Song opened the door to the enormous house we grew up in.

The smile quickly disappeared from her face when she saw me.

"Come here."

I didn't have time to resist because she wrapped me in a tight hug.

"You know already?" I brushed the tear with a finger.

"I do," She released me then looked at me from head to foot.

My hair was tied like a Samurai's and it was loose and messy.

I would normally dress up to see my grandmother but after visiting Sam, I didn't bother to change into something more presentable hence the joggers, hoodies and my favorite white Nike's.

"That Sam. Such a big mouth."

Song stepped aside and I went in.

"She's just worried about you. We all are," She gently closed the door then hooked one arm on mine.

"How are you holding up?"

We walked side by side.

"Not good," I admitted.

"Maybe it's for the best, you know?"

"Why did you say that?"

The relief I saw in my sisters was bothering me.

I thought they'd be sad about the breakup but their reactions were the opposite of what I was expecting.

They were sympathetic towards me but the relief outweighed the disappointment.

Did I miss something while I was in a relationship with Wan Viva?

"If she's really gone for good, then you could move on and see other people."

I stopped in front of the grand staircase.

"Song, my relationship ended less than 24-hours ago. You already want me to see other people?"

"I'm not saying you do it right away. But this push and pull and on and off situation between you and Wan Viva is nuts."

That was the same thing Sam said.

"I thought you were okay with her?"

"She wasn't so bad but you," She placed both hands on my shoulder and squeeze it, "deserve so much better."

I shook my head in disbelief.

Song met my ex countless times.

She was always gracious towards her.

Perhaps because she was always polite and accommodating.

But to hear what she was saying now about the breakup was confusing.

Am I the only one who genuinely liked my ex?

"Where's Grandmother?" I quickly change the subject.

"She's at her study. Do you want tea?"

"Do you have something stronger?"

"It's too early for whisky. Grandmother would disapprove," She chuckled.

"Fine. Let's chat later, okay?"

"No rush. I'll be in the garden."

***

My sister, Song, was the only one left in the grand house.

She could move if she wanted to but she didn't want to leave our grandmother alone.

My sister was a successful pianist and a prodigy.

She also performed in various concerts and arenas around the world.

But just when her star was starting to rise, she deliberately stepped back from performing to spend more time with our grandmother when she got sick.

Now, Song spends more of her time teaching young kids.

She loved it and once told us that she found her true calling.

***

When I reached the study, I knocked twice and waited for an answer before coming in.

Grandmother stopped writing when she saw me.

Impeccably dressed in a satin white blouse and dark pants, my grandmother looked like she was working.

Her short silver hair was neatly styled and it was her demeanor that commanded respect and attention.

Just don't look under the desk and you'll find that she was wearing comfortable soft slippers.

She smiled and waved for me to come closer.

"Hello, Grandmother." I hugged the woman who devoted her life to raising all of us.

"How are you, Khun Nueng?" She asked as I sat on the heavy oak chair.

This room with the familiar smell of jasmine tea and old books brought comfort to my aching heart.

I spent countless hours reading and memorizing the book titles when I was younger.

There was one time when I rearranged the books according to the colors of the rainbow.

She was shocked with what I did.

Back then I didn't know she liked it arranged alphabetically.

She didn't hit me or anything.

Grandmother just laughed it off and let the books stayed as it was.

"I'm alright."

An eyebrow rose up.

"Sam hasn't told you?"

She shook her head.

"Someone else did?"

"The news."

"What news?"

"A paparazzo saw Wan Viva leaving your house last night. There was a picture of her lugging a heavy suitcase down the stairs. I'm surprised you haven't seen it."

"I don't really read the news anymore. It's better for my sanity."

"Smart. You followed my advice."

"I did. The moment you told me not to do a Google search on myself was the most precious advice anyone could ever receive."

"You almost always obey what I said."

"Almost always?" I raised an eyebrow, curious to know what she meant.

"No one, not even Sam, would obey me completely but that's alright. I admire that all of you have your own mind. It drove me crazy sometimes but that's life,"

"What are you going to do now?" She clasped both hands and studied me carefully.

"Go back to the studio and record that last album that was part of my contract."

"You sound unwilling to do it."

"I was. Still am."

She tilted her head and waited for a follow up explanation.

I took the black velvet ring box out of my pants pocket.

Grandmother's eyes lit up with recognition.

"Did you show her your mother's engagement ring?" She opened the box to reveal a marquise cut pear-shaped aquamarine ring.

She held it up and the light caught in the tiny diamonds that encircled the gold band.

The ring was even more stunning in broad daylight.

"I didn't get the chance."

"Good. Save it for the next girl," She said in a casual manner.

