Your gaze trailed over the contents of your walk-in closet as you stood nervously in the bedroom you once called your own.

Shawn was far less frantic, his outfit having been laid out on the bed the two of you shared for hours. It was like a breath of fresh air to him—finally being able to express his feelings, to be open, and to love. Wholly and completely.

It was Valentine's Day.

Shawn had been planning this forever. The date, the meal, the walk home, the sex—it was all second nature to him because he'd wanted this for so long.

But you, on the other hand, weren't so lovestruck.

Not to say you weren't completely head over heels in love with your boyfriend and roommate, because you totally were. It was more a matter of never having done this before, and never having done this in love before.

That's what scared the hell out of you.

So you tugged your bottom lip into your mouth, pushing up on your tiptoes as if it would give you a new insight regarding the clothing that hung limply in your old closet. It didn't.

But it didn't matter. Shawn would take you to the fucking altar in whatever you decided to wear. And it was obvious.

Obvious in the way that he hummed as his fingers scratched at his shampooed scalp, trying his best not to bounce around with excitement. He was ecstatic, darting around the house and stealing kisses every time he possibly could because he was so over-the-fucking-moon that there was no pressure anymore.

You were together and you both knew. Added bonus: the world knew.

Long waves of hair cascaded over your bare shoulders as you decided you were finally ready to go, pinching a pair of black heels from under the bed to slip into. Shawn was waiting patiently in the living room, scrolling through his Instagram feed with one long leg folded over the other.

He hadn't looked up yet—hadn't noticed your eyes raking over his crisp black suit and the way he filled it out perfectly. You'd never seen Shawn wear a tie before, recalling him having mentioned something about it always feeling too tight.

But who the hell were you kidding? He couldn't breathe around you anyway.

A click of your left heel caused his head to snap up, deep brown curls bobbing with his sudden movement. You had to admit—you looked good. Shawn was on his feet in seconds.

"Ready?" he asked, a wide grin displaying his teeth. He knew that normally, with you looking like that, he'd want to stay in. Lock the front door and cover the windows, the navy mini-dress snug around your frame long-abandoned. But that barely crossed his mind.

You managed to nod, connecting your left hand with his outstretched right one to do a little twirl in the middle of the kitchen. Shawn's fingers locked around your wrist and pulled you in, knocking the breath from your lungs as your chest collided with his, a pair of big brown eyes looking into yours. But they weren't searching anymore. They'd already found you.

You couldn't help it. Your lips curled into a bashful grin as he beamed down at you, happy to be spending Valentine's Day with someone. Fucking ecstatic that that someone was you.

"Shall we go?" you asked quietly, smoothing the front of his jacket with your small hands.

Shawn hummed in response, still grinning as he looked down at you.

_________________________

"Shawn, it's freezing," you smiled, both of your stomachs bloated after eating your weight in pasta.

"Don't care," he sung, pulling you against him on the sidewalk as he waited for the lights to change, "we never go on walks together. I like being out with you."

His fingers crept into the pocket of your wool coat, interlacing themselves with yours and giving a little squeeze. The little walking man lit up and Shawn began to cross the street, you trailing closely behind as best as you could.

"Slow down!" you giggled, "your legs are so long!"

"I always forget you're small," he laughed, decelerating just a bit, "this is so gorgeous."

He was stopped, now, looking down a very vacated King Street. Snow was falling in large chunks, the light of the lamp posts giving everything a yellow hue. It was cold as fuck, but there was a warmth inside of you. In the shape of a certain curly-haired boy, specifically.

Your eyes found Shawn, who was completely taken aback by the beauty of his surroundings. For him, it was you.

"What?" you asked with a grin, his serious expression momentarily freaking you out as his eyes never left your own.

"You're just so beautiful," he spoke, closing the space between your chilly bodies and cupping your cheeks.

He kissed you. Hard. The wind chilled your face but his lips were hot on yours, moving against your mouth softly but persistently. You slipped your hands into his overcoat–mainly to keep them warm—sending a shiver up his spine as your fingertips trailed across the expanse of his torso.

Shawn walked you backward, swiftly sandwiching your small frame against a brick wall, his trained arms boxing you in. His needy lips finally broke from yours and he hovered for a second, your noses touching.

