Taehyung's journey began with the heavy thump of a car boot and the dry scrape of gravel. It was a day he'd been waiting for a long time but now it arrived, it was painfully mundane as any other. Every minute dragged along typically, repressed by the tedious details of his daily life that he'd been so eager to shed.

He needed this change desperately. The comforts of home taunted him from the monotonous ring of his alarm that he ignored four times over until his father's call dragged him from bed on the fateful morning. He could change his alarm; tomorrow morning in a new building with new bedsheets and a new alarm things would be different. He could finally be himself.

The cold wind was brash against his cheek and distracted him from his daze. While he gripped onto the jagged plastic of his old suitcase handle he could he the jarring echo of laughter that seemed to float along the breeze. Excited squeals and cries that were grating to his ears but he could hardly notice them when two familiar pairs of arms attached themselves to his own torso.

Momentarily he felt a semblance of guilt and wondered if he'd one day regret how he squirmed out of their reach and stubbornly insisted he could carry his many bags up by himself.

It didn't take long to drag his belongings up to his dorm, the tacky laminate tile of the cheap building providing a much kinder surface as he slid excess items along with his feet. The colourful collection of loose bags and a tatty old suitcase his parents were happy to part with were soon piled up outside the door- only just carefully balanced so the pile wouldn't topple over and spill his junk throughout the narrow corridor.

He'd only just begun rummaging through his pockets for the key when someone beat him to it. A man slid in beside him and pressed the key beneath the handle. It swung open with a faint clunk to reveal the inside to him for the first time; the place he'd possibly spend the next three years of his life.

"Need a hand?" The person offered. His hair was jet black and straight, cut somewhat messily in a way that framed his narrow, catlike eyes.

"No," He answered without thought but as the pile beside him began to wobble it was easy to glare at the man's back as he walked into the flat and sat himself on the sofa. He noticed a thin plastic bag that he dropped on the coffee table beside an open laptop he'd clearly trusted his flatmates enough to leave alone.

Or maybe the others hadn't arrived yet, there was no way he would have left it alone, unlocked in an open space otherwise, was there?

After a few minutes he'd moved everything inside and slammed the door shut.

His roommate didn't spare him a glance, the rhythmic tapping of a keyboard already persistent and irritating after such a short time in the flat.

It was a relief to lay back on his bed, even though the mattress was uncomfortably firm the knowledge it was his set his mind at ease. He laid there for some amount of time until a full ache formed in his lower back when he rolled off and began attacking his bags. The space was limited, as he'd expected but not packed for and while his roommate had been kind enough to delegate just half to himself, maybe even a little less, Taehyung struggled not to encroach.

By the end of this last couple of bags he'd hastily kicked the items beneath the bed where they barely fit and would no doubt be a struggle to retrieve. It made the room look tidy enough.

Through the walls he noticed the faint tapping of keys still echoing through the empty space. It was subtle, so subtle he wouldn't be able to hear without trying but audible nonetheless.

The paper thin walls did little to baraccade sounds so it was easy to here the slam of a door, a loud cheer and the distinctive thump of cans and bottles on a counter.

"Yoongi!" An unknown voice called. No response. Taehyung briefly wondered whether he'd shifted from his spot in the center of the flat, but he would have had to leave entirely not to hear the yell. Taehyung would have heard him leave.

"Yoongi..." The voice repeated quieter, an amused hum in the wavering of his tone.

Silence.

He listened close but there was nothing. Curiosity nipped at him, he didn't want to be social but he would have to meet these guys eventually would he not?

With that in mind he inched open his door and peered through the gap.

He saw the first man- Yoongi, faced away from him staring into his laptop, fingers frozen across the keyboard. Two figures sat hunched either side of him, leaning into his space.

They sat there, poised and waiting, the girl began rhythmically tapping his side until Yoongi squirmed away with a groan. "What?"

"We're going for drinks, getting to know eachother, you in?"

"You two already seem pretty comfortable,"

Taehyung slowly pressed the door closed. They didn't know he was here, he could easily get out of it.

But alas, the door betrayed him with a loud creak announcing his presence.

