Chapter Eleven - Feelings in the Pond
The sky was pitch black when they finally arrived to Sunshine Acres The silhouette of the old farmhouse was barely visible against the starry sky.
Despite the darkness, Holly walked through the front door of the house after dismounting Cookie as if she had no need for light at all. With a snap of her fingers, she illuminated the entire house with lights and candles, making it easier for Robin, who had managed to dismount the horse, but was having trouble with finding the porch stairs.
"I'll be right back," Holly announced, heading towards the stairs without looking back at Robin, who was now hurrying after her through the door. "I'm going to put these things away." She said, glancing down at the broken pieces of the ring necklace in her hand as if contemplating what to do with them.
"Are you really going to fix it for them?" Robin asked, speaking out despite knowing it wasn't his business.
Holly stopped her ascent and didn't respond, as if wondering the same herself.
"No," she finally said, a sad smile on her lips. "I don't have that kind of fixing power. Yet."
Robin managed a smile.
Holly examined the pieces in her hand. "I can reuse the broken parts. If I feel generous, I'll make the happy couple something else."
She continued up the stairs. "But I won't put my heart into it, like I did with these... Those two don't deserve something like that. I'll just slap something together., no I'll make the ugliest pieces I can...."
She trailed off with a slight sniffle as she wiped her face, and continued to the top of the landing. Quickly disappearing around the corner and out of Robin's view.
Robin felt frustrated, though he wasn't entirely sure why. Perhaps it was because, from his brief conversation with Dexter and Corrine, it was clear neither of them didn't deserved someone crying over him like this. Or maybe it was at Holly, for giving her heart to such a foolish man when men like Robin would be lucky too-
He stopped himself abruptly. His heart skipped a beat. Where was he going with that line of thought?
Shaking his head, he pushed down any frustration and told himself to focus on protecting the multitudes of breakable things within this house.
Maybe he should have let her come home to destroy things alone. What was his business what she did in her anger? Still, Robin couldn't help but feel strangely protective of the unique art and collections hanging on the walls, things he had grown quite attached to after cleaning each of them by hand. Seeing them destroyed after all his hard work would be a shame.
Robin hoped he wasn't overstepping his role in the house by offering to help.
Holly's footsteps sounded on the wooden stairs as she made her way back into the kitchen. She had removed her makeup and let down her hair, changing into her oversized green velvet nightgown and donning a large patchwork quilt over her shoulders.
"Alright," she said, heading to the pear cabinet, grabbing a pear, and taking an aggressive bite. "What's your trick for fixing a broken heart?"
"It's not just for a broken heart," Robin said, guiding her towards the mudroom and leading her out the back door. "I use it whenever I have an overwhelming amount of negative emotions I don't know what to do with. Come with me."
Robin led her to the pond behind the house. Standing on the rocky shore above the water, he bent down to pick up a stone from the bank.
"Whenever I would get frustrated with my brother, my mother took me to the nearest park in London and told me to pick a stone, press my feelings to it, and then skip it across the pond. If the stone stays on top of the water, they are meant to keep. If they fall in, I let them sink to the bottom with the stone and let them go."
"Hmph," Holly grunted. "Your mother was a creative con artist."
"Most people consider that part of parenting," Robin said, skipping a stone across the pond. he managed to make it skip three times before sinking into the dark and murky water below.
"It does work, though," he reassured her. "It helps organize your feelings and thoughts before acting on them. It also helps relieve some of your anger, as you throw the rock as hard as you can.... " Robin let out a grunt, chucking the stone as hard as he could. The stone skipped seven times, causing Robin to let out a proud chuckle,
"Well, I'll give it a try," Holly grumbled. She picked up a large stone and haphazardly-tossed it into the water with a loud 'PLONK!'. Waiting a moment before tossing another innocent stone to it's watery-demise the same way.
After a moment, Holly sighed, clearly unsatisfied.
"That's not really-" Robin started before stopping himself, knowing she had every right to walk away if she wanted to "You know, It helps if you say the feelings you're attaching to the stone out loud," Robin suggested. He picked up another stone and handed it to her.
"But then you will have to listen to my feelings," Holly said defensively.
