You all really hate Taehyung huh?

When Taehyung woke the first thing he felt was home. It was an intrinsic, guttural feeling that bordered on unwelcome but he didn't quite have the heart to push it away. Jimin had made space for him here. A weird little part of him felt a need the cherish it, like it could fracture under too much pressure and cause more pain than it was worth.

He envisioned the little eggs that would once sit outside the window of his bedroom, the pale speckled shells that were so pathetically dainty and delicate; their very existence got on his nerves. He failed to appreciate them at all but once they were gone, cracked and useless, all that remained was a muddy pile of filthy twigs and moss that were in perfect harmony with the rest of his crap. And that was worse.

A pleasant warm musk of expensive cologne muddled with a cheaper mixture of floral detergents that tingled in his nostrils as he buried his face in the pillow, combating a slight waft of some kind of fried batter that his rumbling stomach was embarrassing attuned to. This was better. He was free to leave at any time and that in itself was a breath of fresh air, albeit worse now Jungkook wanted nothing to do with him. Jungkook deserved better than him anyway, he was always punching above his weight by trying to keep him.

The food that would have been cold and dry, cooked hours before when Jimin had woken up, he told himself, was not worth the energy it would take to pull himself from bed.

Yet his muscles twitched and within moments he was moving unwillingly to the doorframe, stumbling slightly over himself in a half hearted attempt to will himself back to bed and maybe order take out to have for breakfast instead.

Jimin turned to him as he thumped against the door frame, bright and welcoming.

But he wasn't alone.

Disrupting the bleak, modern colour scheme of creams, whites and soft muted tones he spied black. Soft black hair that hung in unstyled tufts that in places prodded their owner's eyelashes. The person who stared at him with hands pressed firmly into his lap, a tattooed arm cowering into a strong torso.

His thoughts were frozen silent, nothing but a creeping dreaded rising up in his throat. Slowly he turned back to Jimin who remained nonchalant, a teatowel in hand as he stood poised, shoulders in a relaxed slant.

The sight was enough to evoke plenty of things to say. A dozen a second buzzed in his mind, hanging around him in a thick tense cloud urging him to snap. His tongue pressed up into the roof of his mouth painfully and he breathed a heavy breath as he willed himself to say something, anything.

Frustrated, wetness began to pool on his eyes but still nothing happened. He forced himself to open his mouth to speak but his voice was meek. "I asked you not to get involved," Part of him blamed the pathetic little crack in his tone on having not spoken yet, he should have cleared his throat before speaking, that's why the words came out in a weak little whisper.

But he had no excuse for the words he said.

None of the empty, vapid complaints that would have been so easy to rant through his frustrations, no overbearing anger that could evoke some kind of cathartic reaction from him. The honesty suprised even himself and he soon found his breaths shallow and uncertain with a strange heady feeling he only welcomed during sex.

He hated how Jungkook's dark eyes widened with concern, how his lips pressed into a gentle pout as though he too was silently urging himself to speak.

Jimin's lips were pursed as he folded the cloth in his hands and set it neatly on the counter. "But we can make it all better now,"

"No. No we can't," He gritted, fists clenched useless by his sides. Hesitantly he took a small step back, feeling the lip of the living room rug against his heel. The boundary would do him no good, he couldn't leave, he wasn't even dressed.

Jungkook sat on the stool nearest the door, oblivious to his position guarding the exit.

"You're being close minded," Jimin huffed. "I didn't force him to come,"

"But it was your idea though wasn't it? You messaged him? For fucks sake Jimin why can't you understand not everything is your business to fucking meddle with?" The pressure in his chest lessened slightly and he breathed a sigh of relief at the release.

For just a moment he felt less trapped. Jungkook's expression shifted, less empathetic.

Jimin wasn't meeting his eyes anymore, stare pointed downwards, unfocused. His lower lip was caught between his teeth and brows furrowed.

No one spoke; no one needed to. It was evident enough to Taehyung that neither person in the room was his biggest fan at that moment. His solace was shortlived and undeserved. He moved to take another step back but the rug at his heel held him in place, he still had nowhere to go.

With a weary gulp he wet his lips and turned back and slunk into the bedroom, shutting the door behind his back with a soft click. The firm wood against his back was reassuring despite the hushed voices audible from the other side.