"You didn't tell us the other guy arrived!" The girl let out, Taehyung could practically see her shoving Yoongi's shoulder through the wall.

Moments later there was a cautious knock on the door. Taehyung bit back a groan and opened it to reveal the man who gave a gentle smile. "Hey, I'm Namjoon your flatmate- do you want to go for drinks with us? We're all going,"

He sighed lowly and Namjoon gave a dimpled smile. "The pub is close, if you don't like it you can come back and drink alone, we just stocked the fridge,"

Begrudgingly Taehyung agreed. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad to meet the people he'd be spending the year with. He'd probably head out to the pub in an hour or so anyway so seeing them would be unavoidable.

They didn't bother him until it was time to leave and it seemed as though they'd convinced Yoongi to tag along too as he hastily finished a few sentences on his laptop before shutting it off.

As promised the pub was close. It was loud with chatter and busy full of students like himself.

They found a table with little effort, stealing chairs from their surroundings to seat everyone. It wasn't too bad, just five of them, one unfamiliar face who quickly introduced himself as Jin. Apparently there was only one person yet to arrive, making Taehyung nearly last.

He spaced out while they promised to show him the ropes, instead downing his drink that sat bitter on his tongue.

None of the people around him struck him as genuine, Yoongi maybe. They were all putting on a cheery kind front that would probably fade over the first few weeks of their education, too tiring to bother keeping up good impressions and needless enthusiasm. Taehyung didn't see the point of it all.

For a second he admired Yoongi, he was quiet and mildly irritating but at least not overbearing and most likely honest.

If he were forced to make friends with any of them he would probably be the least cumbersome.

He rushed to the bar for a refill and returned quickly, loosely following the conversation while a light carefree buzz crept up on him to free him from the pain of socialising.

Everyone had started to relax by the third round of drinks, Taehyung's fourth, those careful masks slipping under the guise of alcohol with mocking laughter and jests vaguely directed at those in the vicinity. Gossip about old classmates, rumours about new lecturers, whiny complaints about issues with accomodation that had already sprung up within their first few days of settling in.

For some reason they seemed to like Taehyung's company. It could have been his own snide comments or amused huffs spurring them on in their stories, they weren't the worst the hang out with when the hum of their surroundings was softened by liquor.

And as Taehyung gulped down the rest of his glass chuckles seemed to erupt from his chest a little too easily. He felt his cheeks strain under a stupid smile, ignoring the faint press of his bladder as he listened to his female flat mates tale- a run in with their neighboring flat that she deemed worthy of comments.

In the corner of his eye he saw Yoongi get up and leave, half a beer sat alone on the table and his coat draped over the back of the chair.

His flatmate paused, watching his figure wander across the building to the toilets. When the door swung shut she scoffed. "What do we think of him?"

Namjoon shrugged, a lazy smile lingering on his lips. "He's alright,"

Jin rolled his eyes. "Seriously? He's so damn uptight. Like if you don't wanna come don't come, fuck me,"

Another chuckle Taehyung could hardly feel as he shook his head. "Who even gives a shit,"

"Probably a fucking lightweight," Someone added, he didn't bother looking up to see who.

He swirled his empty glass, seeing a bead of liquid cling to the edge. After his second drink he'd swapped to something stronger but Yoongi seemed to stick with the disgusting beer they'd all started on.

"Nah probably cos that beer tastes like piss," He muttered.

Snickers of approvement rung in his ears, an encouraging pat on the back. "Do it,"

Maybe they misheard him, maybe they didn't. Either way Taehyung understood fully well what they were getting at.

He glanced back to the toilets door, no movement.

The itching pressure on his bladder had intensified and his body swayed uselessly.

He was egged on by the raucous laughter around him as he unzipped his trousers and dragged the glass across the table towards him.

It was a memory he hadn't thought of in years.

Not until Jungkook. Jungkook wouldn't have found it funny.

And looking back, he's not sure most of his flatmates did either. Beneath the shocked laughter of one or two ruthlessly encouraging his behaviour in the corner of his memory he saw looks of disgust and horror, cowering back in their seats as if to evade responsibility for the scene.

