Trigger Warning

//

Drug & alcohol use; marijuana, cocaine.
X Rated Scene Ahead

Start the song. It's You And I - Stripped by PVRIS.

Josh woke up alone the next morning, just like he expected. He reached a hand over to the right side of the bed, where Tyler would've been, and sighed to himself. He hated last night with a passion. He wanted to hate Tyler for not being able to hold off doing cocaine so soon after what could've happened to him, but he couldn't. He felt incredibly selfish for expecting Tyler to be able to get clean so easily, and he felt incredibly stupid for acting the way he did about it. He brushed his cheek with his hand, remembering the harsh slap Tyler sent to his face and he cringed in on himself. He probably scared the shit out of Tyler when he nearly threw him against the wall. He felt awful.

He climbed out of bed slowly, running his tongue under his top lip, remembering the feeling of the cocaine rubbed into his gums. He sighed heavily before raising from the bed and going into the en suite, flipping on the light switch and turning on the faucet in the sink. He gripped the sides of the sink in frustration before filling his hands with water and splashing his face, rubbing the water over his skin. He shook his head briefly, thinking of what he would say to Tyler when he left the room. That is, if Tyler was still there. He grabbed a towel and dried his face, throwing on a pair of sweatpants and exiting his room.

The house smelled and looked unusually clean. There were no bottles lining the walls, no cans thrown haphazardly all over the floor, no empty cigarette packs filling the trashcans. It was almost as if a party didn't happen here the night before, making Josh's curiosity rise. As soon as he stepped into the kitchen, his breath caught in his throat as he saw Tyler sitting at the kitchen island, his head resting in one of his hands and a cigarette in his other. He looked exhausted, like he hadn't slept all night. He probably didn't, Josh decided. The clean house, the lack of others awake in the house and the distressed look on his face were sure signs that he'd most likely spent all night cleaning and making things look presentable for if Josh decided to resurface. Josh cleared his throat softly, causing Tyler to raise his head slowly.

He didn't say anything. He just continued to drag from his cigarette as Josh walked over to the other side of the island. Josh looked around once more, sighing silently. "Have you even slept?"

Tyler shook his head gently, not meeting Josh's eyes. "I didn't feel like I could," he almost whispered. Things were quiet for a moment, only a slight sniffle coming Tyler before he spoke again. "I hurt you."

Josh felt his chest constrict at how defeated Tyler sounded, but he wasn't going to disagree. Tyler had hurt him, both physically and emotionally. "Did I hurt you?" His question caused Tyler to raise his head. "Your arms, or your back or anything?"

Tyler shook his head quickly. "No," he answered. "No you didn't hurt me. I kind of wish you would have, though. God knows I deserved it."

Josh sighed again. "It's not your fault," he said, earning a look of absolute confusion from Tyler. "You can't help your addiction, not that easily anyway. It was stupid of me to think you could quit that simply, and it wasn't fair of me to scare you and then strip you of probably the only thing that made you feel better in that moment."

Tyler shook his head, stubbing out his cigarette and walking over to Josh, taking his face in his hands and looking in his eyes. Josh's heart almost broke seeing the tears and the pain behind his eyes. "You had every right to do what you did," he said. "I betrayed you. I watched what could've happened to you, and disregarded how it could've made you feel. And then I fucking—" He stooped himself to take in a sharp breath. "I fucking hurt you, Josh. I told myself I would never, ever, hit someone I cared about and I did. I don't deserve for you to be understanding or forgiving."

"Well," Josh said softly, "too bad, because I am. Or maybe I'm stupid. We'll figure that out later. For now, I just want to hug and kiss my boyfriend, and maybe invite him to come back to bed with me."

Tyler's lips trembled as he leaned his forehead against Josh's. "I don't deserve your kindness. I don't deserve you."

"Maybe not," Josh said softly as he took Tyler's hand in his, "but who cares?"

The two of them went back to Josh's room, closing the door behind them before crawling back under the covers. The immediately wrapped themselves up in each other's limbs, holding onto each other for dear life. "This is better," Josh said softly. "It wasn't as warm without you last night."