"I don't mind," Robin said, sitting on a nearby rock. "Just think of me as your silent Stone Wrangler. I'll find you the best skipping stones while you talk."
"Stone Wrangler?" Holly scoffed.
Robin shrugged, shifting through the stones at his feet.
"...Okay then," Holly muttered, heaving a heavy sigh before starting again.
"I'm mad because I thought they were my friends."
Plop.
"I'm mad because Corrine knew how I felt about Dexter, and still lied and hid things from me."
Plop.
"She could have just told me the truth. I didn't like Dexter enough to stand in her way, and now I feel like an idiot. I feel like they both played me for a fool."
Plop. Robin noticed she threw this rock a bit further.
"And now I have to go on acting like everything's fine! Like, I don't even care! Because it IS fine. I never was courting Dexter, I had no claim on him ... .but everyone knew I-...and now everyone knows..."
No rock was thrown this time.
Robin looked up from his search for another rock, noticing she still held the last one. Tears streamed down her face.
"EVERYONE KNEW!" she yelled across the pond. "They all knew, and now I feel like such a fool."
PLOP.
"Because I KNEW too! I KNEW he didn't like me. I KNEW he was an ass. I KNEW he would never be someone I could be happy with. I KNEW this, and still..."
She let out a frustrated yell as she picked up a stone at her feet and threw the stone as hard as she could across the water. On impact, the water splattered as if a million stones hit it all at once.
Robin wanted to call her out for using her magic to cheat, but this didn't seem like the right time for jokes.
"I just wanted this time to be different. I wanted to be proven wrong about someone. I know it's stupid, but I wanted someone who had no interest in me, obviously not attracted to me, to change their mind and like me... Because despite it all the things telling them they shouldn't, they found me someone worth falling in love with."
Her voice cracked. She lightly tossed the stone into the water.
Plop.
"I can't keep doing this to myself," Holly sniffled, wiping her nose. "But I don't know how to stop. I can't help but feel... like it will never end any differently. I don't even know what it means to have someone fall in love with me."
Holly stared at the new stone in her hand and turned it over several times. Robin waited in silence to see if she was going to throw it, another rock at the ready in his hand. But Holly merely stood there as if lost in thought, staring at the rock as a silent tear fell onto it's smooth surface.
After a minute, Robin cleared his throat.
"I don't mean to interrupt, Holly," Robin said gently. "I know I promised to be a silent Stone Wrangler...however, I can't help but notice you aren't skipping the stones. That was a pretty important bit."
There was a moment of silence.
"What-What do you mean?" Holly said slowly, looking at him dejectedly. Her face was a swollen and blotchy red, her eyes bloodshot from tears.
"Do you know how to skip stones?" Robin asked.
Holly sniffed, heaving a hesitant sigh. "No..."
"It's actually pretty simple. I can show you, If you want?" Robin said, slowly standing up and moving beside her to demonstrate.
"First, you want to hold it loosely in one hand and fling it parallel with the water... See?" Robin demonstrated, throwing the rock in his hand, the rock managed to skip three times before sinking into the water.
Holly sniffed, unimpressed.
She tried to mimic him but failed. Robin noticed that the quilt around her shoulders was restricting her movement.
"May I?" Robbin asked, motioning for her to give him the quilt. The night was cool but not cold enough for her to freeze without it.
Holly handed it over, and Robin carefully folded it and laid it on the rock he had been sitting on.
"Would you mind if I hold your hand and show you how?" Robin asked, motioning for permission to touch her arm to demonstrate the proper technique.
She hesitated but slowly nodded. Robin took her hand that was holding the stone in his, feelingg her cold fingers against his warmer ones, as he correctly positioned the rock between her fingers.
Robin then carefully stood behind her, since she was only a few inches shorter than him, he had to bend down a bit to be at her eye level. He then leaned slightly to the side to get a view of the pond, holding her forearm to guide her in the throwing motion,
"I want you to flick the rock out of your hand on the count of three. Okay?" Robin instructed, drawing her arm back."Ready?"
Holly nodded.
"One." Robin swung her arm so she could get the feel of the throw. And drew it back again.
