Dear Yohan.

       Robin stared at the blank space under the words he had written in the birthday card. He had opted for a card with a little hedgehog on top of a birthday cake with the words 'Happy Birthday' written above in colourful letters.

      He had spent almost an hour mulling over different cards in the shop, debating what he should get for Yohan. He even looked at the ones intended for couples, with cute hearts and soppy messages with phrases like, 'Love my birthday boy forever' written across them.

      Usually, those types of cards would make him want to vomit, but looking at them this time, a strange sense of jealousy overcame him, wishing that this was the type of card he could give the dark, curly-haired boy.

      But he had opted for something safe, silly, and cheerful—something he would be likely to give a friend. But now he was faced with the difficult decision of what to actually write in the card.

      The first line was easy. But now what? A simple 'Happy birthday, from Robin' would probably suffice, but something within Robin made him want to spill his heart onto the card, confess all his feelings and all the things he felt. Maybe then Yohan would finally choose him over Jemma for real this time.

      Yohan had, in fact, not 'sorted it' as he promised. He and Jemma were still very much officially a couple. On Yohan's actual birthday on Wednesday, they had even gone on a romantic candlelit dinner at a new pizzeria that had recently opened up, which Robin observed with pent-up jealousy and frustration on Jemma's Instagram page. Along with a soppy post on her story about her wonderful 'Birthday boy'.

     Robin almost cancelled meeting up with Yohan there and then, but something within him just couldn't bring himself to do it. Apart from the time before the gig, he and Yohan had never really hung out outside of school one-on-one before. And his curiosity, along with the pure magnetic pull Yohan seemed to have over Robin, made him decide to still go.

     He had even tried to bring up the situation between Yohan and Jemma a couple more times within the past few weeks. But each time he mentioned it, Yohan just shut him down. Clearly not wanting to talk about it, and making some sort of vague mention about how he was going to end it with her soon.

     Robin hadn't even brought up the mention of 'taking things further', although their touches in the secluded classroom had started to become a little more reckless. A hand here, and a touch there, which previously he hadn't dared to do. He had assumed that Yohan would invite him round to his place for their meet-up to, in fact, 'take things further', but he had asked Robin to meet him by the harbourside instead.

     I hope he's not expecting to take things further publicly... He's not some sort of weird exhibitionist, is he?

     His pen hovered over the page. He desperately wanted all his thoughts and emotions to seep from his brain, into his hand, and directly into the pen onto the card. But he just couldn't do it. But he did bravely write something a little more personal at the end.

     Dear Yohan,

     Happy Birthday!

     Love from, Robin x

     He quickly closed the card before he could think any more about it and sealed it in the envelope, placing it on his desk. Next to it was a small black box. Inside was a silver chain necklace he had bought without even thinking. While on the way home from buying the card, he had walked past a little independent jewellery shop and somehow found his way inside. And before he even realised it, he had purchased the necklace for Yohan that was now on his desk.

     What was I even thinking? Is it weird if I give him that as a gift?

     He let out a loud groan before picking up the card and the gift and shoving them into his rucksack. He collected the rest of his belongings before heading downstairs to grab his coat and shoes.

     "You heading off to meet your friend sweety?" He heard his mum's voice echoing from the kitchen as he tried to force his foot into his trainer without untying the laces.

     "Uhhh yeah mum! I'll probably be back in a couple of hours," Robin replied.

     "Friend? What friend?" Kate seemed to miraculously appear at the top of the stairs, peering down at Robin at the bottom.

     "Just a friend," He quickly responded, before finally winning the battle against his shoe and slipping it on his foot.

     "It's not... the special friend, is it?" Kate teased, a smirk across her face.

     "Oh, my Robin, are you going on a date?" His mum pounced on the words; her voice still slightly distant but clearly too preoccupied with something in the kitchen to rear her face.

     "No mum!" Robin quickly said with a slightly raised voice, feeling a little bit panicky. He turned to look up at Kate as he slipped on his second shoe, shooting her a deadly glare. "Just a friend."

     "Sure," Kate replied, the smirk on her face signalling she was satisfied with her teasing efforts. "Well, have fun." She said before slipping back into her bedroom.

