•Cassidy

"What are you doing here?" I asked impatiently, not hiding the ice in my tone one bit. His presence annoyed me, simply because it was a reminder of the mess we have both been dragged into. However, I was kind of touched by the fact that he drove all the way over to Bree's.

Calum swallowed, making his little Adam's Apple bob up and down on his neck. His upper and bottom jaw were clamped tightly together, making the bone protrude out of the side of his face. "I really would like to apologize, but I can't communicate well because I always say the wrong things or I freeze up, so I wrote everything I want to say down. Can you read this, please?"

He hand me a tattered piece of paper that had pen marks leaking through onto the other side. With just a short glimpse down at the page I spotted various scribbles and words being crossed out, making it obvious that he had put a lot of effort into this. A part of me, the one that always held grudges, wanted to rip this up into tiny pieces and scatter the remains over a fire. But the majority of my brain was urging me to fulfill my curiousity and scan over his attempt to make things right.

"Okay," I agreed, taking the letter into my hands and carrying it with me over to the bed in Bree's spare room.

I propped my back up against the headboard, squishing a pillow in between my spine and the wood to allow myself to get comfortable. Calum sat cross-legged on the carpeted floors, awkwardly watching me with hopeful eyes and a sense of anxious anticipation. With a heavy sigh I began to read the letter.

Cassidy,

I'm really fucking sorry. I'm sorry for a lot of things, one of them being how it has taken me a millenium to finally say this. I was always so scared to apologize, and I'm honestly not even sure why, but I have known that you have deserved one since the moment it happened, I was just too much of a pus- I mean, wimp, to tell you.

I'm sorry for humiliating you in front of Joey and in front of all of those people in the cafeteria. I never meant to cause a scene. Something came over me that day. I think I was either trying to get rid of Joey or that I was trying to make you angry so that when I went to private school the following year we wouldn't have as hard of a time being apart.

I don't know, Cass, I'm a total idiot. All I know for sure was that everything I said that day was a total lie. I didn't just want to get in your pants. You meant the absolute world to me and I was so lucky to have a friend like you, someone who I could spend hours with without getting bored and someone who I could be my absolute self with. I also didn't mean it when I said you were bad at sex. You were actually really good for your first time. I still remember all of it, and I'm still honored to be your first, even though you probably regret agreeing to it and I don't blame you.

I'm also really sorry for screwing you up. You shouldn't be so hesistant around guys just because of me. I mean, I understand why you are, cause like I was a major jerk who completely betrayed you and acted like I didn't care about you at all. But not all guys are like me, I'm not even like me anymore. Okay, that probably didn't make sense but I'm trying to say that I've changed and I hope you can realize that, along with how I hope you can realize that if you push boys away because of me, you are going to miss out on chances of falling in love. And you deserve to find that.

This is probably overwhelming since I'm throwing all of this at you at once, but this apology is long overdue. Something happened at the press conference when I stood up for you, it was like my protective best friend role had snapped back into me. I know you hate living with me, and I get that, but I actually don't mind it. It reminds me so much of our childhood. I have missed you so much, Cass and I will do whatever it takes to get us back to the way things were before.

I'm sorry for being such a butthead. I hope you can forgive me. Maybe not right now, but hopefully in the future.

-Cal x

I held the letter firmly in my grasp, letting out a heavy sigh as I processed all the words he had written. It was what I had longed to hear, and it answered my questions, but now I just had no clue how to respond. I have spent the last four years of my life hating the kid with every fiber in my being, now how I was supposed to alter that train of thought?

"So, this was everything you didn't say?" I wondered, my voice suddenly sounding dry and strained.

Calum glanced up at me, obviously stunned by the fact tha I had finished reading his note. "Um, yeah."

"Thank you," I mumbled, not being able to formulate any other response to him.

He stood up, shuffling over to the bed I was perched on and flopped down onto the mattress himself. His thick eyebrows were furred together. "That's it? That's all you have to say?"