Bitterness rose up his throat as he eyed the crumpled bedsheets. He should've stayed there. Maybe then this wouldn't have happened. He could pretend that Jimin had changed, that he wouldn't try disregard his wishes in an attempt to fix anything he could get his hands on.

He pulled back the covers to pick out his shirt that he'd ripped off during the night, feeling how the cotton sheets were still warm to touch. He pulled them taut, not intending to return as he dressed himself and gathered his belongings.

He'd just buttoned his jeans and slid his phone and wallet deep into the pockets, stalling desperately in the room for something that would stop him needing to face the door.

His avoidance was cut short with a soft knock.

With gritted teeth he froze, his failure to respond resulting in his protection inching open behind him. "Tae?"

The sound of Jungkook's voice gave a comfort Taehyung didn't think it deserved to, he forced himself to remain guarded despite the negative emotions melting off of him.

"Jimin sent me... He didn't think you'd want to see him,"

Taehyung bit back a scoff. "I don't,"

He could hear a soft sigh and somehow it was worse than seeing it. He kept his back turned but as he heard slow footsteps and caught sight of Jungkook by his side he couldn't bring himself to turn.

"He's sorry,"

"No he isn't,"

Jungkook stood beside him with wide eyes, poised to speak. He had nothing to say, staring blankly towards Taehyung.

It was cute. How he scrambled to give advice with no knowledge on the situation, so out of his depth compared to back at his apartment where he could freely share his thoughts on just about anything. Jimin had that effect on people.

"He's not sorry," Taehyung continued, sitting on the edge of the bed. "He can't be because he has no idea what he did,"

Jungkook's brows pulled close and his lips were slightly parted.

Taehyung pursed his lips and elaborated with no reason. "It's a thing he does," It came out as another stupid whisper but he felt compelled to continue. "Tries to do the right thing whether you want it or not. No respect for privacy,"

Hesitantly Jungkook sat beside him. The desire to rest a passive hand on his thigh was a painful reminder he couldn't.

"You get used to it..." Taehyung pinched himself, unsure why he was still talking as if any of it mattered to Jungkook at all. "Stop telling him things, let him do what he wants when it doesn't matter... Made a mistake telling him about you, I'm rusty to his antics I guess,"

He chuckled humourlessly to break the silence that followed. "Doesn't matter anyway, not to you, you can go and we'll make up by the end of the day,"

He half expected Jungkook not to speak and just keep sitting there with a cute frustrated pout. He definitely didn't expect his response.

"I see what Yoongi means now,"

It took Jungkook's cheeky smile to restrain his flare of anger.

"You don't like him," Jungkook smiled, hands planted firmly on his thighs. "He told me,"

"Hardly a secret,"

"He doesn't like you,"

"Mutual,"

Jungkook sighed, seemingly disappointed with the response. "You didn't like me talking to him before," He stated plainly.

Taehyung huffed and threw himself back onto the bed, feet grazing the floor. May as well get comfortable if he wasn't going anywhere. "Didn't want you to hate me,"

"There's better ways to achieve that, aren't there?" Jungkook slowly lowered himself down, resting on his elbow.

He scoffed. "Enlighten me,"

Finally a little sparkle shone in Jungkook's eyes. The kind that appeared whenever Taehyung brought home his favourite microwave snacks or when he tied his hair back from his face- something Jungkook enjoyed a curious amount.

It took a second to remind himself that wasn't what was happening.

"Apologise,"

"What?"

"It would've been so sexy," Jungkook drawled.

Taehyung considered it. Going to Yoongi unprompted. He would give that look of defiant annoyance, mixed with a lingering curiosity and hope that he carried with him for so long. Or maybe it will have faded over the years, he could be less corny, jaded and impatient with the world after being shot down so many times. Shot down by people like Taehyung.

A wandering finger landed on his chest. "So you were going to try and hide the things you did? How you behaved?"

He shrugged. Jungkook made him sound cunning and manipulative. It didn't resonate with him at all. If anything it was a blind naivity, waiting anxiously for the inevitable. "Doesn't matter now," He dismissed.

"Doesn't it?"

"No?"

Another disappointed sigh. The touch on his chest burned.

