Chapter 51 // Over

•Cassidy

"I think your phone is ringing," Bree told me, nudging towards my bedroom with her hand that was holding onto a slice of pizza.

I jumped to my feet, walking over towards my room and unplugging my phone from my charger. It was Calum calling me, and I hesitated before answering. I really wanted to ignore him and become independent again, but I was curious as to what he wanted to speak to me about.

My foot kicked my door shut. I was sure that if Bree knew I was still in everyday contact with him she would give me another lecture. It's all so complicated though. I want to talk to him and hear his adorable voice with his slight lisp or the rasp he acquired when he was groggy, but I didn't want to face the fact that every time we speak I end up getting more hurt than before.

I knew it was a bad idea, but I still lifted the phone to my ear. "Hi," I greeted shyly, folding my knees up so I was sitting cross-legged on the bed.

"I can't believe you!" Calum yelled straight away, startling me. "Why did you do this, Cass? Why?"

"Do what?" I asked in irritation, dreading this conversation already.

"Are you not going to tell me what you did last night?" Calum questioned in accusatory tone. "Were you planning on keeping the fact that you went on a date last night a secret from me?"

I groaned, throwing my head down onto the pillow. "What? Calum, I told you I was hanging out with Troy. Please don't make this into a big deal."

"You hanging out with Troy is a completely different subject than having to see the two of you kissing and cuddling on the cover of every magazine!" Calum argued. He sounded incredibly frustrated, and more upset than angered.

I felt my cheeks alter to a shade of bright pink. My face always grew hot with embarrassment or with nerves, and the idea of pictures of a simple outing was all over the media right now made me feel incredibly uneasy. If I was in Calum's position I would be jealous if I saw pictures of him with another girl, yes, but I wouldn't be getting as furious as him.

"Calum, you broke up with me so you could hook up with other girls. I barely even go on a date and you're flipping out," I stated in a monotonous voice.

He groaned under his breath. "But have I hooked up with a single girl yet? No. I thought I would be tempted but I'm not because I'm in love with you. I thought you felt the same way, but obviously I was wrong since you were so quick to move on."

Move on. God, I wanted to snort. He had absolutely no idea what he was talking about. Obviously I wasn't even close to moving on if I was still talking to him.

"Calum, whether or not you acted on your original intention is not my problem. You can't get mad at me for hanging out with my costar when you dropped me like it was nothing," I responded, fighting the urge to scream at him for his controlling behavior when we weren't even together anymore.

He sighed so loud I could hear it through the phone. "Cassidy, don't act like this is easy for me. You know how hard it is. I don't go a second without thinking about you. If I didn't care I wouldn't be calling you all the time."

"You only contact me when you need something. Like when you need someone to reassure you, or when you need someone to flirt with when you're drunk, or when you need someone to send you pictures because you're horny and apparently can't watch porn like a normal guy," I rambled, trying to show him how I felt like I was being used merely for his own personal gain.

"Okay, yeah. But aren't you glad all my brain is capable of thinking of is you? Even when I'm completely hammered, I still turn down other girls and only want you. I've never had that kind of loyalty to someone before, Cass," Calum admitted. "I was wrong about the whole break-up. I told you I just needed a few weeks to see if I could handle being in a relationship. And I can. So I was calling to ask if you wanted to give us another try."

I felt my chest tighten as I began to lose my breath. "You are?" I repeated in complete surprise, since I was starting to lose hope that he would ever want to date again.

"Well, I was," Calum said, indicating that his thoughts were in the past tense. "But that was before I saw how happy you looked without me. How happy you could be with some other guy, while I was out at the bar drinking away my sorrows, missing the girl that I thought felt the same way about me."

I wanted to rip my hair out.

"Calum, nothing is going on between Troy and I! We just went on one date!" I yelled out of frustration, letting the word date slip out of my mouth even though that wasn't what it was. "You do not have the ability to tell me that I can't go out with other guys when we're broken up! You're the one who did this!"

"I didn't want to break up! I never did, okay? I was just listening to my stupid friends and being super paranoid. I'm an idiot, Cassidy. But you know that I'm an idiot more than anyone. I figured you would have waited until I realized what an idiot I was before you moved on," He replied, in a desperation ridden voice.

I shut my eyes for a moment to process what was even happening right now. "I haven't moved on, Calum. But that's not fair that you ask me to wait for you. I have a life of my own too, you know."

