The usual plan of action was simple. Familiar. Something, no matter how trivial, would push the already teetering Rose right back into the yawning hole that had been following her for the last several years now, and she would almost gladly succumb to its frigid, empty embrace. The world would move past her, and so would the people, like tissues in the wind, but there she'd be, standing still, ever alone. And she'd drown. In memories, in loneliness, in guilt. It was easy, that slow and ever deepening descent. A cathartic form of repentance. 

This, however, was new. 

Rose pressed her forehead to the cool glass of the car, watching the ever changing scenery. She had gotten up, packed, and even made something of an effort to dress up. Yes, her hair might have been in a braid hanging limply down her back — a style she knew didn't suit her — and yes, her clothes might not have been matching, but she was here. She had moved. 

It didn't feel terrible.

"We'll be stopping for brunch in a bit," Sebastian started, casting a glance in her direction. "We're really far from the city, though, so it won't be... what you're used to."

Rose looked up at him, studying his features. "Will I get food poisoning?"

Seb chuckled. "A heartattack from the state of the place is more likely."

Rose bit back a small smile, turning her gaze back out towards the road. Seb was right, they had left the city a while back; everything around them looked rather rural now. The roads were smaller, often bumpier, with small shops ever so occasionally lining the roads. Mostly, though, trees and farms being worked on were the sights to see.

"I'm sorry," Rose mumbled, not braving a look at Sebastian. "I don't mean to—"

"Don't. You don't have to apologise, Rose."

"I just. I don't know. It's hard to explain. Sometimes it's easier to just... rot away, as you put it."

Sebastian sucked in a breath, his grip tightening on the wheel. "I didn't mean to be so crass," he mumbled out, eyes still trained on the road. "It's just... I read the tabloids, you know. After—"

He caught Rose whipping her head up, and stopped short. But, when she said nothing, he took a big gulp of air, before continuing, "After everything that happened to you. It couldn't have been easy, and of course the tabloids went into a lot of speculation and whatnot. But... you disappeared. They were all so busy trying to uncover the story," the way he said that word, with so much anger and venom, it made Rose smile. She could get on board with those sentiments. "They never seemed to talk about how horrible it all must have been for you. And before all of that, before the... the accident, you used to be everywhere. I couldn't go three days without seeing some news clipping of you–"

"So you stalked me."

Seb laughed. "More like you haunted me. I couldn't open any social media without seeing the great Rosaline Beaumont plastered all over it. It was impressive, really. On Sunday, there would be clippings of you being found in some illegal underground party, and by Monday there would be news of you winning a prestigious inter-university competition. I was honestly in awe."

Rose was smiling. "Yeah," she said softly, looking out into the open road. "I used to live quite the life back then."

"And then, just like that, you were gone," he looked at her, a strange expression on his face. "I didn't know you, of course, but it still felt... wrong. So now, when I actually see you, right here in front of me, and I see you disappearing still... I just..." He trailed off, words eluding him.

"Want to save me?" Rose asked, a hint of a teasing smile on her face.

"Want to help," Seb retorted, shooting her a look. "But I also realise I might be crossing a line. So, I don't know. I don't know what the right thing to do here is. I just... I hope you know that I'm here for you. To listen, to distract. Whatever you need. I'm here."

Rose pursed her lips, and nodded.

But she wouldn't talk to him about it, about any of it. That much, she knew. Not to him, not to anybody else. Because that day, those memories, and everything that came with it, those were hers. He was hers. All of them, secrets that she'd take to the grave.

Because talking about it would make it real. And if it was real, then she would be a monster. A cruel, murderous, unforgivable monster.

-🥀-

"We're here!"

Rose looked at Sebastian, who looked just as excited as he sounded, and then back to what looked like a somewhat rundown farmhouse.

"Where–"

Sebastian cut in before Rose could finish asking her question. "It's my Grandparents' farm."

Roses eyes widened.

Before Sebastian could come over to open her door, Rose had already stepped out, looking at what had been a rundown building just seconds ago with a newfound reverence. She took a few steps towards it, taking in the handmade swing hanging from a tree beside the house, the fence that was broken in places, the farmland that stretched out by the house, the barn in the distance.

"It's beautiful," she whispered, and it was. This was where Sebastian became what he is. This was his real home, the place she already knew so much about.

"It is," Sebastian agreed, the smile on his face radiant as he lugged their suitcases in. "I figured we could stay here a bit. As long as you want."

"But, the hotel–"

"Everything is being handled. For now, let's just... breathe."

Rose felt strangely light – something about the air here, maybe. "Yeah," she murmured, taking a step towards the house. She could do that. She could stay here, and just breathe.

—🥀—

A/N: Happy Sunday! Drop your thoughts, and a vote if you enjoyed the chapter :))

Also, if you want extra Rose content, head on over to Instagram and give my account a follow! It's @mimiakavvyik on ig.