"Happy Valentine's Day, baby," he whispered, your hands pulling him closer by the small of his back, "you're my everything."

"I love you," you grinned, and it seemed it was contagious because he was beaming, "but we've gotta get home."

"You alright?" he questioned, suddenly concerned as he held your face in his hands.

"Yeah, it's just," you paused, "my feet really hurt."

"Alright, come on!" Shawn giggled, turning his back to you and crouching down so you could climb on top of him.

"Shawn, this is ridiculous," you laughed, looking around to see if you were attracting the attention of the odd passerby, "can't we just call an Uber?"

"I am your Uber!" he exclaimed, making grabby hands at you over his shoulder.

"I love you, idiot," you grinned, being careful not to slip as you hopped up onto his back, his grip immediately taking purchase on your thighs.

It was uncomfortable, but when you laughed and Shawn looked back at you with nothing but love and adoration, you swore your heart stopped.

_________________________

"Hot chocolate for m'lady?" Shawn raised his eyebrows as he spoke with a terrible British accent, causing a slightly drunken giggle to bubble in your chest that quickly evolved into a hiccup.

"Yes please," you hummed, planting a soft kiss on his shoulder before making your way into the bedroom you'd been sharing, desperate to kick the strappy heels off your feet. You could hear Shawn clanging around in the kitchen as your chilled body slipped into thin sweatpants and a way-too-big sweater, fishing through Shawn's dresser for the thickest socks you could possibly find.

Shawn's eyes just about bulged out of his head when he noticed what was on your feet, praying to his lucky stars that you hadn't discovered the tiny felt box tucked away in his top drawer.

"Feet feeling okay?" he questioned nervously as you hopped up on a bar stool, parting your thighs so he could stand between them as he sauntered over.

"A lot better than they would if I'd walked home," you spoke quietly, your stomach twirling a little as he took your cold hands in his warm ones, "I'll be sure to leave you a five-star review."

"That's it, eh?" he grinned, hands settling on your cotton-clad thighs as he leaned down for a gentle peck, planting the softest, daintiest kiss on your freshly-balmed lips. You inhaled deeply, fingers running up to the nape of his neck to pull him closer, so fucking grateful to have another human being as in love with you as you were with them. Shawn was sure he loved you more.

"M'gonna go change," he eventually mumbled, eyes still closed as he tried to calm his breathing. It didn't matter that he had you—you still made him nervous as all hell.

"Can I watch?" you giggled, tugging your lower lip into your mouth as you reached for the mug of hot chocolate, giddy at Shawn's playful eye roll.

Your drink was long-abandoned as you trailed after Shawn's shuffling feet, desperate to get out of his tight suit and into something a little less constricting. You threw yourself onto the mattress with a laugh, watching intently as Shawn loosened the tie around his neck.

"Mm," you hummed with a blushy grin.

"Mm what?" Shawn imitated, tilting his head at you as he laid the tie over the chair in the corner, nimble fingers beginning their assault on the tiny buttons of his dress shirt.

"Mmmmmyou're pretty," you spoke bashfully, a feeling of warmth washing over you as his smile crept up to his eyes.

"Baby," he started, "you looked fucking gorgeous tonight. Did I tell you?"

"Only a million times," you grinned, turning onto your stomach and resting your chin on your hands.

Shawn knew you looked incredible at dinner, but he was sure he preferred you like this. Swimming in his clothes, a little giddy, and madly in love.

"Meant every word," he responded, peeling the white shirt from his trained frame, the pendant of his necklace reflecting the warm light coming from the lamp he'd given you for Christmas.

An orgasm later, you laid naked in Shawn's rustled sheets, his open-mouthed kisses to your skin tickling your side. His hair went every-which-way and he was damp with sweat, aglow with a blush that had your heart bursting in your chest.

"Baby," you whispered, fingers getting caught on a knot in his curls as you tugged his head up to meet yours, his curious eyes studying your own expectantly.

"Mhm?" he hummed, honey orbs still trained on yours as he nipped at your jaw, mind completely occupied by everything that was you beneath him. Your hair. Your eyes. Your skin–god, there was so much skin. He was in heaven.