Tyler sniffled again, forehead pressed back against Josh's as he ran a hand through his hair.

It was silent for a brief moment before Josh spoke up again. "We're going to destroy each other," he whispered. "Aren't we?"

Tyler pulled him a bit closer but sighed softly. "Probably," he answered. "But I'd gladly let you destroy me."

Josh nodded, burying his face into Tyler's chest and slipping back into unconsciousness. "Me too."

* * *

"Yes, sir," Josh said into the receiver of his phone. His boss had called to check on him, telling him to take off what he needed to get everything in order with the funeral and the house. "Yes, thank you. Alright, I'll see you around. Bye."

Josh hung up the phone, tossing it onto the sofa in his room before crawling back in bed with Tyler, groaning softly. "I feel like a jenga tower," he mumbled softly, earning a laugh from Tyler.

"What does that even mean, Joshua," he asked, blowing out smoke rings and handing the joint to Josh.

Josh took the joint and took a drag, holding in the smoke for a moment before laughing softly. "Like," he started, coughing a bit, "if I take a step wrong, or if I do anything out of place, my entire body is going to fall apart. Jumble down like a jenga tower."

Tyler laughed lazily as he pulled Josh close to him, kissing his temple. "You're like an old man," he mumbled. "Four years younger than me, and you're a grandpa."

"Better bring me my Ovaltine, then, young whipper snapper," Josh said, completely serious. "And stay off my lawn! I know you're stealing my flamingos."

The two of them were silent for a moment before cracking up in loud laughter, leaning into each other. Josh placed the joint between Tyler's lips, allowing him to take a drag before removing it and moving forward to press his lips again his. He inhaled the smoke Tyler blew into his mouth, holding it for a few seconds before blowing it in Tyler's face, causing him to laugh.

"I really think I love you, Joshua," he said softly. "I've known you for 2 weeks, and I'm almost one hundred percent sure that I love you."

Josh smiles to himself, feeling his face heat up as he pushed his face into Tyler's chest again. "Yeah," he said softly. "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I love you, too."

The two of them lied in Josh's bed for most of the day, smoking a few joints, Tyler smoking cigarettes from the bathroom and taking turns lying on top of one another with their mouths almost fused together. Brendon had popped in once or twice to check on them, Hayley brought Josh coffee, and Ashley and Dominic made sure to say goodbye before they left to go to their own home. Right now, it was just Josh and Tyler living in their own little space where only the two of them existed.

That moment was ruined, though, when Tyler's phone started ringing. He took the call in the bathroom, Josh only hearing muffled parts of the conversation, but hearing enough to know that Tyler was having something delivered to him. He didn't have to be that nosy to know what it was.

When Tyler came back into the bedroom, he climbed in beside Josh and snuggled up to him. Josh remained a bit passive, though, thinking over things. Tyler knew Joh was having some kind of internal debate with himself and asked, "What's wrong, babe?"

Josh bit the indie of his cheek gently before turning to face Tyler with serious eyes. "Who are you getting it from?"

Tyler looked a bit defeated, but didn't try to lie. "Not Pete," he said quietly. "Not Morris, either. This guy that I've been friends with almost my whole life, his name is Mike Naran. He's back in the area and called to ask if he could come hang out and if I wanted any." He looked guilt stricken, but Josh was unfazed. "I'm sorry, Josh, I know that this is causing so many problems between us, I just—"

Josh started shaking his head. "You can get high, Tyler," he said, Tyler furrowing his brows at the words. "But I wanna do it with you."

Tyler sighed gently, ready to protest but Josh cut him off. "I can handle it Tyler," he said irritably. "I'm not a child, and I'm not going to fucking die. Just... Show me how I'm supposed to be doing it, and I can do it. Please."

Tyler looked over Josh carefully. On one hand, Tyler didn't want Josh to end up like him. He didn't want Joh itching and craving for powder every few days, and he didn't want it to ruin the plans that he has for his life. On the other hand, Josh was almost begging Tyler to let him do this. It's not to do with the fact that he wants to be like Tyler, he just want to have his experiences. There's always the chance of him getting addicted, but there's also always the chance of him not. Eventually, Tyler sighed out through his nose and nodded his head. "Fine," he said quietly. "But, please, only take what I give you, okay? No more than that."