     Just as Robin was grabbing his coat from the hook to slip into, his mum appeared in the doorway. Her apron was slightly speckled with what Robin assumed to be flour, and she was rubbing her hands with a tea towel. Her bright red hair pushed back with a bandana off her face.

     "Just a friend Robin, sweetheart?" She said, cocking her head slightly in a querying manner.

      "Yes mum, just a friend from school," Robin replied in a slightly irritated tone, slinging his rucksack onto his shoulders.

     "Hmm..." She replied, tucking the tea towel into one of her pockets. "You seem a little preoccupied at the moment honey."

     "I'm fine," Robin replied, his hand resting on the door handle of the front door, getting ready to leave. His mum eyebrows raised at his comment, "Promise, look I've got to go,"

     "Okay, well if you're sure, have fun lovely, tell your friend I said hello," she said, her warm smile crossing her face.

     "I will mum," he said, as he opened the door into the brisk Autumn air.

♡.﹀﹀﹀﹀.♡

     Yohan had texted Robin to meet him outside the university's art centre along the water. As he walked along the river to his destination, he could feel the chill running through his spine. However, although the late November weather was cold, he had been graced by a wonderfully sunny day. The late afternoon sun rays danced off the water's edge, and plentiful people dotted around the harbour, enjoying what could potentially be one of the last sunny days before winter fully set in.

     As Robin turned the corner, his heart skipped a beat at the sight of the familiar figure. Leaning casually against the brick wall of the arts building, cigarette dangling from his lips, one shoe kicked back against the wall. His hair, now longer than ever, framed his face in unruly curls, partially obscuring his piercing gaze. Clad in his signature ensemble of black skinny jeans, boots, and a long leather coat, but today adorned with a red and black checkered scarf snugly wrapped around his neck.

     Robin felt his pulse quicken as he approached the boy, who met his gaze with a knowing smile.

     "Hi, I hope you weren't waiting long," Robin greeted him as he reached Yohan's side.

     "Just got here," Yohan replied, flicking the cigarette to the ground and crushing it beneath his boot. "Thanks for coming."

     "Thanks for inviting me," Robin replied, feeling a faint blush creeping onto his cheeks. "And, you know, happy birthday."

     "Thanks," Yohan said, pushing himself off the wall to stand beside Robin. "Wanna go for a bit of a walk?"

     "Sure."

     The two boys strolled side by side, following the path along the harbour's edge, a route Robin had become increasingly familiar with during his runs. Yohan would occasionally point out landmarks, sharing titbits of historical significance or making the occasional reference to his childhood, which piqued Robin's interest the most. For how much time they had spent together, he realised he barely knew anything about the boy.

     "That's where me and my mates got chased by the police once because we were drinking massive bottles of cider," Yohan said, pointing towards a set of steps leading up onto the road.

     "Jesus, how old were you?" Robin asked, his eyes widening in disbelief.

     "Umm, must have been like twelve or thirteen?" Yohan replied casually.

     "Fucking hell," Robin muttered, shaking his head in amazement.

     Yohan chuckled, a warm smile playing on his lips as he glanced down at Robin. "What? You never got stupidly drunk with your mates at thirteen and got chased by the police?"

     "Funnily enough, no," Robin admitted, nervously laughing along with Yohan.

      "Such a goody two shoes, aren't you?" Yohan teased, giving Robin a playful shove.

     "Hey! Am not! One time I stole some vodka from the drinks cabinet and replaced it with water!" Robin retorted, his lips pouting slightly in annoyance.

      "Wowww, big tough guy, huh?" Yohan continued to tease, their laughter echoing along the harbour as they walked. "And how much vodka was this?"

      "Um... just a sip," Robin murmured under his breath, feeling a little embarrassed.

     "See, such a goody two shoes."

     They reached a staircase that seemed to lead down to the water's edge to a small platform.

     "Want to sit for a bit?" Yohan said, turning to Robin.

     "Um, sure," Robin replied, following him down the steps.

