Chapter four - naked art is very important to Gerard

Frank's point of view


I am sex. Sex is me. Sexy sexuality.
FallOutLola's really bored. FallOutLola is a whore.
Frerard, baby, let's read some Frerard, wooo

I'm not even high. I'm just completely psychotic

Um. Onto the story. Go ahead and read, my skittles.

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“We need to tell Rose about your mom,” I said.

Gerard stared at me, jaw stiff and eyes sharp all of a sudden. “No.”

“Gerard, she needs to know,” I said, switching off the TV. I wanted to talk about this properly. It was late and Rose was asleep, and we were going to have a sensible, adult conversation. “It’s not fair.”

“Why isn’t it fair?” Gerard asked exasperatedly. “Why does she need to know? It happened before she was born, so the information will be of little use to her.”

“Just a couple of days ago you were up all night worrying about how stressed she’s been lately. This is what she’s stressed about. She just wants answers, Gee.”

Gerard groaned and raked a hand through his hair, distressed. I knew the reason he was refusing to tell Rose didn’t have anything to do with protecting her. He was protecting himself. He didn’t want to dwell on the topic of his mother’s death any longer, and if Rose knew how it happened, there would be questions and discussions and confusion and it could potentially break him.

But Rose deserved to know.

“How does it feel not having a clue about who your dad is?” I asked abruptly.

“Shit,” Gerard shrugged. “Quit changing the topic.”

“Imagine how Rose feels not knowing her mother. Imagine how she feels knowing that you could tell her but just won’t out of stubbornness.”

“For fuck’s sake, Frank, it’s not out of stubbornness!” Gerard hissed.

“I know, I know, but Rose doesn’t, does she? She doesn’t know the things you went through and the things Donna went through. Maybe if you tell her she could be more sympathetic.”

Gerard sighed, defeated. “Maybe,” he muttered.

“You wanna be a good parent, but it’s hard. I know. So… how about you tell her and then I make it up to you later?”

Gerard raised an eyebrow. “Make it up to me how?”

“Well,” I said. “I have a couple of ideas.”

“Go on?”

“I could, um…” I was trying to think of something sexy but nothing came to mind. Gerard wasn’t one for dirty talk or outfits or anything. “Coffee,” I blurted out.

Gerard instantly perked up. “Yes?”

“I’ll get you a whole bag of coffee– the expensive kind– and you can have as much as you want. Plus–”

“Sold.”

“I wasn’t done.”

“You had me at coffee.”

“Oh, okay,” I said nonchalantly. “It’s not like I was finally going to offer to model for you. But, I guess it’s too late now. You’ve agreed.”

“What?” Gerard asked exasperatedly. “No, please, Frank. You know I’ve wanted to paint you for so long,” he complained.

“Nah, I’m just messing with you,” I laughed. “I’ll do it for free.”

Gerard’s face lit up. “Really?”

“Yeah, of course,” I grinned.

“Naked?”

I chewed on my lip thoughtfully before I came to a decision. “Fuck it, why not?”

Gerard grinned and hugged me. “Awesome,” he mumbled into my shoulder.

He loved painting probably a bit too much, and had been whining about not having any proper models for months. He had been dropping hints that he wanted me to do it, but I was kind of on the fence. Taking my clothes off? Sure, that was fine. But seeing how Gerard saw me, printed on paper? Permanently?

A little scary.

But life is short and I was bored, so screw it. Why the hell not? I just quietly hoped that this wasn’t going to be one of those times where I’d been brave and taken a risk and then it had blown up in my face spectacularly.

There were too many examples of that to count.

----

We were eating dinner the next night when Gerard first tried to bring it up. ‘Tried’ being the key word here.

“So, um,” he mumbled. “Rosie.”

“Hm?” Rose looked up, mouth full of spaghetti.

“You, uh, you have two dads,” Gerard said plainly.

Rose raised an eyebrow. “I know,” she said slowly. “You’re one of them. Legally, at least.”

Gerard nodded. “You. You used to have a mom.”

Rose’s face turned more serious. “Yes.”

“My mom,” Gerard said.

“Our mom. Yes.”

Gerard opened his mouth to say something but it just dropped closed again. He froze up.

“Gee,” I said carefully. I took his hand in mine, trying to gently coax it out of him. “Come on, honey.”

“I–” His eyes darted from Rose to the floor, and he shook his head. “Frank, I can’t,” he mumbled. “I don’t know how.”

