Chapter Thirteen

            I have had no contact with my family for a while now and while it feels absolutely amazing, I know that it cannot go on this way forever.  My heart soars when I hear Jackson’s voice but I know that being with him is going to cost me dearly.  I have told my brothers to back off until these three weeks are up and I wait every day for the day they decide that they have waited long enough. 

            It does not surprise me that today is the day Ben decides to regain control.  After getting ready this morning, Jackson and I get into my car to head to lunch.  While driving to our little café, my phone rings through the speakers of my car.  I quickly put a finger to my lips to tell Jackson to remain silent and then answer the call with my Bluetooth device.  Ben’s voice is loud and commanding and I roll my eyes when he asks how I am doing.  Jackson notices and gives me an exaggerated curious look so I mouth the words big brother to him and he nods in understanding. 

            “Ben, I am busy.  What do you want?”  I ask and Jackson turns his head to look out the window giving me a little privacy. 

            “Madeline, I am sorry about lunch the other day.  I was really stressed and I hate to hear anything about you that is not favorable.  I was a little spun up and the way I handled it was probably not the best.”

            “I need you to back off, Ben.  I am perfectly capable of making my own choices.  I am an adult—not a little girl anymore and I wish you would respect that and stop trying to force things on me.”  I can feel my frustration with him boiling just under my skin.  I want this call over fast but I need Jackson to understand what we are up against if we stay together. 

            “You may be an adult, but you will always be my little sister.  I hardly think that I am forcing Greg on you.  Why don’t we wait to see how you feel about it once he gets home.  I think the little talk he and I had will change things for the two of you.  Dad is expecting you to accompany Greg to the office Christmas party; it will make him so happy to see you on Greg’s arm.”

            I can feel it happen, the moment I feel broken.  My shoulders slouch and I turn my head slightly so Jackson can’t see my face. “Ben, I am not going to the Christmas party with Greg.  I’m not in love with him and dragging this thing out is just causing both of us pain.”

            “Don’t be ridiculous, Madeline,” the command in Ben’s voice intensifies and I can almost feel the wave of air hit my face when Jackson snaps his head around to make eye contact with me.  His eyes are pleading with me to stick up for myself, but I know better than to fight a battle that I can’t win.  “You are going to continue to drag our family name through the mud, running around like some cheap girl with—“

            “Watch your fucking mouth,” Jackson hisses, “speak to her like that again and I will make sure you can’t speak for weeks.”

            I reach out to end the call but Jackson’s hand grips my wrists and he shakes his head no.  His hand slides down to take mine and I wait for Ben to attack. “Madeline, am I on fucking speaker phone?  Will you never learn to keep your personal life personal?  This is between you and me.”

            Jackson shifts forward in his seat.  “It was between you and Maddy until you crossed the line.”

            “Her name is Madeline, but I wouldn’t expect you to know that or care.  I have heard of your reputation; just walk away from my sister and let her be with a man that deserves her. You’ve had your fun.”

            Jackson chuckles, “Are you always such an ass?  You don’t tell me what to call her and you don’t tell her whom to date.  My reputation is not a secret; it is my past.  Your sister is my future. “  I know my hand is shaking in his now but he doesn’t let it go.  I just watch him as he watches me. 

            “The fuck it is!  You think we would just sit back and let you use her and then break her heart?  You might be able to kick my ass, but there are two more of us that will fight for her honor.  You want to take us all on?  Don’t be stupid.”  Embarrassment doesn’t even begin to explain how horrible I feel right now. 

            “No, I don’t want to take you all on.  I want to be with your sister.  If that means that I have to go through all of you, I will.  Let’s just get one thing clear first: no one needs to fight for her honor, her honor has never been at stake.  I’m not stupid; I know how special your sister is.  You want to get together to discuss this in person I am happy to meet up.  I’m ending this call because I don’t have a lot of time left with Maddy and frankly you are wasting it with this chauvinistic bullshit.”  With that, Jackson reaches across to click the Bluetooth off and squeezes my hand. 

            “Jackson, I’m sorry.” 

            “Rookie, he is just looking out for you and I can respect that—but I won’t respect him if he doesn’t respect you.  He talks to you like that again and I am going to teach him some manners.”  I squeeze his hand back and nod my head.

            “If we do this—if we are together, my family won’t support it.  I need you to know that they won’t make it easy for you.  I wish it were different but it’s not.”

            “Maddy, they don’t intimidate me.  I am willing to fight in whatever way they want to challenge me.  Words or fists, you are mine and they can’t change that.”  Jackson brings my hand to his mouth so he can brush a kiss across my knuckles.

            After lunch we head down to the beach.  I haven’t been here in a long time and it feels good to breathe in the salty air and feel the warm sand beneath my feet.  We take our shoes off and leave them by the wall that separates the sand from the strand and make our way down to where the ocean laps at the shore.  When it is just the two of us it feels so perfect.  He holds my hand as we walk along the shoreline and talk about our families. 

            Jackson’s mother has never remarried.  She decided when Jackson and his sister Ellie were young that she didn’t want to spend the time dating and building a relationship with someone new when her short time with Jackson’s father had been so wonderful.  Jackson tells me that he only remembers a little about his father before he died and then he asks me about my mother.

            “She was a good mother from what I remember.  She died when I was ten from cancer and my father never remarried either.  My mother didn’t work, but she volunteered her time to many different organizations.  She had always dreamed of starting a charity for single mothers in need, but had only begun organizing it when she was diagnosed.  I remember her bringing the women groceries and helping them get medical attention.”

