I had to tell Katlin about my doubts. She's my girlfriend. I had to. I asked her to meet me under the staircase the next day. She came up soon after I arrived. 

"Hey babe." We shared a quick kiss. "What's up?" She asked. 

"Listen, Katlin? Remember those pills in the cupboard behind the mirror at my house?" I asked. She nodded nervously. "I lied. They're not cold pills." I was so scared to tell her, but I knew I had to. "They're my anti-anxiety medication. I have anxiety disorder." I said. 

Katlin stood still for a second, drinking it all in. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I was worried. I... the last thing I want is my anxiety getting in my way. Ever since I brought Amy on the team, Emma's been acting weird. It makes me anxious. I'm worried that she, or I'll do something." I said. 

Katlin leaned in and held my hands. "Don't worry. You won't fail us. I know. Sure you have anxiety, but you're still Roberta, right? You're still the girl I love, right? Someone like you wouldn't let their anxiety stop them." I smiled at her. Katlin clearly didn't understand the situation, but at least she was trying. I leaned in and hugged her. 

"Katlin, that's not how it works. I can't just... stop it. It's a part of me." I explained over her shoulder. "It's a part of me. The girl you say you love."

"Well, I know for a fact that the girl I love is brave. She won't let anything like anxiety stop her from being amazing. So keep being amazing. Not just for me. For you, too." She said. Having nothing else to say, I leaned in more to the hug. 

I never noticed Emma watching us. She turned the corner, panting heavily. It was like hearing the information itself was exhausting. She turned around to see Amy staring at her. "Emma? What's going on?" 

She looked around. "Oh, nothing." And then she left. I had given her the gun when I let her on the team, and this conversation was the bullet. And she was going to use it against me. Emma knew what to do in order to to get what she wanted. She had to destroy me. And she was going to use the bullet that I had given her.