speed and races toward her. "Not again."

But is it not the Volcra that hits her, it is the head of a cane. Not that it makes any difference, mind you. Thalia blacks out all the same.

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Thalia has never been very fond of fires. They remind her of home, when her mother would burn everything she could find to try and generate heat. They reminded her of the rare fishing trips she and her father would make before winter came, trying to reel in a few months food at once while they still had the ice to keep it fresh.

But she sat next to this one anyway, barely resisting the urge to shove her hands into it fully just so she'd feel a bit warmer. There is five people around her, each sat on their respective spot on the log that Mal had managed to drag up from somewhere.

On her left is Zoya, who has her hands stuffed between her thighs to keep them warm. On her right is the girl who she had met that night in Kirigan's war room, Kat, and she is as still as Thalia has ever seen a person. Inej is seated in the middle of the two pairs, with Zoya and Thalia on her right and Mal and Alina on her left.

Inej and Alina share a quiet conversation, all while Mal stares in Thalia's direction and she stares back. No words have to be exchanged in order for them to know the unspoken sentences that might have been.

Even as she so desired to have Mal by her side, Thalia could not bring herself to hate them for it. Perhaps if she was a different person, if this was a different world, then she'd have been able to say that she did not like it. She'd have begged for him to stay and to choose being with her.

   But Mal was not her property, and she had no claim to him.

Alina was his friend as much as she was, and she was the one in danger. If disappearing for a while was what it took to keep them both safe, then Thalia believed she could cope. She could look back on the memories they shared in the time they had together and be grateful. Be hopeful that one day they got the chance to repeat, to see one another in the light again.

Two boys, who had been identified earlier as Kaz and Jesper, had been off getting a change of clothes for Mal and Alina. They planned to take advantage of the conspiracies that would no doubt be going around in the coming days that the Sun Summoner had died on the Fold, and they were going on the run.

They returned now, Jesper carrying a heavy duffel bag filled with a change of clothes. Mal stands to greet them, accepting the bag extended to him by Jesper. Kaz, in the meantime, cannot seem to tear his eyes away from Inej, who stands with Alina.

   "So. . . will you still be trying to kidnap me?" Alina asks, arms folded over her chest.

   Jesper screws up his face for a moment, "'Course not."

   "Have you found religion, too?" Kaz questions, as though he can't believe the words Jesper is saying. His mouth is pursed in distaste, eyes narrowed slightly.

   "No," Jesper replies, frustratedly. "It's just. . . " He trails off there, and Thalia is not entirely sure she can blame him. "I'm exhausted. Besides. . . it'd be bad form to kidnap someone after they saved your life."

Thalia cannot help but laugh there, a quiet sound but one much too loud for the situation. Nobody seems to mind, their eyes flitting to her for a moment before returning to Kaz as he speaks.

   "You are quite valuable, you know?" Kaz inquires, his question directed at Alina.

She digs into her pocket, stepping forward until she and Kaz are only centimetres apart. "So is this," she tells him, and out comes a piece of jewellery worth more than Thalia can even begin to comprehend. She pushes it forward into Kaz's hands, shushing him when he goes to speak, "It's not a gift. It's to keep quiet about who I am. Where I go from here."

Kaz contemplates the offer for a beat, before nodding, "The deal is the deal."

As Mal and Alina trek off to go and get changed, Thalia turns her attention back to the fire. The flames rise and fall with the wind, tempted to go out just as much as they beg to stay alive. She recognises the feeling. When the two return, Alina is carrying the dress she had been wearing hours earlier. She tosses it into the fire.

   "I didn't expect it to burn at all," said Mal, from behind her "But it can be destroyed in the end. Just like him."

Alina looks off into the distance defiantly, avoiding his gaze. She, just as the rest of them who had trusted Kirigan were, was trying to come to grips with the reality. She might've had a warning, but it did not fill the blow when it finally hit.

Mal pulls her to the side, a hushed conversation ensuing between them.

   Beside her, Kat shivers. She has not spoken a word to her since they have been here, and Thalia had decidedly had enough. So she speaks.

   "I read your letters."

She can hear the familiar sound of breath catching in Kat's throat, and the girl raises her head to meet Thalia's eyes, "You did?" She asks, hopefully.