"I'm not planning on joining the dating pool anytime soon."

"Why not? You're young, attractive and very, very rich. You wouldn't have a hard time finding a potential date. You're Khun Nueng for chrissake. Men and women kissed the ground you walked on. All you have to do is take your pick."

"Thank you for your confidence but right now, dating is at the bottom of my list. I have to get back to work and get over this obligation. The sooner I do that, the faster I could...," I stopped.

Grandmother didn't know of my plan to retire from the business.

At least I haven't told her in person.

But I wouldn't be surprised if she knew already given how Sam had a tendency to let important information slip.

"Khun Nueng, you're only thirty-six. You're on top of your game. Why quit now?"

See?

She already knew about it.

"I wanted more from life than this. I wanted a lowkey existence, away from the prying eyes of everyone. I wanted to be able to enjoy my coffee without anyone asking for a picture or an autograph. Is that too much to ask?"

"You're not an ordinary person. You know that. You followed my footsteps and became famous for your music like I was."

My grandmother was also a famous singer.

In her heyday, she won countless awards and plenty of accolades for her talent.

A coloratura soprano, my mother could sing like a bird.

I grew up hearing her songs not only at home but on the radio.

She stepped away from the limelight in her old age but once in a while, she would still get offers for interviews.

She was the one who trained me in classical music.

But as I got older and figured out what I wanted for myself, my preference wasn't what she expected.

I knew she was disappointed with my choice to play the guitar and sing rock music instead of the piano and classical pieces but what she said about us not obeying her a hundred percent was true.

"Song is famous too but she doesn't get bothered by the paparazzi," I reasoned.

"But your music is more relatable compared to Song's. Unless they're into the classic masterpieces, I'm yet to meet someone who prefers Gymnopédie No. 1 over your albums," She chuckled.

When I didn't even smile, her expression turned serious.

"Is that what you really want? You won't miss the bright lights, the glitz, glamour and adulation of so many people?"

"You know I didn't do this for fame, right?"

"I do. You always said you just wanted to make music. But do you regret that you made so much money out of it?"

"I don't. It would be hypocritical to say that. I like that I get to buy what I want without thinking twice or to live my life with so much privilege. I will always be thankful that I get to do something I love."

"While earning a crazy amount of money from it," She finished my sentence.

"That too."

"Well, follow your own bliss. Besides, no one said you can't come out of retirement if you get bored. That happens a lot these days."

"Are you planning to come out of retirement?"

"Of course not. I'm old, Khun Nueng. I enjoy the peace and quiet and not being tied to a schedule 24/7."

"Now you know why I wanted to quit."

"I thought you like having a schedule?"

"Not this crazy schedule I've been following for two decades. My life is planned two years ahead. It's crazy."

"Ah. Such is the price of fame," She grinned.

"You're not disappointed with my decision?"

"Of course not. You're an adult. You know what you want in life. You've accomplished so much in your young life," She took my hand and squeezed it tight, "you made me prouder and prouder over the years. Why should I be disappointed?"

I got teary-eyed when she said that.

"Whatever you choose to do, Khun Nueng, I want you to be happy."

I was at a loss for words that I just nodded.

"I'd better get going," I stood up.

"What are you going to do now?"

"I don't know. Catch up on sleep. Eat a big tub of chocolate ice cream. Watch a sappy movie. The possibilities are endless."

"I'm sorry for what happened between you and Wan Viva. I like that girl."

"But?"

"She could be a bit flighty and high maintenance but she saved my life."

"You didn't tell me you think of her that way."

"I don't have to say anything. You have eyes. You can see. How many Rolexes does it take to make a woman happy?"

We both laugh at that.

"By the way, did she return your expensive gifts?"

"I don't think she will. I don't expect her to."

"If she had any self-respect, she should. Those are probably worth millions."

"Don't worry about it, Grandmother. It's just money."

"Wan Viva is one lucky girl. She became a millionaire just by dating you."

I only shrugged.

Before she brought it up, it didn't cross my mind to take the gifts back.

It wasn't my style.

"What about this?" I pointed to the ring box that was still on her desk.

"Bring it with you and keep it safe. I have no doubt that it will find its way to its rightful owner eventually."

"Do you really believe that?"

"I do. You don't have to rush into marriage. Love takes time."

"Thank you," I smiled, believing that what she said was true.

"Now, do your obligations. Make that album. Since it's your last hurrah, give it the best you got so that no one forgets you."

"I'll make sure they don't."

I walked around the massive desk to give the woman who raised my sisters and I a big hug.

I felt a little lighter when I left the study room.

It was as if the burden I carried was taken off my shoulders.

Grandmother always had that effect on me.