He was so cryptic and confusing. And now disappointed like everyone else. "Why would it?" He asked eventually. "You know now and if you did or didn't you don't want me anyway,"

"So you're only nice if it means you get someone from it?" Jungkook asked, his voice painfully neutral and inquisitive.

Nice.

It wasn't a term he'd ever associated with. He knew nice people, as a child he overheard adults talking about the nice girls and boys. The ones who seemed to do no wrong. The children who weren't so impulsive or reckless as Taehyung, who thought before they acted and were believed without question.

"No. I couldn't be nice if I tried," He muttered absentmindedly.

It must not have been the answer Jungkook was expecting as he let out a soft noise and his brows scrunched while he thought up a response. "Have you? Tried I mean,"

Taehyung bit his tongue, a twinge of shame dwindled in his gut. Memories of failure and confusion lingered in his mind but he knew he'd long given up. He never tried hard enough, did he? Not like Jimin or Yoongi or even Jungkook who seemed so laid back in comparison. He didn't have to try, he just was.

A knock saved him from having to answer. "Are you decent?"

Taehyung chuckled. "Yep," If only.

Jimin poked his head through the door before anything else, carrying a nervous smile like a peace offering but Taehyung knew he just couldn't resist from keeping his nose out of it for so long.

So he didn't gratify him with a response, staring straight up at the ceiling while Jungkook jerked away him and twisted to face Jimin properly.

The silence was deafening until Jungkook cleared his throat. "Should I go?"

Curious, Taehyung turned to see Jimin's response who seemed ready to accept. For things to go back to normal. As long as Jungkook was here Taehyung would be petulant and immature about his intervention. Naturally, Jimin wanted him gone.

But as immature and petulant as predicted Taehyung butted in, amusement light and bubbly in his chest. "No," He dragged out the syllable, hardly containing a smile. "Jimin would never be so rude as to kick out a guest,"

Jungkook paused, tongue nudging the gleaming ring on his lip in thought. For the smallest fraction of a second Taehyung felt something strange and weighing inside of him. He put Jungkook in an uncomfortable situation. Jungkook put him in an uncomfortable situation first- he was quick to defend despite a lack of foundation. It wasn't nice of him. He wasn't nice.

"That's... I can stay, if it's not a problem. I know you're busy,"

"Never too busy for me though, hm? Right Jimin?" Taehyung added helpfully.

His smiles fake or real were so indistinguishable that even Taehyung struggled to tell them apart. He assumed it was fake as Jimin nodded. "Never,"

Before silence could settle over them again Taehyung hoisted himself up and headed to the door, placing a teasing little peck on Jimin's lips and he passed through to the kitchen. "What's for breakfast?"

He heard a little murmur about his change in mood as Jungkook followed through the door standing awkwardly by the breakfast bar until Taehyung nudged him into a seat.

"I want pancakes," Taehyung suggested, hearing Jimin sigh as he walked to the counter and pulled a jug from the cupboard. "Would you like some, Kook? He's a good at them,"

He looked over to Jimin for permission, not quite as comfortable and bold enough to hassle him as Taehyung would.

"You're having fruit with them," Jimin chided playfully, quickly falling into the change of tone. "Jungkook can have whatever he likes but I can't trust you not to live off ramen,"

"Biassed," Taehyung whined back, walking over to the fridge to check on his options while Jimin prepared the batter. It was almost surreal setting down the fruit of the counter.

How Jungkook sat there eyeing the fresh strawberries with contained interest, the faint tap of a whisk against a metal bowl behind him. Domestic and casual, pretending nothing had happened already. Everything shifted back to normal so quickly.

Jimin would make up for it with kisses and cuddles and freshly cooked food. It was a painfully familiar routine. One perfectly designed to make him forget about why he was annoyed, smother him with so much affection it would be cruel to throw it back in his face.

He took it upon himself to peel and slice a banana, his hands itching to be occupied and distract him from his thoughts. He didn't want to replay the events in his mind because he knew he would be dissatisfied; he always was.

One little thing stood out to him anyway. Shoving itself to the front of his thoughts as he impaled the last slither of banana and held the knife out to Jungkook's lips.

I see what Yoongi means

It made no sense at all.