"I ordered that thing," you spoke carefully. He hadn't brought it up in weeks and you didn't dare, praying he wasn't ashamed or embarrassed or anything other than completely willing and trusting.

His hands were planted on either side of your head, and you'd seemed to have captured his full attention.

"What thing?" he questioned, face now hovering a couple of inches above yours.

"You know," you spoke, cheeks turning pink as you looked anywhere but his eyes. Besides, his shoulders looked awfully god-like right about now. You gulped, releasing an unexpected groan as Shawn rolled his hips against your underwear-clad heat with a giggle. He was still painfully hard. "That thing we saw online? When I was looking for a dress?"

"Baby, I know what you're talking about," he huffed with a grin, crushing you a bit with his weight as his arms relaxed beside your head. "It's okay. You can say it."

Your cheeks burned crimson as he raised a messy eyebrow at you, clearly not satisfied because you were having a hard time admitting it.

"The, um," you breathed, "the strap-on. For, um, for you."

Shawn grinned with a roll of his eyes, giddy and a little bit nervous to tread into uncharted territory.

"But, uh," you started, his gaze immediately snapping back to yours. He expected that would be the end of it. "It's kind of, well, big," you nodded, finally comfortable enough to reach up and caress his cheek, "so we're gonna have to work you up to it, I think? I was doing a bit of research online, an-"

You were interrupted by a low chuckle, Shawn's big brown eyes crinkling as he looked down at you.

"What?" you asked, barely a whisper. Maybe this is all a joke. Or maybe he's done this before, with past lovers and this isn't something new, isn't something specia-

"That's adorable, baby," he giggled, smacking a wet kiss onto your mouth.

Thank god.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you," he said, "please, go on."

"I, um," you closed your eyes. You couldn't believe you were about to say this. "I was thinking we could start with just, like, a finger? Would you be okay with that?"

"'Course," he spoke softly, head dipping down to nip at your neck once again. You were sure your skin was littered in purple marks and love bites, just in time for another monthly dinner with your parents.

He rolled his hips against yours again, pressing his swollen length against your core as he tugged your earlobe gently with his teeth. It was so fucking nice to be tangled up with him, not worrying about time or other people or what any of this meant. You could have laid there forever.

"You're okay with that? Positive?" you questioned, wrapping your legs around his middle to grind him against you once again.

"Honey," Shawn spoke in an exhausted but soft tone, desperate to reassure you that he wanted this, "This was my idea in the first place. I want you to," he paused, "get in control a little."

Now he was the one turning pink.

"You always make me feel good, but," he gulped, "I want you to really make me feel good. And I like trying new things with you. It's special."

All you could do was smile, thankful for his honesty and vulnerability and seemingly endless amount of love. You pushed on his shoulders, holding onto him as he rolled to lay on his back, lips on yours the entire time.

"I love you," you mumbled against his hungry lips, wiggling your bum on his crotch as he smiled against your mouth, soon welcoming your kiss-attack on his neck.

"Love you more," he hummed happily, thumbs drawing circles on your bare thighs as you straddled his middle.

Your lips made their way down his neck and across his chest, pressing gentle kisses to the patchy pink skin that was so soft beneath your mouth. Shawn watched smugly and excitedly, his left arm folded above his head and his right hand clutching your left. You trailed down his stomach and kissed along his happy trail, feeling his hips squirm as you began to peel back the cotton fabric, his swollen erection springing upward to meet your gaze.

Fuck, he looked good. The briefs were somehow kicked off and he laid naked beneath you, sculpted and begging and a little sweaty.

"You okay?" you asked softly, looking up at him as your free hand softly rubbed his thigh.

"More than okay," he whispered, but you could tell he was a little nervous. You kissed his leg.

"Not gonna do anything crazy, bub," you spoke gently, "tell me to stop and I will. I've got you."

Shawn nodded with happy eyes as you reached into your bedside to retrieve a small bottle of lubricant. His breath hitched a little at the sight of it.

You quickly put it down, not quite ready to venture into no man's land. Instead, you released his hand and kneeled between his legs, softly caressing his thighs and giving them a little push. He opened up for you, planting each foot flat on the mattress. He'd never felt more exposed in his life, and he was a fucking A-list celebrity. Talk about exposure.

