*****This is for a mature audience.  If you are over 18 please enjoy!

Chapter Ten

            I muster the courage to call Greg after sleeping off the emotional hangover I had from spending time with my controlling brothers.  We need to talk about my behavior and his expectations.  I am going into this phone call unsure of what I want and hoping he still can give me time even though I have clearly been tearing his heart out.

            “Hey, Sweetheart.  It is so good to see your name on my phone.”  He is encouraging as always and the guilt I have already is growing with each kind word.

            “Hi, Greg.  Sorry I didn’t call you back last night.  I had a rough lunch with my brothers and then I feel asleep.  I know we need to talk.  How are you?”  I genuinely care how he is doing.  I would love nothing more than to feel a passion for him because he warms every other part of my soul.  If I could find the passion with him that I have with Jackson, I would give in to our future together. 

            “I guess I am doing as well as could be expected, Madeline.  Ben called me last night and we had the most awkward conversation about our relationship boundaries.  I guess he was giving me a fighting chance, but I told him I am not sure I would be coming home to our relationship.  From what I hear, Madeline, you have been spending some time with Jackson.”  I wonder for a minute how he could possibly know Jackson’s name, but then remember that Greg is well connected on campus. 

            “Yes, we have been spending time together, Greg.  I’m so sorry if that hurts you.   I didn’t realize until yesterday that I have been being selfish in not paying attention to what information you would have to hear.  I can’t tell you how sorry I am about that. “  It is the truth, I am sorry that he has had to hear stories about Jackson and me through other people.   I dream of the day that my every move isn’t reported to anyone. 

            “Madeline, be careful with him.  You have to have heard his reputation with women.  Don’t allow yourself to become one of them.  I don’t want to know the details—I think at this point they would kill me.  I knew you would be out having fun and being young for once in your life, but I just never thought you would explore this aspect so quickly.  I hope you are thinking of me as often as you are thinking of him and that you are considering what each of us would mean for your future.  I love you, Madeline; to me you would never be a notch on my bedpost. “

            I know what they say about Jackson; Abby and Kyle have filled me in.  He is the kind of guy that doesn’t do commitment.  Right now, that kind of guy sounds pretty safe.  No love, no marriage, no house on a hill with a white picket fence, and no need to sacrifice who I am to become a part of his life. 

            “I have been thinking a lot about this, Madeline.  I can’t sleep so I have nothing but time to lay awake at night and wonder what you are doing and who you are with.  He is going to mess it up—it is not an if, it is a when.  I just don’t know how I feel about that.  Part of me is glad it is going to happen and I feel secure knowing that he won’t fight for you because he fights for no one.  The other part of me is angry and hurt.  I know he will use you and then leave you heartbroken.  I don’t want that for you, but it brings me relief to know that even if you let him into your heart he won’t stay.  He never does.”

            “Greg, I don’t know what I’m supposed to say.  I’m sorry that hearing about us as hurt you, but I am not sorry for what I have been doing.  I am finding out things about myself I never knew before.  I do know his reputation and maybe that is why he was the safest choice for these three weeks.  I am going to be here when you get back, Greg. Maybe there will be only pieces of my heart left but I will be more whole as a person.  I need to know what all of this feels like, I want to know what I might be giving up so that years from now when you and I hit rough spots in our marriage I don’t want to run off and explore this part of them then—when there might be children involved.”

            “I hope that’s true, Madeline.  Just know that I will work every day to make sure you never regret being with me.  I should want someone who wants me, who loves me like I love her, but my heart and soul want you and there is no talking them out of it.  My only hope is that you will truly be mine when I get back.  I love you, Madeline.”  The shame of not being that woman hits me and I want to tell him he needs to let me go so he can find the woman who will love him like that.  I just don’t know yet where these three weeks will take me.  Maybe he is right: maybe Jackson is going to break my heart and I will be so grateful that Greg is back in my life.  These three weeks might open my eyes to the love that Greg and I could have. 

            “I love you too, Greg.  Good night.”  I wait for him to say it back and then we both hang up.  I want to call Ben and yell at him for getting involved again but I can’t bring myself to dial his number.  Instead I take a quick shower and throw on a light t-shirt and boy shorts so I can be comfy while I catch up on some reading for my English class.  I throw Jackson’s sweatshirt oven my head and cuddle down into the covers. 

