"Ma, I-" I struggle to speak through the sobs that escaped my lips as I remained wrapped in my moms arms.

"It's okay honey, you don't have to talk. Why don't we go inside, I'll make you your favorite hot chocolate and we can talk if you want to." I stand still for a while, trying to calm myself down before nodding softly and making my way further inside the house.

"I- I'm going u-up stairs ." My mom nods and flashes me a small smile trying to hide the worry that was  evident on her face as I manage to splutter out the sentence.

I slowly make my way upstairs, holding onto the railing before walking into my bedroom. As I look around, I notice that everything was exactly the same the way I left it, allowing me to appreciate the familiarity.

The tears still haven't stopped running down my cheeks, making me feel even more drained than before.

I slowly slip off my shoes, not having the energy to even change into anything else before climbing onto my bed and laying my head down.

I grab one of my other cushions, holding it tightly against me, mimicking the idea of having someone so close to me. Having him so close to me.

My eyes start to feel heavier as my breathing evens out a bit more. I relish in the warmth of the pillow against my body as I hug it even closer to me.

I feel a sudden calmness rush over my body as I let my body surrender to the sleep it so desperately craves. 

At the sound of my phone ringing I tried to move but it was as if my body suddenly felt too heavy lift my arm just to reach and answer it.

I sigh softly, knowing it was Alex by the sound of the specific ringtone but as much as I wanted to answer, I couldn't.

I let sleep take over completely, finally blocking out everything around me momentarily.

> > > > >

Alex Mercer

"She isn't picking up the phone Willie." My fingers tap involuntarily on my leg as Tanna's voicemail sounds through the phone again.

"Hey man, don't worry, I'm sure she's okay." I sigh softly, closing my eyes trying to get rid of the anxious thoughts in my head as Willie places his hand on top of mine and squeezes it gently.

"What if she's not? She always answers. I shouldn't have let her fly back to London alone, especially not with what she's been through."

"Okay maybe," he says, shifting his body to face me more until his eyes meet mine. "maybe she's asleep?"

I keep my eyes locked with his, letting his words register in my head before nodding slowly.

"Yeah, you're probably right." I let out a breath, feeling myself calm down a bit more. "I'm just gonna call one more time. Incase."

Willie just nods his head, flashing me a reassuring smile before moving back to lean against the headboard of my bed with my hand still in his.

I'm about to take the phone away from my ear after the fifth ring when finally the other end of the phone is picked up, making my ears perk up at the sound.

"Tan?"

"Alex honey, it's Kate. Sorry it took so long to answer, was just bringing Tan hot chocolate but she seems to have fallen asleep." I can't help but sigh in relief as I hear Tanna's mom speak through the phone.

"Hey Kate, just wanted to check if she was okay. She never called once she landed."

I hear her mutter just to give her a second before the sound of a door closing travels across the line.

"I don't want you to worry honey, but she seems extremely upset. She was okay at the airport, but as soon as she stepped inside the house, she just started crying. Did something happen?"

"I- quite a lot has happened over the last month or two." I say quietly, my heart tightening at the image of her breaking down again. "I just, I know Tan. She'd rather tell you herself."

"I figured." Kate hums quietly, knowing that's exactly what I'd say. "I'll tell her to call you when she's up."

"Thank you, I miss you guys!"

"We miss you too honey, are we still seeing you in two weeks?"

"I'm not so sure anymore, but I'll make sure Tan keeps you updated."

"Oh, well I do hope that you'll visit soon as well and that whatever's happening will be alright."

"I hope so too." I sigh softly, saying goodbye before ending the phone call and placing the phone onto the pedestal next to my bed.

"She's hurting so much Willie. I wish I could have helped her mo-"

"Al, you've been there for her and haven't left her side. You're doing the most you can, don't be so hard on yourself." My eyes don't leave his as I listen to every word he says, nodding my head slowly.

Moving forward slightly, I wrap my arms around his neck, holding him tightly against me as he rubs my back soothingly.

"Thank you for being here with me. I'm sorry I'm such an anxious mess."

"Of course man," He says chuckling softly, "its a package deal."

Willie's phone rings, making me move back as he makes his way off the bed. I take the chance to look through my social media notifications from today while Willie stands against the door frame on the phone.

I smile softly seeing a Snapchat notification from Tanna, noticing she sent it mid flight while I was asleep.

My eyes widen as I click on her Snapchat opening it, noticing the familiar face pop up on the screen.
My eyes travel down to read the caption, only confirming my assumption of who was with her.

Al, you won't believe it! Out of everyone on the flight, I landed up next to Jess. Small world right?

"No ways." I whisper to myself, feeling the bed dip again besides me. "How is he always there when I'm not."

"Who's that?" I turn my head to see Willie rest his head on my shoulder as he wraps his arms around me.

"His names Jesse. He used to be a really good friend of mine and Tanna's before I left London. I felt like he was always trying to one up me all the time when we were with her and of course leaving her behind meant leaving her with him."

"Did you guys stop speaking?"

"Yeah, we lost contact after a while. It was probably my fault, but I couldn't help be angry by the way he got to stay with her when I couldn't be there for her and it's happening again."

"I've seen you two together, I don't think she'd ever be able to replace you Al." I lean back into him, smiling at his words, knowing he never fails to say the right thing. "You know, for a second when I saw him, I was about to ask if I had some competition"

I chuckle lowly, feeling his chest vibrate against me in laughter as well before I turn my head to look at him.

"With him? Nope. Someone else? Maybe." I say teasingly as he roll his eyes in response. I lean up, connecting my lips with his before pulling back away from his face. "That, was a total lie, if anyone has to worry about competition, it'd be me."

"You're ridiculous, come here." He chuckles, shaking his head in disbelief as he gently holds my face with one hand, bringing it closer to him before connecting our lips.