"But I would have waited for you! I would have gave you your time to figure things out if you were filming in another country, in a different time zone, with a hectic schedule. I love you so much more than you love me, and that's what kills me," Calum mumbled, and I could almost see him shaking his head at me even though we are on the phone.

"How can you say that, Calum? You know how I feel about you!" I shouted, feeling completely agitated by how he could accuse me of that. "You hurt me, and I still love you and talk to you everyday even though it kills me inside. You can't honestly believe I don't care about you."

"You hurt me too!" Calum yelled just as loudly. "Do you know how jealous I was seeing you and Troy together on the cover of every magazine? You told me he was like a brother to you. If that's how you act with Anthony than I will be very uncomfortable with your family. I hated seeing someone else get to hold my favorite person in their arms, and the fact that you two kissed in public makes me want to punch a wall."

I curled my first together, clenching my hand tightly with angry. He was only basing this off of what he had seen, not what I was telling him. He had no idea that I stopped Troy from kisisng me because of him, and at this point I doubt he would even believe me.

"We didn't-" I began to scream, but then stopped myself. I needed to say something to make him as angry as he was making me. So I acted on complete impulse. "We didn't just kiss. I slept with him too."

Calum's side of the phone call went completely silent.

"You- you did?" He asked quietly, his voice incredibly shaky as if he could barely utter the words.

I didn't respond. I felt the guilt of my lie creeping through the pit of my stomach, instantly regretting this. It didn't make him envious or furious, it just made him sound completely fragile.

I could faintly hear him sniffling. It wasn't a sick sniffle like his nose was stuffed with tissues, it was a sniffle used to prevent someone from crying. "Are you crying?" I questioned in a much lighter, and sympathetic tone.

Calum sniffled again. "Yeah. I can't believe- I mean, after everything we've been through and overcome. I thought sex was like special to you, and it made it feel special to me too, because it was with you. And now you just threw all of that away for Troy. It's like I didn't mean anything to you."

"Calum, that's not true," I muttered through chattering teeth.

My legs began to wobble. I couldn't bare to hear him talk like this. "No, it is true. You've moved on. You are able to let another guy see you at your most vulnerable point, and see all of your beauty, and get to have that connection with you. I'm not special anymore. Maybe I never even was. I mean, if you're able to just forget about our whole relationship after only a few weeks, I must not be that important."

I gulped as my chest tightened up. I was such a screw up. I was such an immature, childish, pathetic girl and it was breaking my heart to hear him speak like this. "No, Calum. I was ly-"

"Don't say anything else, Cassidy. As a matter of fact, don't talk to me again. We've both changed. We're both different people now. At least, you are. I'm having fun with the boys, you're having fun with your cast. We'll just focus on our careers like we planned. This is too hard for me," Calum rambled off, almost as if he was speaking in one quiet breath.

I could hardly breathe as panic slipped over me. "What? No. Calum, no! I was ly-"

"I hope he makes you happy," Calum interrupted, sighing loudly from his end. "Shit, I'm such an idiot. I hope you have a good life, Cassidy. I, um, maybe I'll see you again. At like another movie premiere or something. I don't know."

"Calum! Stop! What are you doing?" I called out, as my heart rate rapidly inclined. I leaped to my feet as anxiety took complete control over me, and began to pace around my room like a maniac.

He whimpered, making it clear that he was crying. "Goodbye, Cassidy. This was fun while it lasted, right?"

I made one final attempt to come clean, but it was already too late. Calum had hung up, completely terminating our phone call. And deep down in my gut, I had a feeling that it was the last phone call we'd be having for awhile, which was all my fault.

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author's note: THE END

lmao jk there is still a lot more to go but yeah their relationship is officially over now no more of this "we're broken up but still together thingy" and its all thx to cassidy for being an impulsive moron

well thank you so much for reading this!! i hope you all have a lovely day bc i love you all even tho you're all prolly angry or frustrated or annoyed rn which i completely understand but hey if this story doesn't even make u feel an ounce of any emotion then im doin a crappy job lol

also i think close as strangers is like the anthem of this story it is official that is the theme song

dedicated to 5secondsofsquidward for commenting about how she kept thinking of c squared in math hahah u guys are cute i love you all thanks for reading babes

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