            It takes me all day to read the book because my mind keeps wondering to Greg and Jackson.  I also wonder about my mother and John.  I have no idea what all of it means but the time spent thinking about it all costs me dearly and before I know it I find myself starving and sore from reading in bed.  I brush my teeth and run a brush through my now dry hair with the plans to go out and find Abby and Kyle.  Maybe they will want to grab a quick bite before bed. 

            The living room is empty and I quickly find a note that Abby has left saying they are out to a late lunch and she will be staying over at Kyle’s apartment tonight.  I haven’t had a chance to talk to her yet about what she is going to do if Kyle takes the job in Florida.  I guess that is for the best because I don’t even know what my advice for her should be.  I open the fridge and gaze around trying to find something I could eat.  Like a beacon in the night, a piece of chocolate cake calls to me and at once I am grabbing a fork to dive in. 

            Three bites into the cake I hear a knock at the door.  Reluctantly putting down the heavenly cake, I make my way to the front door.  I find Jackson standing on my doorstep, one arm leaning on the door jam.  His eyes meet mine but then quickly travel down my body and then back up again.  He reaches up and grabs the cords for the hood of his sweatshirt I am wearing and pulls me close to him.  “Maddy, you shouldn’t answer the door like this.  The combination of those little shorts and this sweatshirt could kill a man.”  With one last tug he pulls me close enough to capture my mouth with his. 

            Backing up so that we can close the door, I grab his belt loops and pull him into the apartment.  In between kisses I whisper, “I missed you and this.”  Jackson chuckles and begins separating my shirt and his sweatshirt at the hems. 

            “Who’s here, Rookie?”  It takes a minute to process his question because all of the blood in my body is rushing to other areas and leaving my brain completely high and dry. “Maddy, are we alone?”  He sounds desperate and I nod my head yes.  “Thank God.  You taste like chocolate.”  I laugh and twist my head in the direction of the kitchen.  Jackson succeeds in separating the sweatshirt from my shirt underneath it and he pulls the sweatshirt over my head and lowers his head to suck on my neck.  “You want to finish that cake?” he asks and I shake my head no as I press my body against his. 

            Grabbing his shirt, I pull it up his body and he helps me to pull it over his head.  Jackson starts toeing off his shoes while guiding me down the hall.  Our hands are everywhere, touching and gripping, sliding down bare skin and smoothing over muscle and flesh.  My shirt is off before we make it to my room and I close and lock the door behind us as Jackson pushes me up against it.  He pulls down the cup of my bra exposing my breast and I run my hands through his hair pulling slightly to bring his head towards the newly uncovered skin. 

            Jackson follows my lead, stopping only for a second to adjust himself in his pants before grabbing my leg and wrapping it around his waist.  I can feel him against me, the friction warming every inch of my skin and causing a blush to break out across my chest and redden my cheeks.  The cold wood of the door can’t cool my body down as fast as Jackson is heating it up.  He unhooks my bra and throws it to the side before bending to taste the newly exposed skin.  This time when I reach down to feel him through his pants he lets out a deep sigh and then presses himself into my palm. 

            I have no idea what I am doing but I begin to rub and explore him through his pants.  I am holding my breath knowing he will stop me soon and hoping that he doesn’t.  Jackson is kissing me where my shoulder meets my neck and it is racing electricity through my body and causing an ache so deep I struggle to find some friction to release it with.  His hand meets my ache and he begins to rub against it, increasing the need for relief.  I unbutton his jeans and slowly glide the zipper down allowing him to be free from the tight restraint of his pants.  With my hand, I cup him and stroke up and down slowly listening as his breathing catches with my movement. 

            Jackson twists me around and with ease tosses me onto the bed behind us.  Sitting up on my elbows, I begin to climb up the bed towards the pillows.  Like a lion stalking its prey, Jackson climbs onto the bed and matches my retreat move for move.  When my head finds the pillows, Jackson is between my legs again and I rock my hips up to meet his warmth.  With my feet I encircle his waist and then slowly begin to slide his pants down.  Jackson watches me as I wiggle to take his pants off.  When they are down as far as my feet can take them, Jackson supports himself on either side of my face then reaches down to pull them off entirely. 

