Thalia has concocted a plan.

After her small setback in Zaria's room yesterday, Thalia has officially declared herself as Not Okay. While she has known that may be the case for a rather long time, it was a big step to finally admit that she may need to seek some sort of help. As she had heard from an Alkemi named Mimi, the Little Palace had some sort of therapist. Not a qualified one by any means, but apparently this person had took it upon themselves to devote their spare time into helping other people in need. People like Thalia.

Now, don't get it twisted: it's not that Thalia can't cope alone. It's just. . . her definition of alone has never really meant alone. Zaria was always somewhere near, waiting to hear a cry for help with her arms ready. Or she would have the presence of the wind, which had not left her since she left home. But not even the wind was here to give her company today.

For the first time since she was eleven, Thalia was well and truly alone.

But she would have to get used to it eventually, so Thalia (and Zoya) thought it best that she get a head start. Get it over and done with, all that good stuff. She had an appointment to see Ludmilla on this very afternoon, and until then, Thalia would hold out.

Today was the day that Alina Starkov was due to meet the Royal Family, more specifically King Pyotr. It was his verdict that would determine whether or not Alina would be allowed to continue her stay at the Little Palace. He who would decide whether or not she was really the Sun Summoner they had all prayed for, or if she was pulling some elaborate hoax.

Of course, Thalia knew first hand what the answer to that question was. Could it even be classified as a question anymore, when she had seen Alina pour light into the tent with her very own eyes? You would have to be a fool to deny the evident truth.

Alina Starkov was the Sun Summoner, and it was she who would bring down the Fold.

Thalia could not imagine how Alina must be feeling. Having been dragged away from everyone she knew, being told she had a power that many believed did not exist. Going from a meagre Cartographer who had by some mishap ended up on a skiff to the other side of the fold to the Sun Summoner in a matter of hours.

Had she been in Alina's place, she might've thrown herself overboard as soon as the light died down. It takes a certain willpower to go into a battle blinded, Thalia supposed. None the matter, this wasn't about Thalia. It was about Alina, and it was about the promise she had made to Mal.

She wasn't entirely sure when she would have the opportunity to get Alina alone again after today, so she was taking the opportunity by the reins and getting word to Alina as soon as she could. Mal couldn't wait forever, and Thalia didn't want this responsibility weighing her down any longer than it had to.

Thalia gives herself a final once over in the mirror as a knock sounds at her door, puffing air into her cheeks. Her Kefta is the same as ever, hair swept back into two small braids at the sides of her face. She looks alright for someone who feels as if they are falling apart.

Something about her hair is rather peculiar, Thalia thinks. She isn't sure when she learned the skill nor when, but whenever she thinks upon the memory, it feels as though someone is. . . missing.

Weird.

But soon, she will begin to piece herself back together. For now, she would follow the motto of Fake It Till You Make It.

   "You got this," she whispers the encouragement, plastering on a smile, "You totally got this."

Another knock. "Thalia, we have to go. Now."

"You got this. Coming, Zoya!"

Zoya looks less than pleased to have been made to wait when Thalia steps outside, but she simply aims a bright grin her way and starts her way to the Grand Palace. Zoya catches up easily, her mouth twisted in uncertainly.

   "What's got you so cheery?"

Thalia shrugs her shoulders, "It's a lovely day outside. We're going to see the King react to a real life Sun Summoner. Alina will prove that she's real and start training to take down the Fold. What's not to be cheery about?"

Fake it till you make it.

Unconvinced, Zoya keeps her pace matching Thalia's and continues questioning. "I'm not saying they aren't, Thalia, but you have a bit of a reputation for being a—"

   "— a Negative Nedi? I know. However, I've decided I'm going to change that. Be more joyful. Appreciate what I've got." It is evident that Zoya is still not convinced, but Thalia doesn't give her the option to question any further. "We'd better hurry up. I want a good spot for the show."

With that, Thalia takes off on her two feet and practically sprints to the Grand Palace with Zoya hot on her heels, not one for being left in the dust. She's panting when she gets there, but its worth it, given the fact she's managed to bag what might be classified as front row seats had they been sitting.

