Lara-Jean

"All set?" Covey asked as I got into the passenger seat of her car.

I still couldn't believe I was doing this, I was about to spend Thanksgiving weekend with Covey. Besides being nervous to spend a whole weekend with her, I was secretly so grateful. It was way better than being in school alone.

I nodded and Covey reversed out of the driveway, and began speeding along the highway to her house an hour and a half from our University town.

The first few moments were silent, the tension in the air for the past few weeks still hung heavy in the air. My windows were down and the breeze from outside was slapping against my face, tossing my hair in every direction.

"You know," Covey said, her eyes on the road ahead of her, "I don't let what I want go easily."

My breathing hitched and my heart picked up speed. For some reason I felt oddly warm, hearing those words from her. It didn't scare me.

I knew exactly what she meant by that. I turned and looked at her, taking in her side profile. Her short dark hair was falling in her eyes and I could see just how toned her arms were. She was ethereal.

I knew Covey was aware of me cheking her out from the slight smirk that was tugging at her lips.

I tore my eyes away and instead turned up the radio, immediately some rock song started blaring. Covey reached over and turned it up louder, our hands brushed. I ignored the sparks and brought my hands back to my lap.

"Lara-Jean!" Covey yelled above the music.

I turned my head to look at her, I tried not to think of how nice my name souded coming from her.

"You're gonna have to feed me." Covey yelled above the music. I didn't understand why she couldn't just turn it down and talk normally.

"What?" I said, raising my voice.

"I'm hungry and I'm driving."

Rolling my eyes I reached into the backseat pulling out a huge bag of crisps. Popping it open I began feeding Covey the crisps. She was smiling really big, clearly enjoying this treatment and I rolled my eyes and giggled.

"Do you think your dad would like me?" I blurted out after a few moments of silence.

I couldn't help but be paranoid, I always got like this when meeting new people. At first I wasn't sure if Covey even heard me above the music but we drew to a halt at a red light and she turned off the music completely.

"Are you kidding me. He'd love you." She was staring into my eyes intently.

I was the first to break the stare.

-*-

I was standing at the front door and my heart was beating fast. Why? I was just meeting Covey's dad, no big deal right? From the corner of my eye I could feel Covey's eyes fixated on me.

"Hello sweetheart!"

The door was suddenly opened revealing a man I assumed to be Covey's father. It was crazy how identical they looked-the same eyes and everything. Her father had even more tattoos than Covey, whom he was crushing in a bear hug, she looked embarrassed. It was hands down the most adorable thing I had ever seen.

It made me long for my father.

"This must be that Princess you're always telling me about." Covey's father said, his eyes focusing on me. He smiled and I had to smile back.

Covey talks about me?

"Lara-Jean." I said extending my hand out to him. "It's really nice to meet you, sir."

"Oh please, skip the formalities. Call me Mark."

He pulled me in for a hug of my own, I felt warm being in his arms. He had this fatherly sense to him, it made me feel soft. My heart ached as I stood there- willing and wishing it were my father that were crushing me in his embrace.

"Come on dad, stop gushing over Lara-Jean, I'm sure she's tired."

Covey sounded really flushed beside me-and I smiled, this was new for her. Getting so flustered. It was cute.

"Oh please, don't be jealous." Mark retorted.

I laughed audibly as Covey blushed, it was lovely seeing her like this.

Mark finally stepped aside and I walked into the house. It was decently sized, and it smelt beautiful. There were ornaments up around, and pictures of art.

"I'm gonna get dinner ready, you girls should get settled in." He winked before running off, whistling a tune to himself.

I stared after him for a moment, smiling despite myself.

I turned to Covey and she was looking at me, she had an intense type of gaze in her eyes.

"So um, the guest room is right this way." She said, taking my bag from me and leading me through a narrow hallway.

Of course. This wasn't school. I wasn't going to sleep in her room. I was already spending Thanksgiving with her, I wasn't going to intrude on her personal space as well. I tried to ignore the disappointment and longing I felt.

The walls were plain, except for more artwork and there was a single bed in the centre, nothing too fancy.

"Dinner would be ready in five", Covey said, flashing me a smile before leaving.

She was so freaking nice to me all the time, even after I had severally pushed her away. I knew I didn't deserve this- I didn't deserve her, any piece of her.

I sighed and walked out, I could already hear voices and there was Covey and her father seated at a little table. I smiled joining them, dinner went fast. Conversation was smooth, Mark was such a natural and nice guy to be around. I felt Covey's stares on me a lot of the time and I squirmed under her gaze.

After dinner I headed back into the guest room and took a shower. It had been a long day and the second my head hit the pillow I was out.

-*-

"Daddy." I whispered. My eight year old self shaking the unconscious body before me, "wake up please".

But I knew he wasn't going to wake up.

I desperately tried to ignore the pool of blood flowing out of his head or the gun in his hands. This was my daddy, he had to wake up.

"Lara-Jean!"

My mother was in the room, one look at my father on the floor and she collapsed to the ground. Her eyes peeled back, her mouth hanging open. But no words came out, she stayed frozen like this for a while.

Everything was happening so fast, too much for my naive brain to comprehend.

And then the tears began to fall.

I woke up in a cold sweat, crying. I hadn't had a dream like this in so long, I thought I had passed this stage and it was finally over. I swallowed hard as I struggled to calm myself down.

Everything was dark and silent and I was scared, I couldn't stay here alone. I slowly got up my body shivering in the darkness, jumping at any slight sound and climbed the stars quickly. I didn't know which was Covey's room but I made a guess heading to the room at the end of the corridor.

"Lara-Jean?" Covey asked once I walked in.

Her bedside lamp was on and she seemed to have been reading a book which she immediately put away the second she saw me. I felt slightly less guilty knowing I hadn't interrupted her sleeping.

"Lara-Jean? Is everything okay?"

The concern in Covey's eyes, spread across her face, did it for me.

I collapsed then. Crying and shivering.

In a second Covey was at my side. She slowly lifted me, walking over to her bed she laid me down gently, getting under the covers and holding me close.

She didn't ask any questions, just held me whilst I cried.

"My dad," I mumbled once I had managed to get control of myself, "he took his life when I was eight years old. Sometimes I get nightmares...I couldn't save him-" my voice broke off all over again and my shoulders shook furiously.

Covey held me close, while I sobbed.

"I've got you." Covey whispered fiercely into my ear, "I've got you Princess".

Her arms were securely around me and I relaxed, leaning into her. Her scent was comforting. I closed my eyes and let the darkness engulf me.