Robin's first exam was only a month away, and the familiar panic of last-minute revision had hit full force. Only two weeks of classes were left, followed by two weeks of study leave. The end of school felt closer than ever, but the looming pressure of exams made it hard to feel anything but anxious.

     Yohan, as ever, seemed pretty unbothered by the exams, engaging in his normal school routine as usual—as if it were something optional.

      However, ever since that visit to his grandmother's grave, it was as if something had shifted between them. Robin felt like he was seeing Yohan in a new light—one he couldn't quite put into words, but it made him appreciate him even more. Yohan seemed... softer. More open, less guarded, as though the walls he had kept so firmly up for so long had started to crack, at least around Robin.

     It was a subtle shift, but noticeable.

      Just the other day, Robin felt like he was having a heart attack when he spotted Yohan having a civil conversation with a boy from their English literature class. The boy had looked terrified the whole time, but the fact that Yohan was even making the effort was a minor miracle in itself.

      Despite Yohan's newfound ease, the topic of his mum was still off-limits. Robin had quickly learnt that trying to bring it up triggered something deep within Yohan. The one time he had tried to broach the subject again, Yohan had nearly had another panic attack—his breath shortening, hands trembling—just at the mere mention of her. Robin had backed off immediately. When he later tried to gently ask if the panic attacks were becoming more frequent, Yohan had brushed it off, pre​​tending it wasn't a big deal.

      In class, they had finished covering the syllabus. Now, every lesson was dedicated to practice papers, mock tests, and trying to dump as much knowledge as possible onto the page. Robin had a decent handle on psychology—he could rattle off theories and concepts with relative confidence. Sociology was trickier, though. He constantly worried about mixing up names and cases, jumbling up who did what study or came up with which theory. But English Literature? That was a different story.

      Of all his subjects, English made his stomach churn the most. No matter how many times he tried to analyse those dense texts, he never seemed to get the wording quite right with his answers. It didn't help that the essays felt more like a guessing game than anything else. Yohan had promised to help as much as he could, especially in the areas Robin struggled with most, but even with his support, the anxiety lingered.

      As Robin walked through the corridor, his mind buzzed with a jumble of thoughts about his upcoming exams. He was headed to the politics classroom for lunch—or more like a quick cram session, shoving a sandwich into his mouth while poring over pages of notes. Just as he was mentally ticking off his to-do list for the day, a voice pulled him from his thoughts.

      "Hey, you're Robin, right?"

      He looked up. A girl from his form stood in front of him and though he recognised her, he couldn't quite place her.

     Emily, maybe?

      She was definitely someone he'd seen every day but never spoken to enough for her name to take up space in his mind.

      "Yeah, why? What's up?" He replied, trying his best not to sound irritated.

      "Is it true that you and Yohan are dating?"

      Robin felt his stomach drop.

      How the fuck does she know?

      "Wait—what? Who the fuck told you that?" He stammered, the words tumbling out before he could stop them.

      "Amy."

      "Who's Amy?"

      "Amy Linder, she's in the year below. So, is it true, then?"

      Robin's mouth went dry, and he could feel the walls closing in.

      "What? No, no, it isn't," he said reflexively. "Sorry, I've got to go."

       Without waiting for her to respond, he practically pushed past her, his mind spiralling as his legs carried him faster down the corridor. His heart raced, and before he knew it, he was almost sprinting, his thoughts a mess of panic and confusion.

      Robin burst through the doors of the politics room, breathless, his heart pounding in his chest. Yohan was already there, leaning casually out the window with a cigarette, in his usual spot.

     "Hey, Robin—wait, are you okay?" Yohan's laid-back tone shifted when he laid eyes on Robin.

     "People know!?" Robin blurted out, his voice shaky with alarm.

       "Know what?" Yohan stubbed out his half-finished cigarette, hopping down from the table and crossing the room toward him.

      "About us!"

      The space between Yohan's eyebrows creased, though he stayed calm. "What do you mean? About us?"

      "People know we're dating."

      "How?" Yohan was right in front of him now, his eyes searching Robin's face.

      "I don't know!" Robin's frustration bubbled up, his voice rising. "Some girl came up to me in the corridor and straight-up asked if we were together."

      Yohan tilted his head. "And what did you say?"

     "I told her we're not," Robin muttered, collapsing into one of the plastic chairs. His bag dropped to the floor as his hands went to his face, trying to smother the anxiety that was quickly overwhelming him.

      "But we are," Yohan said softly, kneeling in front of him, his voice steady and reassuring."That's not the point!" Robin snapped, lifting his head to look down at him. His eyes were wide with stress, his hands shaking as he ran them through his hair. "Exams are in four weeks, Yohan. Four weeks! I can't deal with this on top of everything else!" His hands flailed in the air, like he was trying to fend off the chaos spinning around him.

     Yohan didn't flinch. He placed a gentle hand on Robin's knee. "Ro, breathe."

     But Robin couldn't stop. "You don't get it! People knowing... it's going to be a distraction. I can't have that right now."

     "I do get it, Robin. But freaking out over a rumour." Yohan's voice was calm, but firm. "Which isn't even really a rumour, isn't going to help."

      "I know, but—"

      "Ah—" Yohan raised a finger in a mock 'shushing' gesture. "It'll be fine."

      Robin slouched in the chair, groaning. "Why are you so calm about this?" He shot Yohan an exasperated look, practically pouting.