Now he stood face to face with Yoongi. Unlike their first meeting he stood with his arms crossed, barricading the doorway. "What do you want Taehyung?" He spat his name in a way so familiar Taehyung had to remind himself any time had passed at all.

He wet his lips and shifted his weight uncomfortably. "Um..." He forced himself to hold eyecontact. "I'm sorry..."

Yoongi wasn't suprised like he expected him to be, barely quirking a brow as he hummed. "Yeah?"

He nodded, slightly more confident. Apologising was simple he just needed to- "I'm sorry for pissing in your beer and breaking your laptop and ripping for jacket and-"

"I don't need a list you'll be here all day,"

He pursed his lips and nodded again. "Okay. I'm sorry. I didn't care that I was being shitty, I still don't really but... Yeah, I guess I do,"

"Is that all?"

Taehyung gulped. He didn't expect Yoongi to hear him out, it was impressive he didn't just slam the door in his face. But he had hoped he'd have some direction on what to do next. The alternative of going back to wallow in his apartment for however many weeks wasn't appealing in the slightest and he had a feeling this ethical itch wasn't going to budge soon, if ever.

He gave another meek nod.

"Jungkook isn't going to fuck you because you did this, I hope you know that. He's being dumb but not that dumb,"

"I know," Taehyung scoffed. "You think I'm so desperate to fuck him I'd come crawling back to you of all people?"

"Great apology,"

Irritation rose through him before he could help himself. "Oh cut the crap- What do you want?'

Yoongi's brows twitched upwards in amusement. "What I really want is for you to stop fucking my friend and getting him involved in your shit but for some unknown reason he likes it so I'll settle for never seeing you again, second best,"

Taehyung huffed. "What do I have to do for you to forgive me," He gnawed on his lower lip as he watched Yoongi closely. This wasn't going in his favour and he wasn't hopeful he'd get any guidance at all, nothing to rid the tug of guilt in his chest or bring any sense of relief to his life.

Yoongi's tongue peeked through his lips, head tipping back in thought. "Why do you want me to forgive you? Why do you care?"

"I feel bad,"

"Ah so now you have a conscience do you?"

The following eyeroll was so natural he hadn't thought to fight it until he'd gripped onto the doorframe, looming stubbornly over Yoongi who remained unimpressed. "You make me sound like a monster; I'm not heartless,"

"Really? I'm so sorry for upsetting you," He muttered flatly, sarcasm dripping from each unimpressed syllable.

"Do you really have to make this so hard for me?"

"Oh? Am I making your life difficult? Of all people surely you don't deserve that, hm?"

Taehyung resisted the urge to squirm at the irony. "I said I'm sorry,"

"And I said I never want to see you again,"

"Just this once. Help me and I'll never bother you again, promise. What do you want? I can buy you whatever you want- I mean I'm broke but we'll figure something out," He pleaded, seconds from dropping to his knees and offering up something more crude.

A flash of empathy wormed it's way onto his face. For a second Taehyung felt gross. Taking advantage of Yoongi yet again after so many years, of his kindness and pity. He'd already given him more chances than he deserved.

"You're pathetic,"

His stare was icy and pointed, the way his fingers hooked over the door handle forced Taehyung to prepare for the door to swing shut in his face. Cautiously he edged his fingers out of the way of the frame. He braced himself, eyes squinted nearly shut.

"I can't believe I'm letting you in my house," Taehyung inched his eyes open to see the door pushed back, Yoongi pressed against the wall to make room for him. "Stop gawking before I change my mind,"

He nodded obediently and shuffled inside.

The door shut behind him with a thump, leaving him enclosed in the narrow corridor. The paint was a tacky thin white with drips dried onto the walls. Large posters covered a decent portion but he couldn't recognise anything in them and was quickly ushered along by Yoongi's stare before he could look more closely.

Aside from being low budget it wasn't much more than Taehyung would have expected from Yoongi, a mess of papers and stationary but otherwise fairly plain and minimalist. A small livingroom with three more doors leading off of it. Outside of one he saw a pile of clothes that looked fairly rummaged through, one shirt stood out to him, a faded graphic tee that Jungkook loved wrinkled and sprawled over the pile to be reworn. The door was slightly ajar.