"So good for me," you cooed, easing his nerves as you leaned down and kissed his stomach, exploring the area with your mouth. You sucked a bruise on his inner thigh, nipped at his hip, and finally dragged your tongue down the length of his cock. It jumped and he released a groan, the anticipation of having your mouth on him all night finally unravelling.

You looked up at him and hummed a little, wrapping your lips around the head and swirling your tongue in the process. His eyes rolled back as you took in another inch, you right hand pumping the base of his shaft and your left sinking into the back of his thigh, keeping him spread for you.

Your hand took over as you released his length from between your lips, gently sucking his balls into your mouth and watching his abs contract in the process.

You kissed his leg.

"Do you trust me, Shawn?" you looked up at him. The view was fucking immaculate.

"Trust you, baby," he panted, reaching out to cup your cheek, "I do. I love you so much."

"Tell me what you want, Shawn," you hummed, letting go of his cock to reach for the bottle. You coated your finger and he throbbed as he watched, "say it."

"Want, want you to fuck me, baby," he answered, his voice thick with sex and desperation as he pushed his hips downward into the mattress.

"You want me to fuck you?" you questioned with a grin, your hair falling forward into your face. He was ready to combust on the goddamn spot.

"Fuck, yes," he breathed, eyebrows furrowing as his cock jumped, "need you to fucking fuck me."

You bit your lip, carefully bringing your lubricated finger to explore the area. He jumped at the contact, unsure of how he felt about the foreign feeling but hungry for more. You massaged him gently as you kneeled between his spread thighs, warming him up until you felt comfortable pushing inside.

His eyes fluttered shut as you inserted your fingertip, wrapping your free hand around his cock. Shawn's right hand bunched up the light grey sheets and his left was in his hair, desperate to grip something as the sensation of having you everywhere was overwhelming his senses.

You slowly pushed in further, eyes fixed on his as they slowly opened. Shawn inhaled sharply as your right hand squeezed his length and you tilted your head at him.

"Good?"

"Fuck, yes, more," he groaned, clearing his throat as you pushed your finger inside of him to your knuckle.

He seemed to relax a little more, his back now flat against the mattress. His hips wiggled toward you a little, clearly still not satisfied with what you'd given him.

You pushed all the way in.

"Fuck," he moaned loudly, pressing the back of his head into the pillow. His left hand wrapped around your right, guiding you to work his cock as he struggled to keep his feet flat to the mattress.

"Is this okay?" you whispered, praying you weren't hurting him as his eyes squeezed shut tightly.

"Fuck, yes, yes it's good," he reassured curtly, fighting the urge to squirm beneath you, "can you, uh, can you move your finger a bit for me baby?"

You pushed the pad of your fingertip upward, massaging him softly as your right hand continued to jack off his throbbing length, a sense of pride bubbling in your chest as he began to tremble a little.

"How's it feel?" you questioned curiously, not really caring about killing the mood.

"Different," he panted, twisting the sheet in his grip as you swirled your finger a little more liberally, causing his back to arch violently, "sofuckinggood," he breathed, sweating as his legs shook on either side of you.

"Want my mouth, baby?" you asked, leaning to your side a bit to plant a soft kiss on his bent knee. He was nodding, failing to speak because he wasn't sure what might come out. You bent over and stilled your hand on his cock, wrapping your lips around his firm tip as he released a satisfied groan.

"Jesus," he muttered, squirming as your index finger began to make small circular motions, the sensation completely blowing his mind, "o-oh fuck, fuck," he grunted, "right there."

You took more of him into your mouth and continued what you were doing with your hand, leaving Shawn unsure of whether to buck his hips upward or downward or fucking explode right there.

Your change in pace made the decision for him.

"M'gonna come, fuckI'mgonnacome," he snapped, his wild eyes meeting your lustful ones as you looked up at him, welcoming every bit of him on your tongue.

He convulsed as fireworks went off behind his eyelids, calling your name like it was all he'd ever known. His thighs shook intensely, back arching as he came harder than he ever had with you, harder than he ever had with himself.

