•Calum

My fingers played with the strings, trying to get the notes right. I kept grumbling under my breath. Nothing was sounding pleasant and I continued to make mistake after mistake. Maybe my head is too dizzy to be practicing right now, but I was terrified that the same thing would happen on stage tonight.

I felt completely numb. I was ignoring every emotion possible, just putting all of my energy into my music. I didn't want to think about anything or anyone. I needed to get the old Calum back and start partying and hooking up with girls just for the brief thrill of it. There may not be any love involved, but that was much easier than feeling this hurt.

Luke cautiously sat down next to me. I could feel his blue eyes scanning over the scene, but I didn't bother to make eye contact with him. I really wasn't in the mood to speak with anyone.

"You know your phone has been going off for the last hour," Luke stated timidly, clasping his hands together as he played with the silver ring that he occasionally wore.

"Yup," I deadpanned, tightening up the strings.

"And you're not even going to read them?" He questioned, making me want to roll my eyes.

"Fine," I groaned, reaching over to the side table to grip my phone that was vibrating out of control, while still keeping the curve of the bass over my thigh. I unlocked the screen to view the messages, but I didn't even need to open them to know who they were from.

From: Cassidy Gold- calum please just let me explain something
From: Cassidy Gold- i really need to talk to you
From: Cassidy Gold- don't ignore me it's important

From: Cassidy Gold- ok i know you don't want to talk to me and i don't blame you but please just at least read this
From: Cassidy Gold- i never slept with troy. i only said that to make you mad or jealous because you aggravated me. idk why i did it, i acted on impulse and i really regret it i'm so sorry
From: Cassidy Gold- i've always been so honest with you and have never lied to you before idk why i lied i'm an idiot

From: Cassidy Gold- i'm really sorry just know that you are special to me and i do love you and i probably always will and that sex is still important to me and i hope it will be for you too
From: Cassidy Gold- u have every right to be pissed at me bc i messed up big time i just hope you can somehow forgive me for lying it was such a stupid thing to do. i wasn't thinking at all

From: Cassidy Gold- i don't think you're gonna answer and that's fine i don't deserve it. i should have just explained to you that troy tried to kiss me but i said no bc of you. idk why i had to open my mouth and say that. it was totally out of spite

From: Cassidy Gold- just be careful and make good choices and have a good tour okay? i'm glad we at least got the summer together and made up after all those years i hope the same thing doesn't happen to us again and we can at least be on good terms

From: Cassidy Gold- ok maybe not since you still haven't answered any of these but that's alright
From: Cassidy Gold- goodbye calum
From: Cassidy Gold- i wish you the best

I sighed, flinging my phone back onto the table without a care in the world that I wasn't replying. The fact that she lied only fueled my anger even more. I mean, I'm reliever that she didn't sleep with Troy, but her lying to me just to push my buttons was something I wasn't okay with, even if I used to be guilty of the same crime.

Luke's mouth parted open slightly, as he stood there dumbfounded. "You're not even going to answer her?"

I shrugged nonchalantly, returning my attention back to the bass resting on my lap.

He placed his palm over all of the strings, forcing me to glance up at him. "Calum, I know you guys got into a fight or whatever but she was still your first love and your best friend. That's not something you can just throw away."

"We hated each other for four years and were fine. I'm sure we will be alright not talking to each other for another four, at least," I mumbled, not even feeling an ounce of pain over the idea of not seeing Cassidy again.

Luke shook his head at me, raising to his feet. "You were so much happier with her, though. I hope you realize this is a big mistake some time soon."

"No, the big mistake was listening to you guys and breaking up with her in the first place," I spat, unable to hold back the fury that was building inside of me.

His face flashed with a hurt expression. Luke chewed on his bottom lip. "You never had to listen to us. I'm sorry that we pressured you, but this isn't all our fault."

I scoffed. "Um, actually it kind of is."