"He's not home," Yoongi let out with a sigh as he sunk onto the low sofa, situated across from his laptop that had switched to standby.

"Oh yeah right, obviously,"

He struggled to tear his eyes away from the door. Seeing Jungkook's home like this was strange, so raw and soft. He could almost feel his presence in the clutter, where Jungkook no doubt felt most comfortable. It felt so nice when Jungkook relaxed around him he was almost jealous Yoongi got to experience it so carelessly.

"Why do you like him?"

The question dragged his attention back to the moment.

"Huh?"

"Jungkook. Why?"

"Why not?"

Yoongi released a slow controlled sigh. "I don't know many people who do the shit you're into, not anyone who's put so much time into it. Just you, Jimin. Hoseok was insistent Jungkook would be better off with you than him. I barely even fought it because I know you're too lazy to agree to help someone without a motive. So why? What are you up to?"

He wanted to fight the accusation but remembered his initial response to the request when Hoseok had called him so hopefully. "I... I was bored," He answered honestly, hesitantly taking a seat beside him.

A scoff of disbelief.

"What? I'm being honest. I- I agreed because I wanted a quick fuck and then I saw him and he was so hot. He was nice to have around, felt right with him, could relax so easily,"

"And then what?"

Taehyung's head hurt. "Fucked it up; I don't know,"

"So much for being honest,"

He frowned and slumped back on the sofa, a retort was on the tip of his tongue, he didn't come here to be interrogated. That attitude would get him kicked out fast. "He thought we should date or didn't want me to date Jimin, something like that,"

"So messy. I wish he would leave already," Yoongi uttered in a low sigh, unfocused eyes drifting across the back wall.

The suggestion made him bristle but he contained his annoyance with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah well he did so lucky you,"

For some reason Yoongi's hum wasn't pleased. Taehyung wanted to scoff. Of course he knew Jungkook could do better, if he was a better person perhaps he would be grateful for the limited time he was endowed with. But he wasn't. The thought of Jungkook meeting someone new, offering up those most vulnerable moments and desires with someone else, made his chest ache. At some point he must have gotten over sharing him with Jimin because this was far worse.

"He thinks he did, sure. But he's still talking to you isn't he? Idiot," The sofa creaked as he leaned forward, bony fingers prodding his temples.

"I am sorry," Taehyung reminded swaying ever so slightly as too much oxygen seemed to rush to his head.

"Yeah whatever,"

"I mean it,"

"Mhm,"

"You don't believe me," He huffed.

"No, what gave it away?" Yoongi finally twisted to look up at him, the slight pout to his lips betraying his stern expression.

"I don't understand," Taehyung whispered tiredly.

"You aren't entitled to forgiveness Taehyung. I'm glad you're finally feeling some semblance of guilt but live with it for a bit, yeah? You'll be fine, knowing you you'll forget in a couple weeks anyway. If you don't and you actually wanna be better then you'll manage just like the rest of us people with basic morals,"

Part of him was desperate to complain and leave but he slumped back further, limbs weighted with dread. "I just... I don't know what to do. Everything is shit,"

"And who's fault is that?"

He nodded slowly.

"Okay you're creeping me out. What did Kook do to you?"

What did Jungkook do to him? Why the fuck was he here? After so long of so many people begging him to find his potential and be better how had Jungkook managed to shove him into a life of regret and wallowing?

Of all the attempts that had been made, apathetic encouragement with that concerned look that made his skin crawl in disgust; or on the other side of the extreme, scolding and punishment in the hope something would deter him from his laziness to finally reach his potential. Jungkook had been nothing like either of those, he hardly seemed to care about Taehyung changing at all. His gentle intrigue lodged itself under his skin and for the first time Taehyung wasn't warding off stupid questions he couldn't answer, he was asking them himself.

"Seriously, are you actually thinking right? I literally don't think I've ever seen this before,"

"Oh shut up," Taehyung pouted. "He just made me think that maybe I don't have to live how I do, things could be different..."