Yoongi hated him and he had plenty of incriminating anecdotes to justify the fact. If he spoke to Jungkook he either held back to save Taehyung's image, highly unlikely, or Jungkook was dumb enough to ignore his warnings.

Cautiously Jungkook picked the fruit from the tip of the knife and popped it into his mouth with a satisfied hum.

He was hardly a risk taker.

The knife fell onto the chopping board with a clatter and he shifted to watch Jimin who'd already achieved a perfect circular pancake that sat warm on a fresh plate while he hurriedly prepared the next.

His eyes were narrowed in focus, tip of his tongue wet pressing on his lower lip.

Taehyung slunk back behind the bar and took a seat beside him, shuffling the chair to close the space while Jimin was distracted. "We can keep talking, he won't listen while he's cooking. Can't multi task for shit,"

Jungkook wet his lips and shook his hair out of his eyes. "Um... Yeah okay..." He whispered. "You never answered my question,"

He had to think for a moment to remember the question, too preoccupied with clearing his own confusions- what did Yoongi say? Why did he come here? What was he hoping to achieve? Maybe if he'd been more patient when he first left the bedroom he'd have the answers but it was far too late now.

"Have you tried to change?" Jungkook prompted, no longer maintaining eye contact in favour of pushing a loose ring up and down his finger.

He reached for a piece of banana and stuffed it into his mouth. Suddenly Jimin's method of communication felt far better. It occured to him he barely spoke to Jimin at all about such things, why would they? Jimin seemed to see straight through him anyway, there was no need for such talks.

Eventually he shrugged, slewing through the process of speaking as if it were something difficult, some invisible wall pressing down on him and telling him to keep his mouth shut. He'd never felt uncommunicative, he was far too open and honest, many people had told him so. Though Jungkook listened like he had no idea what he would say, no quiet assumptions or judgements just plain, gentle curiosity.

"I haven't tried at anything in a long time," He spoke in a sigh. "No point,"

Jungkook nodded slowly and Taehyung was quick to speak before he would have to cough up more personal information he would no doubt regret sharing. "What did Yoongi say?"

Now Jungkook shrugged. "It was a long conversation, why do you ask?"

He was caught out again. "Did he talk about uni?" He dodged the question, eyes fixed on Jimin's back to avoid the no doubt disappointed expression on his face.

"Yeah,"

"Well? What about it?"

He glanced over upon hearing a small huff. Jungkook was smiling.

"What?"

He chuckled. "Nothing, you're just cute. Yoongi just told me how you met, first impressions, how you were as a housemate, when you met Jimin. Does it bother you?"

"No, don't be stupid,"

Jimin turned and placed a plate down infront of them both, taking the discarded knife to cut some of the banana more evenly before sliding the chopping board closer. "I think it does," He added.

Stupid Jimin knowing how he was feeling.

"How long have you been listening?" He asked, refusing to confirm or deny his suspicion.

"Just the last part. Why are you lying? There's nothing wrong with being effected darling, it's natural to be upset when people spread bad things about you. And don't call people stupid, it's rude,"

A little shiver struck through him at the scolding. He didn't usually bother to correct his behaviour aside from the occasional muttering to himself when he became too disrespectful. Not unless he had reason to.

He remembered how when he first gained popularity and Jimin would parade him around at conventions, how Jimin would lean into his ear and whisper 'behave.' His breath rickled the shell of his ear and made him keen. Short and sweet and lethal if he didn't take the warning (he didn't).

He stabbed a pancake, hoping his face wasn't visibly heated.

"How's school?" Jimin asked, redirecting his attention to Jungkook who happily layered the available fruit over his food.

"Quiet at the moment, there'll be more work as exams get closer though. Could get ahead but it's nice to relax,"

Jimin hummed approvingly and rinsed some berries for them both. "Yes, don't stress yourself too much, balance is important,"

"Don't be like Yoongi," Taehyung grunted beneath his breath, grimacing as a berry was placed in the center of his plate.

Surprisingly Jungkook chuckled. "Yeah he's pretty worried, gets angry when I nap all day, says I should be studying,"

"Balance," Jimin reminded, giving Taehyung a nudge when he was ready to start agreeing with Jungkook's choices. "Taehyung tells me you swim,"

He glanced between them both before nodding. "Yeah, I'm not the best in the team or anything but I'm pretty good,"

"Maybe Taehyung could come and see you some time," Jimin suggested, adding a small "Me too," When Taehyung shot him a pointed stare and a raised brow.