     They settled themselves comfortably on the platform, with Robin placing his rucksack beside him and leaning against the cold stone brick, overlooking the water. It was a secluded spot, shielded from the bustling world around them, save for the occasional passerby on the opposite side of the river catching a glimpse of their presence.

     Right, Robin, now's the perfect time to give him the card and present...

     "Um, Yohan," Robin began as Yohan retrieved another cigarette from his pocket. "I got you something, you know, for your birthday."

     "You did?" Yohan murmured through his lips as he lit the cigarette, a hint of colour tingeing his cheeks. "You didn't have to, man, not a big fan of birthdays anyways."

     "I know, I know, but like," Robin said, reaching into his bag and retrieving the card and black box. "Just take them."

     "I was wondering why you brought a bag." Yohan chuckled slightly as he accepted the gifts from Robin's hands.

     "Yeah..." Robin mumbled, avoiding Yohan's gaze as he focused on the water. "You, like, don't have to open it now or anything."

     "Oh, I'm going to," Yohan declared, the sound of the card being opened reaching Robin's ears.

     Robin waited with bated breath, not daring to look over at Yohan, his gaze fixed on the seagulls bobbing along the water. He hugged his knees tighter, anticipation coursing through him as he waited for some sort of response.

     "Cute card," Yohan remarked, sincerity lacing his voice as he seemed to pause momentarily.

     "The hedgehog is cute," Yohan added, a hint of amusement in his tone. "Is this supposed to be me?"

     Robin finally glanced over, a nervous laugh escaping him as he met Yohan's gaze. "Maybe?" he said, a playful grin tugging at the corners of his lips. "You are a bit... prickly."

     "Oh, was that your attempt at a joke?" Yohan said with a falsified, serious tone.

     "Maybe..." Robin shuffled nervously on the spot.

     "Now for this gift ey," Yohan said, picking up the box he had placed by his side and slowly opening it. Robin felt a surge of panic wash over him.

     "I know you probably have loads like that already, and it wasn't very much, and it's not like it's unique or anything, but you know I couldn't not get you something for your birthday yanno? So, I saw it in this shop window and was like, 'Well, Yohan will like that' and I just bought it you know. If you don't like it, you can just give it away, don't even worry about it."

     "Hey, hey, chill, I like it," Yohan said with a warm smile, finishing his cigarette, placing his now free hand on Robin's thigh, and giving it a little squeeze. "Thank you,"

     He let go of Robin's thigh and started to remove the scarf from around his neck, placing it by his side. Undoing the first two buttons of his coat, he revealed the other two necklaces that were on his neck. One thick silver chain Robin had always noticed he wore, and another thin, daintier necklace that was hidden under his t-shirt.

     Yohan removed the silver chain from the box and clipped it around his neck with ease. It was a simple curb chain that sat just below his collarbone, between the other two.

     "See, it fits perfectly between the other two," Yohan said, feeling the chain with his fingers.

     "When did you get your other chains?"

     "This one," Yohan said, gripping at the thicker chain. "This I bought with my first ever paycheck."

     "You work?" Robin said with surprise.

     "Cigarettes aren't cheap," Yohan chuckled. "Plus, I just need the money in general."

     "Where do you work?" Robin said.

     "At the old duke, as a glass collector as obviously, not eighteen. But they used to let me work behind the bar sometimes if they were short staffed. I'm doing my first shift as an official bartender tonight actually," he said with a pleased grin. "Bit of a pay rise at least, and not quite as boring as picking up after drunk fuckers all night."

     "Oh, how did I not know that?" Robin laughed nervously, scratching the back of his neck.

      "I mean, I didn't tell you." Yohan smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners. "That's how the band got the gig there, my manager owed me a favour for how many extra shifts I've been picking up."

      "I see... and the other necklace?" Robin inquired, curiosity flickering in his eyes.

     "This?" Yohan tugged the necklace from under his shirt, revealing a small star pendant dangling from the chain. "It was my grandma's."

     "That's the Star of David, right? You're Jewish?" Robin asked, eyebrows raised in realisation.

      "My god, Robin, you could have guessed that from my name," Yohan teased, rolling his eyes playfully.

      "Yohan Schwartz? Suppose I didn't really think about it," Robin admitted sheepishly.