I gulped, shrugging my shoulders nonchalantly. My armpits were starting to sweat as the nerves kicked in, since Calum was suddenly starting to seem thoroughly irritated by my reply. But I was truly at a loss for words. I had finally received the apology I always dreamt of, but now I had absolutely no clue of how to react or where we were supposed to go from here.

"I don't know what I'm supposed to say," I admitted, biting down on my lip as a nervous-response.

Calum exhaled loudly, puffing air out of his mouth that fanned the front of my face. "I just- I just worked really hard on that note, okay? I wanted some kind of reaction, I don't know. Do you agree with it? Are you still mad at me? Do you still hate me? Do you want to not hate me? Do you want to be friends again? 'Cause I do and it sucks that we can't be friends because I don't know how to fix my mistake," Calum rambled, obviously becoming rather frustrated.

His voice started to crack and his fingers began to shake. If I squinted I was almost positive I could spot a few tears building up in his eyes, threatening to spill over his cheeks. "Even if you still hate me can you please still live in that house? I have never lived alone before, I'm always with the boys. You were only gone a few hours and I was so lonely. I don't think Martin is going to stop the roommates agreement and I don't think I will ever stop missing you. Please come back home, Cass. We can rebuild our friendship again."

Calum sucked in a deep breath as he started to whimper, and he could no longer hide the fact that he grown emotional and started to cry. Calum covered his eyes with his palms. "I'm so sorry, Cass. I miss you so much," Calum muttered in between his sniffles.

I had only seen Calum cry twice in my whole life. Once when he had broken his arm when we were playing soccer in his backyard, and once when he found out that his grandfather had died. Other than that, he had never cried in front of me before. When he was sad I would always just talk him through it or he would disappear for a bit to play the guitar, or the bass.

But it's been a long time apart, and I didn't know how to console him anymore. However, it was still breaking my heart to see him so frustrated and shaken up, so I did the only thing I could think of. I wrapped my arms around him.

Calum jumped at first, obviously shocked that I had willingly given him a hug, but he soon relaxed into my arms and pulled me closer to his body while nestling his head into my neck. I rubbed my hands on his toned back in circles, trying to calm him down. It obviously worked, since he had stopped crying, but he didn't pull away from our embrace. I squeezed him even tighter as a sense of nostalgia sweeped over me. He still gave the best hugs.

I tilted my head back so I could see his face and wiggled my body out of his grip, simply so I could touch his face. His brown eyes stared intently as my hand moved closer to him, placing my palm gently on his large cheeks to wipe away his tears with his thumb. "I forgive you," I told him with honesty. "I want to be friends again too."

Calum's mouth parted open and I removed my hand from his chiseled face. "You do?"

"Yeah, I mean, you apologized and that's all I ever wanted. You obviously seem to regret your mistake so I should try and move on. It doesn't make sense for us to be in this arrangement and not be friends. It will make our lives easier if we can actually tolerate each other," I explained, giving him a small smile. "And as much as it pains me to admit this, I miss the way things used to be too."

Calum grinned and opened his mouth to speak, but I beat him to it, raising my hand up to signal him to stop talking. "But," I started. "If we are going to be friends again there will be a few conditions."

"Okay, that's fair."

"One: I still don't really trust you, so please don't do anything to make the whole gaining trust thing even harder," I announced, and Calum simply nodded in an understanding manner.

"Two: I know I've only been on one date with Luke but I actually like him a lot and that hasn't happened in awhile so please don't do anything to jeopardize that and please don't embarrass me in front of him."

Calum nodded again. "I won't. I swear."

"Good. And three: If you are going to hook up with that girl to satisfy your needs or whatever, please just go to her house. Please do not have sex with anyone on the bed in our room," I pleaded, shuddering as the horrific memory on walking in on the two of them re-entered my brain.

"Unless it's with-" Calum began to say, then brought his sentence to halt before he could finish, so I had no clue what exception he was referring. "Nevermind. Sorry. Can we go home now?"

