It had been about a month since Richard had figured out the truth about Tara being his long lost sister Tina, and in turn Tara being the well known mercenary Blade.  He normally made regular visits to the jail where she was being kept. Even though she was a minor there was enough evidence from previous cases to put her in jail for man slaughter.

Richard would go almost every day and just talk to her. The first thing he said to her after finding out was, "I promise, that I will be a better big brother to you. I can help you get through this. When you get out of here and until then I will always be here for you unlike how I wasn't there for you in the past." Tina was shocked by this, she was so used to being abandoned, to being on her own, to getting to know someone only to have to leave. To see her brother who she had thought was in that group of people, prove her wrong, was thought provoking.

"Please Tina, just give me this one last chance that I don't deserve. I want to help you onto the right path," Dick begged his sister through the police glass, gripping onto the phone that they have to communicate through with so much force that his knuckles turn white.

Tina thought for a moment and looked at her brother. She thought she had liked the life she lead and would hate to be in his place, but he is happy. She tried to come to Gotham, not only to make a name for herself, but to try and leave her old life behind once and for all. But would it really be a bad thing to try and go back to the old life she actually didn't mind having? Or at least try and combine her old and new lifestyle? 

"Okay," Tina says quietly through the glass. Dick looks up into her eyes and theres a slight smile on her lips.

***

Although, this previous week had been a tough one. Batman was keeping him up all night to try and catch one of the mob bosses of Gotham. He was also going through a hard time in school. He tried to fake that he didn't know where Tara was and had to focus on his studies since it was around midterms. Richard hadn't had time to go and visit Tina in the prison all week and he felt bad but there was nothing he could do. Bruce started to notice Dick was barely getting his homework done and refused to let him leave and go visit.

There were certain conversations that would keep popping into both of the young Graysons' heads at random times when they were apart. The one where Richard had promised to take her in as Tina when all of this was over. The one where he promised to figure out how to tell Deathstroke or fake Tara's death. The one where Richard suggested she join the Dynamic Duo or at least the young team of sidekicks she heard about. Every conversation where Richard was the one to apologize for her being in this situation. Richard didn't feel like it was her fault, but that didn't stop Tina from having her own thoughts. Tina felt... guilty. She had grown up thinking that the life she lead was okay, that being a mercenary was a valid job. For the first time in her life, she realized that everything she had done as a mercenary was wrong. She had stolen from banks, helped super villains, heck she had killed people... a lot of people. Whenever Dick was there with her she actually felt happy, but once he left, these guilty thoughts crowded her mind once again since he would always end the conversation with 'I am so sorry you are in this position'. Why was he apologizing? She used to blame him or the police for separating them but looking back, it was her choice, she could have run away, she could have chosen to not join Deathstroke. And what now? Did she join her brother pretending that her old life didn't happen? Did she abandon Slade who took her in when no one else could or would? It was like an endless game of tug of war inside Tina's head. And the fact that she was left alone with these thoughts for an extended period of time was to much for Tina to handle. Tina realized that these thoughts would haunt her for the rest of her life.

***

"Hello Wayne Manor, how may I be of assistance?" Alfred asked as he picked up the phone one Sunday morning. After a brief pause Alfred talks again. "My heavens! I will be sure to deliver the message to him."

"What is it Alfred?" Bruce asks coming into the kitchen and ruffling Dicks hair as he continues to eat his cereal.

"It wasn't a call for you Master Bruce, but a call for young Master Richard," Alfred says holding a hand to his chest. Dick and Bruce look at each other confused before looking at Alfred with the same looks.

Alfred answers them after a minute, "It seems that the call was from the Gotham City Police and Jail facilities. I am so sorry Master Richard, but it seems Miss Tina is dead."

Richard just stares at Alfred while both Alfred and Bruce stare back at him to see how he will react. Before Alfred can tell him the details, Dick grabs his jacket and hops on his motorcycle and heads to the prison.

***

It doesn't take Dick long to get there. He storms in and goes to the front desk, but before he can get there Renee Montoya holds him back. She was waiting for him since Bruce called to let the security know he was coming over. Officer Montoya was there when Robin brought in Blade and unmasked her. Then Dick 'showed up' soon after pretending to be the shocked long lost brother.

"I know you are upset Dick but you should calm down," Officer Montoya tells him.

"Where is she? What kind of joke is this? I saw her a week ago!" Richard shouts.

"Dick, your sister really is dead. She was found dead this morning during breakfast rounds. I am so sorry," the officer tells him.

"But how? Did she have enemies from her mercenary days inside the prison?" Dick asks still in shock.

"Tina... Tina committed suicide, she...she hung herself," Montoya tells Dick.

Dick hears this and falls to the ground right there and starts to cry quietly.

"Right after I got her back, she left again."

