Date written: Feb 06 2019 and Feb 07 2019

Römische is my of Self Doubt

TW: mentions of self harm and cuts

Human AU

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Roman avoided looking at his mirror. He knew he was a mess; he hadn't even tried to take care of himself. He threw on an oversized red hoodie and a pair of white sweatpants. He didn't feel like doing anything but curling up in his bed and sleeping, but his younger brother Römische had asked if they could go to the park and Roman couldn't say no to the 11-year-old boy.

"Roro! Come on! I wanna play!" The young boy whined through the door. 

"Just a sec my little dark prince.." Roman replied in a fake happy tone. He subconsciously scratched his wrist as he looked for his phone. He hadn't noticed he reopened the wounds until they stung.

Sighing, he cleaned his wrist and wrapped it. Then found his phone under his pillow and went to find his brother.

Römische eagerly gave Roman his sneakers and urged him to hurry. "Come on Roman! I promise I'll leave you alone later, I just wanna go to the park!"

"I know dear, and we will." Roman was glad his brother wasn't affected by their homophobic parents kicking them out. Thankfully, Roman had been able to get a job at the Disney store in the mall and was able to get a decent sized house neater his job. He also worked part time at a theater so that helped financially.

Roman put the shoes on and allowed himself to be dragged out the door by his younger brother. He locked the door and they made their way to a nearby park where Roman let his brother run freely.

Roman sat on a bench under a tree and watched his brother play with the other kids. If pretending to be happy meant keeping his brother safe and happy, then so be it. 

— —

"Roro! Look at me!" Römische called out from the swings. Roman watched as his brother went higher and higher. The young boy had a smile on his face, identical to what Roman look like when he smiled.

"Be careful my dark prince, I don't think your insurance would pay for another broken bone!" Roman replied. He pulled out his phone and stared at the lock screen. It was a picture of him with his friends and his brother.

He missed the times where he would star gaze with Virgil and Logan, going out to Starbucks with Remy, cooking and baking with Patton, and visiting the reptile exhibit with Deceit at the zoo to see the snakes.

Roman knew it was his fault they didn't want anything to do with him. He had closed himself off and pushed them away. After all, they joked about his insecurities whenever they thought he wasn't paying attention.

He hugged his knees and and held back the tears. Not only was it pathetic for him to cry in public, but it would upset his brother to see him upset.

He quickly bit his lip and snapped out of the trance. He was perfectly fine.....