sooooooooooooo

hi?

I uh, don't really know what to say here to be honest...

I left this book for SUUUPER long, much longer than I ever planned nor wanted to.

I am SO sorry for this...

When I first started this book's sister story, Rebel, I wanted to catch up with that part of the story because I felt there were some plot holes with characters that could be fixed. There is a five year gap between that story and this story, and Rebel spans that five years with what events were occuring on Berk. I said I was going to fill that gap in that book before I continued this one.

That was what I said anyway...

School came along and I had less and less time to work on stories, especially when I no longer had lunch because I now had a social life and friends. Strange how that works.

So when summer came I thought I was going to be able to catch up quickly in Rebel and continue this part of the story, right? Heck no I was wrong. I was super lazy somehow (because normally I hate being lazy) until by the time summer was over I realized I had done NOTHING of what I planned to.

So I am SO SO SO SO SO sorry because now this story has 16.9k reads (WHAT HOW WHY WHEN WHERE?!) and I haven't updated since March...

And now I am in high school with advanced classes, so homework I swear has taken over my life. But besides that, I want to get out of this unmotivation thing and get back to updating!

What I plan to do is to work on stories whenever I can, and update whenever possible. So I can't promise any real updates, but Rogue and Rebel are still my main priority stories.

So once again I sincerely apologize for my lack of updates, and I hope this chapter will make up for it...?

Also, the song up at the top is freaking awesome and I've been listening to it on repeat while writing this XD Even my brother has lol

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The next day Sun almost went back to the village.

He left with saying a quick "see you later" to his half-asleep partner, needing to get away as fast as he could. The nightmare he had had shadowed his dreams again, striking fear and doubt into the Rider's heart. I'm such a failure. I knew what was coming and it still hurt. I could have turned around and gone back to whatever ship I arrived on and sailed off to not bother them again. But NOOOO dream me had to scare the Hel out of me again.

Once he had gotten back yesterday evening Nightstalker had pestered him for details. The dragon was evidently untrusting of the Vikings, to which Sun could relate to with some extent. How could I not be? These are the people that hated my existence ever since I was born the runt. Y'know, I like the fact that I'm not fat like they are. I can actually fit into places and be fast versus bulky and a large target.

Sun disliked the people he had met already. Snotlout seemed very assuming, Astrid was overall acting suspicious. Fishlegs was okay, but Sun simply could not trust anyone here from first impressions. The chief was clearly something to be worried about from the other's reactions.

It seemed Fishlegs was terrified of him, and Astrid and him clearly did not see eye-to-eye. Snotlout seemed especially forced around him.

Not to mention he was completely rude to pretty much everyone and passed his people over when they supposedly needed something from them.

As Sun trudged back through the almost-familiar forest to the direction of the village, something struck a chord with him. How long has the chief been so... bossy? If he holds such a fear over these peoples' lives, how do they life without being terrified of going outside? I would have left. Oh wait, I did.

There was smoke coming from chimneys and already the pleasant ringing of metal from the forge. Sun's first thought was to go there, but then Gobber's phantom words echoed through his mind again.

"Don't you know you ain't welcome here? Go back to where ye belong, dragon lover."

The forge suddenly felt like no sanctuary of singing metal and molten creation.

So I can't go to Toothless, he's fed up with me. Gobber secretly thought I was useless all along. Astrid acts weird when I'm around her. Gods, you sure do hate me don't you.

Sun looked up to the sky, but squinted and blinked when he nearly stared at the thing that gave him his code name.

Guess I should go scout out the island, maybe... Oh, maybe I can find this mystery guy's camp or something and ambush it and get my friends out later. Then we can get out of here and go home.

That sounded like literally the best plan Sun had ever thought of. Find his team, blow up some stuff, and get out of this place of nightmares. I sound like Daggur, now.

Sun was so lost in thought he did not realize when there was someone else wandering the woods until an axe nearly split his head.

"ACK!" Terror shot through Sun's mind as the memory of an axe burying itself into his chest flashed in his head.

"Oh, you. Whattya doing out here, Sun?"

Of course it's the same girl that also murdered me in said dream. You really thought I was worthless, didn't you Astrid? Sun thought bitterly as he somehow managed to calmly turn and face the shieldmaiden.