            “Wow, sounds like a great role model.  You are lucky you remember so much about what she stood for.”  Jackson squeezes my hand and I can feel the heat climb up my arm and warm my heart. 

            “I wish I remembered more.  I wish I knew what she wanted for me and of course I want to know why she made the choices she made in her life.”

            “What do you mean?  What choices do you not understand?”  I don’t usually talk about my mother this candidly but I know that I can trust him.

            “I recently found out that my mother had a boyfriend before my father that she loved.  They dated for about six months and then I don’t know what happened.  I know she married my father and that her family didn’t accept the other guy, John.  I just don’t know what ended the relationship.  My aunt doesn’t want me to talk about it around my dad and I get the feeling my brothers don’t know about it either.”

            “I guess I would be curious about that too.  How did you find out about her and John?”  We have stopped now and are sitting down on the top of a sand hill watching the surfers catch waves in the distance. 

            “My aunt, her sister, told me.  I know it doesn’t seem like a big deal but it is important to me.  My aunt and I have a shaky relationship.  She is the closest thing I have to a mother but there is some tension between her and my dad, which has really stunted the closeness I feel to her.  I just don’t think I could ask her about it.”

            “Maybe things are better left in the past, Maddy.  If it is important enough it will come out one day.”  I want to believe that is true, that one day I will have all the answers and gain a larger picture of who my mother was.  I can’t help but to feel like she and I are more alike than I ever knew.  She loved and was loved by someone other than my father.  She took a chance and loved someone her family would never approve of.  If she could do it then so could I.  I am just left guessing why it ended and so I have to believe he must have called it off because feeling the way I do now about Jackson, I can’t imagine ever having enough.

            We are meeting up with Abby and Kyle for an early dinner and a few cocktails so we brush the sand off and head up to the wall to retrieve our shoes.  I hold Jackson’s hand as we walk along the strand now and for the first time I feel like we are truly a couple.  Our conversation drifts to Abby and Kyle. 

            “Kyle is a fun guy,” Jackson says, “We have been hanging out a lot when you girls are busy and I think he really is in love with Abby.  If she decides to let him go, he is going to be crushed.  The other night he text me that she was so sad and he had no idea what he was saying that was so wrong.” 

            “She wants him to listen to her and make the choice together.  I think she will be devastated if their story ends here.”  We stop at the entrance of the restaurant that overlooks the strand.  Jackson wraps his arm around my shoulder and I love the way it feels to be claimed by him.  The giddy feeling quickly comes to a stop when Tina, the bubbly cheerleader, appears at the entrance of the restaurant as the hostess.  Great, just what I need.  I wait for Jackson to back off but he doesn’t, keeping his arm around me, even as I try to put some space between us.  When she turns to show us to our table, Jackson whispers in my ear, “No running, Rookie.”

            Tina shows us to our table with a toss of the menus and then smirks as she tells us to enjoy our meal.  She is pretty intense for her and Jackson not ever being serious.  I am about to ask a few questions but Abby and Kyle are making their way to our table and I wave at them as they get close.  They seem good tonight.  Abby nuzzles up against him as they share a menu and we even laugh when we talk about our day. 

            The conversation between Kyle and Jackson makes me laugh; the two men could not be any more different.  Kyle loves computers and spends all of his time indoors programming and Jackson loves sports and spends his time outdoors.  It doesn’t seem to matter and Abby and I start a quiet conversation as they fall into a friendly chit-chat that makes them appear to have been friends for years.  On the outside we look like two couples that are in love, sharing a fun night together.  On the inside we are four young adults, struggling to find our place in life and with each other.

            After dinner, Jackson and Kyle head to the bathroom leaving Abby and me alone.  “We haven’t talked about the whole thing in days, Madeline.  It is as if we are in denial now.  I talked to my mom and she gave me the guilt trip about what it would look like if I moved to another state to cohabitate with a boyfriend.  I swear she and my grandmother still live in the fifties.”  I laugh but totally understand what it feels like to have a family that can’t keep up with the times when it comes to a woman’s virtues. 

            Kyle makes his way back to the table so I excuse myself to use the restroom also.  When I round the corner to the restroom entrance, it is across from the kitchen and I see Jackson leaning on a wall talking to Tina.  My stomach rolls and I quickly duck into the bathroom so that neither of them can see me.  I take my time and try to tell myself that it is nothing, the Jackson I love is different with me but I can still hear Ben and Greg in my head.  I hope I am making the right choice but can’t help but to have doubts when the evidence is charging in my direction.

            When I leave the bathroom, they are gone.  I make my way back to the table and decide I need to keep my mouth shut and just trust him to be the man I want him to be.  We pay our bill and say goodbye at the door.  Jackson and I walk back to my car as the sun begins to set over the water.  It is in the last few minutes of daylight that Jackson enters my apartment and we make our way to my room.  Jackson empties his pockets onto my dresser and heads back to the kitchen for a bottle of water. 

            I lie down on my bed, trying hard to ignore his phone as it buzzes on the dresser—flashing a message from Tina. 

************ONLY 5 MORE CHAPTERS AND IT DOES NOT END WITH A CLIFFHANGER :)   PLEASE REMEMBER TO VOTE FOR CHAPTER 1 SO I HAVE A CHANCE AT GETTING THIS PUBLISHED WITH HARLEQUIN.  FIND ME ON TWITTER AND PINTEREST @SARAHWHITEWRITE.  HOPE YOU ARE ENJOYING THE STORY AND I PROMISE I WON'T LEAVE YOU HANGING FOR LONG!!!!*******************************