Josh smile brightly, climbing in Tyler's lap and taking his face in his hands. "I love you," he said as he peppered kisses all over Tyler's face. "I love you, I love you, I love you."

Tyler laughed gently, wrapping his arms around Josh's waist and kissing his lips gently. "You're going to tell me if it gets too much for you," he said softly. "If you can't take what I even out for you, don't try to force yourself. Please? At least do that much for me."

Josh nodded vigorously, still holding onto Tyler like a koala. About 30 minutes later, Tyler's phone chimes and he checked the notification. He sighed gently and nudged Josh. "Mike's here," he said softly. "You still down for this?"

Josh nodded without hesitation, taking Tyler's hand and pulling him out of bed with him. They walked to the front door, Tyler walking out to meet Mike at his car as Josh watched on. Mike had brown hair similar to Tyler's, was almost about the same height and had a smile completely full of straight teeth. He had a backpack hoisted on his shoulders, which Josh guessed had his 'things' in it. The two of them hugged like they'd been friends for a long time, and it made Josh smile as it reminded him of himself and Brendon.

The two came back up the sidewalk and Tyler smiled at him. "Babe, this is Mike," he introduced. "We've known each other since we were basically still in diapers. Mike, this is my boyfriend Josh."

Mike stuck his hand forward, a blinding smile on his face. "Nice to meet you, man," he said happily. "Tyler doesn't really settle down much these days, let alone use the term 'boyfriend,' so I like you already."

Josh smiled a slightly triumphant smile, nodding his head. "I think the feeling is going to be mutual," he said as he turned and smiled at Tyler.

Tyler blushed slightly. "Yeah, well," he said, clearing his throat gently. "Anyway, we should get inside."

Mike nodded, following the two of them into the house and back to Josh's bedroom. They closed and locked the door behind them, all three of them piling on Josh's bed as Mike removed his backpack and started sifting through it. He pulled out a small, circular mirror and set it next to him, pulling out a small plastic bag halfway full of white powder and placed it next to the mirror. He dug through the bag a bit more and groaned softly. "Neither of you would happen to have single razor blades, would you?"

"I think I have replacement blades in my bathroom," Josh said softly.

"Awesome," Mike said happily. "Mind if we use one?"

"I'll go get it," Tyler said, kissing Josh's temple before walking into the en suite.

Mike smiled at Josh happily, looking almost like an excited child. "I like seeing Tyler happy," he said softly. "He can be a bit of a handful at times, and always goes back and forth between wanting to be taken care of and wanting to take care of others, but he's a really good guy."

Josh nodded, bringing a knee up to his chest as he smiled. "He cares about me a lot, I think," he said softly. "He's always worried about what happens to me, or what could happen to me. I like knowing someone cares that much other than Brendon."

"Urie?" Josh nodded as Mike laughed. "Haven't seen him in ages, I'll have to get in touch with him."

Josh laughed gently just as Tyler cane back with one of Josh's razors and handed it to Mike. He thanked him and then started going about preparing the cocaine for them. "I'll do a couple lines with you guys, but then I gotta jet," he said as he divided them up. "I've got to check in with my new landlord and then I gotta go see some people."

The other two nodded, watching as he separated lines and offered a rolled bill to Tyler first. Tyler leaned over the mirror, plugging one side of his nose and taking the sniff with the open side. He pulled away, pinching his nose as he handed the bill to Josh. Josh flipped the roll around his fingers as Tyler took the razor from Mike and cut two smaller lines for Josh. He then pushed the mirror closer to Josh, who copied Tyler's actions to take the first line. This time was nowhere near as bad as the first time - probably because I wasn't taking over a quarter of an entire 8 ball up his nose at once.

Over the next ten or so minutes, the lines were gone as Mike was bidding goodbye to the two of them. As he left, Tyler locked the door behind him before crawling back in bed with Josh. He wrapped an arm around Josh's stomach and pulled him close, nuzzling at his hair. "How do you feel?"

Josh hummed softly. "Weightless," he said softly. "I feel kind of like I'm floating. It's not as bad as last time. I feel really nice, actually."