"You really shouldn't be trying to murder people with that thing. You hunt dragons, don't you?" Another bitter statement towards the blonde.

But what confused Sun was when Astrid did not look proud, but looked more offended and shocked. "What?! Of course n- I mean, I used to." She barely looked down at the ground, her bangs covering her eyes enough for Sun to not see her face. "But that was before all the dragons stopped attacking."

The way Astrid spoke sounded off for how Hiccup remembered her. Fearsome, fearless, beautiful. Afraid of nothing. Did everything correct in everyone else's eyes. The pride of Berk. She has nothing to regret, yet why does she sound remorseful...?

Test time with Sun the Rogue and Astrid Hofferson.

"Oh? You sad the dragons stopped raiding or something?" Sun asked casually to most, but was like a dagger to others.

Astrid's gaze flew upwards and her crystal blue eyes lit with flames. "Are you kidding?!" she paused from her immediate outburst, then continued. "I mean, of course I am. No more raids, no more stolen food. No more having to work day in and day out to repair buildings. No more needless murder or violence. We can continue with our... Viking ways, and dragons can go on with their own lives."

...huh.

Astrid brushed off the entire point of that question with such ease Sun could only imagine how she got out of it.

I... couldn't get her reaction? This doesn't make sense...

That was one of Sun's standard questions to find how a new person felt about dragons. If they hated dragons and either were glad they were gone or wished they could come back to be able to kill more, Sun knew they were a person to avoid. But Astrid... She had reactions to both sort of responses. Like her words said she was glad they were gone but the tone said the opposite. Who... How...? Sun's insecurities with this place only seemed to increase.

"Sun? Are you still here?" he blinked.

"Oh, uh, yeah. I, uh, was just, ah, going to explore the island? Yeah. I didn't think anyone was up yet, uh yeah. That's it. I'm an early riser, so... yeah." Sun swore he was busted.

Astrid looked amused. "You're lucky if you're an early riser. Most people here on Berk snore until like, almost midday!" she laughed a little tensely. "For me it means I can get stuff done without people bothering me. If you need to do stuff without people knowing, now's the time to do it."

Sun gave her a strange look. "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

The blonde suddenly looked panicked. "Uh, nothing! I was just thinking, since you're a trader, if you had something you wanted to do as like a surprise... oh, never mind. I, uh, got to be somewhere, so be seeing you!" She leapt over a log and into the woods before Sun could react.

"Hey!"

Sun ran after her, but by the time he got over the log she was gone. "What was that about?"

OKay... She is officially someone to be worried about. Was she... suggesting something?! Does she know something?! Does she know know?! I don't know...

Hiccup's walls were crumbling around him faster than he ever thought they could. Everything about this place, these people, felt so familiar!

But nothing IS! Nothing here I remember nor wish to! All these people have brought to me is pain and misfortune and confusion! Nothing here makes sense!

He wished he never woke up on B-Day. If I never woke up, none of this would have happened. I never would have left the Edge, none of my family would be missing, I could just be blissfully dreaming about flying in the sky without a care in the world.

An image of him still sleeping in his warm bed at the Edge flashed through his mind, but not as blissfully as he imagined. His face was twisted in a nightmare, and he swore his mind conjured screams and shouting and dragons roaring all outside.

...No. That's not what would have happened, is it? The same stuff would still be happening... The gods really DO hate me, don't they? Can't do anything right. I really am useless, huh? I'm just here to cause problems...

Something in Hiccup's heart spoke out against his own dark thoughts. It threw the young Rider's mind into disarray again, with wishes and reality and memories and dreams all colliding in his head. His mind refused to separate all the lies from truth, searching the past itself created. In the matter of a week his world had been spun into a vortex, like when Toothless lost control without his tailfin.

But now, how to get that tailfin back...?

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I swear ending is one of my worst weaknesses

If I could just keep writing and never have to end things would be so much easier

I mean, my school literature assignments could be so much less awkward too

Oh, and titles. I don't know how to title.

...why is there so many reads on this book again even though I'm horrible and some of the key components??

auf weidersehen?

-Becca WILL BE BACK.