A large group of Grisha form by the time that Alina arrives, accompanied by General Kirigan. Soon after them Genya, the Queen's personal Tailor, follows. She takes a place at the back of the crowd, and it saddens Thalia a little bit. She'd been excluded by both Grisha and workers at the Grand Palace.

Before she can think on the topic any longer, General Kirigan begins speaking to the King and Queen, whose older son Vasily is beside them. Prince Nikolai had not been sighted for quite some while, off serving in the First Army, as far as Thalia was aware.

She often wonders if the rumours of him being a bastard are what drove him away, or if it really was just the desire to serve his country. Either of the options would be enough of a motivation to drive a willing participant away from the throne.

Familiar darkness vanquishes any light in the room, called upon by General Kirigan. Thalia suppresses the shiver that attempts to get the better of her, keeping her focus on Alina, who once more begins to illuminate light as soon as General Kirigan's hand comes into contact with her skin.

As she had on the skiff and in the Grisha tent, Thalia watches in childlike wonder. It still seemed surreal. They had found a Sun Summoner in the very girl who stood before them, and she would take down the Fold. She would put an end to the thing that had tortured Ravka and its neighbouring countries for centuries.

The possibilities that come with banishing the Fold are endless, and Thalia struggles to bite back the smile that comes to her with thinking of them. She can visit Novyi Zem in Zaria's honour, alongside Kerch. She can seek out the city where she grew up, perhaps find a pendant of her childhood. Perhaps she would even return home, seek out her mother and father. She wondered if they'd even want to see her, but that was silly. This was Mama and Papa, of course they'd want to see her.

. . . Wouldn't they?

Thalia is too caught up in her thoughts to realise when the light fades, only brought back to the present when a thunderous applause erupts across the room. She shakes herself free of the painful notions clutches, joining in on the applause. She wouldn't let her mind get the better of her, not today.

General Kirigan moves onto discussing terms of Alina's staying at the Little Palace with the King, and has secured his permission after a short conversation. Thalia's grin is genuine this time, unable to suppress the joy that comes over her. Alina is embraced by Ludmilla first, soon being passed around the group of Grisha.

Thalia squeezes gently as Alina comes to her, leaning back slightly to speak, "Hi, my name is Thalia, nice to meet you. Please don't shoot the messenger here, but Mal has asked that I have you write to him."

Alina looks puzzled for a moment, "You know Mal?"

   "Sort of. We've spoken a few times, but that's not important. Will you please be sure write to him, though? He's really worried about you."

   Nodding, Alina puts out a breath, "Is he okay?"

   "Honestly? I have no idea. He was a bit frazzled when he caught me before we left, but I hope he's calmed down a bit by now. I'll be writing him tomorrow if you'd like to send our letters off together."

Alina's face contorts into a further confused expression, "Are you two friends? It's cool if you are, obviously, but I didn't think he was cool enough to have friends other than me."

Thalia laughs brightly, squeezing Alina once more, "I think he's alright, personally. I've got to go because I have something to do, but if you want to send your letter with mine then just let me know."

"I will, and thank you for relaying that message! I wasn't sure whether he was annoyed with me or not, but now I know I can write and not fear having my head being bit off."

She shrugs her shoulders, beaming at Alina, "Anytime."

━━━

no updates this weekend! gonna try do some prewriting for next weeks updates so i can keep up with daily updates and catch up on reading i've been unable to do since literally all i've done the past week or so is write... anyway, thank you for reading and pls don't forget to vote bc it means a lot and takes ONE SECOND!!!

in the meantime, here is a list of  various shadow and bone fics that i recommend with every ounce of my being bc they are masterpieces !! also feel free to recommended your own at this section since i'm always looking for others to read <3

wildest dreams, mal oretsev by grshavrses
quiet game, kaz brekker by durasts
don't blame me, kaz brekker by jupitersastrals
arsonists lullaby, zoya nazyalensky by solarstarkovs

and finally, my bestie (who i named thalia after it's an inside
joke😩‼️) fic: tear you apart, kaz brekker by kazstarkovs it's rather insane how katya levitsky is everything to me