Tyler hummed back with a soft smile on his lips. "I'm glad it isn't doing to you what it did last time. That scared me so much."

Josh turned to face Tyler, placing kisses on his nose. "I know," he said softly. "Thank you for not giving up on me."

Tyler leaned down and fit his lips over Josh's, inhaling sharply through his nose as Josh began kissing him back just as deeply. Before either of them knew it, Tyler was sitting on Josh's lap and Josh had an almost-death-grip on Tyler's hips as they still kissed fiercely. Tyler let out a soft whine before burying his face in Josh's neck. "What is it, Ty?"

Tyler hesitated before kissing up the column of Josh's throat and almost whispering, "I really wanna ride you right now."

Josh nearly lost the ability to breathe. This beautiful, high, wild-eyed boy was sitting in his lap wanting to ride him? Was he dreaming? "Are you sure?" His question was soft, making sure that Tyler knew he was genuinely curious. "You don't think you're too high to make that decision right now?"

Tyler had started shaking his head before Josh even finished talking. "No, no," he said hurriedly, grinding down on Josh's hips. "I really really want to ride you right now. I'm not too high. Please, Josh? Can I?"

Josh groaned softly, squeezing his hips a bit tighter. "How the hell am I supposed to say no to that?"

!! X RATED SCENE: PLEASE SKIP TO NEXT A/N IF NEEDED !!

Tyler took almost no time in getting both himself and Josh undressed, his rushed movements making the both of them laugh at his clumsiness. He had accidentally popped Josh with the waistband of his boxers, profusely apologizing through laughter before stripping him completely. His eyes landed on Josh's erection, and he whined to himself. He reached forward and began stroking Josh slowly, causing him to let out a deep guttural groan.

Before too long, Tyler climbed completely in Josh's lap and started lining himself up before Josh stopped him. "Don't you need to, like," he started, making some kind of circular motion with his hand, "stretch or something?"

Tyler laughed. "I may not have been with someone for a while," he said softly, "but that doesn't mean I didn't take care of myself."

Josh groaned again as Tyler lined up his tip with his entrance, feeling him starting to slowly sink down. He let out a strangled noise as his head pushed past Tyler's ring of muscles and started sliding in inch by inch until he was completely buried to the hilt inside of his boyfriend.

Tyler let out a low growl as he completely seated himself down in Josh's lap, letting out strained puffs of air. "F-Fuck, Josh," he whined as he began bouncing gently.

Josh held tightly onto Tyler's hips, guiding him up and down as he pushed his hips up to meet Tyler's movements. Josh wasn't a virgin, not by any means, but - and this may be the coke talking - this had to be the best sex he'd ever had. Hands down.

It wasn't too long before he switched positions with Tyler, flipping them over so he was thrusting into Tyler at a rhythmic pace, one hand supporting himself on Tyler's chest and the other holding one of Tyler's hands.

There was either of them were going to last long, so it was no surprise when - not even 10 minutes later - Tyler was clawing gently at Josh's back and exclaiming softly, "J-Josh, I'm gonna come."

Josh nodded in agreement, squeezing Tyler's hand as he changed his angles and began thrusting wildly. Barely five thrusts later and Tyler was crying out as quietly as he could, coming in white ribbons across his and Josh's stomachs and chests. It didn't take too long after Tyler had let go for Josh to follow behind, groaning softly into the skin of Tyler's neck as he released inside of him, earning a soft whine from Tyler at the feeling of being filled.

!! X RATED SCENE OVER !!

Josh rolled off of Tyler gently as to not hurt him, and went to the bathroom to grab each of them a washcloth. He ran them both under warm water and came back the bed, handing one to Tyler. After they both cleaned themselves off, they crawled under the blankets and wrapped themselves in each other's arms. Josh pressed a soft kiss to Tyler's cheekbone, nose and lips before nuzzling into his hair. "I love you," he said softly.

"Not as much as I love you," Tyler whispered back, already on the verge of sleep. Josh smiled softly to himself as he and Tyler fell asleep tangled in each other's limbs. He could definitely get used to this.