"Um, yeah... You could. There's a meet in a few weeks,"

How had it not been an hour and Jimin was already meddling?

A short shared look with Jungkook told him that the irony hadn't gone unnoticed. His point was proven; Jimin wasn't sorry- he was clueless.

It was weirdly cathartic to share his frustration, even silently. A quiet acknowledgement that it wasn't in his head.

But equally it was pointless. Obediently he parted his lips and allowed Jimin to feed him a berry, determined as ever to keep him healthy. The soft pad of his thumb dug into his lower lip a moment too long, saliva slipping into the corners of his lips.

He gulped when Jimin took a step back and returned to cleaning.

Did it matter?

Hadn't he returned with the full understanding nothing had changed?

Briefly he wondered what Jungkook or Yoongi would have done in his situation, what thoughts may have sprung into their minds to remedy the situation so flawlessly.

The weight of Jungkook's stare beside him was uncomfortable. This wasn't right. It was different and weird. Simple gestures of cooking and dragged out touches that made him keen were put on hold or reduced. He couldn't simply let his frustrations wash away with a crude sheen of sweat and slap of skin. No grumbled complaints and bitter promises to improve between gasps and groans. There was hardly anything perverse at all.

His head spun with the contrast, lost in the uncanny valley of their relationship. Strange soft ground that had never been trodden on before.

For better or for worse sat beside him Jungkook stopped their usual dance in its tracks. His leg bounced against the hard wood of the stool, releasing some of his tension. If he and Jimin weren't going to fuck it out what would they do? Was he really ready to go back to this? Why the fuck couldn't Jungkook be more predictable?

"I'm going home,"

"What?" Jimin called after him but he was already patting down his pockets to check his belongings were safely tucked away and heading to the door.

"I'll message, maybe," He muttered, half out the door.

He was down the street before he felt able to breathe again. A fresh flush of air that cleared out his foggy mind. He staggered over to a bench on the road, feeling the damp old slats bend beneath his weight.

It was slightly chilly out, the bitter winter air still lingering despite the sun having risen well into the sky. Jimin must have spoken to Jungkook as soon as he'd woken up, convinced him to come over with his stupid charm.

He wasn't ready to see him yet, he decided as a car rushed past and a puddle splattered onto his shoes. Pretty Jungkook with his muscles and tattoos and normality. He wasn't ready to lose him and he never had him in the first place.

The inevitability of it all was almost funny.

Yoongi and Hoseok having gone out of their way to warn of the mutual friend who would be rude and harsh. As if Jungkook needed their protection.

There was no one to fall back on when Jungkook left him. No one but Jimin. Maybe that was Jimin's appeal. He saw through his stupidity and recklessness and tried to pull the best out of him with tender encouragement and enthusiasm. Taehyung wishes it could have worked.

But change was a near impossible feat. For every attempt to be better he would slip back and no one had any patience left to spare him. It was so much easier not to care, to free himself from the everlasting guilt and repercussions and loomed over him, waiting.

They aren't going anywhere either way, he may as well be blissfully ignorant.

Another car zoomed passed and he let the noise muffle the loud frustrated groan that rumbled from his chest, quick to glare at a passerby who watched with furrowed brows.

The weight of his actions crushed down on him, gentle and smothering like Jimin's love. It seeped into his bones and left him numb and pliant. He wanted it gone. He didn't want to think about it anymore. He needed to go out and fuck someone and drink and maybe break something- that would get his adrenaline rushing. Would set everything back to normal.

Had Jungkook caused this? Taehyung couldn't be angry with him anyway. He could do so much better than Taehyung it was pitiful the man even gave him a fraction of his time. No wonder that he left.

Taehyung leaned forward to support his weight on his thighs, elbows digging uncomfortable into the muscle as he stared down at his tatty damp shoes.

There was a another niggling feeling. Taehyung was so sick of them.

It grew and demanded attention until he snapped and threw his weight back against the bench.

Because he knew deep down that wasn't why Jungkook left him. For whatever reason Jungkook didn't think poorly of him.

