Julia

I'm here...

His voice... it feels like I'm standing at the edge of a river, the water flows so fast, it pulls everything into it.

I'm here...

The water seems to be talking... talking in his voice. The voice which is like a lullaby, like a drug.

And I'm under its spell.

His voice engulfs me. It's pulls me to its self. It embraces me and makes a silent promise of never letting go, of keeping me safe, of keeping me with him.

And so I drown in it.

I jump into the raging water.

It crashes above me, pulls me under, doesn't let me come up.

I don't want to.

I'm here...

The voice pulls me lower... lower... lower...

So low that I'm at the very bottom. and that bottom isn't a rocky grave. Its a bed of roses. A bed so soft that I can't help but lay down. Rest my head, and listen.

Listen and listen all day to the enchantment..

I'm here...

I'm here...

I'm here...

"I'm here" says someone behind me. And the sudden change of voice makes me flinch. The water begins to evaporate above me.

"Sorry, they said I had to leave." Says the voice again.

The water vanishes. And turns out, I cant breathe. I need to breathe. I need my water back.

My water!

I need the water!

Water!

Water!

"Water..." I call it back. I cant.

"Julia??" Calls the female voice from my right.

Who? I try to look at her— who ever she is— but the moment I open my eyes, I'm blinded.

"Ack!" A sound escapes my mouth and I turn my head away from the blinding light. Suddenly, a sharp pain shoots through my head and a scream sounds in the room.

"Careful!" Says the female. 

A girl... says my consciousness. A girl I know.

"Careful Julia." She says again, and I feel a very light hand rest on my forehead.

I groan. My forehead aches under her touch. I try to look at her, but am blinded once again.

"The light. " I try to tell her, but it comes out incoherent, as my throat is parched and my tongue is desert dry.

"Water." I tell her, gulping as a try to get some saliva out to wet my tongue, but it doesn't happen. "Water." I repeat.

"Water. Right. Right." The girl mumbles to herself and then I hear a door closing.

Door?

I wasn't at a place with doors. I was at...

Where?

I can't remember. It's all blurred.

All I can remember prior to the river— the dream— is alcoholic breath, burning and being pulled... pulled to where?

To a dance floor... says a voice in my head.

No... I realise. Away from it.

I was being pulled away from... from... Ethan!! From McKay! By...? By Ryan.

My Ryan...

Where's Ryan?

I open my eyes again too look for him. This time, squinting does the trick and I can see.

The light seems to be coming from a lamp, beside an odd looking couch. There's separations, the kind they use in hospitals. There's a beeping noise too. And it's coming from...

I'm at a hospital... I realise.

Why??

I almost sit up abruptly, held mid action by the severe pain which suddenly shoots in my head. I'm injured...

I've been hit! By who—

The door opens and and the girl comes in.

Sophie Hunt... my brain registers her. My boyfriend's sister... Sophia...

"Here." She sits down by me on some chair I didn't notice before as im still laying. She puts a glass besides my face and lowers a bendy straw into my mouth.

I drink from it.

And then nearly spit it out.

It tastes like filth!! I want to yell. Probably because I have bad breath. My mouth tastes like... like... like something filthy and rotsome.

Ugh!!

Still, I drink to comfort my thirst. And then try to turn my head away from the straw. But the pain shoots again and so I raise an hand to push the glass.

Sophie understands the gesture.

"How are you feeling now?" She asks, pulling away the straw. Oh how I wish it was Ryan who was asking that.

I gulp once to remove the fowl taste from the back of my mouth

Bad... I want to reply to her. It's always bad without Ryan. But I don't.

"Okay." I tell her, mentally adding a nod. "Ryan?"

From the corner of my eye, I see her bite her lip.

Bad news... my consciousness registers.

"He's..." Sophie says, but doesn't complete the sentence, looking around as if looking for some one to give her a hint about what to say.

"Ryan?" I ask her again. This time, turning my head no matter how much the pain is. Tears well up in my eyes trying to do that, but I don't care.

Suddenly, the door opens again, and he enters.

The man I hate the most. The man who did all this.

Its his fault... I mentally hiss, closing my eyes, because the pain is too much.

"Its okay," Father tells Sophie, his voice low. "Im here now."

"Go.." I groan. But it comes out incoherent.

I hear the door close and then the chair being pulled back. I open my eyes to confirm that he's sitting far away from me, but black spots dance around my vision and I whimper.

"Does it hurt, dear?" He asks, and I feel another, heavy hand rest on my shoulder.

"Nnggg" I turn my head away, nearly screaming out loud at the movement again.

Unbearable... it's unbearable...

"Julia?" My father removes his hand.