Thalia turns to face her fully, crossing one leg over the other and leaning toward Kat slightly, "I did. I don't remember you." Kat's face falls then, as though every one of her dreams had been crushed. Thalia holds out a hand to hush her, "I don't remember you, Katherine, but I'm willing to try."

And though the girl does not reply, her answer is clear enough in the nod she manages. If Thalia is willing to try, then that is enough for her. It was more than enough. It was more than she deserved and she did not think she would ever be able to thank Thalia for the opportunity.

Maybe she's flattering herself a bit here, but what else is she to do when Kat looks like she very well might cry?

"I have to go."

When Zoya's speaks, Thalia does a double take. The announcement was not unexpected, seeing as Zoya's family had likely just been slaughtered in the events of today and she wanted to see what happened to them, but she did not expect it to come so abruptly.

   "Wait!" Alina pleads, stepping away from Mal and toward Zoya as the girl stood, her gaze just as imploring as her voice had been.

   Inej looks at her pleadingly, "You can't go back into the Fold."

Zoya looks Inej in the eye, "To Novokribirsk. I had family in that city. I need to know how much of it is lost."

Even as the two other girls beg for Zoya to stay, Thalia cannot find herself to speak. Her lips feel as though they have been sewn shut, and she is resistant to tearing them open and joining in. If she was in Zoya's position, she would be doing the same. She had no right to be lecturing Zoya on what she should and shouldn't be doing when that was the case.

   "It's dangerous to go looking for the dead," Kaz advises, as if he has been the one in this situation before. "What you see may haunt you for the rest of your days."

Zoya gives a simple shake of her head, "Not going will haunt me more."

Thalia can only watch on as Alina embraces Zoya and Zoya freezes, evidently uncomfortable, but she wraps her arms around Alina all the same. In the time she had been watching that, Mal had found his way to her side, and sat himself down beside her.

"Will you go with her?" He asks gently, aware of the way she can't seem to stop shaking.

Thalia gnaws on her bottom lip, shaking her head, "No. I think it's something she has to do on her own."

Mal does not reply to that right away. He reaches out for one of her hands, clasping it in his own. "You're a good friend, Thalia."

She laughs at that, disbelieving, "I wish I could believe you, Mal. I really fucking wish I could believe you."

And she does. She wishes more than anything that she could believe the words that he says. But everything that she has ever had, she has broken. She has dropped it to the ground and allowed it to shatter like glass.

But even as she has not been able to fix what she has broken, Thalia has tried. She has tried to fix herself and she has tried to fix those things she dropped. She has tried and tried and tried, and she has to give herself credit for that, right?

If she is going to believe anything, then let it be that she tried.

When all is said and done, and everyone has said their goodbyes (Kat via a hug that started off Very Awkward but ended up being something she didn't know she even needed), there is but one thing to do. She catches Mal by the wrist as he is walking away, halting his movement.

   He turns his head to meet her eyes, "Yes?"

She's not entirely sure what to say to that, so she does the one thing she has had on her mind for days. She pulls out the small pile of letters that have miraculously survived the events of the last few days and holds them out to him, giving a watery smile.

"Something to remember me by."

Mal shakes his head, smiling crookedly just the way he had when they first met, "Don't think you'd be so easy to forget."

THE END

━━━

holy shit. holy fucking shit. it's done. it's over. it's finished. i will not be writing for this book anymore and the thought actually pains me??? i've been writing thalia for just over a month and i would not have finished this book had it not been for my readers. i've got a bad habit of deleting books after a week so to have finished this in such a short time is something i'm very proud of myself for.

i genuinely cannot thank you all enough for all of the love that rot has received, and all of the love you have given both me and thalia. she still has so much work to do and i am beyond excited to expand on that in book two, but finishing this book was a huge achievement for me bc i've literally never finished a fic before never mind one this long, and like i said, it would not have been possible without my lovely readers.

i'm not one for getting sappy but i genuinely love you all so much and once again cannot thank you enough for TWENTY THOUSAND READS in like a month????? that's insane????? writing thalia has been an honour and i hope you have enjoyed her story, because i certainly have.

thanks to you, this book ranked as:
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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU.

next chapter will be the epilogue, and feel free to leave any questions or anything that you may have here and on that chapter and i will happily answer them! if you are keen to keep up with the news about book two, then drop me a follow bc i never shut up ab this book. all my love, ines x