It's tranquil out in the desert.

The sand is almost calming, bringing your gaze in with gentle slips and searing heat. Most would find this place terrible or at the very least unbearable.

I found it oddly calming. Perhaps it was because it's in my blood. My ancestors, whoever they were, came from the desert with their strange eyes and their mystic powers.

I never truly understood who or what they were. My father's notes only told me that they were 'ancient' and that they 'escaped from the heavens.' That could mean a lot of things.

It could also mean a whole lot of bull too.

Whatever they were, it was best to be forgotten. The Anwar clan has existed for too long, with my siblings dead it's just me now. I suppose my father would also be important but he's locked up and I doubt he'd ever get out.

The desert is a strange place but it was once home for me.

Before the stronghold in the mountain, before I torched my siblings, before any of it.....There used to be a city here, made up of tents and old ruins; bustling and busy with the sounds of gunfire and soldiers marching through. At the center of it was my family.

We had the largest compound, a blend of old and new that overlooked our little kingdom. My father even had a chair that looked like a warped throne and a hall were he and his generals would meet.

Now there's nothing left but a few scraps of metal and some stone that resembled a building if you looked close enough.

It was my work. My magnum opus if you will.

Burning this place down to the ground had been the start of the end for my family.

The bouquet of flowers in my hand are starting to melt due to the heat and yet I can't find it in myself to move away from my spot just yet. I chose poppies for my siblings, reds ones specifically to represent the Anwar clan.

My mom told me that poppies also meant peace and death. I guess that's true. Well.....the death part at least. I'm not so sure about the peace part. (I'm still working on that myself.)

I don't know where Miriam's and Amir's bodies are. Fury told me that they were 'taken care of.'

Vague. Whatever that means. The man is vague beyond belief. They could be in a government faculty or ashes and I would never truly know.

I won't act like I cared for them, they weren't good people but for the shortest amount of time they were my family. My feelings for them aren't as black and white as they are for my father. In some twisted and pathetic way, I might have had some affection for them. Miriam and Amir night have cared for me......or they might have simply resented me. Who knows?

I can't forgive my father but at least I can forgive them.

Miriam and Amir were just pawns in my father's game and they lost their lives for it. I feel pity for them and most of all, sometime I catch myself thinking that they deserved better.

There's a lot about my family that I never truly understood. Or maybe, just maybe, I never truly cared.

But I could do this at least.

"Are you ever going to move?" I rolled my eyes, and wrapped the scarf around my head tighter. "Or do you plan to turn into a statue and be lost to the sands of time?"

I turn my head. "Loki..... darling, if you have a problem with the heat you can stay in the plane," I said sarcastically.

Loki givens me a disbelieving look before he scoffs and turns his head back to the desert. He doesn't have anything to shield him from the sun, most likely he doesn't need to. He's cold to the touch despite the sun bearing down on us. Perks of being a frost giant, I guess.

"So this is it then?" He raised an eyebrow and I couldn't blame him for the lackluster reaction.

There's not much to show off.

"Yeah," I nodded. I felt disconnected, like a ballon floating through the air. "This was where it all started. There's not much left since.....you know, I blew it up."

"It's.......charming."

I laughed and playfully shoved him. Loki, for all his smarminess and attitude, sat down next to me. He didn't say anything after that. I think Loki knew that I was grieving in silence because it was easier to keep everything in my head. For that, I was glad he was here.

He reached out to take my hand, entwining our fingers. I squeezed his hand back gently, anchoring myself back in place.

"There are so many, many things in life that I wished I could go back and change," I said, unsure of what I'm suppose to feel. "I wish that I could've known them before they were so twisted up on the inside, before my father ruined them. I hated being so alone, I didn't have anyone besides my mother. For the shortest amount of time, I had them at least. I just don't know if I'm suppose to mourn them or hate them."

"Well, you have me." Loki lifted our entwined hands to his lips and pressed a kiss to the back of mine. I smiled at him, ignoring the way my pulse jumped. "You have your mother and the Avengers and the doctor and that useless desk agent. What was his name? Roberts? Rifford?"

I reminded him gently. "Richards, Loki. we even went to his wedding."

"Yes, that oaf. His wife is a saint." He continued on, guesting to the desert. "But that's besides the point. What I'm trying to say is that you're no longer alone and they is nothing wrong in grieving for your siblings. As twisted and vile as they were, they were still your blood. You're allowed to grieve for family even if they hurt you, there's no shame in that."

The poppies in my hand reminded me of blood, crimson and bright.

This was a different kind of stain all together.

"Thanks, Loki."

He wrapped his arms around me, pressing his lips to my forehead. "You need a chance to say goodbye. If you don't do it now, you'll regret it for the rest of your life."

Loki's expression mirrors mine, a face full of sadness and hope. I wrap my arms around him and hold him close.

"Hey, Loki?"

"Yes, darling?"

I look into his eyes and smiled brightly. For once in my life, something felt right. "Thank you for being here."

I could say 'I love you.' It would've been simple to just say it but somehow it felt cheap. Those words were better expressed through our actions.

"How could I not be? I promised to stay by your side, didn't I?" Loki leaned in and kissed me, properly this time. A chaste little kiss that gave me some courage. "Go do what you need to do, darling. I'll be right here when you come back."

I got up and brushed off the sand. It had been years since I had been here but at least I remembered the coordinates. I was shocked to see that it was still here after all these years.

In the desert, buried deep and forgotten, lay a a rock from a lost civilization that was once powerful.

All that remained was a pillar with symbols carved into the sides. It was only and crumbling, made of granite yet it held wonders unknown. I didn't see anything of importance. To me, it was just some rock in the middle of nowhere.