            Tucking his thumbs inside my boy shorts and underwear, Jackson pulls them with purpose, watching as they slide down my legs.  When I am free from my clothes he positions himself on top of me and rocks himself between my legs with a friction that throws fire on the ache with a promise of relief.  “I want to kiss you everywhere, Maddy.  Are you ready for that?”  His eyes pierce into mine and he waits for my decision.

            “Yes, I’m ready.  Please.”  His concern puts my mind at ease and I know that anything that happens here tonight is my decision.  His hot kisses travel down my neck and across my shoulder.  I am rocking against him and running my nails down his back.  As his head slips lower and lower, I tangle my fingers into his hair and help to guide him over my most sensitive parts.  The ache is almost painful as his lips kiss from hip to hip before lower to my core.  I can feel the moist heat from his mouth as his tongue lightly brushes the most sensitive area causing me to buck up against his mouth.  I am mad with need and begin to chant his name as his tongue circles and plunges in a rhythm that leaves me sweating with my heart racing.  His fingers trace over the back of my legs making their way up to my center.  All I can think about is how amazing this feels, how feminine I can be and how badly I want to make Jackson feel this good too. 

            When I feel like the feeling could not possibly build any higher, Jackson glides one finger into me and the stretching sensation shoots the tightening coil of desire into overdrive.  Jackson adds a second finger, twisting slightly to rub against my inside wall.  I am not going to be able to fight it much longer as his fingers stroke inside me and his tongue glides against me.  I relax my hips, letting my legs fall wide open. “That’s it, Maddy.  Let go.”  With his words my orgasm comes screaming though me and I writhe against his mouth and hand. 

            Jackson climbs back over me and kisses my neck softly.  I take in big gulps of air as I float back down from my high.  With one last kiss, Jackson climbs off me and sits at the edge of the bed breathing deeply.  I watch as he runs the palm of his hand across boxers, closing his eyes as he strokes himself.  If he felt anything like I did he has to be in agony.  I make my way around the bed and lean down to take his mouth with mine.  He moves his hands to the side of my face and I reach down to cup him once again.  “Maddy, you have to leave me alone for a minute to calm down.”  I hear him but ignore his words.

            Kissing my way down from his neck to his chest, I lick across his stomach and drop myself to my knees in front of him. When I look up into his eyes I see worry, but mostly need and hunger.  I grip the waistband of his boxers and he lifts his hips as I pull them down and free him.  With one last look down on me, Jackson gathers my hair and pulls down slightly so I am forced to look up at his. “Maddy, you don’t have to do this.  I will be fine, just give me some time to calm down.”  I shake my head no and swipe my tongue across his tip.  A groan escapes from his lips and I know how badly he needs this but is trying to refrain for me.

            With the next swipe of my tongue I take him into my mouth and feel as he pulses against my tongue.  His hands are in my hair but he isn’t pushing me to him or trying to control the rhythm I am setting.  “Fuck, Maddy, that feels amazing.”  I am not sure what will feel good for him but I have heard a lot of girls talking about this before and I try to remember what they have said works for them.  Instinctively my hand grips him and he hisses with the pleasure that brings.  “It’s not going to be long, Maddy, it feels too good.”  I smile against him and work faster as his hips pump up to meet my pace.  When his hand grips my hair tighter, I can tell his release will not be far behind.  I am right, with a sigh of my name it is over. 

            When I move to stand up, Jackson grabs my arms and slides me up against his body then pulls me down on top of him.  His breathing is heavy and my face is still flushed as we lay there in the best silence, feeling every tingle on our skin where our bodies have connected.  “I am not sure where you learned to do that but if you give me their names I would personally thank them.”  I laugh and he wraps his arms around me. 

            “I would say the same about your amazing ability, but if you gave me names I would scratch their eyes out.”  We laugh again and Jackson traces long strokes on my back with his fingertips.  It is quiet again as I melt into his chest and focus on the tingle from his fingertips against my sensitive skin.

            “I’m falling for you, Rookie.  Don’t break my heart.” Jackson whispers and all I can do is kiss his lips gently because I know I am falling too, but I don’t make promises I can’t keep.  

**********Please remember to vote for Chapter One of Rookie in Love so I have a chance at getting this story published with Harlequin.  I love all of your comments and votes. Don't forget to find me on Pinterest so I can see what you picture when you read this!!  Hope you loved it!!!!!!