The concern in his voice is the last thing I register before a thick black blanket spreads over me and I'm engulfed in it.

Sleep child... sleep child... sleep and dream... with a smile...

The enchanting voice echos in my head. In the dark, I turn my head to the voice.

Sleep child... and let me try... To make more happy days come by...

I feel a hand gripping my right one, lightly patting it, as if lulling a child to sleep.

A lullaby..

The woman is singing a lullaby. And her voice is so beautiful that I feel like I'm floating.

Floating towards it. Away from the dark. From everything which is bad.

Dream of many loins prance ... and dream of what the fairies say... dream of jolly flowers dance... and dream of many happy days...

I drift further and further away under the spell, closer and closer to the voice.

Who's voice? I try to think. But I can't place it.

Sleep child... sleep child...

The woman continues and try to open an eyes to see who she is.

The room glows under a very dim golden light.

Like the break of dawn.. says a voice in my head.

Yes.. I agree with it.

"Sleep child... sleep child.." the woman continues to sing from my right.

From the corner of my eye, I see her.

Anna Hunt.

She's not looking at me. Her gaze seems distant. So far away that she isn't even present in this room. Her hand unconsciously pats mine and she continues to sing the lullaby all over again.

Sorrow... I realise.

She's sorrowful. And that doesn't suit her. Her beautiful face, which glows under the golden light, is made only to smile. Only to be happy.

But she continues to be sorrowful.

That breaks my heart.

Gently, I squeeze her hand and suddenly,  the singing stops.

"Julia." She looks up at me, and stands up so that she can see me clearly.

I open my eyes full to look at her,  motherly love adorning her face.

Her hand leaves mine and gently touches my cheek as if I'm something so fragile I'll break at touch.

Like Ryan...

Tears well up my eyes.

"Julia." She says, concerned now, her smile suddenly drops as a tear slips from my eye down to my temple.

"Anna." I raise my limp hand. It doesn't go much high. 

She caresses my cheek and wipes away the tear.

Like Ryan would've done... I think again.

"Ryan." I ask Anna. Where's Ryan.

She bites her lip. I see it on her face. The sorrow refilling her eyes and her eyebrows pulling together.

Bad news..

I know it.

"Ryan?" I ask her again, trying to lift my hand but it doesn't happen. My hand feels like it's concrete.

"Oh Jules.." her eyes well up and she pulls back, turning her face away from me and then..

She sobs.

Quietly, slightly shaking, covering her face with a hand, she sobs. And I watch her from the corner of my eye because I cant turn my head because it hurts.

He's not okay... I realise.  My Ryan is not okay. Why? What happened? What happened after I fell unconscious?

"Ryan?" I ask for him again, hoping Anna will tell me something— anything about what happened. But she only wipes her tears away on the sleeve of her cardigan, and turns back to face me after taking a deep breath.

"I'm so sorry." She says, once again leaning over me, her eyes still wet.

"Ryan?" I ask her.

She closes her eyes and opens her mouth to say—

"Anna?" The door of the room suddenly opens and a deep male voice causes Anna to turn her head.

"Can you..." it's Mr. Hunt. Ryan's father. I try to turn my head and look at him but my eyes well up at the pain the effort causes.

Anna turns back to me, her eyes scared now.

Scared of what? I think to her. There's something she wants to say, something she wants me to know. But she cant say it now.

Very slowly, she leans in and kisses my cheek. And then turns around and leave.

I watch from the corner of my eye as she closes the door behind her, thinking why would she kiss me like that?

Not because she's a stranger, no. But because I know what that kiss means.

I'll always be here...

"I'm sorry." She says to someone right before the door closes and then opens again.

From the corner of my eye, I see a figure approach and the blood in my veins begins to boil.

As he closes in, I see him clearer. His eyes are blank, deep shadows framing them. His hair are a dirty mess and his shirt isn't buttoned properly. One side of his colar is standing and it seems that he hasn't shaved in days.

"My dear." Says my father.

And the words sound like they're venom dripping into my ears. I don't care what ever he's been doing. He's the reason I couldn't even turn my head to look at Anna. He's the reason everything has happened to me. He's the reason my life has been miserable and

I've had it...

"Ryan." I ask him. There's nothing more I want to talk to him about.

For a few seconds, he just stares at me. His blank eyes are suddenly filled with sorrow.

And I know whats happened...

My heart stops beating. I cant breathe.

Anna was sorrowful... she kissed me I'm here... she sobbed... she couldn't say...

Ryan is—

"Of course." His nod looks more like a jerk. A confirmation stamp over my thought. A slipping tear is all I can muster to show of the storm that suddenly raged up inside me.