The snow fell over New York on a lazy November afternoon.

Stark Tower had already been decorated with Christmas lights as had the rest of the city. I sought refuge in my room to escape the smell of Pumpkin Spice and Christmas carols that left a sour taste in my mouth.

This would be my second Christmas with the Avengers and here I was dreading the oncoming holiday.

'Miss Maya, Welcome back," J.A.R.V.I.S. said, "You have several missed calls from an Emilia Crowly in the past year. Would you like to call back?"

"No," I said, unbuttoning my shirt and stepping over my bags. "Block the number."

There was a moments pause and I thought J.A.R.V.I.S. was going to say something else but instead he accepted my request leaving me alone to my thought and to a nice warm shower that I severely needed.

Several fights with the lingering members of the Anwar Clan had been a tedious battle that left me tired. I had to break bits and pieces off till the entire command had come crashing down. Thre had been times I had been tempted to simply kill every member that I came into contact with. Director Fury had been resistant when it came to me leading my own task force against them but it had been Natasha (surprisingly) who strongly suggested that I lead them because I knew the Anwar Clan best.

A year later and multiple missions of taking down an organization that had zombie soldiers and was headed by members that had been experimented on by my own father, I finally came back to Stark tower.

I fulfilled the promise I made my father and even if it was the hardest thing I had ever done, it was finished. I could put this down and end this chapter of my life.

I suppose I could say I came back 'home' but it didn't feel like a homecoming.

I walked into the lounge area expecting the constant chattering of the Avengers only to be met with silence.

Nobody was there, Loki had decided to slink off somewhere leaving me alone in the tower.

I walked up to the fridge opening it as I rummaged through hoping that there was something unhealthy to eat.

"You know," someone said behind me. "It's rude to rummage through someone's fridge."

I flinched having my head against the roof of the fridge.

"Son of a-"

"Language!"

"Har, Har." I said turning to face Tony. "Very funny, Stark."

"Welcome back," he said holding up a card and a bouquet of daisies. "It's from the team. They left for a mission earlier today."

"Well," I shrugged. "I wasn't really expecting much of a homecoming."

I grabbed an apple from the counter top and sat on one of the bar stools as Tony prepared us some drinks. It was too early to drink but who cares, i didn't care about my code or rule right now.

"So........," Tony starts as he places a glass in front of me. "J.A.R.V.I.S. told me that you blocked your mother's number......."

"If this is how this conversation is starting I'll just finish my martini in my room," I said with a deadpan.

"Look, I'm not the best with advice-"

"Gee, I wonder why."

He ignored me. "-But I know when someone's making a decision based on.....guilt."

"Tony," I said wearily.

"Hear me out!" He put his hand up to stop me as took a sip of my drink. "I know you've had it rough and I know it's gonna be a bitch but I personally think that you should go and see your mother."

"No," I shook my head. "I hurt her enough, I don't want to cause her any more damage than I already have. It's for the best."

"Bullshit." I winced. "You're just scared."

"Scared of what?" I snorted.

Tony sat across from me, arms crossed and drink untouched. His expression was between smug and haughty. Once upon a time I would've smacked it off his face.

"You're scared that you're mom will actually be happy to see you."

"What are you? My therapist?"

"You know what I mean," he pointed a finger at my face. "You want her to hate you."

"She should hate me," I murmured into my drink.

"I say she doesn't." He said, pulling something out of his jacket pocket. "And I'm willing to bet that you want to see her, too, Maya."

Tony slapped a ticket voucher on the table. I looked down at it and then back to him to see if he was serious.

"Tony, I can't--"

"You never know if your don't try and I have a good feeling about this."

*************

I leaned against the street lamp and I looked across to my home. The brick house hasn't changed a bit except for a few more potted plants and a whole new lawn.

This was stupid.

I should just turn back and go back to New York.

The last person mom wanted to see right now was me. I had caused her so much pain and she had been in danger because of me. I didn't want to put her in anymore danger but I missed her, I missed home so much that it caused my heart to lurch violently as I took a step back.

The dark thoughts weighed on my thoughts as I felt myself shrink.

I felt sick. I wanted to run away.

"And where do you think you're going?" Loki asked snapping me out of my anxiety induced thought process

"New York," I admitted as I turned away from my home. "I've caused her enough pain. She doesn't want to see me."

I knew that last part was an excuse. It was lame and stupid yet it was a flimsy excuse. I knew it was so why didn't I grow a pair and go knock on the door.

Damn brain.

I could hear Dr Franz telling me to breathe, to think thinks through and rationalize rather than jumping to conclusions.

"Any how do you know that?" I could hear the exasperation in his voice. His hand entwined with mine as he tugged me back to my spot. "Didn't you once tell me not to assume things of other people?"

"That was under different circumstances."

"But the words apply to this situation," he pointed out.

"It's infuriating when you make good points." I huffed blowing a strand out of my face. "It makes it harder for me to hate you," I said half heartedly.

"I did learn from the best."

The snow fluttered around the both of us, the soft glow of the lamp illuminated our figures as we stood close trying to gain some warmth. I looked up to Loki whose eyes were trained on my house intensely. His face gave nothing away but I could tell by the way he was playing with my fingers he was a bit nervous. I snorted causing him to snap his gaze back to me.

"What's so funny?" He asked.

"Nothing," I chirped.

"Maya ."

"It's nothing."

"When it comes to you 'I'm nothing' means something," he said.

"You're nervous." I stated when it got too quiet between us.

"I'm not nervous."

"Liar." I said as I laughed.

"I am the God of Mischief and Lies. Why would I be nervous?" He denied. "If anyone should be nervous it's you, darling. You're the one who's finally seeing your mother. I'm merely an bystander."

He was nervous with meeting my mom, specifically what my mom would say about him.

I felt my smile grown into a grin.

The feeling before had dissipated like the snowflakes leaving behind a spark of eagerness.

I didn't have to run anymore.

I knew that for months but it finally just hit me.

I wanted to break down and cry in joy when I realized that but instead I laid my head on Loki's shoulder. His hand left my hand to wrap his arm around my waist. I smiled, telling those dark thought to go fuck themselves. This was my home and that was my mom.

I could cry later.

I leaned up pressing a kiss on the corner of his lips.

Loki looked down at me with surprise. I wasn't the one to usually initiate PDA and neither were Loki but there were some moments. This was one of them.

"What?"

His cheeks were tinged a rosy red and I knew it wasn't because he was cold.

"Nothing," I said tugging him across the street. "Let's go home."

The End.