I approached it, staring at the partially buried remains, hoping that I could lay their souls to rest once and for all.

On the west face of the pillar was our symbols carved in: a swan, a rose, and a bear. One was more recent than the others.

I placed the poppies underneath it.

I wish I written a speech or something. A note card at least. What could I say to them?

The rose symbol had yet to fade unlike the others. I reached up and touched it, tracing the pattern with my fingertips.

"I don't know what to say to you. I can't say 'I love you' because there wasn't any for you and I can't say 'I'm sorry' because it's not enough," I started. I took a deep breath in and. continued on. There's just so much to say and I don't have a clue where to start. "I wish that sometimes we could've been a family. We deserved so much better than the cards we were dealt and what our father did to us. You never got to experience things like love and friendship and pure happiness like I have. I can't help pity you for it despite all the terrible things you've done to me."

Pulling my hand away, I let the silent tears fall. It's an empty feeling but it feels good to just let it out. The doc tells me to stop bottling up my emotions and for once, I agree with him.

"Mom doesn't talk about you, I think it's because you broke her heart. She even had a funeral for you. What a saint," I scoffed, flicking away a stone. "It was empty caskets, so don't get your hopes up. We don't have bodies to bury anymore. Nobody attended besides mom and I. Dad couldn't come because......well, dad is in jail."

Chuckling to myself, I shrug my shoulders.

I'm running out of words to say and the tears won't stop. I don't know how to make them stop.

"I.....I'm so sorry. I'm so, so freaking sorry. Wishing is for—-" My voice breaks and I wrap my arms around myself so I don't end up sobbing. "Someone once told me wishing is for fools and you know what? They're right about that. There's nothing I can do but live the actions and consequences of our father. The hardest thing I've ever done is live and if there's one thing you two taught me it that living to spite somebody is worth it."

I take a step back and another and then another. The pillar used to be so large once upon a time, and now it was nothing.

The Anwar Curse is no more than a myth lost to the desert.

"So this is it. I'm going to live and experience the things you never did." I etch the memory of the symbols in my head. Maybe, when I no longer felt the pain I'd come back to visit. "I hope that one day that we can see each other again. And maybe, just maybe, we won't be enemies this time."

With that, I turn my back and march on. I refuse to glance back, there's nothing left for me there. Everything is in the futures and I was going to shape it was with my hands.

I was finally free of the past.

The sun would set soon and I had no intention of spending the night here. I trudged up the dune, mindful of my feet. It was easy to fall and hurt yourself out here.

Loki stood in the same place, hands in his pockets and a broody expression on his lively face. What a drama queen, I thought.

He didn't turn his head when I approached him. I just put my arms around him and held him as close as possible, drying my tears on his jacket. Loki didn't ask any questions, he wrapped his arms around me and held me in his arms. I felt safe, I felt loved and I felt protected.

It's a strange picture, him and I in the middle of the dessert. If the past me could see this, she would blanch and throw a tantrum.

Although.....I can't say I didn't expect it entirely. It's still so sudden and strange, I don't know how to navigate through these type of feelings without freaking out.

It's a good thing I have Loki with me.

He's just as clueless as I am.

I am grateful for this man. Despite his stubbornness and arrogance and so many of his self perceived flaws, I can't help but adore him for who he is. He had somehow made my world a little less brighter.......and even if he won't ever say if, I suspect that I've done the exact same thing for him.

I felt his cold lips on my forehead. "I have you, Maya. It's alright, darling." He said, gently. "It's done with now. The hard part over."

"Just hold onto me, please. You don't have to do anything. Just hold me." I pleaded.

"Of course."

"Loki?" I sniffed, pulling back to look at him.

"Yes?"

"Does it ever get easier?" I want to go home, and I want to take Loki with me. "The grieving and the anger and the endless nightmares?"

He sighed loudly. He reached up to cup my face, his thumb wiping the tears from my cheeks. "It's hard on some days and better on other. That's all I can say. It's different for me, I've always grieved in silence because it was easier than depending on someone. You're one of the strongest people I know, Maya. You will survive but you don't have to do it alone."

"I feel a bit empty. Is that normal?" I asked, fiddling with a stray piece of string.

"I.....I don't know." He kisses the crown of my head again.  "Its just....who actually knows. You've been bogged down by grief for so long that I'm certain without it you simply feel.....tired and hollow."

I chuckle, "I guess the Doc has been rubbing off on you too."

"He is an intuitive man, darling."

"Loki?"

"Yes, my darling?"

"We really, really need a vacation."

I felt his body shake, laughter rumbling through his chest. I closed my eyes and leaned into him, inhaling his scent. I think this is the longest he's ever hugged me. I'm going to enjoy every second of this.

He pushes my scarf down and runs his fingers through my hair. My hair is longer now, the ends brushing past my shoulders. I should cut it but for once I leave it. I like it when Loki brushes his fingers through my hair, it's calming. (I'll never tell him that, it'll just go to his head.)

"We do. Odin knows how much we truly need one."

A vacation. What would we even do on vacation? There's so many places I want to see and so many things I want to do!

"No Avengers, no saving the world, no drama. Just you and me in a nice log cabin for a two weeks." I could imagine it, a perfect vacation before I went back into the chaos and hubbub that follows the Avengers around like a plague.
Secluded forests, warm fires, bearskins rugs and nice cozy bed. It was perfect in my mind.

(I could almost ignore the snow. Almost.)

"I doubt Stark will mind if we borrow his cabin in Switzerland." I said.

He smirks. "No, I don't think he'll mind at all."

A/N: there will be more (mini) epilogues in the future. For now, this is a little something for all of those who want to see more of Maya and Loki. (I have no idea if their ship name is Loya or Maki?) enjoy!!!!