     Yohan stood up and pulled up a chair next to him, leaning forward on his knees. "Because... I kind of want people to find out." Robin blinked, surprised, as Yohan went on. "I want to hold your hand in public without worrying. I want to kiss my boyfriend without having to plan a whole secret getaway."

      "Aghhhh," Robin groaned, letting out a weird noise of frustration. "Stop being cute and making sense. Aren't you stressed about people finding out you're, like, not straight?"

      Yohan shrugged. "Maybe I was, at first. But, come on, Ro. We live in Bristol. This place practically screams queer. Sure, some people might say stuff, but honestly? Who cares? They're the ones being cunts."

       Robin let Yohan's words sink in, taking a deep breath in and out, trying to calm the rising storm inside him.

      "I just don't get it," Robin muttered after a moment. "Where would she have heard it from? Did someone see us? Did Jemma start talking? Is she trying to sabotage me or something?"

     "Jemma's a hothead, yeah," Yohan said, leaning back in his chair. "But after two months of keeping this secret, why would she suddenly start telling people now?"

     "True," Robin admitted, nodding slowly, trying to process it.

      "Have you spoken to her since... the incident?"

     It definitely wasn't a memory he regularly visited in the rolodex of his mind. If anything, he actively avoided thinking about it.

      "No, I haven't, have you?" Robin replied meekly.

      Yohan shook his head. "And risk getting my head bitten off? No, I haven't."

      "Well, that's exactly why I haven't spoken to her."

      Yohan leaned even further back in the chair, the front two legs lifting off the ground and sighed.

      "But she was your friend Robin, like, it's different. I'm her ex." He winced a little as he said it. "So I don't think she particularly plans on befriending me again. But it would be nice if we were at least... civil. And maybe clearing the air with her would, I dunno, help with that?"

      Robin crumpled his face in discomfort.

      "Look, I'm not saying you have to," Yohan added. "But it might help."

      Robin reached to grab his text books from his bag as a subtle hint that he wanted to end the conversation and replied with a sigh.

      "I'll think about it."

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

      Crouched over his usual spot on his desk, mulling over revision notes, Robin thought about the conversation he'd had with Yohan earlier that day. Luckily, no one else seemed to approach him in the corridor or in class about the not-so-rumour about him and Yohan being together. But he couldn't help feeling like eyes were watching him everywhere. Like they were trying to use the power of telekinesis to figure out what they had heard through whispers in the corridor, peeling back layers of him with their gaze. So, he was grateful to be home, in the solace of his bedroom and textbooks.

      He knew it was likely one of the girls who had said something to someone. And unless it was Jemma, it was unlikely out of malice. But then there was also the chance someone had spotted him and Yohan out and about. They could have been wrapped up in their own world of togetherness, not being quite as discreet as they had initially been.

     He sighed. Only one way to find out.

      He grabbed his phone from his desk and opened the group chat with him, Lucy, Amber, and Isha, which has recently been renamed 'Robin's secret fan club' by Isha. And typed out a message before he could think too much about it.

     Robin 20:21:
     Hey guys. Do you think it would be safe for me to talk to you all at some point? With Jemma too?

      He hit send, feeling a knot tighten in his stomach. It wasn't just about the rumours; it was about everything that had been hanging between him and Jemma since that night at the roller disco. He wasn't sure if he was ready to clear the air or if it was even worth the effort, but losing Lucy, Amber, and Isha over this? He didn't even want to think about it.

      Amber replied almost instantly.

     Amber 20:21:
     Ofc! <3 but she's spending most of her time in the art block atm, finishing her final piece, so WE haven't even seen her much honestly xxxx

      Lucy 20:22:
      We're meeting up tomorrow for a study session at a café though. You could come then? What's this about? Finally ready to talk to her?

      Robin's thumbs hovered over the screen. He took a breath and typed out what had been weighing on him all day.

      Robin 20:22:
      Somehow people know about me and Yohan.

       Isha replied next.

       Isha 20:23:
      Yeeesh. Well, maybe don't lead with that if you're trying to make peace with Jemma.

       Robin 20:23:
       You don't think she told people?

       Lucy 20:24:
      I highly doubt it.

      Robin bit his lip. He didn't want to believe Jemma would spread rumours, but he wasn't one hundred percent convinced.

       Robin 20:25:
       Well... maybe I should come anyway? Just to talk things over. Also, do any of you have any idea how people might've found out????

       He watched as all three of them read his message, but no one responded right away. He scrolled up with his thumb, wondering if his phone hadn't automatically shown the three grey dots to indicate they were typing, but to no avail. A minute past and he felt his heartbeat quicken. His throat felt tight and he pressed the home key twice and cleared the messaging app and instantly reopened it, but there was nothing.

       As he was contemplating restarting his phone, the grey dots finally appeared. Biting his thumb, he tore a scrap of skin from his cuticle just as Lucy finally replied.

      Lucy 20:29:
      Not sure. Let me talk to Jem about you coming. If she's really against it, maybe it's not the best idea. But I think she might be ready to talk now.

      Isha 20:30:
      Yeah, she hasn't brought up you and Yohan for weeks. She's been more herself lately, so who knows?

      Lucy 20:30:
      Just don't expect her to forgive Yohan anytime soon. But you? You might have a chance.

      Robin let out a long sigh, his shoulders sagging. He wasn't sure if he was ready for whatever might come next, but at least there was a glimmer of hope that things with Jemma might not be completely broken.

     Robin 20:31:

       Okay, thanks guys. Let me know xx