Shawn was panting, sweating, and finally releasing his death-grip on the sheets when you retracted your finger and ejected him from your mouth, one last tremor erupting in his middle from the sensitivity.

"Oh my god," he breathed, his forearm resting above his eyes as you watched the rise and fall of his ribcage, desperately waiting for some sort of feedback.

"Baby," he sighed, remembering you were there and you just did that for him and he loved you with every fucking fibre in his being.

Shawn sat up and wrapped his arms around you, tugging you downward against the mattress to lay with him. It became an attack of kisses to your face and murmured "I love you"'s here and there, and your heart had never been so full in your life.

"Was it okay?" you croaked, giggling when Shawn's head snapped to look at you, his eyebrows practically knitted into his hairline.

"Was it okay?" he imitated, "Jesus Christ, babe, I can't even, I don't, I," he struggled to find the right words, "I can't even describe it. It was fucking incredible."

"Mmgood," you hummed with satisfaction, puckering your lips beneath him in search of a kiss.

_________________________

You awoke to an empty bed, disturbed by the lack of heat wrapping around your body that you'd grown used to. The bedroom door was closed and you could make out muffled piano notes coming from the hall, and you weren't sure if you should leave him be or attach yourself to him.

Your curious gene prevailed.

Wrapped in one of the throw blankets from Shawn's bed, you padded your way into the hall, admiring the way Shawn's back muscles shifted as he played the instrument. He was very shirtless, only mildly illuminated by the glow of the city lights below you.

"Playing in the dark?" you questioned softly, sliding onto the piano bench beside him.

He turned to you with a big smile that reached his tired eyes. All he could do was nuzzle your head with his, tickling your skin with his awry curls. He didn't speak for a while.

"Funny that I'm about to tour for this album," he said, gently playing the chords to In My Blood, "when I've written a whole other one about you."

Your eyes snapped up.

"You what?"

"Come on," he said, working the pedal with his right foot as you rested your head on his bare shoulder, "I'm a musician. And you're," he inhaled, "well, you're you. How could I not?"

You smiled faintly, wrapping your short arms around his bicep, causing him to stop playing. You just wanted to be.

"I know you hate talking about this," he started, tipping his head against your own, "but I've gotta leave soon. And it sucks. This is my job, and this is the whole reason we didn't want to start this in the first place. But remember, baby. You made me fall in love with you."

"Sorry," you giggled, remembering your drunken confessions to each other over Christmas.

"And I'm so fucking happy you did," he chuckled, "I'm gonna leave soon. But then," his voice cracked a little. You hugged him tighter, "then I'm gonna come back."

"I'll be here," you nodded quietly, stroking his soft skin beneath the thick blanket.

Shawn fell silent for a moment again.

"Stay there," he hummed, peeling your body from his as he stood from the bench and disappeared into his bedroom. You turned around in your spot, crossing your legs as you curled up a little. He was back in a few seconds, both hands behind his back and tripping over his own bare feet.

"I love you," he spoke as he leaned down and kissed your forehead sloppily, eventually sinking to kneel in front of you. Half-kneel. On one fucking knee.

"This isn't what you think it is, so don't worry," he giggled, chocolate eyes meeting yours in the barely-there light. "It's a nine month tour, and it's gonna be so fucking good. But it's also gonna fucking suck. But I wrote you an album. And I'm gonna write you another. And another. And then, once all of this is over, I'm gonna come back. And we can do all of this again, if that's what you want," he paused, his right hand sneaking out from behind him to open up a tiny felt box, revealing the daintiest of diamond rings.

"Promise me," he whispered, "promise me you'll still be here."

Tears were pooling in your eyes as you nodded, caressing his cheek as you spoke, "I promise."

He was kissing you in an instant, knocking you off the bench and pulling you onto the floor with him, both of you wrapped up in the massive blanket. Shawn located your left hand, picking the jewelry from the box and slipping it onto your fourth finger, placing a gentle kiss to the tiny diamond.

"I hope you know you're never getting rid of me," you giggled as his lips attacked your face once again, the hardwood floor cold on your bare calves, "you're gonna be stuck with me forever."

"Forever ever," Shawn hummed, and nothing had sounded better in your entire goddamn life.