Any more attempts to get him to speak were futile, as Gerard was stubbornly convinced that he was done for the day. He went to sleep at eight o’clock and informed me that if I woke him earlier than midday then he would castrate me and sew my balls to my neck.

I was slightly unnerved by this.

Gerard was sweet, but sometimes he could be a real fucking psycho, and I didn’t want to take my chances. I liked my balls where they were.

----

The second time Gerard tried to bring it up was marginally more successful.

I’d been trying to make a nice dinner, but as usual, everything was burning. Everyone had agreed on takeaway and I’d been scrolling through Just Eat for the past ten minutes.

Gerard sipped his coffee, glancing over to where Rose was sat doing homework on the living room floor. “Mom was shot,” Gerard said candidly. My hand froze on the mousepad.

Rose blinked and dropped her pen. “Sorry?”

“Mom. She was shot. Back in Jersey.”

Rose looked a little shellshocked. “Why?”

Gerard froze up again. He turned to me for help.

I sighed. I wanted to tell Rose everything, but I knew it would upset Gerard later. It was one of those stupid little things that you had to get used to. He had to do it himself.

“Rose,” I said. I paused. “He’ll tell you more tomorrow.”

Gerard nodded.

I think he knew he was overreacting. He was just the sort of person who was oversensitive to shit like this. I’d got used to it over time, though.

Oddly enough, out of the two of us, Rose was definitely more like me than Gerard. She was loud and outgoing and she felt like she needed to know everything. Then again, her stubbornness was most certainly a trait she inherited from Gerard’s family. Mikey and Gerard were very obstinate and I saw that in Rose far too often.

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“Dad. I need answers. Now,” Rose snapped. “Can you stop freaking out and just get it the fuck over with?”

It was four in the morning. Gerard and I had been asleep.

“Rose,” I groaned, my voice gravelly and my eyes still half shut. “Do we have to do this now? I have work tomorrow.”

“I need to know,” she pleaded. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

Gerard made an irritated noise and buried his face in his pillow. “Tomorrow,” he moaned. “You can wait.”

“Dad. I’ve already waited sixteen years.”

“Four hours will fly by compared to that,” Gerard said dryly, his voice muffled by the pillow.

“Dad!” Rose hissed. She turned to me. “Papa, come on. This isn’t fair. Make him tell me.”

I shied back. “I can’t make him do anything.”

“Then tell me yourself,” she snapped. “I’m a freak. If I can’t be normal, I at least deserve to know why.”

This had gone on for too long. She was right.

I elbowed Gerard. “Gee, wake up. Get up.”

“No,” he groaned.

“Gerard, get the fuck up.”

“Fuck off,” he whined.

“Right,” I said. “Rose. Go downstairs; wait in the kitchen. We’ll be down in five.”

Rose nodded, then disappeared out of the bedroom and shut the door behind her.

I flicked Gerard in the back of the head. “Get up.”

“No, Frank, please,” he groaned. His face was still shoved in the pillow. I took advantage of that.

I leaned closer to him and licked a stripe up his neck. He shrieked and squirmed, and once he had recovered, he glared at me furiously.

“I’m sorry,” I said, diffidently wiping his neck with my sleeve. I smoothed down his hair and kissed him apologetically. “It had to be done. Now get up.”

“I can’t–”

“Don’t you say that you can’t, Gerard. Your daughter thinks she’s a fucking freak. If she just had a sliver of information, a tiny reason for being the way she is, I know she would be so much happier and so much surer of herself. I know you think this is going to destroy you, Gee, but it’ll be easy. Remember how I’m making it up to you?”

“Coffee,” Gerard said weakly. “Naked art.”

“Yes. Just come downstairs and spend half an hour telling your daughter about who her mom is. Easy peasy.”

“Easy peasy,” Gerard echoed.

We got out of bed, and with Gerard’s hand in mine, we went downstairs.

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It's gonna get good soon, I promise. Please vote anyway, and I'll update faster xD

But for now, let's just continue that thingy I started last chapter. Remember the thingy? With the questions? Now... My answer to "What was the last lie you told?"

"Yeah, mom, I'll start my homework in just a sec."
*wattpads* *tweets* *texts bae* *messages bruh* *makes jam sandwich* *eats jam sandwich* *doodles tattoos* *doodles pizza* *makes pizza* *eats pizza* *realises it's been four hours* *eats homework*

I trust you can relate.

xoxo