Two chapters in one day?!? This Monday is great!

Did we have a song chapter before?? Oh yeah, the 12 days of Rogue One and Cassian's 'My Heart Will Go On' song prank.
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Chirrut Îmwe > Baze Malbus

Chirrut Îmwe: Hi Baze!

Baze Malbus: Chirrut, how are u texting without me?

Chirrut Îmwe: Secrets ;)

Chirrut Îmwe: Baze! Guess what happened to me in Jedha city this morning! This guy was smiling at me and talking to me

Baze Malbus: That's very interesting...

Chirrut Îmwe: He was being reaaalllyyy friendly and I think he was coming on to me. I think he mighta thought I was gay!

Baze Malbus: Why do I need to know this? Why should I care? I don't care. What did you have for lunch today?

Chirrut Îmwe: You don't have to get all defensive about it...

Baze Malbus: I'm NOT getting defensive! What do I care about some gay guy you met k?

Chirrut Îmwe: I didn't mean anything by it Baze. I just think it's something we should be able to talk about

Baze Malbus: I don't care and don't want to talk about some gay guy you met. This conversation is over

Chirrut Îmwe: Yeah, but-

[Baze Malbus has interrupted Chirrut Îmwe's text]

Baze Malbus: OVER!!!

Chirrut Îmwe: Fine. But just so you know...
If you were gay
That'd be okay.
I mean 'cause, hey,
I'd like you anyway.
Because you see,
If it were me,
I would feel free
To say that I was gay
(But I'm not gay.)

Baze Malbus: ...

Chirrut Îmwe: 😀😆😄😍😊😌☺️😃😋

Baze Malbus: Chirrut... why ru sending me a bunch of smiley faces?

Chirrut Îmwe: :) :D XD

Baze Malbus: WHAT?!?

Chirrut Îmwe: If you were queer

Baze Malbus: Force dammit

Chirrut Îmwe: I'd still be here (don't use the Force's name in vain)

Baze Malbus: Chirrut...

Chirrut Îmwe: Year after year

Baze Malbus:

Chirrut Îmwe: Because you're dear to me

Baze Malbus: ... nice...

Chirrut Îmwe: And I know that you
Would accept me too
If I told you today,
"Hey! Guess what,
I'm gay!"
(But I'm not gay.)
I'm happy
just being with you.

Baze Malbus: 😑 sounds gay to me

Chirrut Îmwe: So what should it matter to me
What you do in bed with guys?

Baze Malbus: Push them out of the bed and hog the sheets-HEY!! I don't sleep with guys... yet

Chirrut Îmwe: I'm sure you do
If you were gay
I'd shout hooray!
And here I'd stay,
But I wouldn't get
in your way.
You can count on me
To always be
Beside you every day,
To tell you it's okay,
You were just born
That way,
And, as they say,
It's in your DNA,
You're gay!

Baze Malbus: CHIRRUT IM ALREADY GAY WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THIS AGAIN

Chirrut Îmwe: Hooray you're gay!

Chirrut Îmwe:

Chirrut Îmwe: Wait, for who?

Baze Malbus: You

Chirrut Îmwe: Kewl

Baze Malbus: YAY!

Chirrut Îmwe: Unfortunately I think Mon Mothma looks super hot so I think I'll be asking her out. But glad to see you accept your gayness and I'm glad we had this talk! Bye! 😄

Baze Malbus: ...

Baze Malbus: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?? YOU'RE BLIND!!
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If You Were Gay is a song from a Broadway musical called Avenue Q , directed by Jason Moore. The song is at the stop of this chapter of you're interested in hearing the real thing.

(I have actually never seen this musical. I just heard this dog and decided to throw it into one of my chapters)

Unfortunately, no one has made a Chirrut/Baze parody of this song. If I had a deeper voice and knew how to animate, I would have already been finished with making it.

Please review!

Oh and disclaimer: I do not own Avenue Q or Star Wars.