He couldn't even bring himself to get angry with Yoongi, that's how he knew something was definitely wrong with him. It took nothing to get angry at Yoongi. The smaller man merely needed to look at him with his painfully impassive resting expression for his patience to be wearing thin.

This wasn't Yoongis fault. He wished it was, that would be so much easier.

Apologise. Jungkook had said. Honest and vulnerable and the only way to not be hated. As if it were so simple.

His phone buzzed angrily in his pocket but he ignored it, opting instead to scuff his toes into the pavement, dislodging clumps of moss that grew in the crevices of the damp stone.

He didn't have to check to know it was Jimin. He reached into his pocket and switched it off.

He needed a breather from all of them.

For days the nagging feeling picked away at him. His temper was worse than usual- impressive. Yet each time he took out his frustrations he was brutally reminded of Jungkook's soft voice. Have you tried?

He doubled down, grumbling under his breath and doing the bare minimum at work until he could go home and sleep or play games until he passed out.

Of course Jimin called endlessly. There was barely a twisted satisfaction as he let it ring out or peace when he finally silenced his phone. It didn't make sense, he didn't want to talk to him.

But with this feeling dragging him further and further down he sent a little message. 'Sorry. Just give me a couple days'.

He shut it off again before he could see a response.

That night he slept just a little better. His stomach rumbled for better food and he was still overly attentive to the mess surrounding him but it was manageable.

He had a glimmer of hope that everything would go back to normal.

And as normal he showered and pulled on his work clothes, heading out just a little late after downing a second cup of coffee that would keep him going throughout the day.

As he moved throughout the day his thoughts were foggy and distant, the world around him was just a step too far away to reach.

Hankering down in the stock room by his usual hiding place he let out a long sigh, ruffling up his hair and dipping his head down to rest his tense neck. The cold metal bar of the shelving unit dug into his shoulder and pushed him against the chipping wall uncomfortably, no one suspected anyone to be squished back there, it was perfect. He wasn't sure how long he stayed there, his muscles ached from the awkward position, straining to keep him up despite his best efforts to relax. He wasn't ready to get back out there yet.

Some of these reactions were distantly familiar. Two years ago when he'd first gotten this job, his manager taking a wild chance on the lost man who pleaded for anything that could pay the rent.

Half way through his first shift he'd found this spot and sat for nearly an hour, willing himself to fall asleep, to dodge the flood of responsibilities and find a refuge from his aching chest.

He didn't have excuses like that anymore, nothing had happened to him, he only hurt the people dumb enough to care about him. Even then, he thought, his destruction had been self imposed.

"Taehyung?" A voice called, heavy with annoyance.

"Here,"

"I know you're here Taehyung what I don't know is why the fuck you think it's okay to keep sneaking off," The voice grew quieter and louder as his manager walked around the room, searching. He poked his head around the unit Taehyung was crouched behind. "When I've given you so many warnings. You're really testing my patience,"

Taehyung slowly nodded, not having a rebuttal.

The scowl on his managers face faded. "Well?"

He shrugged. "Sorry,"

"Are you okay?"

Taehyung let his eyes wander from his feet up to his eyes before snapping them away and standing. "I'm fine just- just fuck off,"

He rushed off without looking back, thankful that the shop floor had quietened down since he ran off.

Jin wouldn't follow him, he was sure. He was working and that's all he could ask.

Over the next hours he only bumped into him a couple of times. Jin gave him a concerned look before he twisted on the spot and rushed off in another direction.

He wanted his shift to end but he didn't want to go home.

He didn't want to wade through life how he had when he ended things with Jimin and he didn't want to admit defeat to his pathetic mood by going home and sleeping through another day. But he didn't want to talk to anyone either.

Through the rest of the day slewing through mindless tasks he had plenty of time to think, especially as he expertly dodged all major responsibilities on the job.

He thought so hard his brain hurt.

It sucked. But not as much as his conclusion.

He needed to apologise to Yoongi.

Would anyone be interested in a webcomic of this fic??

I really don't have the time but making one is so tempting 😭 I drew a couple panels as a prequel sort of thing which was pretty fun but ofc not professional quality or anything!

Would look something like this- I mostly do traditional art so it might be a fun challenge haha

Also ty to for bts-ff-archive helping me come up with the ending for this chapter!