Yoongi's slim hands cradled his jaw. "Okay... So what have you done so far? Since you thought that?"

Another thought that had never crossed his mind. He strained to think and drew a blank. He hadn't really done anything, unless running from it counted. Literally, running. "I came here, stopped talking to them, needed some space,"

He realised the scoff Yoongi let out in response to his behaviour was deserved. Subsequently it occured to him that the majority of the scoffs that had been directed towards him were probably deserved.

"I know," Taehyung cut him off before he could speak. "But I don't know what to do. Want things to go back to normal, this shit is giving me a headache,"

"You want my advice?"

Taehyung gritted his teeth. "Yes."

Despite his promising words he carelessly picked up his phone, scrilling and tapping like Taehyung wasn't there. "Go back, apologise, do better," He uttered.

The thought wrenched something in his gut and he stirred uncomfortably. "I don't want to, it feels bad,"

"Don't want to what?"

"See them. I'm dreading it I don't know what I'll say, what if everything goes back to how it was before?"

"I thought you said that's what you wanted,"

Taehyung didn't have a second to process before a horrifyingly familiar sound rattled through the apartment.

He didn't have to live there to know the jingle of keys in a lock and the creak of a door only meant one thing.

"Yoongi? I'm home, got your message,"

Taehyung swiveled to Yoongi with wide eyes but he smirked and rolled his head back. "I'm gonna get a drink. Be better for him or fuck it up enough to bring him to his senses for me, yeah?"

He disappeared into his room in an instant; Taehyung just about saw the jostling of his shoulders as he snickered to himself before the door shut behind him.

"Taehyung?"

Disquieted, he turned around, eeking it out as slow as possible just incase something would happen to spare him from his circumstance.

Jungkook stood with his hands deep in his pockets, hair slightly damp and mussed.

Taehyung itched to run his hands through it and pull him close, feel him squirm and whine under a cruel grip. Sex was so much easier than this shit.

"What are you doing here? Yoongi let you in?" He asked softly, approaching him with caution.

"He did," Taehyung answered the easier of the questions.

Jungkook sat down beside him. "I wasn't expecting you,"

"Me neither," He gritted, mostly to himself. His skin tingled apprehensively at the closeness and he squeezed his eyes shut in embarrassment at the way his breath caught in his throat.

"You don't have to tell me but uh, you are in my house so,"

Taehyung chuckled breathlessly. "Yeah, I am, trippy,"

He expected himself to flinch in response to touch but when a hand pressed onto his shoulder his muscles dissolved into the pressure. "Jimin wasn't worried about you,"

"Yeah?"

Jungkook hummed. "I thought you might be concerned about it. He was disappointed but said it's expected, that you isolate yourself when you're upset,"

The sinking feeling came back; he hadn't even realised it had left.

Jimin probably knew him better than anyone else in the world. And even he had come to expect that familiar wave of disappointment. There was a time when everything they did was fresh and invigorating, spoon fed into little chunks that soothed Taehyung's otherwise nihilistic thoughts.

Just how Jungkook was with him now, every time he had the privilege of seeing him again the world felt new and interesting, tearing apart the mundanity and introducing some much needed bliss.

But now with Jimin it was no different than anyone else, sheltered and hidden he tried to farm the sense of satisfaction he once felt from their time together to no avail. All too aware it was moments from falling apart and collapsing again with a new rush of shame that made everyone who cared about him a little more resentful and impatient.

How long would it take for Jungkook to feel the same way? Until he listened to sound advice?

Jungkook must have mistaken his silence for him contemplating Jimin's reaction, oblivious to just how well they could predict eachothers behaviour as he elaborated. "Said you'd come back at some point and pretend nothing happened... I'm not sure if he wants to um," He trailed off into an anxious mumble. "I didn't expect to see you, not here at least,"

Taehyung hid his hands between his thighs where he clenched his fists. "Really? It was your idea,"

His face contorted in confusion. "Huh? Wait, did you come to see Yoongi?"

"I forgot you lived together," He admitted quietly.

Somehow Jungkook looked disappointed. He repressed the urge to soothe him with a hug, knowing his affections are unwelcome.