***

Richard had to attend to some documents since he was the only living relative to Tina that could be traced. Apparently they had tried to find her adopted father but he could not be found in any data bases. He also had to go to the morgue and identify that it was her, even though the DNA test already did that. It was hard to see her just lying there, cold and lifeless. No matter the look or attitude Tina had had, she was never lifeless. She was always having fun and doing her best. That was the hardest part for Richard.

While Richard was there, the police found the last of her belongings she had on her when arrested. A photo of Slade and her, a news paper clipping of Blade and Deathstroke, a little black book of all of her jobs as a mercenary, an older photo of her with her parents and Dick in the circus, a old beat up stuffed animal of a robin, and a letter.

Unlike the rest of the belongings the letter looked newer. Not old and faded and used like everything else they handed him. Dick put the other stuff down gently, before opening the letter and reading it.

'Dear Dickie,

I guess this is what people do before they do what I am about to. They leave a note, so that the people they care about know that it wasn't their faults. I am making the choice to end my life. I never thought I would say (or write) that, truthfully. But hey our circus's modo was expect the unexpected. I thought I was happy working as a mercenary, and if I hadn't found you while I was in Gotham, I would probably still count that as happy. But that was me being content.

When I found you, I wanted to forget all my training of being a professional and keeping up an alias. When you finally figured out I was your little sister, there was so much joy that you had finally found me, but that wasn't the real me, not anymore. When you found out I was Blade, a mercenary who had done horrible things including threatening your life, the hurt in your eyes was enough for me to realize how much of a mistake I had made. The hours talking to you even behind glass were so special to me, it was what got me through the guilt, a promise of a better tomorrow. But when I was alone the actions I did and choices I made haunted me, at night when I slept and the thoughts haunted me all the time. I couldn't escape. I tried to think of a better tomorrow where I could be with you, my real family and my real hero. However, I know these thoughts will haunt me for the rest of my life, and I can't bare that weight. 

I don't blame you, you have a life outside of being a hero, unlike how I didn't have a life outside of being a villain. I realize that too now, I was the villain in this story. I guess I always knew but ignored that fact. You are the best brother any little sibling could have and I am sorry if this action makes you doubt that fact. But I guess you were right when Robin told Blade that night that this was the end. It may be my end, but don't let it be yours. You still have a lot of great work you can do for this world, but the world is better off without me and I think you are too. 

I want you to take the key I taped into this letter and open my vault, it has all the money I stole or 'earned' from 'work' and donate it to charity since it is probably to late to just give it back. I know this letter is a random rant, but even though I made this choice, I am still nervous, to be judged by whatever is beyond this life. Please don't forget me, don't let my story happen again. But I also don't want you to be sad, remember the good times we shared. The times as Tina and Dickie in the circus and as Tara and Dick at school, try not to think of me as only Blade fighting and tricking Robin, even though that was a major part of my life. There is no stopping me in this action, but once again thanks for not abandoning me like I thought everyone did. You were the best big brother and I am so sorry for being such a horrible little sister. I am sorry for abandoning you this time (ironic I know).But I am just not strong enough to be called your little sister. 

Love, Tina (your little T)

The tears from Richard's eyes had started to blur the words and smear the writing. He folded up the letter after taking the key and just cried on the roof of Wayne Enterprises.

He had calmed down enough to whisper one last goodbye to his sister.

"Tina, I don't know if you can hear me wherever you are after this world. But you were the best sister I could have asked for. I will always cherish the memories we had, at the circus and the ones where you became one of my best friends at school. I am just sorry I couldn't have been there for you more. I can't help but think that if I had intervened early on, you would never had been a mercenary in the beginning. But there is no changing the past, only moving forward. So rest in peace little T. I always have and always will love you little sis."

Richard says all this whipping one last tear from his face and walking back to rejoin the land of the living.

***

He made the request that Tina be buried at a small but proper funeral, instead of in the state prison cemetery. Where he condensed her letter and said his little speech once again. There weren't many people there but Alfred and Bruce had shown up. Selina Kyle had come representing that even her darker half would be missed. It was a dark day for both sides, so no battles or arguments were held when Bruce saw her there. Jack Haley from the circus had come as well, to pay his respects just like he did for their parents funeral. But still there was an older man with an eye patch, wearing a black suit, who also came to pay his respects. No one knew who he was or why he was there or how he found out about the funeral. Bruce could have sworn he heard him say, "Rest in peace daughter dearest, my darling apprentice." But he let it go for Richard's sake.

Richard had used his own money to pay for this funeral and all of her money had gone to charity like Tina wanted. He had chosen to donate the full sum to rehabilitating ex-convicts. Giving them the chance she never had.

Richard looked at his little sister's tomb stone one last time before gently smiling while no one was looking and whispering, "I'll be back to visit Tina."

~The End~