John pov

"I love you to james."

I make myself a toaster waffle smearing it with jelly. (Y'all jelly on toaster waffles is awesome i highly recommend) Deciding to sit outside for awhile seemed nice.

I go to the backyard and sit on the old swings i haven't sat on for years. I remember when mom would push me and i would yell when she pushed me to high. I even jumped off one time, scared when i went real high.

I broke my arm and pouted the whole time. I was mad that i broke my arm and sad that i couldn't swing no more.

Memories..

I take a bite of my waffle, and slowy rock myself forward and back.

It's still early out. Nice cool air before the hot sets in. The sun is coming up, ready to bring light to the dark.

7 year old me would be awake now, ready to watch cartoons that aired at 7am.

Looney toons was my favorite.

The stupidity of it was entertaining, that dumb wolf formulating plans that never worked to catch the road runner. Each episode of him failing to catch him.

Bugs bunny and his way of playing with the hunters or enemies that tried to mess with him.

Simple times..

When mom and dad actually got up when i jumped on them yelling to make me pancakes. They just groaned and smiled.

I feel a tear slip down my face, and i wipe it away.

I wince, my cheek is still sore..

That's all gone now.. All those happy times when i was little..

Now im not even sure they love me, or any of their kids.

Mary is just a toddler, james and henry kids.

They don't understand all this drama.

I want the old days back, when dad would never think of hurting his own child, when mom wasn't getting hit, when we were all happy.

Before i knew it, i was sobbing silently.

"Why is daddy mean bubba?" James asked staring up at me with his child like eyes.

"I don't know james.. He's just a little grumpy. It'll be ok." I reply, and hug him.