Luke rolled his eyes at me. "You know what? Whatever. I'm only trying to help you. When you want to take responsibility for your own problems then you can come and find me."

•Cassidy

I bundled up in a sweater, feeling the knitted material tickle my smooth skin. It wasn't even that cold outside, I just felt entirely gloomy and that the ice that must have been living inside of my soul was causing a shift in the weather.

When I returned back onto set, Troy instantly noticed my presence, gravitating towards me. I didn't think it was going to be awkward between us due to our previous encounter, but I was still slightly concerned that our almost-kiss might create a bump in our friendship.

"You okay?" He asked in a concerned manner, his eyes locked right on mine.

I shook my head in response. "No, not really. I got into a big fight with Calum and we broke up, like for real, and I barely got any sleep and I just feel so guilty and I can't concentrate on anything and-"

"Hey, it's going to be okay," Troy assured me, placing his hands on my shoulders and rubbing them slightly to calm me down. "What did you, um, fight about?"

I swallowed. "You," I answered immediately, then back pedaled a bit so his ego wouldn't get too big. "Well, I wanted to make him jealous and piss him off so I told him that we slept together."

The outline of a smirk curled up onto his plump lips. "I mean, we could easily make that come true."

I stared at him in shock. I couldn't believe he had the audacity to attempt to flirt with me when I had obviously been hysterically crying over this. "Okay, bye," I said harshly, turning on my heel while an irritated scoff left my mouth.

Troy grasped my arm, pulling me around to look at him. "Hey, Cass, I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me. But you're free now. You can date who you want without worrying. So maybe we'll be able to go out again soon, and maybe this time you'll actually kiss me or maybe even more than just kissing."

His behavior and body language was not friendly at all, and I felt suddenly repulsed that someone I considered to be my friend was really just doing this whole listening thing just to get me to date him, or go further than that.

"Unbelieveable," I muttered under my breath, shaking my head in disappointment. "No, Troy. I'm not dating you. I'm not dating anyone. I completely went against my morals because of how angry I was and I need time to myself to figure out who I am becoming and who I want to be. I need to be independent. I can't do that by getting involved with someone else."

"He's not even that good of a boyfriend. I don't get why you're so far up his ass," Troy called to me as I started to stroll away again. "I could treat you so much better than that jerk."

"Clearly," I responded sarcastically, growing quickly annoyed with his reaction to rejection and his childish behavior.

I returned back into my dressing room, sliding onto one of the couches with a deep exhale. All I wanted was to go home, or to see the person who made me feel like I was at home. I missed his presence even when we were still in contact, and now that he is completely ignoring me the pain is going to be multipled even further.

I wish I wasn't such a screw up. I wish I was able to actually communicate with him and express how badly I feel and how much I regret lying to him. I wish everything was back to the way it was in the summer, back when I got to see him have his goofy smile plastered over his face and back when the two of us were so happy and in love.

I do need some space to grow up though. I am still clinging onto our relationship because it is so important to me, but obviously I have an issue with my impulsive behavior and my lack of maturity. I intend on finally growing up from my naïve, childish actions, I just wish that didn't mean I had to grow apart from my favorite person in the world in the process.

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author's note: ok i dont rlly like this chapter srry & srry for the split povs but thats how must chapters are prolly gonna be for awhile to show how both of them are coping w the breakup you feel me

now y'all see that troy isnt as perfect as you percieved him to be lmao u thought

also sorry this took me a bit longer than my usual two-to-three day updates but im a senior in high school i have a social life and school and a job and practice and updating is not my first priority but i do appreciate that you guys like this story enough to want more of it that is so nice thank you

thank you guys so much for reading this i apppreciate all of you and i love u all sm have a nice day babes

hopefully a nosy pepper doesnt get jalapeno business anytime soon!! but if ya wanna get in my business follow me on twitter @ calumfridge sometimes im funny on there

dedicated to all of you for sticking w me and continuning to read this even though the c squared break up has been painful and long but i try to make a realistic fanfic okay babes love u