Narrator (Ava):
The finale of this play begins now,
So tighten your seatbelts, our lovely sister and brothers,
For Romeo arrived in Verona that night, feeling hollow —
Fearing to see his lovely flower, that now withers.
As fate would have upon a chance,
Paris arrived not so late as well,
Wishing to have had with Juliet one little dance;
Thinking of it made his heart swell.

Paris: Hey, you! You’re Romeo — the banished one! Are you here to commit acts of dishonor to the corpse of my beautiful Juliet?

Romeo (Hyunjin): (angered) Your Juliet? How dare you? She was mine!

Paris: Excuse me? I was going to get married to her this morning!

Romeo (Hyunjin): Joke’s on you, I already married her!

Paris: (drawing his sword) Liar!

Romeo (Hyunjin): (drawing his sword) Pants on fire!

[Paris and Romeo engage in a sword fight, and Romeo kills Paris easily]

Romeo (Hyunjin): …fuck bro, why do I accidentally keep killing people?

[Paris’ servant sees the murder and exits to call for help]

Paris: (panting) Listen to my last wish, Montague! Bury me beside Juliet.

Romeo (Hyunjin): Um, no, not on my watch.

[Romeo carried Paris’ body into the tomb and places it in some random corner. He sees Juliet lying, and cries]

Romeo (Hyunjin): With you, I shall die, too.

[Romeo kisses her, and then tries to drink poison through his vial. However, he accidentally trips over her leg, falling over and passing out]
[Enter Friar Lawrence]

Friar Lawrence (Jay): There’s been so much drama, I don’t even remember being high- Fuck! Is he dead, too?

[Juliet wakes up]

Juliet (Jisung): (sings) Baby, baby, baby ooooh!

Friar Lawrence (Jay): Oh, holy moly! Did I give her weed, too?

Juliet (Jisung): Where’s my loverboy?

Friar Lawrence (Jay): Good question, actually. So hear me out-

[Juliet sees Romeo unconscious]

Juliet (Jisung): Is he…?

Friar Lawrence (Jay): Dead.

Juliet (Jisung): And I oop-

[Romeo stirs and gains consciousness]

Friar Lawrence (Jay): (screams) Ghost! Ghost! Am I still high!

Romeo (Hyunjin): Whaddaya mean, bro? I literally tripped and fainted.

Juliet (Jisung): (laughs candidly) Typical clumsy Romeo.

[They hear the commotion outside]

Friar Lawrence (Jay): Okay, so listen. The final plan is that I lie to them that the two of you died, and you two flee to Mantua.

Romeo (Hyunjin): I literally love you, Father!

Juliet (Jisung): He means that he’s gay for you, daddy.

Friar Lawrence (Jay): Disgusting.

[Exit Friar Lawrence]

Juliet (Jisung): I love you, sweets!

Romeo (Hyunjin): I love you, too!

Narrator (Ava):
And the Friar lured the two houses with a crafted story,
Sorrow arose along with the rising sun;
The Montagues and Capulets were deeply sorry,
To each other, and their daughter and their son.
What about the two young love birds? 
What happened to them from this point on?
Romeo, he brought up sheeps in heards;
Juliet, she cooked for him at every single dawn.
This is a happy ending, as we all intended,
Even though like water, all the troubles floated;
But all’s well that ends well, we pretended,
And bringing about a change in what Shakespeare quoted,
“For never was a story of lesser woe,
Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.”

~le fin~

(a/n: i hope y'all enjoyed this hehe!)