After Lucas had dropped me back at the coffee shop, I walked to the bus stand to catch a bus home. I had bought a car recently, and it was yet to come so for now, it's just bus transport for me. 

When I sat down, my hastily made decision suddenly hit me and I started panicking! What was I thinking? I don't even know the guy, for all I know he might've lied to me, and here I am having stupidly agreed to share a god damned house with a stranger! Now that is so messed up. What will I tell my mom? What will my friends think of me, that I just lousily accept any cute guys invitation, not to a party, but to bloody live together! I am such an idiot to make such a damned decision, I thought this would be a proud moment of confidence and risk-taking, but it's none of those things, it is just humiliating, dumb and at too high of a cost. 

I reached home sweating. Kicking off my shoes and hanging my coat, I went into the bathroom and felt the cool water heat against my anger, it wasn't relaxing it was just infuriating, how could I? But if I went on like this beating myself over a life-changing decision I didn't give an ounce of thought to, I would get nowhere, so, I decided to duce it with the four glasses of ice-cold lemonade and myself. 

"Hey darling, looks like you went house hunting today, how was it?", I heard my mom asking from the hallway. "it was fine," I said, hoping she wouldn't ask anything else and just be glad that I was gonna be gone soon, shit, I need to tell her that I was going. "You don't sound convincing, come outside and let's have a chat", I sighed, "I'm good, mom, thanks." I said, "I wasn't really giving you an option there darling, come on out now." I groaned and walked out to sit on the couch with my mom, "Tell me, where did you go to search?" she asked, should I lie? No, I have too much regret to take at the moment and have no intention to add more...hopefully. "Pittita," I said, "wow, where are you gonna get the money from, don't expect anything from dad and I, giving life to you was a life cost itself", she said and shook her head, "really supportive mom!", I said. "You found a place?", she asked, was she always this nosey? or am I just bothered about it now? "I did." I said, rather come clean than sit and mourn. "hah, you must really have been in the mood today to make such a massive decision without even calling your parents once," she huffed, clearly not happy, great! I really wanna know what she is gonna say when I tell her I am not going to be living alone. "I am eighteen, I wanted to make this decision by myself, so I did", and a little bit of an overestimation of myself, the voice at the back of my head added. "Great! do you have any pictures? how are you gonna pay for it?", gosh, she doesn't seem to just let it go like I had hoped she would, of course, she would go all mommy over the house, she practically lived for a kitchen like that! "Yeah," I said and showed her the pics she ooo-ed and ahh-ed and hung her jaw down a few times, "can I um li-", "Nope, you may not live with me, that's the whole point of me moving", saying that made me feel a little better. "And I am not paying for it fully." "what do you mean?", she raised her eyebrows, confused. "I am, um, sharing it with someone," I said, she turned her head to frown at me, "who?",  "Lucas", I said, and here comes the storm! "who is he, I don't remember seeing him, and why are you living with a guy? are you in a relationship? what religion is this Lucas? How old is he? Does he drink or smoke? How long have you known him? Are his-", she began, "Mom- Lucas is 20, I met him while house hunting, we both liked the house so he suggested that we live together, and I agreed. He said he doesn't drink or smoke, and I don't really care about religion, I am an atheist, you know that!", I flooded out, I am surprised she even listened to that fully- "ARE YOU MAD TINALITA KENLY? You defamed the family name," "not that it had any", I mumbled "WHAT DID YOU SAY? OUR FAMILY IS VERY VERY RESPECTABLE, FAMOUS FOR THINKING BEFORE ACTING, WE WERE APPROACHED TO FOR ADVICE, AND HERE MY VERY OWN DAUGHTER HAS NO SENSE IN HER!", "Mom-", I pleaded, but I knew it was coming, " Don't you dare mom me right now! I love you too much to kick you out right away, dad will not be happy, we gave up so much for you and here is what you do, go buy a fancy Pittita house to lose your virginity to a stranger", "Mom-" "He is probably gonna have drunk guys and strippers over, how could you be so effing reckless!?", "He is not-", "Oh my god, I can't believe you were gonna defend a stranger you meant not even an hour ago, go on now, tell me you already lost it, tell me you already settled the payment for the house", "I did", I said, "unbelievable! I raised you to think logically to analyse each situation before acting upon it, and here is what my upbringing has shed off to, you disappointed me!", this hurt me, I was always the proud factor for my parents, good grades, decent dressing, respectful, obedient, didn't get wasted or have much fun, just stayed home sucked up in a novel because I wasn't allowed anything else. And here I am, thinking I was going to successfully be able to make a decision so big without messing up, I just stared at my mom my eyes moist.
"You know what Tinalita, no dinner for you, you stay in your room and reflect upon your actions, there is no changing it, it's way too much work, but don't ever make the mistake again! I am so very disappointed in you!", "Mom- please, I haven't had anything since morning", "Oh, what? no fancy lunches with random strangers, or did losing it make you tired and hungry?", now she has crossed the line- "MOM! I haven't lost it yet, my virginity is still pure and intact so stay shut about it!", "the word yet clearly states your intentions", she huffed so sure of what she was saying.  "you are unbelievable, here I thought you'd support me and tell me that we all make such decision out of pressure and emotion, but I was wrong, you were too stuck up in thinking I was perfect and that I'd always be the way you wanted me to be, but guess what mom? I am done with it, I am done with you telling me what to do and what not to do, I am done with you having to know about everything that happens in my social life if you even want to call it that as I am mocked because I literally have you stalking me everywhere I go! Two hours ago, I didn't want to move away from you and dad, but now, I am really glad that I made the choice of moving away and living with a twenty-year-old stranger, Lucas, in a fancy Pittita house I know you are jealous of!", I yelled and stormed away into my room slamming the door at my mom's face who had her jaw hanging to the floor. 

I lay down on my bed and sobbed a quiet sob, I had never spoken to my mom like that before, but at this point, I didn't care, she said I disappointed her, but she disappointed me as well. I won't blame her for reacting the way she did, but thinking I would do such a thing was way out of line. I don't regret saying the things I said to her, it felt like it was coming, sooner now than later. I wiped away my tear and went and sat by the window, my calming spot with scented candles and flowers. 

I took out my phone and did something I never had done before, I took a selfie with the petals and posted it on Instagram captioning it: Did you know you could feel freedom?  I don't know why I chose that as the caption, it just felt apt. I was never allowed to post my photo's on Instagram, just book reviews and photos of animals/plants/nature. I had just placed my phone down when I got a ping sound, a text. I thought it would be Lisa, my friend, but it was from an unsaved number, I clicked it open 
Hey, it's Lucas, I got your number from the forms we filled today, sorry if this creeps you out. 
I smiled, I don't know why I didn't think of that, another stupid thing from my side. 
L: So, how are you? a little less stressed?
T: Nah, I just got mega yelled at by my mom
L: You told her?
T: You didn't? 
L: I am waiting for dinner, it is our argument time lol
T: At least you have that
L: What do you mean?
T: I was denied dinner by my mom 
L: Wow, your conversation must've been bad
T: Thanks for the help, you were really supportive of me not getting dinner
L: Are you hungry?
T: Yeah
L: Wanna grab something to eat? I could tell my parents later on in the night or in the morning. 
T: I can't. I am under room arrest. 
L: Haven't you ever sneaked out?
T: You are talking to Ms Mommys pet and good shoes, so No! 
L: I'll help you sneak out
T: How?
L: Send me your address
T: Ok

This was so not the Tina I knew myself to be, but I don't care, I really need this. I send Lucas my address and wait for him to come and tell me how to get out of this boring ass house.