I glimpsed at him. It felt nice to not look at him with pure disgust. He had seemed to realize and regret his mistake, and I always will give someone a second chance. Holding grudges added so much unnessecary negative energy into my mind, and it surprisingly felt extremely liberating to start fresh.

"Yeah. I'll drive us home. Ashton and Bree don't have to end their night just yet," I stated with a smirk, leaping off of the bed and retreiving my stuff before we left Bree's house.

•*•*•

To: Lukey- luke

To: cASS- hi cutie

To: cASS- what's up

To: Lukey - are u still picking me up for a surprise date tonight or should i not bother getting ready

To: cASS- you don't even need to get ready you always look great ;-)

To: Lukey- shut up stop being cute

To: Lukey- and stop with the noses in ur smileys i have told you this before!!

To: cASS- ok sorry sassy cassie yes i am still taking you out tonight

To: Lukey- good i miss your face

To: cASS- :-) see you soon cass

I smiled at my phone, feeling heat flush to my cheeks. Luke and I have been texting quite often in these past few days and I'm really glad he is able to make me feel all giddy through messages.

Even though today was Friday and the first day of Calum and I living together as being friends again, or trying to be, Calum wasn't even going to be here to hangout with. He told me that Michael had invited him out to go see some movie and that he really missed his band so he was going to ditch me, but only for today.

I dashed into the bedroom and changed out of my baggy t-shirt and sweatpants and into a high-waisted light blue skirt with a white tank top tucked into it. I let my golden blonde hair roam free and rested my thick, black sunglasses onto the bridge of my nose. I had absolutely no idea where we were going, so I decided to dress casual, yet still dressy, even though Luke wouldn't be picking me up for awhile.

My feet danced against the carpet as I headed towards the bathroom to brush my teeth. After I had carefully polished each tooth and applied some perfume onto my neck, I entered the main living area again, this time noticing that there was a figure now lounged on the surface of the sofa.

"Oh, hey," I greeted, making Calum crane his neck to the side to get a view of me. He smiled. "Are you still going to see Michael today?"

Calum chuckled. "Yeah. He's picking me up though so I have to wait a bit. But I'm really excited. I love that boy. It's so weird that I'm not with them everyday anymore."

"I'm sorry," I apologized, tucking a piece of my hair behind my ear as I sat on the opposite couch. "That's my fault. But they are always more than welcome to come over, or even sleepover. You don't have to feel weird about having them hang out here."

"I know, it's just easier for me to go there since they are all in one place," Calum insisted, shifting on the couch so he was sitting straight up. "Besides, you are probably only saying that because you want to see Luke again."

I giggled, playfully throwing a pillow at him. My actions were involuntarily and they surprised me. I had forgiven him just last night and we were already making progress. This was a good sign. "We're actually going on a date tonight."

"Nice," Calum said blandly, checking his phone after a text message lit up the screen. "Mikey's here. Um, I'll see you later?"

"Okay," I agreed, giving him a small wave. "Wait, um Bree reminded me yesterday that Troy, you know my costar, Troy Wilde? Well he's having a party tomorrow night and we wanted to invite you guys to it. It's at his house, nothing fancy, but you and your band can come if you want."

He nodded his head, heading towards the door. "Alright, I'll ask them. Bye, Cass."

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author's note: this chapter is called new bc this could be the start of something new

i know some people are going to be mad at cassidy for forgiving calum so quickly but it's been four years and just bc she forgives him doesn't mean they are going to be become bffs right away. think of it like a friendship three week free trial to test things out ya know

also on a serious note it is good to forgive people even if they don't necessarily deserve forgiveness but bc you deserve peace and not having hatred and toxic thoughts waste space in your mind!!!

love you all so much thank you for 100k already and 12k followers this is still all so surreal for me wtf

dedicated to suckmycash cause she always leaves a toooonn of super funny comments that make my day :)