Almost time for practice. I was waiting outside, in my uniform, ready for the other girls. The first girl to show up was Emma. I stood up to talk to her. 

"Emma, I-" She totally ignored me, going into the gym. I sat back down. Amy showed up next. She gave me a friendly little wave, stared at me for an awkwardly long amount of time, nearly blushing, then went into the gym with Emma. 

The last girl to show up was Katlin. Wordlessly, almost emotionlessly, I stood up to kiss her. It was just a quick peck, really, but I could see that something was wrong between me and her. 

Her kisses were always warm and full, even for just a quick peck, but something felt fake about this. Like kissing her was an obligation. Maybe she didn't know me as well as she thought she did. No, not maybe. She didn't know me as well as she thought she did. No doubt about it; I was not the Roberta she remembered. I wasn't even the Roberta I remembered. But despite that, was I still what she wanted? 

Halfway through practice, I went to grab a drink. As soon as I got to the hallway, I leaned up against the wall, letting myself slide down onto the floor. I took a deep breath in, trying to calm myself. 

"Hey, you alright there?" I looked up. I knew this girl. That girl in the garish red glasses. If I remembered correctly, she was in every club at school. She's a freshman, I think, so I'd be one year older than her. 

"Oh, yeah. I'm fine." I said. I pointed to her, the name escaping my mind. "Penelope, right?" 

"Yes, that is me. But I prefer Penny." She said. She cocked her head to the side, a little confused. "Are you sure you're okay?"

I wanted to mumble an excuse. I wanted to do anything, I just wanted to be normal again. Tell her, Roberta. Tell her how your anxiety is starting to consume you. Katlin doesn't understand what it's like to fell this way. I really hurt Emma, and now she's my worst enemy. Amy is so naive, she's going to get hurt. Katlin will break up with me if I get too weak. 

Every thought raced through my mind. I just wanted to grab one out of midair and share it; destroy it. But instead, I let them all continue to swirl around my mind. I had an image, and identity to uphold. "No, I'm fine. Just tired." I said with a little shrug. 

She shrugged as well, more smiley though, and looked like she was about to say something, but she was interrupted by another girl. "Hey, Penny? We have a problem. I can't find the last clue for the scavenger hunt." She looked down at me. "Oh, hi, Roberta." She said. 

"Hi." I responded. "Are you new?" 

"Um... no. I'm in the same class as Penny." She extended her hand down to me. "I'm Jane." She said. I took her hand and she helped me up. 

"Thanks. I'm Roberta." I said. 

"Yeah, I know." She said, grinning. 

"How? We've never met."

Penny gave a playful scoff. "Come on, everyone knows you! You're Roberta Lane; certified girl perfect! You're widely known for your infectious confidence." 

"Yeah, It would be more surprising if I didn't know you!" Jane added. 

I turned around to see my reflection in the trophy case. "Is that really how people see me?" I asked. 

"Well, I guess..." Penny trailed off, shrugging. 

"But, I mean, if you don't like the way people see you, you could always change that." Jane said. I turned around. "I mean, if you don't like being this Roberta, you're not bound to your image. You can always change to be whatever type of person you want!"

"Change... my image?" I looked down at my uniform. But this image, Roberta Lane, cheerleader, this is what everyone wants from me, right? This is who I am. 

"Please, we used to do it all the time! Penny here was a goth for a full week before she quit it." Jane nudged Penny playfully. 

"I thought we weren't talking about that anymore." Penny mumbled. She quickly shook it off. "But hey, if you ever decide that you don't like this Roberta, we'll be willing to accept you. Now, we should go."

"Um, yeah. Sure." I waved them off, and they quickly ran off, reading off a sheet of paper. I looked back in the trophy case and thought about what they said. 

Be a different Roberta? No, I couldn't. No matter how much stress it takes off, I couldn't throw away my image. I worked so hard to be known as the person I am. Besides, Emma was trying to take that reputation from me. I couldn't let her win. And Katlin... she loves this Roberta. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I just got rid of that? Not a good one, that's for sure. No, I couldn't just throw away Roberta. 

But I knew, if I ever did, I would make a beeline for those two girls. Someone to accept me, whoever I am.