Who's ready for some baby texting talk?!? Because this chapter is just going to be totally normal where everyone admires cute little Armitage as he attempts to text.

I don't own anything. Otherwise, I would have made the Han Solo spinoff trilogy a Chirrut & Baze movie, Young Orson & Galen Netflix show, and Hux & Phasma anthology (Sorry, but I'm not too excited for the Han Solo spinoffs).
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Brendol Hux: Guys! I want to introduce you to someone!

Ezra Bridger: Great. Another two people to lose in the chat

Bodhi Rook: Zip it, Ezra 🤐

Brendol Hux: Guys, meet my son, Armitage Hux

Armitage Hux: akfoaogjejtkd

Brendol Hux: Annnddd... he's teething on the phone...

Bodhi Rook: Who gives a baby a phone?

Jyn Erso: Not my parents

Orson Krennic: Oh rancor. What other jerks are here?

Brendol Hux: How dare you call me and my son jerks! I am of higher rank than you are, Director!

Orson Krennic: And yet you were calling everyone fam a few days ago

Brendol Hux: THAT WAS A PRIVATE CONVERSATION!!! HOW DID YOU HEAR THAT?!??

Jyn Erso: You should have made sure you were private messaging first. Instead you texted to the public chat

Armitage Hux: Fwahaha

Brendol Hux: Armitage, stop teething on the phone!

Armitage Hux: Fk nu

R2-D2: Ye fam

Armitage Hux: You're right. I should have not given him a phone

Orson Krennic: ... Brendol ur stupid

Jyn Erso: O_O WHEN DID ORSON KRENNIC START SAYING UR

Orson Krennic: I thought I should catch up to the times

Bodhi Rook: I smell adults trying to be like teenagers in cringe worthy ways

Orson Krennic: Kewl

Orson Krennic: Wait what?

Lyra Erso: I have lost all respect for you, Orson.

Galen Erso: That's harsh Lyra

Lyra Erso: I lost all my respect for you years ago.

Ezra Bridger: How are you two still married?

Lyra Erso: That is a good question, Ezra.

Darth Vader: Who cares? Who else thinks it's hilarious that Armitage is teeth texting?

Armitage Hux: wifowjfnwofjwodke

Orson Krennic: How the Ackley do you teeth text?

Chirrut Îmwe: Well it's quite simple. You have a phone with a keyboard that actually is like a mini computer keyboard and then you bite down on the keys

Orson Krennic: Chirrut, you have never seen a keyboard in your life. How do you know what they look like?

Chirrut Îmwe: Um...

Baze Malbus: Oof! Krenny just backed you into a corner

Armitage Hux: wtf kind o namme is krennie

R2-D2: lel tis krennys hi skool nicknackpaddywhackname

Armitage Hux: lel fwahahaha

Luke Skywalker: Brendol, you should be proud! Your son is communicating with R2! :)

Brendol Hux: I am so proud!

Eren Yaeger: IM CRYING😂😂😂

Jyn Erso: Orson, what was Papa's high school nickname?

Galen Erso: Don't tell

Orson Krennic: He was a big fanboy of someone named Mads Mikkelsen so I had to call him Mads.

Galen Erso: SHUDDUP

R2-D2: 4th wall broken O.o

Armitage Hux: ev'ry1 scweem FJAOFJELFJEBEF

R2-D2: AHFOWJRBDHEKDJEHEB

Jyn Erso: Papa... was... a ... fanboy... of... Mads Mikkelsen...

Orson Krennic: Yep.

Eren Yaeger: ROFLMTAO

Bodhi Rook: Guys, why is Cassian always left out of the story unless it's about me fighting over Cassian's love with Jyn?

Galen Erso: YOU GUYS CAN BREAK THE FORTH WALL TOO?!? NOT FAIR!!!!

Baze Malbus: Idk just start texting if you want

Cassian Andor: YAY

Bodhi Rook: Yay!

Brendol Hux: GUYS!! THIS CHAPTER WAS SUPPOSED TO BE ABOUT ME AND MY SON!!

Cassian Andor: Ur son stole your spotlight

Armitage Hux: Damn r1ght me did haha suk it pops

Cassian Andor:

Brendol Hux: Wouldnt it be awesome if we knew what he was saying? He's amazing!

Luke Skywalker: I know!

C-3PO: Armitage Hux said-

[Armitage Hux has kicked C-3PO out of group chat]

Bodhi Rook: u rool da spotlight Armitage

Jyn Erso: Wtbantha

R2-D2: Dumbdumbwantgumgum, ur not sp'posed 2 undersnd us

Bodhi Rook: Oh

Armitage Hux: go away fcker

Bodhi Rook: o_O

Cassian Andor: HOW DARE U INSULT MY BOYFRIEND!!! *punches R2*

Luke Skywalker: O.O YOU UNDERSTAND HIM?!?

Baze Malbus: wut

Chirrut Îmwe: HAHAHAHAHA

K-2SO: Guys I was forgotten about

Cassian Andor: Nobody cares

R2-D2: fk yall

Armitage Hux: *screams in Cassians ear*

Cassian Andor: *tosses Armitage into trash can*

Armitage Hux: *bops Cassian on head w/ trash can top*

Bodhi Rook: *puts Armitage in crib with binky*

Armitage Hux: *yanks Bodhi in and puts binky in Bodhis mouth*

R2-D2: *electrocutes bodhi*

Jyn Erso: This has gotten very intense

Lyra Erso: Yes it has

Ezra Bridger: Yep

Orson Krennic: Hear Hear

Chirrut Îmwe: BAZE WHERES MY POPCORN

K-2SO: OOH POPCORN BAZE MAKE ME SOME TOO

Baze Malbus: ITS POPPING GUYS

Brendol Hux: ...

Galen Erso: I'm lovin' it! Ba-da-da-da-daaaa!

Armitage Hux: *throws Bodhi and Cassian into trash*

R2-D2: *welds top shut*

Cassian Andor: ...

Bodhi Rook: *uses Cassian's sexiness and hotness to melt trash can*

Cassian Andor: *tosses hot potatoes into r2 to destroy his circuits*

R2-D2: FK U GET EMMMMM

Armitage Hux: *tosses Cassian and Bodhi into popcorn bowl where they burn up and pop like corn kernels*

Brendol Hux: Okay... I did not know my son was that intense...

Eren Yaeger: I AM SCREAMING!!! 😂😂😂😂😂

Bodhi Rook: *grabs on to Armitage and throws him in too*

R2-D2: *makes popcorn out of them*

Armitage Hux: HEY FKER WE ON SAME TEEM

R2-D2: fwahaha r2 > Armity. r2 always win

Armitage Hux: HELDJWOFHSBFJEO *destroys r2*

R2-D2: *lives*

BB-8: U GO GRAMPS

R2-D2: BB I am ur cousin's grandfather's nephew's son's aunt's sister's uncle's niece's father's daughter's son

BB-8: ...

R2-D2: I ur daddy

BB-8: Who my mommy

Starkiller Base: Me b*****

BB-8: 😱

BB-8: HELL YEAH!!

Luke Skywalker: If only we knew what they were saying...

Everyone except Brendol: ...

Armitage Hux: yall lewsers
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Welp! That's baby Armitage for you all! Also, I didn't want to make Brendol an abusive father for this chapter because 1. It's not convinient for the plot and 2. Fanfiction.

If I wrote a more serious story (probably Rogue One related) would you guys be interested in reading it?

Please review!