"Well um... I'll be in my room if you need me then,"

Jungkook made a move to get up and Taehyung grabbed his wrist on instinct. "No, stay. Yoongi sucks- I mean, I'd rather see you,"

He sighed apprehensively, wriggling under his stare. "I don't know if that's a good idea,"

"But I... I came, you said it would be hot," He pleaded quietly.

Jungkook bit back a laugh. "You're hot enough already Tae, you're just not very mature... Not that I am either but you're... Worse,"

"I can do better," Taehyung whispered. "I can do better without you," He promised. "But it'll be more fun to do it with you,"

"Sweet talking me now," Jungkook mumbled, a faint rosiness to his cheeks.

"No, I mean it I swear. I have no idea what I'm doing but I'm tired of this. I've lost every good thing that's ever come into my life and I didn't think I cared but I do,"

"I... I've missed you Taehyung. But not much has really changed, has it? You should be speaking to Jimin, not me, he's the one you're in a relationship with. He's the one you have to win over,"

Taehyung gulped. Now that could never be an easy task. Or maybe it was simultaneously the easiest and most difficult. He was Jimin's soft spot afterall. He'd so shamelessly showed himself countless times after arguments with hardly a care so why now did it feel so hard?

He could push aside that Jungkook was no more his than two weeks prior but Jimin was even more more complicated. He'd been clear. Leave again and you don't come back.

"I don't know what to do," He repeated for what felt like the hundredth time.

Jungkook carefully pried his wrist free. "He's busy right now, maybe leave it a little longer. If you mean it then a few more weeks won't matter will it?"

If anyone else had said it to him me probably would have screamed but the sincerity in his eyes forced him to stay contained. "No," He grumbled. "If I wait for him not to be busy I'll he coming to apologise to him in a damn carehome,"

Jungkook snickered and smacked his shoulder. "Comparatively! Of course he works hard but he's so amped up since you left, I barely see him,"

Where Taehyung once would have snickered at the irony of Jimin busying himself in his absence, he felt guilt. That was of course before he finished processing the sentence. "You still see him?" He changed the topic without a thought, not catching the words until they'd already escaped his lips.

His cheeks flushed a pretty shade of pink and he snagged the ring on his lip between his teeth, stalling. "Um... Yeah, I do," He said, thumb and forefinger easily finding their place twirling the rings on the opposing hand.

"Tell me more," Taehyung couldn't help but tease.

Jungkook shook his head feverently. "I just uh, he was sad so I didn't wanna leave him alone,"

"Jimin is allowed to fuck other people, I'm not mad," Taehyung chuckled, watching how he deflated with relief.

"Maybe you should be mad. I would be mad. Why aren't you mad?"

"You want me to be mad?"

"No of course not but..." He trailed off, eyebrows furrowed as though his thoughts took conscious effort. "I don't understand your relationship, it's weird,"

"It's just what worked for us,"

"Did it work?" Jungkook answered before quickly adding a mumbled apology.

Taehyung sucked in a breath through his teeth. "You have a point. I don't think normal suits us though... It didn't then at least, there were uh, factors,"

"His films?"

He hummed. "Emotions are more important to him than labels. We already agreed we'd fuck you so it doesn't matter, it's not a betrayal really, not from his side,"

"Yeah, that's what he said. Jimin's less crude about it though," Jungkook scolded with a bashful smile, hands making their way back into his pockets.

Taehyung's pondered on it for a moment. "I'm not good at sugarcoating things... I don't mean anything bad, Jimin is nice he just doesn't know you, you know? Not that I know you crazy well... But I want to at least,"

Jungkook's expression twisted from shock from the attempt to comfort him to bemusement that left Taehyung on edge. "He doesn't want to know me?"

He shook his head, confident.

"Maybe you should let him know that about himself when you go to see him,"

"Huh?"

Jungkook patted his shoulder. "I'm gonna go talk to Yoongi. I'll see you soon?"

Ahh I'm sorry for the wait 😭 exam prep has been busy...
I'll try to get the next part up faster. Tysm to people still reading! I hope you're enjoying it