      "My family is Jewish, yes," Yohan confirmed, his expression softening. "Not that I'm practicing or anything like that. And my family were never super religious either, but yanno, it's nice to remember where you came from and all."

     "Yeah, makes sense. So, the lighter and the necklace were from your grandma? She must have meant a lot to you," Robin remarked, his tone gentle.

     "Yeah, she was a great lady, basically raised me..." Yohan trailed off, a hint of nostalgia in his voice. "The lighter was a gift from my Grandad, on their first date. He knew she smoked like a chimney, so it was a sweet gift."

     "You live with your grandad, right?"

     "Yeah, he's a bit of a prick, but he's alright," Yohan admitted with a wry smile. "I know he's just grieving, but it's been almost three years. I get it, like, I miss her too, but he doesn't have to be such a miserable git all the time, yanno?"

     "I see..."

     Robin desperately wanted to ask about Yohan's parents, but he didn't want to scare him off. Yohan never seemed to open up about anything personal, and it was nice; Robin felt connected to him. So, he decided to leave it. "I'm sorry about your grandma."

     "She would have loved you," Yohan said with a fond smile. "Would have thought you were such a cutie, definitely would have tried to fatten you up though, like she always did to me." Yohan playfully poked Robin's side. "Man, I miss the cakes she used to make, shit was delicious."

     A comfortable silence settled between the two boys, wrapping them in a cocoon of intimacy. Robin felt a warmth blooming in his stomach, a sense of contentment washing over him. It was as if he was finally seeing the real Yohan—the boy behind the stoic facade, the one who held a warmth, a sense of humour, and a deep care for his loved ones. This was the Yohan he had glimpsed only when it was just the two of them.

      At that moment, Robin let his head shift and gently rested on Yohan's shoulder. He half-expected Yohan to pull away, not wanting to display vulnerability in public. But to his surprise, Yohan reciprocated, resting his own head on Robin's. Yohan's hand reached out, intertwining their fingers, his slightly larger hand enveloping Robin's with a comforting warmth. Yohan's thumb traced gentle circles on the side of Robin's hand, a silent reassurance in the touch.

     "Thank you for the present, and the card honestly means a lot," Yohan said, his voice soft.

     "That's okay, I'm glad you liked them," Robin replied, his own voice laced with sign of relief.

     "And I'm sorry I've been so... difficult. This whole thing, it's all a bit new to me."

      "I know. I mean, it's new to me too," Robin admitted.

     A silence stretched between them as they sat huddled together by the water's edge. Robin wished they could sit like this forever, in their own bubble, their own world. He desperately wanted Yohan to be his, to have him all to himself. But still, something stood in the way of that.

     "Please just... don't hurt Jemma. She's sweet, and she likes you, and I don't want her getting hurt because of this." Robin's voice wavered slightly, staring out at the rippling water. The light was starting to fade, the evening starting to settle into the air.

     Yohan sighed, "I know, I promise I'll talk to her. I know I've been a prick about it."

     "Well, at least you can admit to it," Robin quipped, a faint smile playing on his lips.

     A slight awkwardness hung between them as Yohan lifted his head off Robin's and straightened himself.

     "Hey, why don't we go get a drink that I can now legally buy, I might add!" Yohan suggested, his voice carrying a hint of forced cheerfulness as he smiled down at Robin. But beneath the surface of his smile lurked a shadow of unease.

      Robin sensed the tension in Yohan's demeanour, a knot of apprehension tightening in his own stomach.

     "Sure, sounds good," Robin replied, trying to match Yohan's forced enthusiasm, though his own smile faltered slightly.

     As they got up from the floor, Yohan picked up his scarf, the cool breeze of the waterfront stirring the fabric as he wrapped it around Robin's neck. His touch was electric, sending a jolt of anticipation through Robin's veins. Yohan glanced around as if to ensure no one was watching, then leaned and planted a quick kiss on Robin's lips.

      "That'll keep you a bit warmer," Yohan said, tucking the scarf into Robin's coat. Robin felt his face go flushed.

     "Thanks," he said, as he followed Yohan back up the steps.