"Two." He pushed her arm forward one more time. Her arm seemed to relax a bit as if trusting his hold.
"Three," he said, pushing her arm forward.
Holly let go of the rock on his count, and to Robin's surprise, the rock skipped almost five times before landing in the middle of the pond.
"I did it! Holly shouted in surprise, letting out a happy laugh. She quickly turned towards him. Her face lit up with giddy excitement despite the tearstreaks that still remained on her cheeks..
In that moment, Robin suddenly realized how close they were, and his heart leaped; he quickly stepped back.
"Yes. Well...nice job, Holly. Now, see if that helps." Robin said awkwardly, returning to his seat on the rock, and hoping Holly hadn't heard the pounding of his heart as loudly as he could.
Sadness seemed to return to Holly's eyes as she watched him walk away. She slowly reached down and grabbed a stone near her foot, looking at it in her hand before looking back over the pond. She successfully skipped it on her own across the water, but she didn't look satisfied with the result as she had a moment before.
Holly took another stone from Robin and skipped it. The excitement from earlier was short-lived, as her repeated successes didn't satisfy her.
After grabbing another rock, Holly started approaching the water's edge. Robin watched as she descended the bank, wondering if she saw a better skipping stone there.
But as soon as Holly reached the water's edge, she paused before frantically running into the water. The pond water quickly overtook her as she disappeared beneath the surface.
Robin stood up in shock, calling out her name as the water rippled outward in an echo of her movements.
He watched, waiting for her to surface. After a long moment, he threw off his jacket and vest and ran into the water after her. He swam to where she had disappeared, ducked under, and reached out blindly, trying to find her.
He attempted to reach lower, but when he felt nothing, he dove deeper under the water.
After blindly grabbing at the dark pond water below, his fingers finally touched something similar to velvet. Reaching out further, he found what seemed to be Holly's waist and pulled her up to the surface.
"Holly..." Robin gasped as they broke through the water. "What on earth are you doing?" he asked, shaking water from his eyes as he swam back to shallower water. Thankfully, she hadn't been under long enough to lose consciousness. She wiped her own eyes, looking back at him with embarrassment.
"Robin," Holly said, spitting out pond water. "I didn't mean to scare you...I can hold my breath underwater for quite a long time. I'm sorry." She slowly wiped pond water off her face as she blinked at him.
"I just felt like I was having too many feelings... and I felt bad wasting so many rocks." She said with an embarrassed laugh. " I thought I might as well save some of them by throwing myself in the water instead, see if that helped."
"What? Thats not what...." Robin let out a long breath, he guessed it was slightly his fault for introducing this whole situation to her, "You will still need feelings left after this, you know," Robin said, a bit embarrassed for jumping in so frantically after her. "You can't leave them all at the bottom of the pond."
Holly let out a short laugh before she hummed thoughtfully, still floating in his arms. The water on her cheeks was a mix of tears and pond water, reflecting the light from the house and the stars. She slowly leaned back into the water again, and Robin instinctively shifted his arms around her waist to prevent her from going under again. She leaned back in his arms, her hair floating around her in the water.
"The feelings that remain at the top of the water," she said thoughtfully, "I hold on to those, right?"
"Yes," Robin said, looking down at her as she spread her arms over the water, leaning further into his arms.
Floating in the water, Holly looked like a fallen angel. Her hair was wild around her, with the moon reflected in the water, creating a halo effect around her head. As Holly lay there, held up by his arms, Robin's heart seemed to beat strangely again.
Not to say that Robin hadn't found Holly attractive before; he often thought that if she lived in London, he was sure she would catch the eyes of many male suitors. However, he had always ended his observation of her beauty with setting the boundary of her position as his hostess, and possibly even friend... nothing more.
However, looking at her in the moonlight, her eyes puffy and red hair swirling around her in a tangled mess, Robin couldn't imagine anything more beautiful.
That "nothing more" idea began to crumble.
He adjusted his hold on her back to keep her floating comfortably.
"Hold on tight," Holly smirked, opening one eye to look at him. "Don't drop me, please."
"Of course," Robin said, tilting his head to gaze at the stars.
"Always."
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